Rainbow Dash is Best Pony

by Tirimsil

Ch. 7 :: In Which Rainbow Dash Has a Crush

"I agree, that is very strange..!"

Rainbow Dash pouted down at the ice cream marshmallow pony, who looked back up at her with the big bright eyes of a filly whose only desires in life were ice creams and marshmallows.

The guest room of the Carousel Boutique was basically Sweetie's room. She only bunked with Rarity for a week or two out of each month, but this was often enough that Rarity had engraved "SENS DU SWEETIE" onto the door in profound calligraphy. It even glowed in the dark - but Sweetie still walked right into the door and bashed her nose whenever she got up in the middle of the night, as Dash had witnessed once when sneaking in so the girls could set up a surprise party for Rarity in the morning.

When Sweetie wasn't home, every time Rarity passed the door her pupils became different sizes and she began muttering to herself something to the effect of, "Noooo, no no Rarity, no, that's Sweetie's room, that is the land of Sweetie's fashion sense and decor..." in between variable amounts of snarls and gagging. Dash'd had to drag her away from the door once while she yelled something about purification and hurled books at it.

Dash was uncomfortable in the room because, despite Rarity's worries, it was exactly the most beautiful room a gal like Sweetie could hope for - and a reminder of Rainbow Dash's own embarrassing past as a wouldbe-fashionista, an interest that vanished overnight as soon as she met Rarity.

White and pink and lilac and purple. Everywhere. Every bit of furniture was so soft and cuddly and cute. Rainbow Dash half-expected the Cutie Mark Crusaders to transform into sailor suit-wearing idols and steal the Heroes' jobs of blowing up bad guys with the power of love. Surely Rarity must have helped put all this together?

"Sweetie Belle," Rainbow Dash sighed, tapping a hoof, "Did you seriously think Scootaloo broke into Town Hall, stole a necklace, and came back to the exact same spot within the two seconds you weren't looking?"

"Of course I didn't!" Sweetie squeaked, and she was suddenly crying.

Rainbow Dash gasped, caught completely off-guard. "W-whoa, what's wrong?" she asked, much more gently.

"Don't treat me like I'm dumb!" Sweetie sobbed. "No one ever listens to me! Especially not Rarity!" She hiccuped and mumbled. "O-okay, so she can't hear anything right now, but..." She went back to yelling. "You're only here because Bloom didn't tell you enough and Scoots is the suspect so you can't trust her. Otherwise you wouldn't even have bothered because I'm the ditz and you're expecting me to just say something stupid!"

Though she was shocked at Sweetie's sudden wild change in demeanor, Rainbow Dash's heart sank with guilt. What was she supposed to say? It was absolutely true, after all. She thought it over and swallowed.

"You're right," Dash admitted, low and full of remorse. "I'm sorry, Sweetie Belle. You're much smarter than we give you credit for and I oughta treat you with more respect."

"... thanks," Sweetie choked. "But that doesn't change that no one is gonna believe that some old lady ran out and threw the necklace at Scoots."

"Huh?!"

"See!!" Sweetie bawled and stamped her hooves.

"Okay, okay," Rainbow Dash soothed awkwardly in a cold sweat. "Let's back it up a bit and collaborate Apple Bloom's story."

"Corroborate." Sweetie Belle inhaled very deeply.

"Who's counting," Dash frowned. "So to start--"

Sweetie began to rant at great length. "They were there when I snuck out of the boutique at sunrise I felt kinda bad but I just couldn't deal with Rarity's screaming anymore she was screaming at ponies who weren't there and at me who unfortunately was and it's torture Spike had to run off before then he was so cute I mean helpful I stared at them too long 'cause I didn't expect to see them and Scootaloo got sassy 'whatever-this-planet's-called to Sweetie Belle, yes, we're really standing here' and she rolled her eyes 'Bloom's skipping chores' and I'm not very good at Bloom's accent so give me some slack here but 'aaah ain't ee-ut's jess this's th' furst day we git togethuh after wut we dee-id'..." Sweetie paused to elegantly hack and cough.

"... I got Rarity the last thing she wanted," Dash offered brightly after a moment.

"Thankyoooou." Sweetie hugged her. She inhaled again. "So we went to the Buncha Fruitastica where everything is fruit and Bloom had a fruit salad and Scootaloo had fruit chips I think she eats too lightly I'm worried it's affecting her wing growth and I had a fruit jello I ate levitating a spork because I did community service with Miss Fluttershy which was really dirty and I felt icky and Bloom said 'Whah're you actin' lahk yew ain't always clean 'nough ta eat offa' and imgonnabarf." She paused to hack and cough some more.

Dash nodded with her wings are serious face, hugged her again, and patted her on the head until she stopped making pukey noises.

Sweetie breathed deeply a few times until she did another big inhale. "So on the way to the market we bumped into Diamond Tiara who is a lot nicer now but was cranky because her mom was being her mom she's a beautiful mare she's just really mean and no one got hurt and we all apologized even though I didn't freakin' do anything and when we got to the market Rumble was there and he bothered Apple Bloom over her big ol' buuuuhherrr big ol' ribbon she wears on her head and she was like 'yer ree-al luckeh Scoo-tuh-lew's on pa-roll raht nao mistur shedclockyagooood'..." She paused to catch her breath again.

"Maybe no more Apple Bloom voice," Rainbow Dash advised.

Sweetie blinked up at her and relaxed. "So I got my favorite soaps and shampoos and as we were heading to the east gate some tall old lady ran out of Town Hall and knocked us over." She paused there and waited.

Dash blinked back a few times. "Remind me to start with you next time I need to question ponies."

"I'm sorry I didn't speak up sooner," Sweetie sniffled down at the floor.

"It's okay." Dash smiled. "You kinda... go along with what everyone else says and does, huh? That's why you didn't say anything when I came out of the spa."

Sweetie nodded.

Rainbow Dash leaned down and hugged her. "Well, I think you're a smart cookie, Sweetie Belle."

Sweetie smiled bashfully in her grasp. "S-so the old lady must've tossed Scootaloo that necklace..."

"Looks like it."

"Gosh, that's inconsiderate."

Dash froze, blinking, then laughed. "Sweetie Belle, she's a thief."

"She could've been a gentlecolt thief." Sweetie huffed.

"Listen," Dash backed up, "You've been really helpful. I'm so sorry I came here not expecting to take you very seriously. Also, I brought a gift." She gave her a sugar stick. "We cool?"

"Weh gool," Sweetie responded, the sugar stick already in her mouth.

"Awesome. Be good to Rarity, okay? I'll see you later." Dash gave a wave-salute with one wing and headed back out.

"I'm always good to Rarity! She's the one who's evil," Sweetie pouted. "Oh." She added, glancing around at the empty room, "Oh, Miss Rainbow Dash left already. She could stand to be more of a gentlecolt too... Mm! Diabetes!"

---

One might think that Twilight Sparkle, the Hero of Books, might have been offended by another library opening up despite hers being perfectly spacious. Nope. A fool would think that. Anyone who'd known Twilight for about a week would instead predict that Twilight would insist on applying at every library in town. So far as Rainbow Dash was concerned, no one worked in a library because they wanted to. Except Twilight Sparkle.

And they'd be right. "ACK!" Dash bashed her nose on the stone steps, then stood up and headed inside with a ding from the entrance bell. "Hey Twilight," Dash greeted comfortably, fluttering to the counter.

Twilight looked up surprised, then smiled. "Rainbow Dash! What a pleasant surprise to see you here!" She had her hair in a ponytail and a fake pince-nez balanced on her nose. "Can I help you find something in particular?" She frowned. "You know the books are on the shelves and not written on the stairs. Right?"

"A pony, actually," Dash surprised her.

"A... pony?" Twilight blinked. "Um, this is a library --"

"Right, and eggheaded ponies come here to read books," Dash pushed through. "Tall, silver hair, might be some kind of jacked grandma," she continued, waving a hoof flippantly.

"Oh!" Twilight recalled. She leaned to the side and rapidly rolled through a rolodex. "Mm, just a moment," she requested before abruptly stopping the rolodex. "Ah! Here we are. A tall pony with silver hair did come in earlier today." She squinted at the card. "... Dash, can you read this? The signature is a bit indulgent even for me."

Dash accepted the card and raised an eyebrow. Then she put a hoof to her mouth and doubled-over, trying not to laugh. "Tell me that name doesn't start with 'Sapphic'..." she wheezed.

Twilight furrowed her brows and took the card back, examining closely. "... It might..." she admitted, grimacing, then scowled. "Hm, it says this was a stallion..."

"Really?" Dash doubted. "With long, silver hair, sheds enough to leave a trail between here and the plaza? Even Fluttershy doesn't shed that much, and she walks all up and down the park district every week."

"Don't judge, Dash," Twilight scoffed. "A lot of stallions these days wear their hair long." Then she pouted in thought. "Though now that I recall, I was sure that was the face of a young mare..."

"I guess..." Dash conceded to her first point. "Did he leave? I didn't see a second trail."

"Hm, I didn't hear the bell," Twilight tilted her head. "He should still be in the History section, he was really intense about it."

"Aaawww, that's the most boring one," Dash growled. "Where do I find it?"

"Head to the back of the building and take a right," Twilight leaned and pointed. "And um, please don't make a mess on my shift, Dash."

"That depends on him," Dash answered ominously, and flew off at a leisurely pace.

---

Dash tiptoed over the maze of upturned, dog-eared books. Then she remembered she could fly, and hovered over them, giving disapproving looks. Twilight'll fry this guy when she sees this, she thought. Hope she doesn't think I did it...

"Silly Goose..." she heard a sexy voice muttering. "Why didn't you tell me this..."

Dash set hoof on the floor again and stuck close to a bookshelf, inching closer.

"What did Hodgepodge do..." the voice continued, flipping pages wildly.

Dash poked her head around the corner and paled with wide, unbelieving eyes. She saw bubbles. Those bubbles that showed up in cartoons when the guy of your dreams showed up.

Holy smokes the guy was pretty. A pale cream coat with a delicate face that would shatter like porcelain at a kiss, and the longest hair this side of a Princess, sleek and shining like moonlight. His tail curled this way and that and gave her the distinct image of a manticore's whip. He was an alabaster god with the tresses of angels.

"Excuse me," Dash chanced.

He looked up calmly, without even starting. After five seconds of silence, he frowned at her. "Let me be alone," he said, and looked back to his books.

"Did you steal a necklace from Town Hall?" Dash pushed.

There was a pause of a few seconds. "Traitor." he suddenly accused, glaring and tossing the book aside.

Dash skedaddled back. "Excuse you?!" That was her second-least favorite word right after "school".

"You ignorant traitor, listen well," the strange pony crooned. His voice was like butter and jelly on toast. Dash hoped he was about to fly into a big sexy monologue and was not disappointed. "This land of Equestria could have belonged to Nightmare Moon. Would have, one thousand years ago. She could have delivered us to a promised land of beautiful midnight, with the moon's gentle grace to light our way forevermore, free of the judgmental scalding of the sun. But it was not to be."

Dash nodded with wide eyes, her cheeks red and entire body still.

"There were those who rejected this blessing," he spat. "They insulted her grace with artificial lights. They rebelled against her motherly protection. Her own sister condemned her, and banished her to the moon for one thousand years. And when she returned, what was she? A pale imitation of her glorious true self. A waifu."

"Lot of folks think Luna's pretty cute," Dash concurred.

"But in the golden age," he continued as though she'd said nothing, "Over the years before she was banished, Nightmare Moon left something behind. One thousand years ago, the beauteous locks of the moon were preserved eternally by her faithful followers."

Dash furrowed her brows. I wonder how many hairs the Princesses have shed in their lifetimes, she thought. Is the entire moon covered in loose hairs?

"That and the Night Sky Spellstone," he finished, holding up a dark gem, swirling as though full of stars. "To think that old maid was keeping it in a bauble, unaware of its power... Fufufufu..."

"Wait what?" Dash waved a hoof. "Hold up. That gem was inside the necklace..?"

"They found me in the forest. Did you know that?" he rasped madly. "They told me my father was the forest and my mother was the blood-red moon. And now I understand what they meant..."

Dash suddenly felt very uncomfortable. "Um, I thought Luna's always been single..." And fond of deer, her mind added against her wishes.

"For a thousand years, they have tried to use the Locks of the Moon to produce a successor." Suddenly, he was standing on top of a spire of books, facing away, with his hair blowing in the wind that shouldn't have been indoors. "They wished to produce a scion with the powers of Nightmare Moon... I am the one that was produced."

"Produced?!" Dash scoffed. "What, like kids' toys?! Come on."

"Silly Goose," he whispered. "Finest mind of the Lunar Arcaneum... genius technomage... produced me." He weightlessly stepped down from the spire of books and stepped toward Dash. "Out of my way," he warned gently, "I'm going to see my mother."

Dash awkwardly stumbled aside, turning to stare after him as he walked out. So hot, she appraised. So hot and crazy.

"Have a great day!" she heard Twilight brainlessly call a few seconds later, along with the ding of the library bell as the strange pony left.

Comments

[Tirimsil]

I forgot about this story again but that's okay. If you waited two years I think waiting a day or a week or whatever is fine right?

I don't remember why this. I think it's because I was playing Smash Ultimate at the tme.