It was several weeks after Shadow Flare had moved into PonyVille, and everypony had just gotten used to him. Twilight was shopping with Spike in the market when she spotted a pony she had never seen before. He had just exited Sugar Cube Corner and Twilight got a good look at him. He was definitely a Unicorn like herself, but his fur was purple, with a green and purple mane and tail. His eyes were brown, and his cutie mark was a bunny. He walked very carefully, in fact, he reminded Twilight of Fluttershy in many ways. She walked up to him, but she see’s that he just ran into…Fluttershy. The yellow Pegasus had just purchased some food and had turned around when she ran into him.
Twilight trotted over to see they were both apologising to each other, and blaming each themselves for what had happened.
“It’s my fault. I should have been looking where I was going” he said while putting in bag back on.
“N.no. It was my fault, I should have been more careful when I turned around” replies Fluttershy.
“No it...” he finally takes a look at the pony he was talking to and blushes a bright red, she Fluttershy looks at him and turns a brighter red. Twilight walks up next to Fluttershy and faces her “Hey Fluttershy. Are you ok?” she asks.
“I…I’m fine, there was…an..accident” she stutters.
“Wait..you’re…you’re Fluttershy?” he asks, his face lightening up.
“Y-yeah, I am” she replies, he voice barely audible.
“I’m Stormrage. From Canterlot, I came here looking for you, Miss Fluttershy. Princess Celestia believes I could use some lessons from you about. Well. Taking care of animals”
“REALLY!” yells Fluttershy, well, actually, it was around anypony else’s normal speaking voice, BUT we are talking about Fluttershy here, remember? “Princ..Princess Celestia..wants you, the royal garden keeper, to get..Lessons..From..Little me?” she asks, shocked.
“Yeah, she said that I’m good, but I could use some training, and who else than you? The best animal keeper in Equestia”
“I..I wouldn’t say the best” she relies modestly.
“Really?” he challengers “Then can you explain how you managed to tame, not only an enraged manticore, but a fully-grown dragon. You made the dragon cry!” he exclaimed.
“It was nothing really? I was just trying to protect my friends”
“Well, regardless. I was wondering if you could lead me back to your cottage, I am really excited to start learning from you”
“Ok, I guess that’s a good idea” she says, leading Stormrage towards her cottage on the edge of the Everfree forest.
A few weeks pasted, and Twilight decided to give Rarity a visit. Twilight hadn’t seen Rarity in a few days, it didn’t seem like she left her house in ages. Twilight entered, pushing the door open to see Rarity, who was wearing one of her fabulous dressers , putting a tuxedo on another pony who was standing on the stage. The pony was defiantly a colt, and a lack of wings or a unicorn horn was very clear. He had orange fur and a bright yellow mane, reminding Twilight of Apple Jack. He didn’t move while it was being put on, but it clearly showed his cutie mark, a brown hammer.
“Hello? I’ll be right with you” says Rarity as she starts putting it on him.
“Hey there Rarity, I haven’t seen you in town in a few weeks, what’s the new project?” asks Twilight, hoping she doesn’t distract Rarity.
“Well, you see Aurora here is from Canterlot. He is a lawyer and is moving down here. I saw him and just thought he needed a new suit. So I got him in here, measured him and am now seeing if it works” she realises her magic, and the colt hops down. “Does it fit?”
“It’s perfect, I owe you Rarity. You must let me repay this” he says, his voice was similar to Big Mac, but lighter.
“It’s fine dear” replies Rarity, as Twilight rolls her eyes behind her eyelids ‘Of course she would say that. She IS the element of generosity after all’ thinks Twilight.
“My dear Rarity, I simply must repay you. How about we go out for dinner sometime, my treat” he offers.
“Well, it is such a kind offer…” starts Rarity.
“Which Rarity is happy to accept” interrupts Twilight, getting looks from both of them.
“I am?!” asks Rarity.
“Yes, you are” retorted Twilight “I have to go now, you two have fun now” she says before teleporting out of the library and into Sugar Cube Corner, smiling to herself ‘You’ve done something nice for Rarity’.
She appears in Sugar Cube Corner, expecting to see Pinkie Pie jumping around, serving people. What Twilight actually sees is something that confuses her. She sees a pink pony, jumping around. But this pony wasn’t Pinkie Pie, this pony had a yellow and brown mane, green eyes and cutie mark was a cake.
The pony approaches her “Hi there” he says, his voice higher than a colts is socially acceptable to be “Welcome to Sugar Cube Corner, can I take your order?” he asks.
“Where…Where’s Pinkie Pie?” Twilight asks, slightly nervous at the site of a pony that was similar to Pinkie.
“OVER HERE!” come a call from the counter, Twilight turns and sees Pinkie Pie at the counter, and turns back to face the
other pony
“Who are you?” she asks, facing the colt.
“My names Berry Split, nice to meet you Twilight” he offers her his hoof to shake.
“Nice to meet you Berry!!!!!” she says, but as she finished her sentence and took his hoof, she started getting electrocuted. They broke and Berry revealed a zapper on his hoof.
“GOTCHA!” he says, falling on the ground laughing as Pinkie starts to giggle as well.
“Good one Berry” says Twilight, laughing lightly to herself. She looks at the two Earth pony, and noticed how similar they really were. She realised that if 1 Pinkie was hard to take care of, 2 Pinkies would be near impossible to keep track off. She walked out of the store with the laughter from inside intensifying. Twilight looked at the town, sighed, then started walking back to the library.
Doing some homework now, but I'll read this in a little bit.
What brought me here is the premise and the picture. Good pic.
http://equestria-prevails.deviantart.com/
You should credit him for the cover...
awesome picture is awesome
Shouldn't this have an alternate universe tag because it deviates from the established history of the series?
1230513
Meh, I doubt he has permission to use it anyway. (Most likely because I asked for sole permission to that same image months ago, but whatever. Still an awesome image)
Actually, Lauren was gonna call Celestia "Queen Celestia", but they didn't like that. So she was called a Princess.... Do you read the wiki? But other than that, I bet you have a good story ahead for you.
Damn it.
I saw few fanfics based on ideas from my fanfic I wrote in the summer.
DAMN IT.
Now I can't post it, because that would be copyng !
Well well welll... Looks like you've gotten popular brother
-Ember
1232034
Correct Ember, i have indeed
-Shadow
Dayum badass cover!
I saw the exact same story a few hours ago and it had nothing but dislikes.
Second chapter, and so far you've written nothing that resembles the preview. It seems every pony in the mane 6 is getting their similar colt to date. As to why, I hope we'll see, but if I gotta be honest, I gotta tell you there's no hook in this fic so far, nothing to get one thrilled and really into the fic. Sure, the sudden appearances of the colts are strange, but since nopony seems to think it is strange, then the shock is greatly dulled.
Also, mind your spelling. There were a lot of grammatical errors.
Sorry if I'm coming out as rude, I don't mean to.
1233758
Shadow probably won't take offence. I plan on helping him with those grammatical mistakes tomorrow, and help him improve on the whole narrative.
-Ember
1233758
I have never been a good writer, so you must understand that it will take time for me to adept and improve my writing. Also, just wanted to introduce the new characters breifly before going into the story. I have a rather strange mind, but it makes sense to me. Also with my OC being Dash's coltfriend, It was pre-planned for the story, and is not for the hell of it. All of the colts have a purpose, being pared off with teh mane 6. Also i do not take offense. I know i am a weak writer, and this type of constructive criticism that will hopefully help me become better at this.
Thanks for your Honestly.
-Shadow
1234142
i am currently working on chapter 3, and the plan for 4th is under construction. it will be around 4 days, if i can work effectivly
this story is excellent! i wonder if the colts that most of the mane 6 are evil, or have some ultierior motive?
1234299
As much as i wish too, i will not reveal anything about the colts, because it is a supirse
it will take time for their purpose to be clear, but i hope when the time comes. it is interesting to read. thanks for the comment.
-Shadow
So they all get a boyfriend. I'm thinking those boys are one pony. or they are all friends but they are just hiding it, either way sounds logical. but i would love to see chaoter three
chapter'
1234774
As mentioned before, i do not want to go too indepth about them, but to a degree. you are correct.
I will have to applogise for chapter 3 and most of 4 will be the finals to the introduction. However, chapter 5/6 i hope i can start the interesting part of the story. no promies, but i will try my best. Thanks again for taking the time to read my stories and comment on them
-Shadow
Skywalker, it's the second chapter. They don't HAVE to atomaticly start writing about the cover title.
Personally, i love it. Especially the way you snuck in references to the actual MLP episodes.
1239384
I did take some time to do it, but i am happy it was noticed. Thanks for the support.
-Shadow
Can i use your character Stormrage in my next fanfic?
1246418
You may use him, but may i ask what this newest fanfic is? My curiousity gets the better if me too often.
Also, to everypony who has read down to here in the comments, Chapter 3 is currently being reviewed for errors, and hopefully will be up in a few days. However, we are trying a new editor, so the timing will be...unknown. Also chapter 4 is being made, and i am being rather cruel in it. I am making..well, you'll find out soon. i hope.
Thanks again for all the support.
-Shadow Flare, Captain of the Shadowbolts