Filly Eyes

by Betty_Starlight

Chapter 29: Intermission

I stare up at the sky with the burning stogie in my mouth on the left as I try to make out constellations as my vision fades in and out and I see the white lights of the twinkling stars form new shapes in my view as the earth pony continues to talk to me…

“Okay, so I guess you came from Cozy Glow, then?”

I inhale on the burning joint inside my mouth and feel the warm smoke travel down my throat and into my lungs… I hold the hit in as the lights above me continue to shine and I lay on my back… I just know she’s waiting for me to exhale and I’m just hoping I’ll have something to say to her when I finally do… I eventually exhale a cloud of smoke overhead and honestly reply, “I don’t know…”

“Wait! Twinkle? What do you mean, you don’t know?”

I sigh and bring the joint to my mouth again with my right forehoof, “I’m saying, I truly don’t know Little… That was a long time ago and I can’t really remember anymore… It kinda hurts when I try, actually!”

Little is silent for a moment, “Wait, what do you mean, hurts?”

“Well, I feel a sharp gnawing pain in the back of my mind, now! Almost as if I’m not supposed to go there? I always feel uncomfortable and I sometimes get a sinking feeling in my stomach… It’s hard to describe, but I really don’t like trying to remember anymore…” I say before pursing my lips to inhale another warm draw…*

Little is laying on her back staring into space on my left as she says, “Well uh, I’m sorry…”

I exhale smoke and ask, “For what?” before drawing again...

“That must be hard? Not remembering and stuff? I mean, that’s gotta suck!”

I giggle slightly, “Well, you get used to it!” before taking another drag as I feel warm ashes falling onto my chest fluff…

Little is silent for a moment, “So, it’s not a big deal, anymore?”

I exhale smoke and feel the drugs beginning to relax my mind as they seep in, “Gee, Little Snack! I’ve learned to cope! Give me more credit than that!” I say before pursing my lips on the half-joint to take another warm draw… My small pink body finally begins to relax and I feel tension being released from my shoulders…

“I-I’m sorry!” Little apologizes again as I exhale smoke and consider this in my mind… I then draw another hot intake down into my lungs and think carefully as I want more time now…

This filly remembers me as a good version of Cozy Glow, and yet, here I am! I’m still good, I realize, but I’m starting to wonder what the differences are? Ugh! This is so weird because this isn’t even the right dimension! I finally exhale a cloud of smoke overhead and ask, “Didn’t we agree earlier to start over?”

Little giggles, “Oh, yeah! That’s right! We did, didn’t we! Uh, won’t Izzy be worried about you, since you’re not over there?”

I giggle slightly, “I got a decoy! She won’t know the difference! I’ll just take a nap later in the morning after she starts crafting…” I say before pursing my lips…

“You’re both very sneaky, like that!”

I exhale, “Well, golly gee! We are the same filly! Well, sorta?” before taking the nub out of my mouth, moving my right hoof to my left side to snuff it out on the ground and stashing it for later in my chest floof…

“Well, she knows me and you don’t!”

I widen my eyes as they begin to focus on the starry sky above me, “Well, I know you exist?”

“Exactly! You just know the basics!”

“You know, hanging out with me is how I’ll get to know you better, right?”

I hear a small scratching in the grass to my left, “How? Hitch says we can’t be together anymore!”

“Hitch says a lot of things, Little Snack…”

Little is silent for a moment again, “You just don’t care, do you?”

I giggle, “Nope! And you’ll stop caring real fast if you want me to get to know you!”

Little is quiet before slowly saying, “Oh, gosh!”

I sigh again and begin to get up and adjust my body towards the earth filly as she does the same… I take note of the tree stump on my right on the hillside as I stare into her green eyes in the dim light of late night lights of Maretime Bay in the distance behind her, smile at her and say, “I’ll see you later, okay friend?”

Little smiles nervously and looks down to the right, “Yeah, it’s getting pretty late! I’d better head in now! You be safe uh, Twinkle Shine!”

I take two paces towards her and embrace her in a hug over my right shoulder as I whisper in her floppy left ear, “It’s gonna be okay, Little Snack… I promise!” before disengaging and turning my body northwest towards Bridlewood, squatting and taking off as my wings begin flapping and I feel the cool night breeze on my face and in my mane as I begin soaring over the darkened countryside…

I see hills and lush patches of vegetation in the darkness as I fly over the terrain and think to myself… Well, I got Little Snack to see that I’m not her enemy and now, I need only wait for Hitch to cool off before dealing with him again… And I got two roaches in my floof for later!

I land and climb up into my open window and am careful to gently land on the floor before standing up on my hooves and trotting to the light switch on the wall…

Later, I’m holding the lighter over the red metal pipe as it sits in my right forehoof and I squeeze my clefts together to ignite the flame… I inhale to bring the fire into the bowl, where it catches the two roaches sitting there, side by side where it ignites the paper and the herb underneath and I inhale and taste warm earthy smoke in my mouth once more as it makes its way to the back of my mouth…

Suddenly, my doorknob glows azure blue and it opens inward to the left to reveal an angry looking fluffy blue unicorn there who says in indignation “You went to go see Little Snack tonight, didn’t you?”

I exhale smoke before me and turn my head right to face the unicorn before smiling widely, “Why, what makes you say that, dear sweet mother?”

Izzy frowns, “Well, the pile of plushies you left to look like you were sleeping under the covers was a dead giveaway that you weren’t home! And so, where would you go that you wouldn’t want me to know about?” She raises her left eyebrow.

I sigh, “Well, if you must know, I was out at Smoke Stack’s, buying some more devil weed!” I motion my head towards the softball sized baggy at my left, “I got it right there, if you wanna blaze, mommy?”

Izzy corrects her mouth and blinks, “Well uh, okay! I know you smoke, so you know it’s okay to go to your dealer’s, right? Just don’t get caught on the street!”

I smile widely again, “You and I both know I can get out of that one!”

She smiles and nods as she snickers slightly, “Well, right!” she sighs. “I’ll roll us a king joint!”

<*****>

So a few minutes later, I see the fluffy blue unicorn with the long joint in her snout and glowing purple disposable lighter at the front, ready to strike and ignite it… I understand my situation is precarious, because I know I need for her to wait before calling Hitch about Little Snack, but I also know I can’t let her know just how well I’ve planned this out… And I certainly can’t let her know we’re still talking!

Before lighting, she says, “So uh, how you doing being Little Snack-less?” before firing the lighter and inhaling to bring the flame to the end…

I pout and throw my right forehoof out while saying disgruntled, “Golly, it sure is rotten that I can’t go to see poor Little Snack! I mean, she seemed like a nice filly and I sure wish I coulda got to know her better!”

Izzy exhales a cloud of smoke before her out her snout before saying out the right corner of her mouth, “Cut the bullshit, Twinkle! I know you better than that, you silly filly!” before clamping to take her second drag…

I chuckle nervously, “He he, yeah I guess you do, huh? Well, the truth is, she seemed really interested in getting to know me before the whole bank thing and I think Hitch is just acting too rashly, you know?”

Izzy exhales from her snout again, “You believe he’s overreacting then, correct Twinkle Sama?”

I raise my cleft as I know what happens next as the burning joint floats my way in an azure glow, “Well, golly yeah! I mean, we did protect other ponies!” before catching it and bringing it to my mouth to inhale…

Izzy smiles, “So Hitch feels like you fillies displaced him as protector of Maretime Bay! I mean,“her eyes raise, “somewhere in that noggin of his, he does?” she looks back at me. “Probably shouldn’t say that to him, though?”

I giggle slightly while letting smoke pour out of my mouth and stare at the unicorn, “Yeah! He wouldn’t like that!” before bringing the joint back to it with my right hoof…

Izzy continues, “Well, golly gee! You know, we probably need to at least get you two talking again, so Hitch can see this isn’t such a bad thing?”

I stutter-giggle as I exhale smoke in an extremely awkward fashion before looking at her, “Did you just say, golly gee?”

She grins wider, “I didn’t say, golly gee! Your mom said golly gee!”

She begins to giggle as I inhale to make the cherry glow and think to myself, she just gets weirder and weirder! as the ramifications of what she said dawn on me… I finally exhale smoke from my mouth and start as I say, “Hey! You are my mom!”

She smiles warmly, “I love you so much!”

<*****>

(One hour later…)

I stare at the blue unicorn while we both stand in Misty’s room, while the darker blue unicorn foal looks on from my left, “Mom, since when did you become a rule-breaker?”

She smiles and says, “Well, I’m not technically breaking any rules, here! I mean, Hitch didn’t actually say that you couldn’t send letters to Little Snack, now did he?”

I narrow my eyes, “You know? I think no more contact kinda implies that?”

She giggles, “Well, how do we know that’s what the rule actually meant, though? I mean, how can we know exactlywhat it means?”

I’m silent for a moment… “We’re both going to Tartarus, you know that?”

Izzy giggles back at me, “Well, Pony Satan has good dope!” before staring at Misty on her right who widens her eyes at the other unicorn. “Okay, so you know the plan, right? Give the letter to Little Snack, but do not let Hitch know you’re doing it!”

Misty narrows her eyes, “Isn’t this kinda under-hooved?”

Izzy widens her eyes, “Well, not technically! I mean, Hitch didn’t explicitly say that we were to let him know about clandestine communications, now did he?”

Misty turns her neck right towards me and nods, “Yeah! We’re definitely going to Tartarus!”

I stare up at Izzy with wide curious eyes… “Um, Izzy! Will you be reading this?”

She turns to me and widens her cherry eyes, “What? No! Of course not! This is private, between just you and Little Snack! I’d never do that, sweetie!”

And at that moment, I finally did the impossible… I actually believed her!

(One hour later, I write down...)

Dear, Little Snack

Meet me at the tree stump north of Maretime Bay at 7 in two days time. We need to get Hitch to change his mind.

Sincerely,

Twinkle Shine

<*****>

(The next morning...)

I see the orange earth filly next to her disheveled bed with its green blankets thrown over and various toys all over the room floor… She widens her eyes as she holds the piece of paper in her right forehoof, “You know, I don’t even wanna say gosh anymore! Oh, golly! Um, “she looks up at me. “Can you keep a secret?”

I smile as I’m not sure how to answer that immediately and start when I realize there was a golly in what she just said, “Uh, y-yeah Little Snack! What is it?”

Little sighs and looks at me with her green eyes, “I’ve been talking to Twinkle Shine behind Hitch and everypony’s back…” and blinks…

I widen my eyes, “Oh, I already knew that!” and lie through my teeth!

Little enlarges her pupils, “Oh, great! Now, you just need to explain that to Twinkle Shine when I meet her in two days! That way, we can all work on a plan to change Hitch’s mind!”

I frown when I suddenly wonder what I’ve gotten myself into…

<*****>

(Two hours after that…)

I timidly wrap on the red door with my right forehoof, TAP TAP TAP!

“Come in!” I hear a familiar squeaky voice say from the other side…

I widen my eyes and use blue magick to open the door inward to the left and cautiously begin trotting into the danger zone…

I see Twinkle there on her haunches with her back laid against a pillow and a blue book wedged in her hind hooves as she reads it… She looks up at me, “Oh, hiya Misty! What’s happening?”

I stare directly at her and say, “I know you’ve been talking to Little Snack…”

Her eyes widen, “Oh, that’s just swell Misty!”

I frown, “It is?”

She nods, “Yup! Cause now you get to meet us at the stump later and we get to make a plan!”

My eyes widen when I realize that I’m in deeper now! “What?”

<*****>

(Two days later...)

I sigh as I wonder what all of my friends are up to? I stare down at my new journal that Sunny got for me. She said it would be good for me to write down my thoughts… I write:

Dear, journal

It’s been days now and I still haven’t seen Twinkle Shine or Little Snack. I’m starting to wonder what they’re up to, but Misty did just stop by and tell me that everything was gonna be fine and so that just makes me wonder even more! I think I should go see Little Snack after dinner!

(1 hour later)

I’m trotting towards Hitch’s house as I know that’s where Little Snack is now staying… I approach the blue rectangular building and I can’t help but notice a small orange earth filly climbing out the window behind it! I quickly trot around the right side to see Little Snack there, landing on her hooves with a small grunt to my left and she immediately starts and turns her head right to see me there maybe 10 feet from her as we both stood behind the building… “Uh, hiya Jessi! What’s happening?”

I turn my neck towards her and smile, “You’re gonna go see Twinkle Shine, aren’t you?”

She gulps, “Well, kinda, yeah?”

I giggle, “Alright Little! Lead the way! Let’s go see Twinkle Shine!”

I faintly hear her say, “_{Oh, golly!}” under her breath…

I widen my eyes, “What was that, Little?”

Her eyes enlarge all the way, “Uh, nothing! Twinkle Shine! Yes! We need to go see Twinkle Shine right now!”

(10 minutes after that…)

We’re both trotting out the North gate to Maretime Bay and we both travel underneath the rusty metal awning as I stare at the orange earth filly trotting on my right, “So uh, you ready?”

She quietly responds, “Ready for what?” while staring blankly ahead as we trot…

We’re both trotting along the dirt path out of town and neither of us really see any ponies as the sun sets on our right to throw cascades of orange light across the side of our vision and I avert my gaze forward, “To see Twinkle Shine?”

She starts and says, “Sure!” before adding, “_{Oh, golly!}” under her breath…

I ponder on this for a moment as we continue to trot and we see a wooden four-wheeled cart pulled by a gruff looking brown stallion pass us on the left as we continue to head north, “You got Twinkle Shine on your brain a lot, don’t you?”

She giggles slightly, “That obvious, huh?”

“Yeah, kinda!”

She sighs, “Well, she’s so much like um, that other filly I used to know and I really want to hang out and get to know her, you know? But well, Hitch said I’m not supposed to and now I’m doing this behind his back…”

“Are you nervous?”

She sighs, “That obvious?”

I’m silent for a moment… “You’re not very good at hiding your emotions…”

We begin to travel up a hillside and I wonder what’s on the other side as Little admits, “Well, not really, no!”

We’re almost at the crest before I finally reassure her, “Well, that’s okay too Little Snack! We’ll get you all sorted out!”

And as we reach the top, we both see a small pink pegasus filly on the other side standing to the left of a dark blue unicorn on the other side of a tree stump as she stands on three hooves and puffs a joint with her right forehoof… Misty turns her green eyes to us as Twinkle exhales smoke before her and to our left before turning her head to us, “Oh golly, that’s just swell! That Squad is all here!”

We stop just 10 feet shy of her as I once again hear the earth filly on my right mumble, “_{Oh, golly!}”

<*****>

(Meanwhile…)

I can tell this unicorn came to talk about Twinkle Shine and Little Snack… Although I’m now wondering what this strange herbal tea is that I’m now sipping with her. It has a very flowery taste and the honey gives it a nice balanced flavor… I sip the tea with my magick once more while staring into her red eyes as she says, “Twinkle Shine really wants to play with Little Snack, but now we need to get Hitch to see that that’s okay!”

I nod, “Well, obviously!” when I can’t help but notice a faint smirk on the fluffy unicorn’s face…

She nods as well, “Okay, so how are we gonna do that?”

I frown, “I’m not sure? I mean, Hitch believes Twinkle is dangerous, right?”

Izzy sighs to the side, “Yeah…”

“So shouldn’t we get him to change his mind?”

Izzy looks up at me and smiles again faintly, “Right! Change his mind…”

I eye this strange unicorn carefully and eventually say, “Izzy! Are you okay? You’re acting kinda weird.”

She adjusts her crimson gaze to me and says in all sincerity with a straight face, “Well, I’m better now that you’re here…”

I frown again, “What’s that supposed to mean?”

She smiles warmly at me and takes two paces towards me and stops a mere few inches from my face and I can now feel her warm breath on my neck as she says, “It would probably be better if I just showed you?” before kissing me tenderly on my lips…

(To be continued…)

Author's Note:

*I truly don’t know if that’s typical or not, but whenever I try to think back to my life before now and my transition, it does kinda hurt in my mind and what little I can recall just continues to get blurrier and blurrier… By this stage, I’m convinced that for whatever reason, those memories have to leave and I’ll be left here, a hollow shell… Dark confession: I often don’t feel “complete” or like I’m a “whole person” anymore, because of my amnesia… At the same time, I can think of many good reasons to forget, so it’s dubious at best… My childhood is so far away and I feel like I lost valuable pieces of myself…