04 - Late Last Night
It was the next morning. There was a thin layer of dew on all of the grass around the vibrant and bustling city of Canterlot, a stark contrast to the cold and melancholy of late last night when not a soul was up and about. Out of the pony-turned-humans of the group that had found themselves on the receiving end of a concrete walkway to the face, Rarity was the first to wake up.
She woke up in a bed that wasn’t quite her own. To be fair, of course, it wasn’t her own. And to be doubly-fair to her human counterpart, the bed was passable enough to get her a good night’s worth of beauty sleep, even if she hadn’t managed to sleep for her full nine hours due to the ludicrous time she went to bed.
It was a fair walk to her parent’s house that had left her tired. Although she didn’t feel any younger, not feeling like she had the same amount of energy she would’ve perhaps five years ago in her pony body, it was obvious in the way she blearily blinked back sleep that yes, this body was that of a teenager’s, and yes, she was waking up the same way she would’ve as a teenager back when.
Rarity threw her legs off the side of her bed, sitting straight up. Her parents were gone, off to vacation. Which was better for her current situation, as the less hard questions she had to answer, the better. Which she had her fair trade of hard questions last night.
Rarity is not going to discuss last night. She thought, rubbing a hand through her hair. Rarity will not discuss last night.
School was due to start in an hour and a half, which she deemed more than an acceptable amount of time to get ready. First things first, however, a shower was in order. New body meant new rules, and Rarity wanted to err on the side of caution with things involving cleanliness. Ponies were known through Equestria as very sanitary creatures. When one-third of all pony population could only grab things using their mouth, that species tended to adapt to most obstacles. Thankfully Rarity wasn’t an Earth-pony. And thankfully, she had a full set of ten fingers to use to her advantage.
The shower started off hot. Which was strange, as Rarity could definitely not remember a time when water came out the faucet as hot as it did here. Whenever she took showers at the boutique, it would take at least five minutes to warm up the water, if not longer. But here, in this world full of flickering electric lights and computers with light-up screens? Perhaps Equestria had a thing or two to learn from Earth. Or the United States. Or Canada. Or- actually, Rarity wasn’t exactly sure where she was right now.
Using soap on bare skin was a strange experience to the former pony. Being coated in a layer of fur for her entire life, suddenly switching to a bare, fleshy, and kind of baggy surface to rub soap into was weird. Admittedly, it was much easier to scrub herself clean than if she were taking a shower with a coat. Which also meant that her original estimate of waking up an hour and thirty minutes early was way too long. She had more than enough free time to herself before school started, and that was entirely by accident.
Rarity had to maneuver herself around her…
Well.
Big- err- sandbags?
Honestly, size was more of a hindrance than a positive in her eyes. It made maneuverability just that little bit more difficult, to say the least. It wasn’t like they were constantly in the way, more like they were always kind of there, and Rarity hated having to look at them.
It made no sense why the opposite sex thought they were attractive. What were they besides big flesh mounds? Of course, the conversation she had last night proved more insightful than she had initially wanted. Breasts for breastfeeding. Of course.
But why did every woman have to develop them, no matter if she were to have a child or not?
And then, to bleed out every month as your body’s way of holding you hostage until you procreated? Rarity vastly preferred the way ponies did it. Once a year, go into heat for a week, and then be done and over with it. By the way the internet was describing it, periods were an absolutely awful and painful experience for, in Rarity’s eyes, absolutely no positives. So what if she had to lock herself in her boutique once a year for a week? At least she wasn’t in withering pain every damned month.
It didn’t make Rarity feel good that her body was, quite literally, a ticking time bomb. A ticking time bomb that would go off if she stayed here for too long. There wasn’t even a guarantee that it wouldn’t go off in the week she was here.
What also put a sour taste in Rarity’s mouth was the fact men didn’t have to go through any of that.
At least, not in this world, and not in these bodies.
By the time she was done with her… thought experiment, Rarity had already wrapped her hair in one huge towel. At least she could still do that in this world. She used three towels, two for her hair, and one for her body. To which she fastened above her previously mentioned chest.
Rarity will not even think about last night. She thought harder. Rarity is a sophisticated lady, even if her current body is holding her hostage.
One huge positive about this world, however, was the fact that every single person, no matter of culture, race, or religion, had to dress up in the latest fashion trends. People lining the street wearing shirts, pants, coats, and dresses. It was a wish come true, really. Unfortunately, Rarity had apparently cast her wish on the monkey’s paw, leading to the unfortunate reality of sexual appeal.
Breasts are such a pain in the flank. Rarity thought, sighing out as she held a t-shirt close to her body in the mirror. On the front page of one of her many fashion magazines sprawled across the room, it showed a woman on her knees with a hand over her chest, fluttering her eyes at the camera. Rarity was all for showing off, but so far her experience in this world told her that every aspect of her body had been sexualized to the point of ridiculousness.
She eventually chose an outfit composed of white pants and a purple shirt based off of one of the less saucy photos of the model on the front cover of the magazine laying on her dresser. She gave herself a twirl in the mirror, looking at herself and making sure that the colors she wore didn’t clash horribly with herself. Of course, she looked fine.
She took a deep breath and exited her room and into her parent’s home.
It was nothing like her parent’s home back in Equestria. It was essentially a completely different home. Not only that, but apparently her own business didn’t even really exist over here. Sure, there was a clothes shop named the Carousel Boutique, but that’s a far cry from the actual Carousel Boutique where she sewn her own ensembles together and actually owned the building instead of operating over a boss who couldn’t care less about the place.
It was strange, knowing that everything she had worked towards in her universe was essentially wiped from this one. This universe’s Rarity was younger, which could explain why she didn’t have her own home like the Equestrian Rarity does.
The kitchen was still the kitchen in the home, however. Although the counter tops were completely different from her parent’s Equestrian home, it still shared her father’s absolutely horrid choice of fashion, being two completely incompatible colors on the counter top and cabinets.
And sitting at the kitchen island with her ‘phone’ held out in front of her, watching a video, was Rarity’s sister, Sweetie Belle.
She paused with the spoon half way in her mouth, flashing her eyes up to her sister. Sweetie slowly set the spoon back in the bowl with practiced movements.
“So…” Sweetie said, pausing her video. “Are we going to talk about last night?”
“Rarity is-” She paused, shaking her head. “I’m not talking about what happened last night.”
“But… were you drunk?” She asked. Rarity sighed, walking towards a cupboard and swinging it open, luckily finding the cabinet full of bowls first try. She took one out, closing the cabinet behind her. “You seemed drunk. Like- blackout drunk. It looked like you could barely walk.”
“I wasn’t-” Rarity turned around, clenching her fist and taking another deep breath. “Fine. I was… inebriated. Happy?” She huffed, picking a spoon from the silverware drawer.
“Sure.” Sweetie said, although the look in her eyes told Rarity she wasn’t totally convinced. She watched with hawkish eyes as Rarity sat down on a stool on the other side of the kitchen island, pouring herself cereal from the nearby cereal box on standby. Sweetie shook her hand for a moment in contemplation, but eventually decided to keep eating, clicking play on the video on her phone.
Rarity tried to stop herself. Really, she did. But in the moment, in the kitchen, eating cereal an hour before school, she couldn’t stop herself from thinking about last night.
“This, Rarity, is called the internet.” Sweetie explained, standing up from the office chair and taking another step back, jazz-hands out as she put the piece of technology on full display.
Rarity hadn’t quite seen anything like it before. Sure, there was electricity back in Equestria, if a bit basic and limited in scope. Why develop an electric television when a magic television works just fine?But, compared to the luxury of crystal power, this was something else. A computer that would usually take up the size of Applejack’s barn was sitting in front of her, with a proper screen like a television and a keyboard like a typewriter. It’s construction was plastic in design, a clam shell design that hinted towards portability. A sticker in the bottom left that read ‘Windows Vista.’
“You have a phone, Rarity. How do you not know what the internet is?” Sweetie asked, crossing her arms and raising an eyebrow.
“I just- don’t, okay?” Rarity said, approaching the desk. She pulled out the plush green chair that looked dated in design, perhaps a retired chair from some poor office worker decades ago. She sat down, and pulled herself towards it. The screen was bright white, almost hard to look at, as her eyes had a hard time adjusting.
Actually- that was a lie. Compared to her pony body, Rarity hadn’t even felt the need to put on glasses for work. Which was honestly a luxurious improvement she could get behind, if a bit telling of her pony body’s age. She was only a few years older, promise!
She let her fingers rest on the type-writer like keyboard. Although she was familiar with it’s design, the letters and symbols printed onto the key caps were completely unrecognizable. She reached her fingers out, and by pure memory alone, began typing her question into the search bar on the web page.
“Uh…” Sweetie cocked her head. “Err-V- TBS, colon, YAB?” Sweetie repeated, turning to look at her sister in the chair. “What?”
“Oh, dear me.” Rarity sighed. “It appears I cannot type, either.”
“Cannot type?” Sweetie rubbed a hand over her face. “Ohmygosh, Rarity, just use the microphone!”
“The- microphone?”
“Yes!” Sweetie pointed at the screen. There, to the right of the search bar, was a small symbol of a microphone. “Click the microphone next to the search bar using the mouse.” She pointed at a beige oval to the right of the computer. “Then, you can talk to the computer like a person. Ask it your question.”
“Really?” Rarity asked, leaning closer to the screen. “Like a person?”
“Well- it’s not a person.” She corrected. “It’s not alive, or anything. It’s a robot that will try and answer your question.”
“This is quite sophisticated.” Rarity nodded, a smile on her face. “Where was this technology ten years ago?”
“Still… here?” Sweetie said. “Ten years ago was two-thousand and three. Rarity, you use talk-to-text all the time on your phone. Should I be concerned? Have you been replaced by an evil clone, or something?”
“No, I’m not a changeling.” Rarity said by instinct. She let out a small gasp, looking to her sister, Sweetie, in accidental tongue-slippage related shock.
“Changeling?” She asked, looking back at Rarity. “Is that some kind of movie character?”
“Never mind.” Rarity looked back at the computer, letting out a sigh in relief. She grabbed the beige oval, and dragged it across the mouse pad. Onscreen, the mouse followed her hand movement, finding it’s cursor on the screen, and hovering over the microphone button. Rarity looked down in confusion for a moment, finding two buttons where her fingers were. She pressed the left one, and the screen suddenly lit up with a red circle. A little bit like how a recording booth would have a red circle. Rarity assumed it was listening, and politely cleared her throat.
“Show me pictures of chest mounds, please.”
“Rarity, what the fuck-”
To be fair, searching up ‘chest mounds’ didn’t get her anything too sexual. Just a few articles about what to look out for diseases. But Sweetie still got the idea behind Rarity’s search, and as unfortunate as it was, Rarity had to sit through as Sweetie had ‘the talk’ with her.
Never, in a million years, did Rarity expect Sweetie Belle to be giving her the talk. Apparently, the Sweetie in this world was much closer in age to herself than the Sweetie in her world. But the point still stood that Rarity had a lot to learn from her sister. Namely, about chest mounds.
“I’m sixteen, and I know this stuff!” Sweetie exclaimed as Rarity slunk back in her chair, both adorning a healthy reddening around the cheeks in embarrassment. “Do I need to explain how the egg gets fermented, too?” She asked mockingly.
Rarity shrunk deeper into her chair.
“...Seriously?”
Even if this Sweetie didn’t technically share an ounce of DNA with her sister, they were close enough that Rarity could say with complete confidence that she absolutely hated what she had learned about the ethics of this world. If it wasn’t for her friends already being here and ready for vacation, she would’ve absolutely booked it back through the portal and back to Equestria, where mares weren’t being held hostage by their reproductive parts.
“I- I wish to apologize, Sweetie.” Rarity said, letting her spoon clink into her bowl. Sweetie paused her video again, looking up. “It was quite crass of me to ask those questions. Especially to somepony as young as yourself.” Sweetie furrowed her brows, mouthing the word ‘somepony’ in confusion. She took a moment, swallowing her cereal.
“It’s fine, Rarity.” Sweetie shrugged. “I didn’t know you skipped health class, or anything. It’s not really your fault you don’t know about that. I guess.” Rarity smiled, and went back to eating her cereal, as did Sweetie.
*Rrring! Rring!*
Rarity was currently an infinite amount of distance away from her life. Her family. Her home, her school, and her planet. But no matter how far she ran, no matter how far she flew, no matter how far she jumped realities,
*Rrring! Rring!*
Her mother always called her at six in the morning.
Rarity lethargically extended her new hoof across the bed, patting the area where the phone should’ve been. It took a few moments, but she eventually found her phone underneath a pillow. She lit up her new horn, extending out her reach, and feeling the wispy tendrils wrap around the black brick, pulling it up and over her face, to which her eyes were barely open.
She leaned up on her pillow, using her nose to slide the green call button to the left, and pressing speaker.
“How’s my baby girl doing?” The voice said on the other end, coming through tinny and even slightly staticy. “I hope you’re up and ready for school today.”
“Of course, mom.” Rarity said, her eyes feeling like a bag of weights. She barely could focus on the screen, the profile picture of her mom barely visible through the blinding light.
“Dear, turn on face time! I can’t see my baby girl!”
“Fine.” She said. She once again reached up, using her muzzle to click the face time button.
The screen flashed for a moment, and through the static, her mother’s expecting face came through the phone screen. She was a pudgy older woman, her hair slicked back into a bun, wearing a bathrobe for wherever she was.
“There’s my baby girl!” She said with a huge smile. “Now- I want you to get Sweetie Belle to turn in her… homework…” Rarity’s mom’s smile slowly faded as she stared at the phone screen, her face slowly turning to confusion. “D-Dear, do you look a little bit pale?” She asked. “And… hairy?”
“Wh-huh?” Rarity blinked harder, looking down at her icon in the bottom left.
She was a Unicorn. Talking to her human mom.
“Uhh-” Rarity swallowed. “I can explain!”
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Mildew is a fungus. You want just dew.
Phones have service in equestria? Neat.
...The answer to Teen Rarity's situation is 'Sorry, Rainbow Dash rigged up a filter on my phone and I can't work out how to turn it off". But then, caught flat footed at 6am doesn't make for the best problem solving.
11557832
magic is better then friendship it free minutes
I have no idea who Joe Hawley is or what he has to do with this story or chapter.
11559674
I was tired when finishing the chapter lmao
Rarity feeling frustrated by the human body adds a dose of realism to the story.
11557858
Also, she went to the human world with zero preparation for what she would encounter.
I’m guessing that note is binary?
All I got was M***L****T
11574868
That is exactly what that binary converts to.
00101010 = 42 = *
Well, it's currently midnight, and I've read four chapters and am going on my fifth. Congratulations. You're lucky it'll be memorial day come morning so I don't have to get up.