Coffee vs. Equestria

by aegishailstorm

Don't Run From Rednecks

"You live in a library?" Brandon asked Twilight with a raise of his hand. She glanced over at the others. "Yes? I mean, I used to live in Canterlot. I just moved here a little while ago." He shrugged, " Fair enough. Everyone's there at some point of their life. Well, I don't know about living in a library but I'm sure you get the point. " She nodded back.

"Guy's, guy's! I made a few new friends in the forest!" Angry waved down at the group from a nearby rooftop. Donut clutched his head. " What the hell are you doing?" Before the drill sergeant could provide a response he was tackled by a pair of griffons dressed in crude armor. Angry snatched one by the throat and threw him as hard as he could beak first into the ground below.

"Man, forgive me if I'm mistaken. They aren't acting like very good friends." Donut remarked with a voice full of sarcasm. Brandon and Garand both waved at Angry. " Should we help him?" They both shouldered their rifles, but didn't raise them fully. They wanted to wait and see if Angry could handle them alone. And, sure enough. The end result of their patience was a half dozen unconscious griffons and a drill sergeant content with his work. With the immediate threat over, he proceeded to slap one of his victims awake and begin feverishly questioning them.

---

"Is he... Ok?" Rainbow Dash asked the other humans, " Yeah, pretty much. You don't mess with Angry and get away with it unscathed. His personality is quite literally summed up in his name." Scott explained to Twilight, who was still in awe at the way Angry was berating the already traumatized griffons.

"Why are you here? Why did you attack me? Who sent you!? Tell me god damnit!" He raised one by the collar of it's armor. Needless to say, all the conflict had attracted quite a crowd. Fluttershy was among them. And she was most certainty not a fan of his methods. Now as far as Angry was concerned, she was entitled to her own opinion, though the yelling was a tad bit annoying.

"Ma'am, with all due respect. Could you please shut up? All you're gonna do is annoy him." She decided to leave them alone. Just as she began to leave, the griffon finally began answering Angry's questions. " Um... We were out on a hunting trip-" Angry laughed. " Hunting trip? Well, if you were on a hunting trip then there wouldn't have been any reason to attack me!"

"You picked me up by the throat!" The griffon sputtered out. "Oh yeah, than what's that patch on your armor?" Twilight spoke up from the back. " Hold on, I think I recognize it from an old book about the Griffon empire." Brandon raised his right hand.

"Does that mean there's more to this world then ponies?" Twilight nodded. " Yep, there's griffons, dragons, minitour's, diamond dog's, buffalo, yak's. The list goes on." He rubbed his eyes, "Good god, what have we gotten ourselves into. Donut?"

"Hey, don't ask me. They didn't tell me jack shit." He responded. Matt tapped on Twilight's shoulder, " Your friend's with this nation's leaders, correct?"

"Are you referring to Pincess Celestia and Princess Luna?" He nodded. It was then when Garand Thumb got an idea, " hey Angry, ask the griffon where the rest of his unit is stationed. Twilight raised an eyebrow. " What are you implying Mike?" She asked.

"The insignia on his armor is that of the griffon empire. So what else would he be doing in Equestrian territory?" The griffon blinked. " I don't know what you're talking about." Angry rolled his eyes. " Say's the overgrown bird who can't keep a straight face, please answer Mike's question. And we'll let you go."

"Wait... Really?"

"Sure." Brandon responded. " There's no reason to keep you here, so it's either we let you go. Or," He moved his thumb across his throat in a slashing motion. The creature on the ground understood Brandon's gesture perfectly.

"They're southwest of the Everfree forest." Angry crossed his arms, " Where southwest of the Everfree forest exactly?" The griffon looked at the rest of them. "You know what? I'm done with this!" The griffon rolled out of the way of Angry and took bounded over a building and down a side street. The humans' just stood there in utter silence, at last. Matt raised his hand. "Should we... Go after him?" Before anyone else could respond. Angry had already taken off.

" Twilight, we'll be back in a moment. Would you mind looking after these fool's while we chase after our friend?" Twilight nodded. " Don't worry, we can handle ourselves." Rainbow Dash touted, Mike and Donut fought to keep themselves from bursting into laughter. Matt and the BRCC member's just let it rip. But swiftly waved it off and continued on their way.

---

"Angry, man, wait up!!!" Brandon Herrera cried out, they were almost back to the trucks when they heard the distinct rumbling of a tank engine coming the the tree line.

" Guy's!?" He called out to the rest of the group. " Yeah, we hear it too. We didn't bring any armored vehicles through the rift!" Donut responded. Mike stopped to catch his breath for a moment. " Sure that couldn't be something else?"

Brandon scratched his head. "Nothing natural could make that noise. Damn, I the RPG at home. Hey, did anyone here bring any-"

"No, no we didn't!" Evan called back. The team watched as Angry franticly chased the escaping griffon down the dirt road leading out of town. Out of the forest emerged an M18 Hellcat tank destroyer. Which came to a grinding halt right before the griffon and the Drill Sargent. While the griffon froze in his track's to admire the steel behemoth, Angry tackled him once more. The driver's hatch opened. Revealing none other than... The other Matt, from Demolition Ranch. From the turret hatches emerged John Lovell and Lucas Botkin.

" Thought you needed help, we came as soon as we could!" John shouted. Lucas bounded down off the turret and clamped all 4 of the griffon's talon's, and both his wing's with zip ties. " Thanks, this griffon made off right in the middle of Angry's interrogation. Speaking of the Sargent, he wasn't too happy about the escape attempt.

"Now... Little one. Here's what's gonna happen, we're gonna tie you to the front of this here armored vehicle, and you're gonna lead our convoy to your camp. Is that understood?" Before the griffon could respond, John had already dismounted from the vehicle alongside Lucas and pinned the creature to the hull.

"Now, start squawking!" Angry yelled into his face.