Category 0 - Below 74 mph
“And it’s safe?” Princess Cadance asked, glaring blearily at the snowglobe floating before her in an aura of warm crimson magic. Inside, a tiny model of the Crystal Empire was caught in a perpetual snowstorm, and a tiny, very angry black figure stood in the courtyard of the plastic castle, shouting foul curses to the heavens that didn’t escape the hoof-sized bauble.
“Sure,” I shrugged. I gave the snowglobe a firm shake, sending Sombra tumbling to his knees. Was it cruel? Yes. Absolutely. I had a reputation to maintain. “It’s a flawless diamond. You could throw this thing right off the top of the castle and not even crack it.”
Cadance breathed a sigh of relief and pulled me into an unexpected hug. It was a good thing diamond was unbreakable, because I dropped the stupid thing when she did it, and it hit the ground and rolled across the room until Shining Armor stopped it with a hoof.
“Thank you so much, Sunset.” Cadance groaned with total exhaustion and the hug turned into me holding up most of her weight. “This whole mess has been utterly exhausting.”
“I’m just glad you called me,” I said, shifting my stance so my weight was on my good side. “You have no idea how boring it gets around the palace.”
“It just seemed more like a Sunset Shimmer problem than a Twilight problem,” Shining Armor said. “No offense, but I don’t like throwing my sister into danger. As a big brother, I’d rather have her doing friendship lessons that don’t involve ancient evil.”
He walked over and I helped hoof Cadance over to him. He let her lean into him, and because this was Cadance we were talking about of course she took the opportunity to kiss his cheek and neck him a little. This still technically counted as their honeymoon, I think.
“Give her some credit, she keeps saving the world,” I joked. “I think you could have held him off if you had a few decent soldiers.”
“I would have needed a legion, but sure,” Shining Armor allowed. “The problem is, there’s a word for marching a legion of your troops into another country.”
“Good thing I told the customs officer I was here for sightseeing and not as part of a military action,” I snorted. “Do you want me to take the little dork with me?”
“No, we’ll keep him here,” Shining Armor said. “It might do the Crystal Ponies some good if they see him like this.”
I nodded. Made sense to me. The best way to get over your fear was to see it crushed underhoof and dance on its grave.
“Why don’t you spend the night?” Cadance asked. “It’s getting pretty late.”
I shook my head. “It’s no big deal. There’s still a late train and--”
“Yes,” said the pony behind me. I rolled my eyes and looked over my shoulder at Shahrazad. The Saddle Arabian Princess-in-Exile was wrapped up in layers of blankets and furs and still looked cold. “We graciously accept your offer, especially if there’s a warm room, possibly with a very large fire and none of that… what was it called? Snow?”
“You’ve seen snow before!” I said, a little more harshly than needed. She was one of the most beautiful ponies in the world, and the sorrow on her face when I snapped at her was like the sea crying for the tide, like rain falling on a fallen oak, a thing of terrible primal loss and unearthly beauty and darnit she was making me have poetic thoughts again.
“Please, beloved? I am just so cold and tired from all this travel and the battle…”
I groaned. “Do you have a guest room?” I asked. I didn’t want to make this even more awkward by putting Cadance out of her bedroom. Or worse, being in the same room as a couple that had very recently gotten married and was starting to get touchy-feely right in front of me despite the fact that I could see them right there and no one was going to stop them or say anything because that would make it even worse.
“I’m sure the Crystal Ponies won’t mind getting another room ready for one of the ponies that saved the Empire,” Cadance assured me.
“A room with two beds,” I specified.
“Beloved!” Shahrazad gasped. “I did not think you were into that sort of thing! How indecent!”
“What?” I blinked rapidly. “What are-- I’m talking about sleeping in separate beds!”
“Ah, so you don’t mean…” she leaned in and whispered what she’d meant. It took almost a minute to explain, and I was left with almost as many questions as answers. My cheeks and ears both burned red.
“You know what?” I said, strained. “Separate rooms entirely. That would be best. On opposite ends of the palace.”
“But then you couldn’t protect me from assassins!” Shahrazad whined.
“If you get assassinated tonight, I’ll apologize profusely,” I said firmly. “Separate rooms!”
I lost the argument because even if I could maintain the willpower to say no to her, the servants in the palace were woefully underequipped to deal with it. She was manipulative and said the kind of sweet things that were just impossibly effective with ponies who were traumatized by tyrannical rule and would do anything for even a hint of kindness.
There were two beds in the room, at least, and we didn’t do any of what she’d implied might happen. She wasn’t really interested anyway unless she thought she could use it to manipulate me, and that meant teasing and never actually tail.
Not that I would have done anything even if she’d asked. Not because I wasn’t attracted to her, Shahrazad could seduce a boulder if she set her mind to it. I was just exhausted. I didn’t want to admit anything in front of Cadance, but defeating an ancient evil was the kind of thing to really tucker a pony out.
“We’re not staying for the festivities?” Shahrazad asked. Considering we were on a train leaving the Empire for Canterlot, she was really asking why and not if.
“I’m not a festivities type of pony,” I said. I tried to get comfortable on the train seat. Even first-class wasn’t all that great, though it did get us a private cabin.
“You should take credit where it is due, beloved. False modesty does not fit you well.” Shahrazad sighed.
“I was worried if we’d stayed longer you would have tried to overthrow the government,” I said flatly.
“I would never! It’s far too cold for my taste,” Shahrazad said defensively. “Of course you could have easily dispatched them had you wished, and claimed a land of your own…”
“I can’t believe this isn’t the first time I’ve had to tell you that I don’t want to overthrow a nation.” I sighed and watched the fireworks over the Empire. There were crystal ponies celebrating in the streets. There had been even before we’d left, but the party must have really been getting started now.
“Sunset Shimmer, please, look at it logically,” Shahrazad said, her voice losing some of the seductive edge and sliding into the tone she used when she was actually being serious. “They have no ruler. You personally defeated the tyrant that ruled their nightmares and locked them away from the world for a thousand years. You could have just declared yourself Empress, and they would have bowed before you!”
“Princess Cadance--”
“Couldn’t,” Shahrazad said, cutting me off.
“She’s the rightful ruler, not me,” I said dismissively.
“Why? Because of her cutie mark?” Shahrazad scoffed. “Cutie marks aren’t everything. You deserve more. It is… frustrating to see you walk away from this.”
“Would you really want to stay here?” I asked quizzically. “In the middle of the frozen waste? Where even in the warmest parts of the castle you were complaining about the chill?”
I watched her chew on that for a few moments. “No,” she allowed, though she sounded bitter about it. “But you still deserved more than a pat on the back and being told you did a good job.”
“I’m sure she’ll send a gift basket once she’s settled in,” I sighed, turning away from the window. Shahrazad’s mood had started to infect me and now I didn’t even want to see the celebration from a distance. “If she’s not too busy.”
“Oh, there you are!” Celestia said, looking around the corner of a bookcase. “I was worried you might have gotten caught in a bookvelanche.”
I blinked and looked around the Archive shelves around us. “Does that happen often?”
“It’s been a long time since I cleaned out the restricted section,” Celestia said. “Last time, well, we’re not sure if it was an accident or some kind of necromancy that we interrupted, but--”
“I get the picture,” I said, holding up a hoof to stop her. “You know, necromancy aside I’m not sure why some of this is even in here. Like, look at this.”
I held up a scroll I’d found.
“This is just a proof showing that the square root of two is an irrational number. There’s no evil magic, no hidden meaning, not even anything written in the margins. I’ve seen this same proof in textbooks! In grade school!”
“Ah, yes,” Celestia said, her cheeks turning just slightly pink. “This is a good time for a history lesson, Sunset. There’s a reason why that was shelved in the restricted section. You see, ponies died because of that scroll.”
I looked at it and frowned. “I didn’t think academia was that cutthroat.”
“It was back in the days of Old Unicornia,” Celestia said. “They were pretending to be in a golden age, but really they just stopped innovating. The rest of the world was passing them by, and when a burgeoning earth pony empire sprang up next door and produced scholars, they tried to ignore them.”
“That’s really not so different from unicorns today,” I said. “I don’t know if you’ve noticed the demographics of Canterlot--”
“The wizards of Old Unicornia,” Celestia continued, speaking over me. “Were shocked when they saw this simple proof. They believed that all numbers could be expressed as fractions. They’d believed it for hundreds of years, and hadn’t tried testing the belief. And so, enlightened, they invited the scholar who discovered the proof to their highest court.”
“And fostered understanding between ponies?” I guessed.
“No, they had him executed for spreading lies and confusion among the youth. Then they had this proof censored and banned.”
“Oh.” I frowned and looked over it again. “So why is it here?”
“Because when I first built the Archives, some of my librarians were very traditional. Anyway, this kind of thing is exactly why I need to clean this place out more often. Or appoint somepony to do the job full-time.”
She raised her eyebrows and looked at me significantly.
“Don’t even try it,” I warned. “I’d use the power for evil. That’s a promise.”
Celestia sighed. “But it’s… your sort of thing, isn’t it?”
“I can think of another one of your students that would be very excited to organize library shelves,” I pointed out.
Celestia looked away with an expression like I’d given her a lemon to suck on.
“I was hoping this would be something you’d enjoy. You used to ask me all the time to go and look at the restricted section of the archives…”
I felt a headache coming on. Celestia wasn’t wrong. I’d just gotten my fill of ancient texts when I was squatting in the Everfree castle with nopony to tell me not to look at the dark magic tome too closely or I’d go blind. Which I had, for almost a week. I’d eventually figured out how to bypass the defensive wards, and it had been extremely disappointing to learn it was more like a teenage sorceress’ edgy diary than a real spellbook.
Come to think of it, I’d have to track down where it went after I threw it into the woods in frustration.
I gave Celestia a smile. She was starting to look depressed and that was just unfair because I was the only one allowed to mope around the palace.
“How about we cast some disguise spells and go do something irresponsible?” I suggested. “I heard Hayburger Princess has a new Caramel Apple Big Bite Burger.”
Celestia very delicately did not lick her lips. I knew how she felt about food at the palace. It was designed to look beautiful and be as expensive and decadent as possible. It usually ended up as sculpted grey paste with a flower on it somewhere.
“What about all these archive documents?” Celestia asked. “We have to do something with them.”
I shrugged. “Let’s send them to Twilight. She loves sorting things. I think I saw a scroll from Star Swirl in there somewhere. That’ll keep her happy and busy for weeks.”
The crowds of cheering ponies outside went wild when she passed overhead on lavender wings.
“I can’t believe I sent her that scroll,” I hissed through a smile.
“Beloved--” Shahrazad started.
“I’m very happy for her!” I snapped.
“I can tell,” Shahrazad said. “You have reminded me of that many times. And you practiced saying it in the mirror.”
“I’m thinking of taking a vacation,” I decided. It wasn’t a lie because I was thinking of it right now. “Somewhere outside of Equestria. How’s Griffonstone this time of year?”
“I have absolutely no idea,” Shahrazad admitted.
“Perfect. Start packing things. I want it to be a surprise.”
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… hahahahahahaha
Oh sweet Gaia! That ending and Sunset's response was beyond priceless. I'm surprised that she didn't teleport off somewhere far away from civilization and give future generations questions about why there were several Tunguska level explosions in short succession in such a small area.
Also, Sombra being in that snow globe is an entirely appropriate punishment for him.
The story continues! Excellent!
A truly wonderful beginning of the story, Sunset's reaction to the events of that scroll were perfect as was Sombra's fate. She's starting to see other's destinies uncoil while she, despite being around longer than Twilight or Cadance, has grown but otherwise languishes without such fulfillment. I'm also curious how Shahrazad will be as a foil instead of a hidden antagonist in this story.
If this is anything like the last two installments, we're in for an incredible tale once more (I'm glad I just re-read them a few months back now). Thank you for continuing this series!
I'm both amused and feeling bad for Sunset.
Quality writing.
I’m kind of shocked Celestia allows Sunset to remain around such a theoretically corrupting influence without doing something to lay down the law.
So, Shahrazad is still hanging around in Equestria, instead of being shipped back to face her crimes in Saddle Arabia, and she is still maintaining the fiction that she's Sunset's betrothed/beloved. I have to assume this is one of Celestia's convoluted schemes.
i.imgur.com/boYG4He_d.png
Sunset tries to supress her envy since she's genuinely happy for Twilihgt but is afraid of the same things as when she went to to Saddle Arabia in the Witch of Canterlot.
11066167
badword
)* she likely just keeps using that as her default way of referring to Sunset and is unlikely to be mean in any truly sincere way. At this point I'm willing to bet it's basically just a pet name.
Technically it's not fiction as she did propose and Sunset did, if unwittingly, accept and would remain as such until Sunset gets around to calling it off. Not to mention the simple fact that as a manipulative *(
As to deporting anyone anywhere that is never that simple. More so when any form of royalty/leadership of a country is involved. If she came here in what was claimed to be a diplomatic sense then this could well give her a form of diplomatic immunity. It could also be that Saddle Arabia is more than happy to keep this idea going as it would mean far less trouble for them than trying to deal with the very messy situation of the daughter of the ruling royal family having tried to kill off the other members of said family.
This way all is fine, she's simply on a diplomatic mission with their new trading partner, nothing to worry about, business as normal (and she is otherwise now equestria's problem).
As to any of the above being a part of "Celestia's convoluted schemes"? Eh, wouldn't shock me
.
Shahrazad is right Sunset is a better ruler for the Crystal Empire than Cadence. As long as she asks and the ponies accept then they actually chose their ruler. But with Cadence its forced on them by the forgien power of Equestria and that will lead to resentment and possibly a coup.
Edit: not really a coup as Cadence isn't the legitimate ruler. More like an assaitation that could be totally avoided if Sunset asked to be ruler and waited to see if the crystal ponies said yes or no
LOL! I want. Chibi pocket Sombra! Give him a good shake when you are having a bad day.
Dammit Sunset, you just cockblock Spike lol
Sunset is smartest pony. Ruling a nation/empire/whatever means lots of paperwork. Nopony wants that.
So, when I saw the story title, my immediate thought was the lyrics from the Megadeth song, "Mary Jane".
Poor Sunny. Though this does make me question if her just beating down Sombra meant they never found the Crystal Heart, cuase that would cuase issues with the Empire in the long term.
Good old butterfly effect making things complicated.
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I suspect that Snow globe Sombra might have done something to give away the location of the Crystal Heart. Right after he learned that Sunset had prepared explosive runes this....
So.... Alicorn twilight???
Poor Sunset. Always an archmage, never an alicorn, or however that saying goes.