Ah Heck, Here We Go Again...
"Man, another shift done," Sunset said in relief just as she left the mall.
She walks to the parking lot for her car; she enters her vehicle, starts the engine, and carefully drives in reverse to be out of the parking position between two cars. And then she drives her way out of the parking lot and then turns right and drives down the street back to her neighborhood.
It was already 9 in the night, but Sunset was already tired. The sky is clear and all the star consolations can easily be seen up there. All the lights inside the buildings were still on, while some were off. Either the people in those buildings, houses, or apartment buildings are still awake or were asleep by now.
But as she enjoys the scenery of driving into the night sky through the empty street, a very familar van from around the corner slowly followed her.
Sunset stopped at the red light. She's getting sleepy as a single second count, she had along day during this day. Working at the Sushi place is tough, but the money is worth it after all. And besides, tomorrow is Sunday, just one day for the break with her friends and then they will have another tough week in school. The van that was following her parked in parallel parking in between two parked cars, so Sunset won't suspect it.
After a minute of waiting, the light turns green, Sunset turns the stick shift to drive mode, and she drives forward. Sunset yawned tiredly. Once she gets home, she will have a quick shower and a good nap. But you know what? Screw it, she'll just skip the shower and go to sleep instead. As she is thinking about an image of her bed, being a little tempting to get some sleep soon, the van continues to tail her from such a distance.
After 4 minutes of driving, Sunset made it home. She parked the car in her parking spot in front of her house and she turns off the engine and exits the vehicle. Sunset fishing for her key in her satchel, she picks it up and inserts the key into the doorknob. After twisting the door to unlock it, Sunset pulls the key out and puts it back in her satchel and she went inside.
Her pet Ray was sleeping peacefully in his own happy place. Sunset can't help but chuckle. She makes sure the door was locked and changed into her pajamas. After that, Sunset lies down on her bed with a long, tired sigh. Finally! A good night's sleep! And tomorrow, she will have another perfect day with her friends.
......
An hour later, three shadow figures stared directly at Sunset's house, smiling menacingly, knowing what to do.
"You got the sack that we're gonna need to carry her?" The figure in the middle, who apparently was the leader of this group, demanded her two lackeys.
The figure on the right nodded, carrying a sack, "I got it,"
"And the hairpin we need to break into her house?" The leader asked the one on the left.
The figure on the left holds a hairpin. "I got it! This should be fun!"
The leader smirk. "Good, and I got a gag with a sleeping dose on it. As usual, when we get to her, I gag her and she passes out to the effects. You put her in the big sack. And if she's in her house and the door was locked, we wait until night, and that's where you come in and use the hairpin to get us in. Now, let's get to business.
Hours later....
"Wakey, wakey, sleepy head...." a familiar voice said. Very menacing at the same time.
Sunset startled awake. Her hair was messy, her eyes were half-open. "W-what?!" She looked around and found herself in a dark room. She felt something tight on her left wrist. She turned to her left to see a handcuff tied her wrist to a bed she's in.
"Wait, what?!" Sunset cries out in shock, struggling a little to get the handcuff off of her wrist.
"Surprise," she turned to her front, and the lights went on, and much to her dismay, the three figures were Adagio, Aria Blaze, and Sonata.
Sunset groans in annoyance. She seems not so threatened by the situation she's in. To be clear, a few months ago, Sunset got herself in this situation before. She's been constantly kidnapped by the Dazzlings. However, every time they did so, Sunset miraculously escapes. Some other times, her friends came and saved her while the Dazzlings were already away. In fact, this is the 55th time this year Sunset herself got captured by the same people, being kidnapped by the same people is getting old, annoying, and predictable in her favor.
Sunset glared at the Dazzling leader with annoyance, "You know, this kidnapping is getting annoying Adagio. Especially if the same person you're constantly going after."
"We may kidnap you many times," Adagio said menacingly, approaching Sunset, leaning towards her a little, "And you may escape from us too many times, but this time we'll make sure you never escape again. I planned everything out to keep you occupied for much longer."
"Oh, but don't worry!" Sonata added, smiling. "We won't keep you here longer. All we need to know where is the portal to Equestria is, then you're good." she picked up a plate full of tacos. "And if you're hungry, we got you tacos!"
Aria ignored her childish sister and said, "Just tell us where is the portal," her glares hardened. "Now."
Sunset scoffed, "And why should I?" Sunset replied sarcastically, "Why should I when you kidnapped me so many times just for that question? Don't you know it's pretty obvious I would never tell a thing? Hell, I don't even have to worry about my life here if I don't comply."
"Drat," Adagio grumbled, her eyes filled with frustration. But she keeps her head cool but keeps her glare on Sunset. "You know what, honey? I'm getting tired to get information out of you, so we're just gonna hit the sack, but later morning, we're going to deal with you," But then she noticed Sunset was staring at her torso, knowing exactly what she's staring, "Hey! I see you're staring at my boobs!" She blushed madly. "Just stop!"
"I never thought your nice" pillows" are getting bigger, Adagio," Sunset smirked at her.
Now Adagio gets flustered, and her face turns red. "Just stop that, you weirdo!"
"No, I won't," Sunset replied with a cheeky grin and a teasing tone. "Speaking of which, why am I the only one you're after?" Her face shifted into a glare.
"Sweetie, your friends are a lost cause since they were never born in Equestria," Adagio answered. "But you are. You must know where the portal is."
"I wouldn't dream of it," Sunset told her, her face shifted into a smirk again. "In fact, if you take your time here trying so desperately getting information out of me, I can just stare at your tits as long as I like!"
Adagio madly blushed than earlier. "Enough!" she growled at her. "Anyway, I and the girls will get some sleep. So get yourself comfortable, honey."
When the girls left Sunset alone in this room. Sunset looked over her left hand with a handcuff on her wrist, being kidnapped again by the same three people. Sunset knew what to do. Since her phone was back at her house, she can't call her friends like those other few times where she got stuck in this situation before. She always planned if something like this happens again. She used her right hand to get something in her hair, something small.
She pulled out a hairpin from underneath her bacon hair; she inserts the pin into the handcuff, after a little of time and focus, she finally unlocks the handcuff, freeing her left wrist. Now, all she has to do now is get out of this place and make a run for it. She went for the door, but it was locked. She tries using her hairpin, but she ended up breaking it in half, cursing herself for breaking her only escape item. She turns around at the window. It's obviously locked as well but Sunset will have an idea.
She turns to her left to see a chair, a lightbulb turns on in Sunset's head. She grabs the chair and throws it into the window, shattering it into pieces. Sunset leaps into the window and lands smoothly on her feet, and next in her mind tells her to do, is to run. Run for it!
She looked around the neighborhood to see that the sun was rising. It's already 6 in the morning?! Sunset thought, surprised. Doesn't matter, I have got to get going before the girls see me like this!
Sunset makes a break for it from the Dazzling's house. Good thing, there are no cars driving around this late in the morning, so Sunset won't have trouble running on the road if she has to. She ran and ran for three minutes without stopping for a breather.
She ran and ran and ran until she can't run anymore. Sunset eventually stop and she was panting hard. She was sweating hard as well. She spent the next minute catching her breath. While she was regaining her oxygen, she looks around her surroundings and she looks to her right to see that she was already at the Sweet Apple Acres. Crap! Knowing Applejack, she should be awake during this late in the morning. Sunset has to run now if she doesn't want to be seen by her friend. If she could just take another 30 seconds to rest a little, and then...
"Sunset? It's that yah?" Nope. Too late.
Sunset hit a hard nerve to her stomach the moment she hears her friend's voice. She hesitantly turned to her right to see Applejack by the porch with a broom in her hands.
"What are yer doing running during this late in the morning with yer PJ's on while it looked like yer running on a marathon?"
Sunset nervously smiles at her, "Wouldn't you believe me if I tell you?" she tries to shrug.
Applejack's concern on her face turns into one of strict. She places her hands on her hips as she stares directly at Sunset with her eyes hardened. "Sunset, tell me the truth."
Sunset sighs in defeat. There's no point in hiding this from her friend soon. "Okay, look. I got kidnapped again by the Dazzlings," Sunset carefully explained to her. Whenever she gets kidnapped by the Dazzlings again, the girls went and act like moms to her, and this is exactly why she doesn't want her friends to know she got kidnapped again. It drove her crazy when her friends were babying Sunset. She saw Applejack's worried expression in one of rage. Now Sunset has to calm her down even though her friend is always been stubborn, "I made it back in one piece!" Sunset immediately explained, "I'm fine!"
"Sunset, this is another time where they kidnapped yah!" Applejack shouted, breaking her broom in half, and approached her with a half worry half-angry look on her face.
"Actually, if you lost count," Sunset carefully but hesitantly tried to correct her, "I'm kind of been kidnapped 55th times."
"See what ah mean?!" Applejack retorted, "Sunset, how could yah let this happen to yah many times?!"
"I don't know!" Sunset shouted back. "I was just minding my business. I mean, I knew I should've been more aware, but I can't only always be paranoid and not to live normally every once in a while."
"That doesn't help!" Applejack yelled at her but realized what she had just done. Her face softened. "I'm sorry for yelling at you, but this is getting way out of hand. Every time they kidnapped you, we got so scared something bad happens to you and this time we might not save you! How long they have kept you?!"
"Well," Sunset immediately answered. "not that long, literally. It was not long when I woke up to find myself in their house. I had a long shift at my workplace, and when I drifted to sleep, the skanks must have taken their chance and kidnapped me in my sleep. However, the moment they left me in a dark room, I easily found my escape. Now I'm Here."
Hearing that makes Applejack shocked. Her eyes widen, her blood goes colder than ever. That does it, it's time to do something about this.
"You're right, Applejack, this needs to be resolved," Twilight said determinedly, "Once and for all."
The girls were gathered in Rainbow's house, Applejack explained the situation to the girls, and especially how many times this year Sunset gets kidnapped by the Dazzlings.
"But girls," Sunset protested, "I'm fine, really "
"Don't say that you're fine!" Rainbow interrupted her, she looks very stern than before. "Don't say that your situation with the Dazzlings becomes annoying and predictable and you always got away." That doesn't help when you got kidnapped so many times!"
"But one thing I don't understand is why Sunset?" Rarity wonders. "Why is she what those brutes were always after?"
"Well, it is because since I'm from Equestria, that makes me a valuable target for them. Since they wanted to go back and do the takeover, they want to know where the portal is," Sunset explained. "But, being kidnapped by the same trio again, I would never, no matter what they do. In fact, I always enjoyed staring at Adagio's breasts."
Now that got the girls creeped out by the last part, Twilight immediately changes the subject, clearing her throat and said, "Well knowing how many times Sunset got herself in this situation, we can conclude that she's no longer safe in the outside world, especially since she was alone without us to protect her. Even though we tried making sure she's in safe hands, the Dazzlings still strike and get her."
"Babying me is not how you protect me," Sunset corrected her, but Twilight doesn't take that consideration really well.
"No," Twilight said stubbornly, "This can't keep going like this. Sunset Shimmer, from now on, we will make sure you are safe than we did a while back. And that means you should never stay out of our sights for 24/7!"
The rest of the girls nodded in agreement, Sunset terribly sighs. Being treated like a kid by her own friends was driving her to insanity, and it will become worse when they will try extra, extra, extra measures to keep her safe. And mothering her if they have to.
"So, Sunset," Twilight told her sternly. "From now on, you're staying with us 24/7 and you must never be out of our sights. In fact, I have my own ideas on how to ensure your safety."
"Ooh, ooh, me too!" Pinkie Pie chimed in. "I have ideas!"
"I've met some meanest animals in the wild," Fluttershy added. "They'll help to protect you."
"And since you can't help being kidnapped," Rainbow told her. "I can make sure they are no kidnappers, sniper assassins, or anyone who's out to get you. Believe me."
"Woah, Woah, Woah," Sunset quickly objected, waving her hands. "Look girls, I know you mean well but I can't keep you all from your homes."
"Oh relax, darling," Rarity told her. "We will arrange sleepovers each day, and later tonight, we'll have a sleepover at your place."
"This is for yer own good, Sunset," Applejack said sternly. "You'll be well secured until we deemed it's safe for yer to be yer own again! We will make sure you won't get kidnapped for the 56th time this year!"
"Yeah!" Pinkie cheered. "What she said!"
Sunset sighs. The girls were now more overprotective than ever? Can things get any worse?"
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You might want to look over and proofread this there are a few minor mistakes made.
How would her being alone made her safer? Her case proved it's the opposite. Well, not really in danger, but it made it easier for her to get kidnapped.
I mean you could tell twilight to set a trap then tell the dazzlings and have Twilight get rid of them for good. Oh, right comedic fic never mind.
Victim blaming Rainbow? Not that Sunset is really much of a victim, but you know what I mean.
11122875
Well, for the first part, what Twilight means is that she and girls have to provide Sunset the most complex security they could ever have. Like she said, Sunset is in a vulnerable position whenever she's alone.
Well, the girls never thought about that, but if they did tell Princess Twilight about it, then this story would be resolved quickly. I'm intentionally aiming this story where the girls will have to do resolve this problem with Sunset themselves, making them all overprotective over her and being like a mother figure is an interesting idea I like to make.
Well, knowing Rainbow Dash, ofc she would said that. And again, expect more of boob jokes.
Why doesn't Sunset just kidnap the Sirens?....Well adagio mostly.
11122890
Obviously, Sunset is not like that. Even when she's a bully in the past, she'll never went as far as kidnapping someone. The problem is that she always got herself kidnapped too many times by the Dazzlings.
11122883
The problem is "even when she's alone" implies, she is actually safer alone, despite what you and Twilight wanted to covey maybe change it to "especially since she was alone without us to protect her".
Yeah, I tend to take fics seriously when reading and analyzing them, That was me making my own bad joke about it. I will give you that one.
This character did something wrong. Relax It's ok and you can't call them out if it's in character for them to do it. At least have Sunset call her out since she seems to be the voice of reason in this fic. She seems too accepting of all of this. I understand it must for this silly plot to happen, but you can still have the girls outnumber her and still do it despite her insistence and simply have a part of the humor be Sunset poking fun at how ridiculous this all is and their overbearing attempts at preventing something that is only a recurring minor annoyance at best.
When I first read the boob joke disclaimer after reading the title, the first thing that came to my mind was a de-aged Sunset being coddled by the others and yes it did involve their breasts. My mind is kind of weird sometimes, though I partly blame you for this.
11122899
Number 1 problem is fixed.
Number 2, oh don't worry about it, if you're making a fanfic, just do what you do, I get it.
Number 3, yeah, I know Sunset was the voice of reason I can see her being so insistent on what her friends are gonna do, although you haven't see more of what I have planned.
Number 4, about the breast jokes. Sunset and the girls were like 18 something, something. It's okay if you don't like breast jokes, I don't blame you but I just want to add this joke for the humor of this story.
11122916
I have no problem with breasts jokes. The ones so far are terrible, but I don't mind them. Yeah, I just took the title too literally I guess lol. If you want to turn Sunset into a boob obsessed lesbian or whatever go ahead, I don't care.
11122921
Okay. For Sunset, she just likes breasts, but not 100% obsessed with breasts, she'll only make breast jokes just fot the fun of it.
This is not a bad start; it’s actually really promising. However, you need to fix your tenses problem. You tend to switch between past in the present, sometime within the same paragraph. Case in point:
I’m pretty sure ‘changes’ and ‘said’ are different points in time.
But other that, I like it.
11122937
Huh, well thanks for pointing that out. I've been using Grammarly lately, and I guess it's not 100% guarantee but I still used it nonetheless.
11122939
That’s okay. All you need to do is read through your story once before and after you publish it. Stick to one tense. Generally speaking, stories like this one use the past.
That's look like interesting
11123031
Glad you enjoyed it 🙂
This is honna get good, bet that Sunset would surrender herself to the Dazzlings to escape from their overly protective friends
Good story premise so far, but I think you need a proofreader or something
Can't wait for more!
11123523
I have Grammarly, although sometimes it's not 100% guaranteed, but thanks for reading.
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their are 52 weeks in a year
that means that she got kidnap more then ones a week