Ponies Versus Starcraft

by ambion

Changeling vs Changeling

Pre-thingy note - Surreal is my own character from my other story, Changeling Heart and the New Moon. This is totally a shameless plug in to promote that story - it’s really good, I promise! It’s even been featured.

Now to the much more important story at hand - Changeling vs Changeling

The, ahem, ‘pony,’ pink like carnations with large magenta eyes stared at the glowing computer screen. Before her lay a series of questions to be ticked off, yes or no, and while the changeling wasn’t at all sure what she’d expected, it hadn’t been this.

She thought for a moment, then cautiously created a column of tics.

To read them, she was a physically fit, socially active mare with a keen interest in furthering her career path while also knowing the importance of fun and cutting loose. According to her picture - painstakingly chosen from a score of shots she’d taken of herself - she was an attractive, balanced, playful, earth pony with a certain strong tautness to her legs and hips, exhibiting a certain slender curviness too good to be true.

When it asked her what type of relationship she was seeking - not fully understanding the question or the answers - Surreal hesitated, then chose ‘casual,’ and ‘open.’

If it is too good to be true, than it probably is.

Her mouse lurked over the submit button. It wasn’t like she was actually lying. More just...presenting her best side, right? Well okay, she was fudging the truth a little...a lot. But that didn’t make it a downright lie, did it?

She clicked the button, and waited, wondering what happened next.

‘Ping!’ happened next. Then another, and another. In as many seconds, twenty prospective matches filled her inbox, mostly stallions but some mares too, and she didn’t know what to think about that.

The first description she read carefully, not too sure.

The second was better, she would admit, but still...

By the fifth she was laughing, and by the fifteenth she was dismissing any match with the slightest imperfection out of hoof, brushing up on the maniacal cackling her Queen so favoured.

Then, bruising her cyber way through the droves of the inferior, she found...him.

She saw his picture, and he was cool, collected, calm masculinity incarnate. Everything about him was perfection carved from the finest marble, filled to brimming with the finest of traits.

Surreal made a very girly noise of delight, and, struggling to be the cool, collected, calm pony she entirely was not, meticulously wrote out the most casual, laid back message her trembling hooves could manage.

Precisely ten minutes later - every second of waiting she trembled with anxiousness, the reply came.

With an impeccable force of will the changeling forced herself to wait precisely eleven minutes before replying, because she couldn’t at all let herself seem eager. She dropped the most blaise mention of a possible date she could think of.

In it’s entirety, the twelve minute delayed response read like this: Sure. Sounds good.

Surreal leapt for joy, shrieked with delight, danced about in silly happiness.

The website even took their localities and proclaimed lifestyles’ into account, recommending a particular cafe.

The three days between shutting down her laptop and walking into the hip cafe was the epitome of nerutoically enthusiastic date preparedness montages.

In short, she was ready. If her heart raced, at least her still hooves and misleadingly easy smirk showed nothing of it.

He came in the opposite door as she did, and at first Surreal thought it was just silence in her ears, but no, the whole cafe really did cease all sound, all motion as they strode in.

Each drew the gaze of a respective audience from the mares and stallions, and a few unique ponies of each sex tried to gawk in both directions at once, trying to not pant and froth at the mouths for their efforts.

The pair took their seats, at a regular little table that otherwise was treated by the rest as the customers as Centre Stage.

“Hey,” he said.

“Hey,” she said.

The waitress tried to hide the rising pitch to her voice and the sudden stifling tightness of her shirt collar as she drew up to them.

“Just water. With ice,” they said simultaneously. As a changeling, Surreal didn’t eat the same food that ponies would. Her heart fluttered at the thought such a perfect stallion might actually choose the same option she was forced to default to by circumstance.

The mare serving them, shaking like a leaf as her eyes darted back and forth between them, stumbled, and Surreal shut her eyes and gasped as icy water fell over her.

In shock, she could feel the change spell broken, her true, less than perfect...much less than perfect form revealed.

She huddled closer into herself as the screams started, and shuddered against the sounds from stampeding hooves and tables overturning.

As the last tinkling sounds of broken glass rang out, she dared open her eyes. Surely he left, surely he was revolted with the very idea of her, surely he was-

a terrifying mass of quivering body mass and appendages, with mismatched, tessellated eyes and strange, unnatural colours. Water dripped from what - with the benefit of the doubt - was his head.

She looked to him, as he looked to her. They looked to the destruction of the cafe, now devoid of ponies entirely. They looked to one another. Surreal sighed.

“Ponies, huh? If I didn’t need to be around them for food, I’d wonder why I bother at all. Thinking they’re so much better than the rest of us. So much holier than thou,” Surreal said, stressing the words as she wiggled a distinctive hoof in the air. When the worst had already happened, there was a strange sensation of airy lightness through her.

The abomination against nature smiled, ululating a deep, throaty chuckle. “I know, what were we thinking? Gotta be true to ourselves,” he said, his voice made up of strange gurgles and clicks, but still understandable. With a groan, he hoisted his bulbous abdomen from the seat with wiry limbs affixed to a slender thorax.

“...Want to go back to my place? Try this again, but properly this time?” Surreal heard herself saying.

“Yeah, I’d like that.”

A moment later, two absurdly perfect ponies walked out of the calamity, grinning knowingly to one another all the while.

Comments

[Dragon Turtle]

This definately makes me want to read your changeling story. Surreal seems very different from the typical "changeling in Ponyville." Unfortunately, I have a lot of "read later" titles, and Favorites that I need to catch up on. These last two chapters have been the most emotionally filling, and I hope you're able to continue this way. Although I'm still a fan of the ponies interacting with an entire army.

[RedvsBlue327]

Ok, I get why Surreal is there, food and stuff, but why is the Zerg changeling there? Gathering info for the coming infestation? No... Kerrigan and Celestia are buds...

Or maybe this is taking place after Kerrigan was de-zergified via blue explosion, in which case renegade zerg are going to invade soon?

[ambion]

1446351

Applying canon and logic to Ponies vs Starcraft?

Admirable, but foolish dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/lolface_Queen_Chrysalis.png

He could just as easily be there because he wanted a date

Making sense...where's the fun in making sense?dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/discord.png

[RedvsBlue327]

1446442 But applying logic is my usual next course of action for any situations!

I'm upset about something? Apply logic to understand the problem!
A question no one else can answer? Apply logic to find a solution!
In a conversation with someone? Apply logic to make a response!
A situation where applying logic is useless? Apply logic to find use!

Funny thing is, Pinkie is my favorite pony.

[ambion]

1446788

Such insolence! dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/sillyfilly_Sweetie_Belle.png

You have made yourself worthy of my baleful glare - indeed, the next chapter shall be dedicated to you and your precious logicdl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Twilight_crazy.png

Dare ye weather the storm?

Dark yays ahoy! dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/yay_red.png dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/yay_red.png dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/yay_red.png dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/yay_red.png dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/yay_red.png

[RedvsBlue327]

1446960 I'm scared now.

Quick logic! Break down and complicate what's going on in unneccessary detail!

[Alondro]

ANOTHER TYPE OF CHERNGELERNG!!

*drops nukes all over da place*

MUST OVERKILL TO THE EXTREME!!

[Sozmioi]

Talk about a short-term relationship - Changelings last 2.5 minutes.