"Diplomatic Relations"
The pair of trucks thundered down the foggy trail that ran from deep in the Everfree forest, all the way to the outskirts of Ponyville. Twilight galloped alongside them, doing her best to keep up. Luckily for her, the crowd of rednecks, gun nuts, and veterans were in no hurry. Despite the fact that by this point their hunger had made them all grumpy.
"Hey, Twilight!" Jared shouted out the window. " How much longer!?" She shot a glare over at the truck. "Not much longer." he rolled his eyes, and kicked back. " Hey Mike!?" Jared called out. Garand Thumb looked out the window of the Humvee, " How about some music?" There just happened to be a set of enormous speakers attached to the top which were supposed to be used to broadcast surrender appeals. But he had them blast, " 'Murica." By Earl Dribble's Jr. to both boost their spirit's, and make a point. It was about this time that the distant rooftops of downtown Ponyville came into sight though the trees.
"There it is!" Twilight shouted over the roar of the engines. The humans couldn't help but snicker at it. Twilight led them down a sideroad to a small 60's looking dinner just off the dirt road. " Well this place looks trustworthy." Brandon whispered to Angry, who nodded in agreement. "Whatever, I'm hungry, c'mon guys!" They dismounted and casually strolled inside before Twilight had a chance to stop them. They immediately regretted their decision. Being that no one had bothered to tell the occupants of said restaurant that they would be getting a visit from a dozen or so heavily armed and armored humans. And the pair of trucks outside were another matter entirely. And now, all eyes were on them. The mare behind the counter blinked in confusion as the team sat down at the bar alongside the counter.
Twilight trotted in after them. " They're with me." She reassured the ponies in the dinner the waitress chuckled, and looked up at Matt. " Good morning ma'am. You got pancakes? You guy's are good with pancakes, right?" Jared and Logan raised their hands. "How 'bout some eggs and bacon?"
"You... Eat bird eggs?" They all laughed. " Tell you what, we'll just have the pancakes, and some butter as well. We'll take care of the rest." Mike said with a smile. Evan jumped up and went for the cooler. Jared got up as well. " we had food in the cooler all along?"
"We didn't want you eating it on the way here!" Evan shouted from outside as he unpacked a barbeque and a set of pans. And simultaneously started up the coffee machine. "Alright, who's paying?" Bandon asked the others. They all looked at each other with uncertainty. Then Logan turned to the mare behind the counter. " Do you take USD?" She raised an eyebrow, and looked over at the line of customers which had slowly began to form behind them. "Uh... What's USD?" Twilight went up to the counter.
"Please excuse my friends, they're new around here. Here, I'll by for them." She reached into her book bag and pulled out 5 small gold coins. The pony behind the counter gleefully took them and trotted off, shouting orders to the kitchen. " Twilight?" Matt snapped his fingers. " Just out of curiosity, that wasn't real gold, was it?" She facehoofed.
" Actually, it is. They're called bits. They're the standard currency for Equestria." They all turned to look at each other with the stark realization that the average Equestrian would most likely be a millionaire by earth standards. that's when Matt got a great idea. " Let's open a coffee shop in Ponyville! Evan?" A head shot up from behind the humvee. " Coffee shop, here!? I love it!" Jared pointed down at the grill. " Foods gonna be ready in a few minutes, grab your plates and line up now, or it's mine!"
"But what about your pancakes?" Scott held up a finger. " We'll get it afterwards. You can never eat enough."
"Say's the person with an empty stomach!" Brandon laughed. Twilight and a few of the other ponies in line looked looked at him with concern. The rest tried their best to avoid eye contact, but to give credit where credit's due. they didn't all panic and run when the humans first walked in.
"Hey Twilight, you ever tried bacon before?" Matt questioned. "No, I haven't. But I suppose I can give it a try."
"That's my unicorn! Next question, can ponies eat meat?" Angry asked, butting his hands on on his hips. Twilight rubbed her chin for a few moments, "...Yes?" Matt returned her statement with a thumbs up, and waved her outside just as Jared called out, " We've got brisket as well!"
The team sat outside the dinner around a table with their food. Twilight may have been skeptical of eating meat for the first time, but now she quite literally couldn't have enough of it. It was about this time when Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash strolling by when they noticed the humans and armored vehicles parked outside the dinner.
"Hey there Twi, what's going on here?" Rainbow bounded over to them and looked at the dozen or so humans devouring their food. "Mph, pardon me ma'am." Matt spun around on his chair and stared eye to eye with Rainbow. "Name's Matt. How' you doing? I've heard quite a few things about you."
"Good things... I hope?" Matt laughed, " Sorta. Hey, do you 2 want something to eat?" They looked at one another, "What's that?" Fluttershy pointed to the bacon.
"Oh... That's bacon!" Jared responded. " It's pig meat." He explained. Fluttershy let out a squeak, " P-pig meat?" Mike nodded, " Hey, if you don't wanna eat it, that's fine by us. No one's forcing you." She backed off.
" Don't worry about her, she's scared of her own shadow." Twilight explained to them. Evan snapped his fingers as he finished his food. " Heh, my shadow's scared of me!" A roar of laughter arose from the table as they washed down their meal with coffee. " Hey Rainbow. I've got some stuff to do, would you mind showing them around Ponyville?" She gave Twilight a grin. But Eli stopped her before they could part ways.
"Do we just leave our trucks here?" Rainbow scowled. " I'm sure they'll be fine." Angry shrugged. " She's right, this doesn't look like the crowd that'd be in the business of carjacking. Lock 'em just in case. "
"Are you implying you don't usually lock your trucks?" Mike muttered under his breath as he slip out from his chair. Angry facepalmed, then pointed at the Humvee. "No-I, I do. I was just reminding you all." He walked away grumbling in irritation.
"Diplomatic relations my ass. We can barely keep ourselves together!" The team watched as the angry drill sergeant stomped his way back into the forest and out of sight.
"Should we... Go after him?" Brandon Herrera asked with uncertainty. Donut waved it off, " Eh, he didn't bother to bring a gun with him, but then again... It's him. He probably doesn't need one." The rest of them laughed at that, meanwhile the 3 ponies continued their stare of confusion. In an instant, they all stopped their argument and turned to face Rainbow. " Please, lead the way." Evan gestured down at the dirt road.
Angry leisurely strolled through the forest, kicking up the grass as he went along with the soles of his steel toed boots. As chance would have it, he stumbled into a patch of bushes.
"Oww-" The bush cried out, stopping as soon as Angry pulled himself out of it and looked down. Just in time to watch a tail disappear into it. He scowled, and slowly rubbed his chin. "Well... That's not supposed to be there, or is it?" Without a second thought he reached into the bush and rummaged around in it until he grabbed hold of what felt like a large bird.
"You're not getting away this time!" He yanked it out, and swung his right fist all at the same time. Fortunately, he actually recognized the magical creature he had just pulled out of the bush. It was a griffon. And a very, very unhappy one at that.
" What are you doing here?" Angry asked, shaking the griffon by his head. " What are you?" The creature sputtered out. Disregarding Angry's demand. "Well... I'm..." He nervously glance over his shoulder, but Angry snapped the giffons head back to himself.
"Look at me little one, what are you fuck doing here!?" Just as the griffon opened his beak to give an answer, several dozen figures emerged from woods around Angry. They were armed with a mix of crudely made swords and spears. Angry calmly surveyed the scene while going though his potential courses or action. But settled with chucking the griffon currently in his hands into the nearest one and bolting away at full speed. It wasn't a retreat, it was a tactical withdrawal. Being that he was going for his guns which he had left in the bed of a truck on the outskirts of Ponyville. That, and he wanted to get his friends in on the action as well.
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Didn't the Black Rifle Coffee Company prove it was a sellout that didn't actually support gun owners or their second amendment freedoms?
11295340
They did. They're grifters. They don't believe in the 2A.
11295861
I know the CEO is the worst one. Evan if I recall
11296018they knew what people liked and they marketed very well. I'll give them that. Blackout Coffee is better.
Okay what is with this like to dislike ratio? Did the writer of this fic kill a puppy?
11296135
BRCC is contentious at the moment I havent kept up with why I dont drink coffee anyway and I'm sure someone will be along to explain how they stepped in shit.
So you have the maelstrom of people who dislike 2A stuff and people who like 2A but dislike BRCC. It all comes toghter as a bunch of people who dislike something tangentially related to a bunch of things.
11295621
media.discordapp.net/attachments/508461225336766485/995501451579228271/Imadethis_eac7c67d535519da79fcb2c7fee63efa.jpg
It's rather sad that you are correct.
11296135
The Black Rifle Coffee Company recieved a lot of criticism lately for announcing a sponsorship in the wake of several mass shootings, which many felt was tasteless: https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=https://www.nytimes.com/2022/07/07/us/dallas-cowboys-black-rifle-coffee.amp.html&ved=2ahUKEwiTvbKMzu34AhVWX_EDHcwfDKA4ChAWegQIDRAB&usg=AOvVaw3V50DpqC80oXiaoqknxjpy
On top of their sketchy business practices, BRCC is disliked by many people for being associated with the worst parts of american gun culture - namely, the insufferable, overly macho, 'punch holes in the drywall' type of dudebros whose entire personality revolve around being gun owners and who often have a worrying tendency to loudly proclaim their elaborate fantasies about how they plan to shoot any would-be home intruders and how badass that makes them feel (yes I am biased, and for a good reason).
In short, the amount of dislikes is likely caused by the frankly bizzare and tone-deaf decision to post a fanfiction about BRCC (which in itself is pretty wierd) in a time when said company is getting flak for their marketing in the wake of a mass shooting in the US - which are always a controversial topic when they occur - and because BRCC is disliked in general.
11296338
Add to their CEO basically being a sellout that doesn't actually support gun owners or the second amendment. He donated to both Obama and Biden, who are very not friendly to legal gun ownership even under the best of times.