Tom the Dark Lord-To-Be
On a fine summer afternoon, a unicorn stallion of a violet complexion and a chestnut-brown mane and tail, both trimmed to a sensible length, sat in the study of a cottage he rented not that long ago. He was wearing the Alicorn Amulet and, befitting his newfound power, was reading a list of things a budding evil overlord should and should not do.
“Number 35,” the unicorn muttered to himself, “I will not grow a goatee. Good advice.”
Suddenly, Twilight and the two formerly royal sisters booted down his door and pointed their horns at him.
“Uh...what are you doing?” the unicorn casually asked, “Pretty sure absorbing your magic was like the second thing I did after acquiring the amulet.”
“You will release our subjects at once!” Luna demanded.
“You mean Twilight’s subjects,” the unicorn replied as he pointed to Twilight, “And even then, they’re no longer her subjects because I used the combination of spells Starlight used in Every Little Thing She Does.”
The princesses gave the surprisingly savvy unicorn a befuddled look.
“Are you talking about that time Starlight used a mix of Cogeria, Fiducia Compelus, and Persuadere on my friends?” Twilight asked, “Because if you are, how did you know about that?”
“Magic,” the unicorn replied before snorting.
Twilight shot the unicorn a bemused look.
“Alright-y, then,” the unicorn said as he got up and stretched his legs, “Time to succeed where Starlight and Accord had failed.”
“Wait, what if I can convince you that what you’re doing is wrong?!” Twilight frantically exclaimed.
The unicorn chuckled, “I’m flattered you actually took the time of day to reason with me, considering how half-assed your efforts with Cozy Glow were. Granted, she was a little psychopath but what’s the difference between her and a cult leader guilty of messing with the space-time continuum, eh?”
“Speaking of which, I’m still annoyed you didn’t come to us during the Pony of Shadows incident,” Luna stated to Twilight, “My sister and I barely had anything to do when we were ruling Equestria and we could have informed Star-Swirl about how outdated his ‘once a villain, always a villain’ attitude was.”
“I...wouldn’t consider it that outdated," the unicorn butted in, "But then again, I know what I’m doing is wrong and yet I do it anyway because it is necessary to bring order to an otherwise orderless universe. Plus, being convinced to abandon their cause is the reason why Starlight and Accord failed in their respective goals in the first place.”
“I don’t know what it was that caused you to be this way but-” Twilight said before being interrupted.
“This isn’t the way?” the unicorn interrupted Twilight, “I don’t have to do this? Some other cliched crap like that? Trust me, what I’m doing is the only way for Equestria to be the paradise it needs to be. But as unwise as it is, I will tell you why I decided to become Equestria’s dictator. And trust me when I say it isn’t some pathetic sob story about how me and a friend drifted apart because of our differences.”
The unicorn sat back down in his comfy chair, “Once upon a time, there was a wee lad named Tom…”
The night was pitch-black as Tom drunkenly staggered his way back home. Were it not for the bar brawl he bore witness to, he would have stuck around and hoped that one pint of beer would eventually be his last. Now he had to go back to his apartment and listen to the woman next door constantly telling her dog to shut up, even though for the two years he lived in that apartment, that dog never listened. She was about as moronic as some of the teachers in school. Actually, probably even more moronic because he assumed the teachers actually did have qualifications to teach while the lady next door was most likely unemployed.
He wasn’t always like this. He used to be a super-friendly guy that was voted “Most Likely To Succeed” in high school. He once considered being a politician before realizing he’d have to pick a side. And he hated picking sides, considering one side is usually no better than the other. Even those who call themselves good had their own flaws, in that they had nasty tempers and/or a penchant for insulting their enemies either in front of them or behind their backs. Whatever happened to turning the other cheek, he will never know.
Not even the ponies in his favourite show, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, was immune to this. Despite the show’s insistence on how friendship is magic, it had the basic good vs evil conflict where a majority of the villains cackled more often than not and usually explained their plans to the heroes or made serious errors in judgement that eventually caused their downfall. Wouldn’t be so bad if even the ones that had reformed had a penchant for doing all of those things as well, including those you were meant to sympathize with and rejoice when they turn over a new leaf. He understood that the show was made for little girls in a bid to sell toys but he wondered how the human race could survive another decade or so if they're being coddled at such a young age. He learned from experience that people can’t just be categorized into good or bad, especially since what’s right and wrong had long since been blurred even though it should have been clear from the get-go.
“Bah!” Tom exclaimed in his inebriated state, “It’s all bullshit!”
As he wandered about, a thought occurred to him. He needed to pee. Badly.
He looked around and saw a statue of a horse in front of a high school much like the one he used to go to. The lights in the building were off so he assumed the janitor had gone home. Believing there’s no possible way he’d wind up of the sex offender list for this, he pulled down his pants, whipped his pecker out, and took a deep relaxing piss under the statue.
“Ah,” Tom sighed in relief.
In his intoxicated state, Tom felt so relaxed, he toppled over and fell under the statue. As if he was in a dream, he was taken to the light.
A beautiful lie.
I can't believe I'm making another longfic even though I have plenty of other stories to get on with. 
But, to be fair to myself, a funny story about a guy fed up with the bullshit of the world taking over Equestria with magic and knowledge does seem like something worth more than just one chapter.
BTW, rooting for Tom is entirely optional because, point or not, you got to admit he's an arse-hole. A funny arse-hole but an arse-hole nonetheless.
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A decent introduction chapter. I hope the next chapters are longer and filled with detail!
10669378
I'll see what I can do.
Provided I don't suffer from writer's block, of course.
10669380
Tea my friend. It has helped me through many a writing project. Oh and constructing over elaborate fantasies and set pieces and characters for your story and letting it fill your mind until you vomit the words on the paper. But that's mostly just a me thing
Well okay, looks interesting.
depends if he is just evil or logical evil and a competnt leader but seeing how he acts im guessing he is the logical leader who is evil due to it being the easyer and more effective solution
10669455
Correct-a-mondo!
10669493
would that mean in the future he will either accend himself of make the act of accending nothing special?
Duno if I say he more competent since he already monologue and giving out his backstory that normally the red flags that leads to a villain downfall
10670117
True but he's probably doing what Ozymandias did in Watchmen:
Explaining his plan long after he enacted it.
The title inspired by Penalt's "Twilight Learned" story by chance?
10670546
No, surprisingly. The "A Beautiful Lie" bit was based off of Bruce's opening monologue in Batman v Superman while the rest of the title was a reference to Dr Strangelove (Or How I Learned To Stop Worrying And Love The Bomb).
Missing a word -- I don’t know what
That is why Swirl Star (I know, don't care) is my least favorite: he's all "banish first, ask questions never."