A Beautiful Lie (Or How I Learned To Stop Worrying And Become a Totalitarian Dictator)

by Leondude

The Dynamic Mind-Dominating Duo

Tom stared at the entranced Starlight. As the initial shock of dominating someone’s mind as easily as sneezing faded away, Tom couldn’t help but find this particular predicament to be very amusing. A former cult leader guilty of using both magical and mundane methods of mental domination now a puppet herself. Then again, Tom did watch The Beginning Of The End so it wasn’t all that surprising that Starlight would be under the enthral of somepony more powerful than her. Still, Tom was not going to let this opportunity go to waste.

“So…” Tom said awkwardly, “You wanna give me the grand tour of the castle? And I’d prefer it if you teleported us around because I haven’t quite got used to walking on four legs.”

“Sure,” Starlight replied monotonously.

And in a flash, Tom and Starlight were in a completely different room. The throne room, to be exact.

“This is the throne room of the Castle of Friendship,” Starlight emotionlessly exposited, “It’s where we go to discuss stuff and eat chocolate fondue.”

At the corner of his eye, Tom saw what appeared to be the Alicorn Amulet dangling around a big crystal.

“And what might that be?” Tom asked as he pointed at the amulet.

“That’s the Alicorn Amulet,” Starlight replied, “We were supposed to put it safe but, because there’s usually something going on every week or so, we never got around to it.”

After exactly five seconds of thought, Tom shrugged and levitated over the amulet. It felt tighter than he thought it would.

“Be honest, how do I look?” Tom asked as he flashed a pose.

“I don’t know,” Starlight answered honestly, “Fashion is usually Rarity’s expertise.”

Tom shrugged, “Fair enough. Now then, is there any chance we can cut this tour short and have a tour around...Canterlot? And once again, have us teleport around Canterlot while giving the tour.”

“Okay,” Starlight replied as she teleported herself and Tom to the Canterlot Theatre.

“This is the Canterlot Theatre,” Starlight exposited in the exact same emotionless tone as before, “It is currently showing a production of Springtime For Aryanne, a satirical masterpiece that serves to make fun of any ardent national socialists that would rather watch Canterlot freeze than make friends with the other pony races.”

A random audience member shushed at Starlight.

“Are we allowed to be in here?” Tom asked.

“Of course,” Starlight replied as she held up two tickets, “Trixie bought tickets for us to watch tonight. Apparently, she wanted to see if there were any national socialists in the audience so she could kick them.”

Tom gave Starlight a befuddled look. Since when was Trixie interested in kicking Nazis? If anything, she was more likely to kick rival magicians for robbing her of her narcissistic supply. But rather than let good tickets go to waste, Tom sat down and watched the show.

🎵Springtime for Aryanne and Ger-mane-y🎵

🎵Pferdesport is happy and gay🎵

🎵We're marching to a faster pace🎵

🎵Look out! Here comes the master race🎵

🎵Springtime for Aryanne and Ger-mane-y🎵

🎵The unicorn land's a fine land once more🎵

🎵Springtime for Aryanne and Ger-mane-y🎵

🎵Watch out, Equestria, we're going on tour🎵

🎵Springtime for Aryanne and Ger-mane-y🎵

🎵Winter for Ponyland and Prance🎵

🎵Springtime for Aryanne and Ger-mane-y🎵

🎵Come on Unicorns, go into your dance.🎵

While watching the play, Tom couldn’t help but be distracted by how much the pony that sung that song sounded suspiciously like John Barrowman. Though, considering the world of Equestria had the likes of a Q-impersonating draconequus and and a Weird-Al sounding pony that will eventually father Pinkie Pie’s kids, the idea of a pony that sounded exactly like Captain Jack Harkness didn’t sound that far-fetched. Suddenly, an Earth pony with a blonde mane and an empty toilet roll duck-taped to her head stormed into the theatre wielding what appeared to be an AK-47 assault rifle. Similar to how he wasn’t going to question why a random pony sounded like John Barrowman, Tom wasn’t even going to bother asking why there are guns in Equestria, let alone AK-47s.

“You have broken ze Siegfried oath!” the mare exclaimed, “You must die! YOU ALL MUST DIE!”

Despite the fact that she was physically incapable of pulling the trigger, she inexplicably managed to fire her gun in the air.

“What are you doing?!” one of the stage actors shouted, “The show’s currently a hit!”

“Who cares?!” the mare shouted, “You made a fool out of me!”

“You didn’t need our help,” two of the actors dryly replied.

In retaliation for that snarky comment, the mare fired at the actors. But she missed because all the actors immediately ran for their lives.

“STAND STILL!” the mare shouted, “HOW CAN I SHOOT YOU IF YOU KEEP MOVING!”

Deciding he had enough of the gun-toting Nazi pony, Tom focused on the mare, with a bright flash of magic, cast the Cogeria, Fiducia Compelus, and Persuadere spells on her. If he didn’t know any better, he would say he was getting the hang of this. While the ethics of his constant use of those spells were questionable at best, he wouldn’t be surprised if Starlight (if she wasn’t currently mind-controlled) or even Twilight would have done the same if they were in the same situation as he was. He would probably get a medal or some other type of reward for his service, especially since the pony he just enthralled was a Nazi and, despite his insistence on being neutral when it came to politics, he couldn’t deny that Nazis are near-universally loathed and the only people who would like Nazis are other Nazis.

“Problem solved,” Tom said confidently, “Who’s next?”

Author's Note:

The road to Tartarus is paved with good intentions. And what could be a better intention for mind-controlling a Nazi than to stop her from shooting up a theatre? And because, you know, she's a Nazi.

BTW, if you're wondering why one of the actors in Springtime For Aryanne sounded like John Barrowman, it's because Barrowman had a minor role in the 2005 version of The Producers. Would link the clip but I had been informed not that long ago that depictions of swastikas have been banned (or so I've heard) so best to play it safe.

Speaking of which, I hope Springtime For Aryanne is different enough from Springtime For Hitler that it doesn't get me into trouble.

Comments

[Redundant]

Evil possibly corrupting necklace.

Good intentions achieved via morally wrong means.

Oh boy, the ‘’Big f*ck up” is coming soon and I can’t wait!

[GlitchyFox]

10713567
lets take stock of what he has:
Alicorn amulet
Starlight who has alot of magic knowledge and general knowledge of pretty much everything a cult leader or to be tyrant would need
Earth pony mare (many Aryanne) who knows where to get guns and has one (could possibly have made it aswell but assume she found till confirmation)
Ability to seemingly use any magic with little study or effort
Human knowledge (depends on what he knows as to how usefull this is but assuming basic things and comman sense)
Non threatening look ( Cozy glow was not discoverd due to looks or being flat out evil but insted when the ponys put it togehter that is when she took off her act)
so yea now he just needs some more "followers" and something to deal with alicorns (the bell or stealing tireks power?).
After that if he makes the world better through his rule and is evil but actualy does something about the large ammount of threats and villens attacking he could possibly keep hold of that power even if the main 6 and princesses want him gone.
Edit: im bad at spelling and if there is any errors i put it through google a few times so it should be mostly good