A Beautiful Lie (Or How I Learned To Stop Worrying And Become a Totalitarian Dictator)

by Leondude

Godmode Engaged

Tom hid behind a conveniently-placed bush outside of Fluttershy’s house. He peeped through the window and, to his good fortune, Discord was there and he was having tea with her. Good thing too because if Discord was literally anywhere else, Tom’s plan would have gone to shit and he would have been reduced to another villain that was so close to achieving his goals only to be undone by an unforeseeable event or serious error in judgement. When he saw the two of them laughing about something, most likely another funny anecdote regarding Discord’s antics or even an aristocrats joke, he saw this as the perfect opportunity to strike. Without hesitation, he teleported behind Discord and absorbed all of his chaos magic. Why Tirek even needed the Bewitching Bell when he was working with Cozy Glow and Chrysalis, Tom will never understand. Then again, Tirek wasn’t an overpowered unicorn like Tom was and, like the majority of unreformed villains (and even the one reformed villain) by the time of the show’s final season, he was afflicted with what Tom liked to call the Dastardly Dummy Disease.

Not gonna lie, Tom thought to himself, That was easier than I expected it.

Tom turned to face Fluttershy, who was frozen in fear from witnessing what happened to her friend and possible lover. Before she could even get the chance to scream and run away, Tom zapped her with the mind-control spells he had been spamming almost everypony with since he got here. And he zapped the weakened Discord with those spells too for good measure, which was surprisingly easier than he thought because he assumed Discord’s mind would be chaotic enough to resist getting controlled.

“Alright-y, then,” Tom said casually, “Are there any other individuals that might be a challenge to my rule? I already assumed control of Starlight Glimmer and absorbed Twilight’s power into myself.”

Before he could say any more, Tom realized he made one or two small boo-boos that might bite him in the ass later on.

“Crap, I forgot to mind-control Twilight,” Tom stated matter-of-factly, “And I forgot to smash every mirror that leads into another world and turn the quicksand into frozen ice. Guess that’s what happens when you’re on a power-high.”

“There’s also the matter of the retired princesses,” Discord said monotonously, “And Cadence and Flurry Heart.”

“I’ll get around to those soon,” Tom said before looking around to make sure nopony else is listening in on their conversation, “First, we find the Rainbow Power box and smash it to pieces and burn the pieces for good measure. Then we smash every Magic Mirror we can find, regardless if it gives us seven-plus years of bad luck. After that, we teleport to Silver Shoals and I take the princesses’ power for myself. And after that, we track down the Pillars of Equestria and...well, you get the idea. And if there’s time and I have bent everypony to my will, we will smash the Tree of Harmony into a gazillion pieces and then destroy those pieces for good measure so it doesn’t grow back again.”

“Shouldn’t destroying the Elements of Harmony be a top priority?” Discord asked.

“Given the existence of the Rainbow Power as well as Twilight and her friends not needing the actual elements to blast Sombra into oblivion and the majority of Equestrian civilization coming together to fire a big-ass rainbow laser at the bad guys, I think it’s safe to say that the Tree of Harmony and the Elements by extension are irrelevant,” Tom rapidly replied, “And there is more than one Tree of Harmony but the other tree is all the way in Farasi and, if I want to conquer that land, I need to conquer this one first.”

“But we only used the Rainbow Power once,” Fluttershy stated, “Why is that the first thing we need to do.”

“Because I am not taking any chances with that shit!” Tom exclaimed, “For all we know, it can be used more than once. And knowing the writers, they’d probably make it some sort of Swiss Army MacGuffin that could be used for whatever the plot demands because we all know that the only reason the good guys win is because their gods are on their side! Unless they manage to win through nothing but their wits.”

“I think you’ve gone mad with power,” Discord stated.

“One, madness and genius go hand-in-hand,” Tom retorted, “Two, have you ever tried going mad without power? It’s boring, no-one listens to you.”

---

After effortlessly destroying the box containing the Rainbow Power as well as every Magic Mirror that could act as a gateway to another world, Tom teleported to Silver Shoals and did exactly what he’d say he’d do.

“Surprise, motherfu-”

Before he could absorb one drop of the princesses’ magic, he was suddenly hit with a blast from an unknown source. The impact sent him hurtling into a big rock in the sand before leaving a massive crack in the rock and landing onto the coarse sand. As Tom got up, he saw the assailant and it was none other than Star-Swirl the Bearded, accompanied by the other Pillars.

“Your reign of terror ends no-AAAAAAAAHHHHHOOOWWWWW!!!!!” Star-Swirl exclaimed as Tom conjured a hand made of sand that pulled down on Star-Swirl’s stupid beard.

As the other Pillars were shocked by Star-Swirl’s sudden and very painful incapacitation, they failed to notice the portals that were suddenly conjured beneath them. Predictably, gravity did its thing and the other Pillars fell into another dimension. As unwise as it was, Tom felt an insatiable urge to give Star-Swirl a good talking to after all the crap he pulled in the series. So when Celestia and Luna entered the fray, Tom conjured a portal that sucked them up into another dimension.

“Let’s make one thing very clear, Pony Dumbledore,” Tom said as he trotted over to the captive wizard, “Just because you saved Equestria a few times, it doesn’t mean you can use Earth as your own personal trash can. I lost a few nights of sleep after watching Man of Steel because I was worried two guys might duke it out one day for the fate of the world, ignoring that normal civilians like me were collateral damage in their fight! So trust me when I say my people didn’t need to deal with sirens, memory stones, time-twirlers, and any other magical crap and yet we did anyway! Got it?!”

Star-Swirl sheepishly nodded.

“Good,” Tom said politely.

And with a flash, he mind-controlled Star-Swirl and released him from his sandy grasp. After that, he opened up a portal that brought back the princesses and the other Pillars. They landed painfully on their flanks.

“I have been falling FOR THIRTY MINUTES!” Luna exclaimed.

Oh, please,” Tom said casually, “It felt more like thirty seconds.”

Author's Note:

Perhaps I should change the description from "competent evil overlord" to "competent evil overlord that is OP as shit but is smart enough to know how to use his OP-ness to foil his enemies and not get shot by rainbow lasers or make any mistakes except maybe forgetting to mind-control one or two ponies and even then, he was in a rush and he stole their magic anyway so, logically speaking, they shouldn't be a threat to him."

Nah. That's too long.

Speaking of evil overlords, this is why No. 35 of the Evil Overlord List exists. The fact that good guys, especially elderly magicians, can grow beards too make it even more of an important rule to follow for any budding evil overlords.

Comments

[GlitchyFox]

be funny if he ended up making a more harmonius world like this

[Leondude]

10756090
Can't get more harmonious than mind-controlling everyone.

[GlitchyFox]

10756100
guess not

[Vampiro]

Why do I have a feeling he's going to regret not following the rule about simply shooting ones enemy?

[DmitriTheWriter]

Only Tom could get into an argument with people he's mind-controlling.