• Published 7th Nov 2022
  • 6,490 Views, 221 Comments

Stop asking QUESTIONS! (also, why are you acting so weird right now?) - Cxcd



Sunset is getting fed up with her friends asking questions about Equestria suddenly. It's almost like they're planning for something... like a vacation.

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01 - Through the Mirror

Above the Canadian city of Canterlot, the city lights were unnaturally still.

It was late at night, the full moon shining directly overhead and illuminating the landscape in a ghostly blue halo. The cool summer breeze drifted wistfully across the beautiful night sky, the only sources of illumination being billboards, the blinking red stoplights for nobody, and the harsh blue flickering streetlamps that sporadically dotted the streets.

Canterlot wasn’t exactly a big city. It was an average town with most modern necessities, if one was willing to look hard enough. There wasn’t a Walmart, nor any big box chain stores, besides a single McDonalds that nobody went to anyways. Instead, the factory produced slop was replaced by quaint shops and storefronts that lined most streets, ran by people who actually lived in town. The closest the place got to traditional capitalism had to be the Apple Family exporting apples via Filthy Rich. And that was only because Filthy Rich had been born and raised in the town as well.

Since the past year, the town had begun to gain a notoriety behind it. Tales of a demon take-over by the students of Canterlot High had spread far and wide, but due to the inaccessible and usually quiet inhabitants of the city, nobody on the outside could actually verify the ludicrous claims. Most people on the internet simply brushed off the videos as fancy video effects, or simply a filter.

However, if anybody happened to be walking by on a night like tonight, they might stop and stare at the immaculate building of Canterlot High. They would take in the classic red bricks that made up the school front, the statues on the tips of the roof, the huge glass dome, and the fancy glass doors at the front. They might even stop to look at the school’s mascot out front, a horse rearing up on it’s hind legs, swinging it’s hooves.

They might even notice the glossy base of the statue.

They might even notice it shimmering.

They might even notice it humming.

And for the hell of it, they might just notice the concrete turn to water as ripples stretched across It’s surface, an impossible veil of blue light shining out of the seemingly solid surface. A bubbling began pillowing out, and before one could blink, a figure was unceremoniously dumped from the inside.

AAAH- Umph!” A young girl was thrown out, skidding on the ground a short distance, laying flat on her stomach. Her eyes were shut tight, arms splayed out to the side as she laid there for a moment, processing what had just happened.

Slowly, the girl opened her eyes, getting herself to her knees in a delicate and deliberate manner. She slowly extended out her arm, staring at the end and wiggling her fingers side to side, rotating and twisting her hand in an observing manner as if she had never seen something like it before.

She took her fingers and glided them through her pink, fluffy, and cotton candy-like hair, feeling the curly tendrils wrap around and break from her fingers. Then, she used both of her hands to grip her bangs, bouncing them up and down like she was playing with her own hair. She let her fingers dance across her face. She felt her eyes, lips, nose, and cheeks in delight. Then, finally, she reached down her hands and gripped the edge of her skirt, pulling it out and looking at it with a smile.

“Blanket to keep me warm?” She asked nobody in particular, as the empty streets didn’t seem too eager to respond. “This is going to be a piece of-”

Suddenly, the statue seemed to ignite with the same pulsating light as before. The pink girl barely had any time to react, turning around and raising her arms to protect her face as the statue spit out four more girls. The original one let out a tiny squeak as she became buried underneath the four others. Everything went still for a moment.

Ugh- my head…” The girl on the very top of the pile moaned. She was the first one to roll away, stopping a good distance away and staring straight up and into the sky, full of blinking stars. She had an orange flannel on, sleeves rolled up to her shoulders and tucked into her blue jeans, which were held on with a belt. She had big brown boots on, and placed delicately on her head was a nice stetson. She, similarly to the pink haired one, felt her face.

She had the same freckles on her tanned skin, the same blonde hair tied into a ponytail that dangled over her shoulder. The same green eyes, even. She reached up, and tugged her stetson down onto a more comfortable wearing position. She took a deep breath in, feeling as her lungs didn’t seem to quite inflate the same way as they did before.

“Twi’ didn’t tell us this would be doozier than a pigeon peckin’ on a fig!” She exclaimed to the rest of the group, still groaning and rubbing her eyes.

“Oh- um- I hope the pigeon is alright…” A second voice said. It took her a moment, but eventually she dismounted from the pile, crawling away and collapsing a fair distance away. She pushed herself up, looking at her pale fingers spread across the ground. She let out a quiet eep! as she observed herself. She had pink hair, flowing around her head and creating a safe barricade. Strung over her shoulders and going down her entire body was a flowing green dress that made her look delicate, even if she felt anything but right now.

“It’s a saying, Flutters.” Applejack said, turning her head to the side and looking at the green-dressed girl. “Is that you, Fluttershy?” She asked. “Ya’ll look… pale and weird. Where the hay are we, anyhow?” Applejack attempted to push herself up, noting that the two flesh mounds seemed to inhibit her movement a little.

“Twi’ told us!” A raspy voice said, dismounting from the pile less elegantly than anybody before. She slipped, hitting the ground harshly in front of Applejack, and groaning as her head hit the concrete. “We’re in Canterlot, or whatever.” She grumbled, rubbing the back of her head. Her hair was cut shorter than the rest of the humans splayed on the ground, rainbow in color and spiky. Around her legs were tight black pants that ended at white sneakers on her feet. On her chest was a picture of her Cutiemark, patterned against her white t-shirt.

“It certainly doesn’t look like Canterlot…” There was a huff, and a girl with dazzling purple hair straightened her back out politely. Although her skin wasn’t nearly as pale as Fluttershy, she still wore a healthy dose of make-up, apparently somehow being applied on the journey over here through the portal. She wore a purple skirt, billowing out over her comfortable seat as her legs dangled off. “This place is positively dreadful.” She raised her hand up, only hesitating for a quick second as she stared at her fingers, before patting her hair politely.

“Aww, it’s not that bad, Rarity!” Rarity’s seat said. Rarity looked down quickly, realizing she wasn’t sitting on a chair, and instead sitting on the crook of Pinkie’s back. Rarity blushed in embarrassment, trying her hardest to slide away politely, but due to her unnatural proportions from her pony form, she only found herself falling painfully to her knees. Pinkie merely giggled, getting into her own comfortable position.

“Yeah…” Fluttershy whispered, still looking at her fingers in fascination. “I- um- I like the colors?”

“Of your fingers, darling, or the city?” Rarity inquired, adjusting from her knees to her bottom, trying to get more comfortable on the concrete ground.

“Yeah.” Fluttershy nodded. She put down her hand, finally, looking around the girls splayed across the entrance of the school. They all looked various shades of pale. Upon first look, Fluttershy thought Applejack was the darkest skinned due to her obviously tanned skin. But then she laid her eyes on Pinkie. “Speaking of colors… why is Pinkie’s skin dark?”

“Huh?” Pinkie pulled her hand back up, looking at her dark skin. “Is that weird?” She asked.

“Darling.” Rarity huffed, rolling her eyes. “We’re used to being every color but white and black. This isn’t anything.”

“Says the only white pony in our group.” Rainbow huffed.

“Hay, now.” Applejack had now fully sat up, patting a hand on Rainbow’s shoulder. Pinkie simply shrugged.

“Er…” Rainbow looked up in confusion, staring directly at her childhood friend in Fluttershy. “Flutters, how are you standing?”

“Standing?” Fluttershy looked down, suddenly aware that the ground was now significantly further away than it was a few moments before. “Oh! Oh, dear!” She repeated, her knees buckling as she began wobbling side to side. It came to a climax as she fell over, catching herself on the ledge of the horse statue, pulling herself back up to standing. “I-I don’t know how I did it! I-I was busy looking at my fingers!”

“It must come naturally with these bodies.” Rarity observed from her spot on the ground. She adjusted on the ground uncomfortably. “These… bodies don’t sit on the floor very well. I can feel my bones pushing through my blank, and it hurts.” She sighed, pushing fallen hair out of her face. “I will wait for my moment to stand. A proper lady shouldn’t stumble like a foal! No offense, of course, dear Fluttershy.”

“It’s okay.” Fluttershy nodded, both of her arms clinging to her statue for her life as her feet were still crossed awkwardly. She watched as the dark skinned girl of Pinkie simply stood up. She blinked. “Um- Pinkie, how did you do that?”

“Super easy! Watch me!” She giggled, dropping down onto her bottom like Rarity. “First, you sit down on the ground like this…” Then, she rocketed back up with practiced ease in less time than it took for most people to blink once. “And you’re done!” Everybody looked around in confusion, but shrugged it off on the idea of Pinkie being Pinkie.

Rainbow looked to Applejack, attempting to change subject.

“Geez, is that you, Applejack?” Rainbow asked, leaning over and looking at the former Earth-pony up and down. “You look super weird!”

“Ya’ll lookin’ worse for wear, too.” Applejack drawled in sarcasm.

“No-no! I mean- you’re like buff!” Rainbow reached forwards, and against Applejack’s consent, grabbed her bicep. Applejack’s eyes went wide, quickly reaching over her other hand and batting away Rainbow’s intrusive hand.

“No touch!”

“I-I didn’t mean to say you didn’t look good before!” She paused. “Wait- no, that’s not- that’s not what-”

“Simmer there, Romeo.” Applejack rolled her eyes, pulling her stetson down with a grin. “You like muscles on your mare?” Rainbow blushed, tucking her face into her knees in embarrassment. Applejack smirked harder, barely suppressing a laugh at her own teasing.

Rainbow groaned, laying down on her back-

My wings!” She suddenly shouted, shooting back up. Everypony else jumped at the loud volume, turning in concern. “Oh sweet Celestia, my wings!” She awkwardly reached her hands behind her back, reaching and feeling around her bare back in quick gropes. “Where are my wings?” Rainbow began pulling off her shirt in a vain attempt to find her wings.

And my horn!” Rarity joined into the shouting, rubbing her forehead delicately enough to not disturb the portal-applied make up. Her hands fell into her lap in defeat. “I only got it sharpened last week…”

“Funny…” Applejack crossed her arms in a surprisingly natural gesture, glaring at the former Pegasus and Unicorn. Pinkie walked behind Applejack, copying the same motion in mock anger. “We ain’t missin’ nothin’,” She shook her head. “Welcome to the Earth-pony way, girls.”

“Earth-ponies rock!” Pinkie added, before bouncing away.

“I- um- don’t miss my wings that much, if that helps…” Fluttershy added meekly, now only having a single hand on the statue to support herself. “And- um- please stop shouting. Somepony is going to see us…” The gang of girls looked around for any wayward eyes. Luckily for them, due to how late it was, the place seemed deserted. Applejack shook her head once more, pulling her legs under her and standing up. Rainbow looked up in shock.

“H-How did you stand up?

“Need help there, Dash?” Applejack asked cockily, tilting her head with a smile. “Seems like ya’ll havin’ a hard time. Need some of this farmer muscle?” She showed off her arm, flexing it slightly.

“S-Shut up.” Rainbow looked down with a blush at her crumpled shirt in her hand and at her own bare chest. “I thought I was coming with wings! That pesky bastard didn’t tell us I wasn’t going to have wings!”

“Ya mean yerself?”

“Whatever!” Rainbow sighed, pushing herself into a more comfortable sitting position again. “Just- help me up, okay? Please?”

“Alright, alright.” Applejack held out her hand. “Give me yer’ shirt first.” Rainbow nodded, handing her the crumbled white shirt. “Now give me yer’ hand.” She switched. Rainbow looked at her own hand for a second, figuring out the mechanics of gripping, having to squeeze all five fingers at once. She reached up, grabbing Applejack’s hand, and feeling herself being lifted off of the ground by a strong person.

She met Applejack’s eyes.

“Oh, fuck.”

Ah’m taller than you!” Applejack shouted. “In yer face!”

“Yeah, yeah…” Rainbow shrugged. “Whatever. Only because you’re a human!”

“Those Pegasus genes ain’t helping you now, are they?” She laughed heartily. “How’s the weather down there? Ooh, ah’m gonna get you back so good! After all these years!”

The difference in height was barely two inches. Rainbow blushed again, looking down more. Applejack stopped her hyping, looking down at Rainbow curiously. “Ah’ ain’t makin’ you that flustered, am ah?”

“Dumb human brain…” Rainbow whispered to herself. Applejack smiled, grabbing Rainbow by the shoulder reassuringly.

“Now, let’s practice walkin’, but slow, kay?”

Over by the statue, Pinkie Pie seemed to be bouncing up and down like she had owned a pair of legs for her entire life. Fluttershy was still standing meekly, having progressed to only having a single hand for balance on the statue, and Rarity had given up completely on waiting for her ‘opportune moment,’ now forcing herself to stand up.

“These- brutish boots!” Rarity complained, falling back down to her bottom for the umpteenth time. She kicked her legs out, reaching around her skirt and aggressively pulling off her high-heels, leaving her purple socks the only thing covering her feet. “There. That’s more like it.” She pushed her hands into the ground once more, finally standing up. She tensed for a moment, then relaxing her shoulders with a dramatic sigh. “Feels better standing up.” She said to mostly herself. “So, darling.” She turned to Fluttershy. “I know you have a secret eye for fashion. What do you think?” Rarity struck a pose, putting one hand on her waist and another behind her head, letting the natural human tendency of showing off to take over.

“Oh- um- it’s very… pretty.” Fluttershy honestly complimented. Rarity beamed. “And the stitching looks… nice.”

“Thank you!” She smiled, relaxing her pose. “I must admit, Twilight telling us that the portal was giving us clothes gave me a moment of hesitance, but it appears my fears were unfounded.” She was wearing a purple skirt, separating her blue shirt with a black belt around her waist. She would’ve done a little twirl to watch how the skirt fell, but unfortunately, she didn’t feel like immediately collapsing. “I must take the time to thank whatever higher beings sown this for us. Whether it be Starswirl of Faust herself… I’m not big into praying, but…”

“Well, I like my outfit, too.” Fluttershy said, smoothing out her green dress that reached almost all the way to the ground, only leaving a sliver of her leather boots exposed. “You’re wearing a skirt, I’m wearing a dress, but um- what are they wearing?” Fluttershy pointed to Applejack and Rainbow, both of which were now taking small steps with their arms slung over each other's shoulders for support.

Rarity nearly barfed at Applejack’s plaid orange flannel. Just like Applejack’s fashion sense, it was an abomination to all of pony- or, humankind. She was also surprised at how buff Applejack was. Perhaps in Equestria, Earth-ponies gained most of their strength through magic. But here, in a world devoid of magic, it would make more sense ifthe lack of magic was made up for in pure muscle.

But both of them wore pants. Applejack’s pants were baggier and made of denim, while Rainbow’s black pants clung to her skin. Unfortunately for the two ponies-turned-human, they were quite confused. Not only that, but the black bra Rainbow was wearing only spiked their confusion even more.

“I-I do not know.” Rarity said. “It’s some sort of cloth covering their legs. It does look fashionable, though. Even if Rainbow took off her shirt.”

“Ooh!” Pinkie bounced over, Fluttershy and Rarity taking half a step back to allow room. “What do you think of my skirt?” She asked, holding her blue skirt out and showing them. Rarity looked down, raising her eyebrow.

“It’s quite lovely!” She complimented, wrangling her fingers around the hem of the skirt and feeling it with her thumb. “All of us are wearing high-quality material. Apparently, the ‘gods’ have quite an expensive taste.” She let Pinkie’s skirt drop as Pinkie beamed.

“Thanks!” She beamed. “I think I’m missing my magic, though. I can’t grab the lollipop I stored in my mane earlier. I don’t think it’s working!” She let her hand dissolve into her mane, rapidly swooshing it around. Uncharacteristically, nothing dropped out.

“I don’t think there is any magic in this world.” Fluttershy observed. “Rainbow is shorter, Applejack is stronger, and-” Fluttershy looked at Pinkie, biting her tongue. “Never mind.”

“What?” Pinkie asked, looking down at her skirt. “Is there something wrong with my dress?”

“N-No.” Fluttershy coughed. “I mean- you- never mind.”

“Tell me!” Pinkie bounced. “Tell me- tell me- tell me-”

“You’re… short?” Fluttershy whispered, looking away in embarrassment. Pinkie stopped her bouncing, but kept a smile on her face.

“Aw, that’s okay, Fluttershy!” She giggled. “That’s nothing to be ashamed of!”

“And…” Fluttershy looked even further away. “Large.

“L-Large?” Pinkie’s face momentarily fell. “But- you said I’m short!”

“What Fluttershy means to say-” Rarity redirected her attention away from the embarrassed former-Pegasus. “You liked eating cupcakes in Equestria, correct?”

“Uh-huh!” Pinkie nodded.

“Well- you know how you never gained weight?”

“Very rarely!”

“Well- what if some of that was your own inherit Earth-pony magic? How much of your… unnatural abilities come from Earth-pony magic, like your never-ending mane?”

You sayin’ I’m fat?” Pinkie crossed her arms, leaning back, and leveling Rarity a stern expression.

“N-Not fat!” She waved her arms. “Just- plus sized!”

“Plus sized…” Pinkie blinked. “I’m plus sized and fun sized!” She brought back her exuberance, bouncing once more. “Being short is awesome! It’s not like I’m obese, or anything. Just a lil’ chubby!” She looked up at Fluttershy. “Plus, not everypony can be a skyscraper!”

“I-I’m sorry.” Fluttershy apologized.

“I think we cover the entire spectrum.” Rarity started. “Fluttershy is the tallest, followed by me, then Applejack, Rainbow Dash, and Pinkie.” She pointed everybody out. “I do wonder if there are any other differences…”

“Like how Rainbow Dash doesn’t have a chest?” Fluttershy pointed out. Rarity followed her finger, looking at Rainbow and Applejack.

“Indeed.” She itched her chin. “Applejack’s chest is quite a bit larger than hers. What even are these… chest mounds?” She looked down at her own chest.

“They look a little bit like breasts.” Pinkie said, looking down at her own. “I beat you all in the size category!”

“It’s not a competition.” Rarity rolled her eyes.

“But- um- don’t breasts only enlarge when a mare is pregnant?” Fluttershy asked. Rarity raised her eyebrow.

“That is true…” She shrugged. “I’ll have to ask Twilight about that when we get back.”

“Agh- Dash!” Applejack dismounted her arm from Rainbow’s shoulder, letting her fall onto the ground. Applejack then tripped over the rolling blue form on the ground, waving her arms wildly as she attempted to right herself. She eventually did, thankfully not eating the ground in the process. “Like ah’ said, ya’ll need to take it slow!

“I did!” Rainbow said, pushing herself up and back into a standing position. “It’s not my fault these stupid legs won’t cooperate!” She huffed, walking without Applejack. “Seriously, we’ve been here for over five minutes, and I can barely walk! Why can everypony else walk but me?” She tripped on her foot again, stumbling forwards and catching herself on the statue, much like Fluttershy had a few minutes prior.

“Speaking of which…” Applejack looked around. “We still need’a find a way home.” She tapped her chin, looking across the street. “There ought’a be somethin we can use-” She stopped, her jaw still working in position. “Well, dag nabbit…”

“What? What’s wrong?” Rainbow asked, warily stepping forwards. She accidentally bumped shoulders with Applejack, following her line of sight across the street. Then, she noticed the same problem. “Aw, shoot.”

“I’m just saying, mine are bigger than Fluttershy’s!” Rarity said loudly.

“I don’t believe it.” Pinkie crossed her arms. “Compare!”

“How are we supposed to do that?” Fluttershy asked.

“Girls?” Rainbow’s voice cut them off. The three former ponies looked over at them, staring across the street. “I think we found a problem.” The two girls walked behind Applejack and Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie walking in front due to her height.

“Oh, dear.” Rarity said. “It appears we cannot read the local locale.”

On top of a canopy across the street was a sign illuminated by pale blue light. It was a fluorescent sign, spitting out blue light, and if one were to stand very close, could hear it humming faintly. Big, huge letters took up the front of the office, even covering a few windows that happened to be in the wrong place. Pinkie squinted her eyes for a moment, trying her hardest to decipher the text.

“It’s a post office!” She eventually said, snapping her finger. Then, she looked at her hand in confusion, not entirely sure how she made that sound.

“Now, how did ya’ll figure that one out?” Applejack asked, looking down at Pinkie.

“Because, look! There’s a picture of a letter!”

“Oh.” Applejack rubbed her forehead, her stetson bouncing for a moment. “Ah’ thought that was a letter.”

“It is, silly!”

“No- Ah’ mean a character.”

“Who would make a letter into a character? A kids show?”

“No- ah, forget it.”

“Speaking of which…” Rarity let the group turn into a circle. “Where did our letters go?” She asked.

Suddenly, all five girls simultaneously put their hands on their thighs and hips, patting down the place where pockets should’ve been, trying to find the letters their doubles had written for them. Most of them didn’t have pockets, and fortunately, Rainbow Dash was the first one to provide an explanation.

“Oh, Celestia!” She shouted. “We ate them!”

“Oh?” Fluttershy asked, not even giving Rainbow the pleasure of mulling over her idea, still searching her dress folds.

“Where else did they go?” Rainbow shouted. “I-I put mine under my wings- and if I don’t have wings anymore- did the portal put it inside of us?” Rainbow looked down, putting both hands on her stomach. “Are we gonna die?

“Found ‘em.” Applejack said, dramatically raising five notebook pages of varying sizes from her jeans pocket. “Pockets, ya’ll. Ah’ got pockets.” She pointed to everypony else. “Ya’ll don’t.” Rainbow let out a sigh of relief, wiping the sweat from her head.

“Uhm…” Fluttershy raised her hand politely. “If we can’t read the signs… can we..?”

“Oh, dear!” Rarity quickly rushed over, surprisingly nimble on her two legs. “She’s right!” Rarity took the letter that was obviously hers, being written with elegant calligraphy compared to the other ponies notebook pages, especially the one covered in stickers. Rarity unfolded hers, trying to read the squiggles. “How are we going to get to our double’s homes?” She fretted.

“Wait!” Applejack shouted, holding her letter out at arms-length. It was three notebook pages taped to each other, creating one large sheet. “Ah’ have a map!” She waved it around in victory, before returning it to her outstretched position. In the dark, soft blue glow of the streetlamps, there appeared to be a hastily drawn map of the immediate surroundings of the town. “Here’s the dang school!” She pointed to a three pointed building. “That means that- err- that street here… take a left by that building, and then another block until Dash’s house!” She pointed at a square with Rainbow Dash’s Cutiemark floating above.

“Aw, that’s easy!” Rainbow said. “Well- would’ve been easy. If I had my wings…” She added spitefully. She looked back at her bare back, devoid of any wings. “Stupid…”

“Well, looks like ya’ll gotta do it the old fashioned way.” Applejack said, slapping a hand on Rainbow’s shoulder. She winced, nearly toppling over in the process. “We Earth-ponies ain’t ever uses wings nor magic.”

“Don’t um-” Fluttershy spoke up. “I thought the Apples had a few Pegasi?”

“Course we do.” Applejack chuckled. “Ah’ meant Earth-ponies in general, not just the Apples. We love em’, no matter which Tribe they are. Hay, we even got a few Trans-Tribes. We ain’t judgmental.” She rolled her eyes, looking down at the map again. “Aw, shucks. Sweet Apple Acres is a good hour or two out of town by walkin’. Could ah’ bunk with somepony tonight?”

Sure.” Said four people at once. They all looked at each other with curious glances. Fluttershy put her hands up and immediately backed away from the confrontation, leaving three. “I’ll do it!” They all said again.

A few minutes later, and several staring-contests had passed, Rainbow was the victor, her eyes burning with tears as apparently humans sucked at staring contests.

“Victory!” Rainbow yelled through watering eyes. Fluttershy, and Rarity, both of which who were sitting on the ground, studying the map, jumped in surprise at the sudden raise in volume. “I get to take my trophy home!” Rainbow shouted, bending down and swiping away the map from the ground. Then, she grabbed Applejack by the arm. Despite Applejack being the stronger of the two humans, she still found herself being dragged away forcefully.

“Help!” Applejack shouted as she was dragged away by a topless Dash. Fluttershy and Rarity exchanged questioning glances. Applejack let the rest of the letters drift to the ground wistfully.

Pinkie Pie, who was observing the map, watched from her position, laying on the ground and kicking her legs.

“I ship it.” Pinkie said with a shrug.