Coffee vs. Equestria

by aegishailstorm

Armed Historian: Part 1

The flock of armed griffon soldier's flew over the Everfree forest heading Northwest. Ian had actually agreed to come with them. And, not knowing that he was actually armed to the figurative teeth, they brought the historian along with them. He was fine with it, Ian was actually fine with it. It wasn't every day you got to fly with mythical creatures. And it wasn't like he was about to pass the opportunity up.

---

While Ian headed to the griffon kingdom to hopefully contact their leadership and learn about their species, the other American's were busy surveying Canterlot on a semi guided tour. While Angry and a few other's headed down to the dungeon to interrogate a POW. The majority of the outfit was taking a tour with Princess Celestia. Their first stop was the guest rooms. The team stepped though the front gates of the castle and began making their way down the castle's ornate hallway's.

" While John and Scott did their best to stay humble at the sight of the magnificent architecture. Brandon and the rest of them couldn't help but gawk at it. While it was no Texas Salon. It was still pretty impressive. Whilst most of them had visited a castle at some point in their life, this was something else entirely. It was quite literally something right out of a fantasy story.

"Hey, Celestia. How did you build this place?" She chuckled, " It took quite a bit of magic, for the most part the ponies of Equestria were more than happy to assist with it's construction. I would have had my sister help. But she was banished to the moon at the time." Brandon scratched his neck, "Oh, yeah. How did she manage to survive a thousand years up there anyway?" John Lovell glanced over at Celestia as though he had seen a ghost. " Well... Who banished her? And for what?"

"I did. Brandon, Donut, Scott. You all remember what happened at my old castle a few weeks ago." They all nodded in agreement. " I wasn't there, would anyone here care to explain it to me?" A book appeared in the air, lit by Celestia's magic. On it's cover was the gilded drawing of a unicorn head. " This should answer all of your questions better than I could. He nodded, " Thank you very much ma'am."

"You are a 'Warrior Poet' after all man." Donut chimed in. John grunted and stuffed the book into his backpack. As Celestia led them a bit further to the guest rooms. There was more than enough space available for the humans present. The rooms themselves each contained several beds, dressers, bathrooms, and assorted decorations. All of the rooms featured a wonderful window facing northeastward towards the river which flew from Canterhorn lake, the lake created by the waterfall which flowed from Canterlot. And speaking of Mount Canterhorn's water fall, it rivaled Angel Fall's on earth. Of course, one was situated in the middle of a remote jungle in the middle of a socialistic hellhole of a nation. The other was located in Canterlot, the capital of Equestria. It would do for now.

---

Whilst the BRCC team and Texan's were getting settled in, Luna was leading Angry and a few other's though the dungeons below Canterlot. Whilst most people would be disgusted by the sight of it. Angry cheerfully walked alongside the Princess.

"Bagh!!! You call this a dungeon? I've seen worse daycare center's in Fayetteville!" Luna looked over at him. " What?" He shrugged, Mike laughed. " Damn right they are. I mean, hell... I could live in one of these cells." He unassumingly kicked the bar's of the one closest from him. He immediately regretted his decision when something came out of the darkness and clawed at the bars. Luna ignited her horn, and the being retreated back into the darkness. Angry folded his arms. " Eh, still seen worse. "Mike flipped the cell off, and they continued on.

" Hi Princess, I have two questions for you." Luna looked over at Mike. " Go on then." He scratched the back of his head, " First of all, is this the only prison in your nation. My friend's and I find it really odd that you decided to keep stuff like whatever that thing was under your capital. I mean, there's a reason we don't have a prison in Washington D.C. They've got jail's, sure. But no major prisons." She raised an eyebrow. " Washington D.C... That's the name of your nation's capital, right?Well... We have another one named Tartarus, but we haven't had many reason's to use it, there isn't exactly much crime in Equestria." Mike shrugged, "I kind of figured that. Still, isn't it a security issue?"

She pulled a key from her saddlebag's and opened a cell door. " No, not to my knowledge." Mike chuckled at her remark. "Forgive me if I don't trust your knowledge over my experience. " The three of them turned to look at the griffon that had tried to get away from them the day prior. His eye's widened as Angry stared him down. "Oh, it's you again. " He snarled. The creature sounded more depressed than anything else, that wouldn't dissuade Angry or Mike from getting answers.

"The location you gave us turned out to be the camp we were looking for. Thank you for being truthful." The griffon crossed his talons and looked away. "Angry snapped his finger's, " Hey! You'll look our way while we're addressing you, is that understood you little shit!?" He sighed, and turned back around. " Look, I get why you put me here. But I can assure you, none of those other griffon's are friend's of mine. Heck, I only joined General Blackhawk's revolution because of the free food. "

"Heh, well. I've heard worse excuses in my time. But that's understandable, now. When we attacked your camp. We didn't find any trace of this 'General Blackhawk. Cool name by the way, that his real one?" The griffon shrugged. " I don't know, they don't tell me anything. "

"Anyway," Mike continued. " Where could he have gone?" The griffon swallowed. " Umm..."

"Aw shut up!!! You must know something! I've dealt with my share of enemy combatants in my day. I can tell when they're lyin'." Angry snapped, the creature recoiled back. " Hey, what's your name? You do have one, right?" The griffon brightened up.

"Red Wing. Yours?"

"Mike. Call me Garand." He shifted his rifle on his back slightly. Angry leaned forward. "Well, you gonna tell us?" Luna watched the conversation from the doorway.

Meanwhile in Griffonstone...

Ian set his boot's down on the dusty road in front of a castle, a few moment's later, the portcullis rumbled open. The griffon's that had brought him in mumbled something about "Renovations." He shrugged it off and unassumingly walked through. He was immediately approached by a griffon wearing slightly more ornate armor than the other's. He assumed that he was of higher rank than the other's. " Heh, reminds me a bit of Scotland." The creature cocked his head to the sight and squinted at the human.

"What's Scotland? And what are you?"