Coffee vs. Equestria

by aegishailstorm

Moderately Hasty Tactical Withdrawal

Ian looked back at the library entrance. Then at the guards which were steadily advancing on him. "I would be very much gratified if you let me leave peacefully." He repeated, he drew the Five Seven from a holster by his side and put it's red dot sight squarely on the lead one's skull. But after a few moment's went for his double barrel shotgun instead. He check the chambers for a moment before flipping it around and knocking the first griffon guard off his talons and paws. He bought his boot down on the other one and shoved the muzzle of the shotgun into their faces. "Drop 'em!!!" The pair hesitated for a moment, but did as he instructed.

"Ian, what's going on?" Brazen had poked his head out of the library and was now staring at the human. Who now had the 2 guards at his mercy. He glanced over his shoulder for a brief moment, and realized that there were several more guards converging on his position. He now had 3 choices, surrender, fight, or tactically withdraw. He decided to go with a combination of the last 2.

"Alright, let's see, they're probably faster then me, I'm gonna need a head start. He whipped the shotgun around with one hand and emptied both barrels of double odd buck over the heads of the guards. The noise of the gunshot, combined with the impact of the pellets against the wall cause them to all duck for cover. He broke into a blind sprint back down the hallway. Ian rounded a corner the climbed down an unfinished section of wall. Alarm bells sounded in the distance. He took one quick look off to either side of him and crossed the street.

He was looking for a way back to Point Liberty. He knew the way back, it was just a matter of actually getting there. And after the stunt he had just pulled, it was highly doubtful that any griffon would be willing to fly him back there. He'd have to find another way. He ducked into an alleyway as a column of griffons marched past. Blackhawk was leading from the back.
" I have to tell them about this."

The armed historian jogged down the alleyway and ended up in a dilapidated garden. On the far side was a conveniently placed hot air balloon. He calmly strolled out into the open and took a look around. Seeing that not a single soul was around. He made for the balloon, Ian speedily untied it and made ready for flight.

As he quietly hummed, "Into the wild blue yonder." He began to get the feeling that something was watching him. He turned around to find a single griffon, much smaller than the rest. a youngling, McCullom presumed. It was covered in bright array of red and yellow feathers. For a moment, the 2 of them stood there, unsure of what to say. The griffon snickered. " I won't tell if you won't." Ian blinked in confusion, but nodded nonetheless. "Ok." The youngling flew off, and Ian finished setting up the balloon. He set off southeast. Back towards the camp he had left behind, and, hopefully. His friends.

---

"Well you know John, I happen to know a thing or two myself about dealing with tyranny." Celestia said to the ex Army Ranger. He smiled and nodded sarcastically. He had wandered off with Celestia and was now in the process of debating philosophy with her in the Canterlot Royal Library. Being a self proclaimed, "Warrior Poet." He felt that it would be prudent to ask her a few things about Equestria. Of which he had learned quite a bit about. Including the fact that it was established in the wake of her sister's banishment to the moon. The whole concept of magic still bewildered him a bit. As it did with the rest of the humans. " Our country just elect's some one new to run for president every 4 or so years. I don't really bother concerning myself with stuff like that. I've got a company to manage, a farm to run. And a family to take care of. I told them I'd check back in a week. If my work here wasn't done before then. I like what I've seen so far of Equestria. But I still wouldn't take it over the American backwoods. She smiled back, well... That's understandable." John glanced over his shoulder as Princess Luna entered the room, followed immediately afterwards by his teammates.

"Damn." Brandon Herrera remarked. " Nicest library I've ever been in." Angry finished. Evan looked over at John, then at Celestia. " Let me guess, warrior poet stuff?" He laughed, "That's a wide generalization of it. But yes, warrior poet stuff. I was just about to tell her about Dante's Inferno. But I suppose that'll have to wait for another day." Scott scoffed, " Stop showing off, I'm relatively sure that Equestria had myth's just like that. And considering that Equestria is well... Equestria, they probably aren't myths."

"Well, if you're interested, you may access the royal library whenever you want. Jared walked over to the nearest shelve and snatched the first book he touched off it. He read the title aloud.

" Celestial magic and you: An Alicorn's Guide to Life." He blinked in confusion, " What the hell?" Evan waved it off as Donut ran into the room with a... Well, donut in his mouth. " Hey guys! You're never gonna believe who showed up!" Scott pulled back the library curtains and peered through the enormous window, on the other side was none other that Ian McCullom. Gun Jesus himself. In a hot air balloon. He cupped his hands around his mouth, signaling that he wanted to talk, and then pointed south, towards the gardens. "Mmfff!!!" Donut announced, finishing the remainder of his donut.

"I thought you didn't like those things." Matt murmured. " Well I don't have anything better, do I now?" He licked his fingers and folded his arms. As he looked away and began to walk out with the rest of the team. All of a sudden they saw their shadow's flash against the wall, followed by a confused scream. " Scott looked back into the library, there was John and Celestia, standing above an alicorn with a green mane and grey fur. The new creature looked itself over with a mixture of wonder, confusion, and shock. Finally, it opened it's mouth. " Guys, what happened?"

"Lucas!?"