The Adventures of Mane 7 mlp:fim
Season 1
Episode 4
Playing Together
The constant knocking continued as the orange earth pony and the light blue pegasus just continued to stare at each other not knowing what to do.
“Fluttershy, darling, are you there?” the elegant voiced asked again. The pegasus then got behind the country pony and started to push her towards the door way of Nemesis's room. The blonde mare took second to figure out what was going on as she slowly skid her hooves across the ground.
“Well, That's your cue!” The rainbow pegasus smiled nervously hoping she should would go along with it. The orange mare completely saw through her game
“Now wait ah minute!” she told her as she shook the pegasus hands off her. The country mare turned around to look at her.
“Just what am I supposed to tell her!?” The orange mare asked.
“I don't know just tell her something!” The pegasus replied trying to keep her voice down.
“Are you nuts!? Im the Element of Honesty!”
“Yea well im Loyalty! Do you think I can lie any better!?”
“Better than me at least!”
“Oh give me a break!”
Both mares froze as the voice at the front door spoke again.
“Fluttershy? Is that you?” The voice asked. With both mares inside the house low on patience, they both without thinking, decided to take the heat.
“Coming!” they both yelled. Both mares instantly slapped their hands onto their mouths horrified that they both just spoke. There was a moment of silence as every mare inside and outside Fluttershy's cottage just stood there. Not a second later the pegasus and earth pony dashed downstairs to meet up with a familiar pony. Both mares looked extremely nervous as they opened the door ready to face the music. They opened the door quickly to avoid suspicion but they opened too quickly being as suspicious as ever. Both mares gave the widest smiles they could manage to the elegant mare outside.
The elegent mare is a unicorn that had white fur and purple hair. She wore a short skirt dress that was a light blue color. The dress also had a ton of designs on it and was able to hug the curves of her body. She carried an umbrella not because it was raining, but to keep the sun off of her skin. Right now though, the elegant unicorn was completely taken off guard at sight of her two friends inside of another friends house.
“Rainbow Dash!? Apple Jack!?” she said wide eyed and confused. “What are you two doing here?” Both mares inside continued to smile at her as they both leaned against the door way.
“Howdy there Rarity, fancy meetin you here.” Apple Jack greeted
“Uhh, yea, fancy meeting you here!” Rainbow Dash said trying to back up her country friend.
“We’re here to uh, take care of uh,” The earth pony said pondering for a witty loop hole around lying.
“Fluttershy's house!” The pegasus shouted finishing her sentence.
“Yea that's it! Fluttershy's house!”
“Beeeecause, there's a hole in the ceiling!”
“A-and a burglar broke in!”
“Sooooo we stopped him!”
“He was angry!”
“He's a bear!”
“Who stole things!”
“A-and we stopped him!”
“Y-yea good 'ol teamwork, heh heh.”
The excuses finally stopped as they both had an arm around each others shoulder, smiling nervously at Rarity. Of course, she wasn't buying their story one bit. She stared at them with an unamused face. She then sighed knowing they weren't telling the truth.
“You two are simply awful at lying.” she admitted. Apple Jack and Rainbow Dash both lowered their heads in shame. She then looked at them ready to hear some bad news.
“Well then, lets hear it,” she commanded rolling her eyes. “whats the reason you don't want me inside?” The country mare and the athlete pony looked at each other for moment as if they both knew what had to be done. They both sighed and then Rainbow Dash began to speak.
“Actually,” she began as she rubbed the back of her neck “I think maybe you should see this for yourself.” she told her.
“See, what?”
“So let me get this straight, Fluttershy has been secretly taking care of a stallion.” Rarity said trying to clear things up. They were now all in the guest room where Nemesis was resting.
“Pretty much.” Apple Jack answered.
“But it gets even weirder” Rainbow Dash told her. She then walked over to the sleeping stallion. The pegasus then signaled Rarity with the wave of her hand. “Come here.”. The elegant pony got up from sitting down and walked over to his bed next to Rainbow. “look at him closely.” she told her. Rarity then leaned forward to look for something. Apple Jack continued to sit and watch the two ponies watch over the dark stallion. She knew what Rainbow Dash was getting at. She was going to show Rarity that this mysterious stallion was an alicorn.
“Well, he is quite handsome.” Rarity admitted blushing a bit.
“I know right!?” Rainbow agreed smiling that she got her point across.
“Are y'all serious!?” Apple Jack yelling in disbelief standing up.
“What?” Rainbow responded confused a bit.
“Weren't ya gonna show Rarity that this colt is ah alicorn!?” She asked annoyed as this was the second time that Rainbow Dash's lust distracted her from getting the real point across. But Apple Jack would bet bits that she aimed just to show her that.
“Oh, right,” The pegasus responded rubbing the back of her neck. “Well yea, that too.”
Rarity raised an eye brow. “Really?” she questioned “How strange.” She then looked back at the sleeping stallion. A moment of silence occurred once again until the light blue pegasus spoke.
“By the way, what did you need to see Fluttershy for?” Rainbow asked Rarity.
“Oh, you see, Fluttershy and I usually go to the spa every Saturday. Today she didn't show, so I thought I would check up on her.” Rarity told her. “What about you two? Why are you ponies here?” She asked.
“I actually was missin a pair of sheers to trim ma apple trees, they were gettin a tad to big ya know.” Apple Jack continued “But anyway, ah thought ah could borrow Fluttershy's sheers if she had one, so ah decided to visit her.”
“I crash landed.” Rainbow Dash bluntly said looking away. Rarity and Apple Jack just glared at her with a are-you-serious expression. “What?” she questioned raising both of her hands shrugging. “I was reading and flying okay, give me a break!”
The beautiful day continued to pass by as Fluttershy finally finished her shopping. She was now heading to the library where she could meet one of her best friends there. She was very smart and knew just about everything there is to know. The shy pegasus needed some advice from her to see what to do with the alicorn she's taking care of. Fluttershy got to the library-treehouse's door and opened it. She walked inside and was instantly surrounded by books. She then looked around for her bookworm friend. She finally spotted her doing what she usually does, studying. The pegasus then walked up to the desk her friend was sitting in and began to speak to her.
“Twilight?” She called out to her almost as if she was asking to make sure that was her name. The pony gave no response as she just sat there reading her book. Fluttershy decided to call her again. “Twilight?” still no response. The shy mare tried her best to communicate with the bookworm. “Twilight, I wanted to ask you something,” she told her softly “i-if that's okay with you.” her response was one of pure silence. Fluttershy then decided to call it quits and maybe come back later, she then started to leave. “W-well then, I guess I'll come back later when your not bus-Wahhh!!” as she was leaving, she tripped over herself, squeaking a bit.
“Fluttershy?” Twilight finally called out to her. She then raised an eyebrow “Are, you okay?” Twilight asked. Fluttershy then scrambled to get up as fast as possible, too embarrassed to look at her. She then brushed herself off and then held her hands in front of her looking down blushing profusely.
“Y-yes, I-im fine.” she responded softly. Twilight then smiled at her. “That's good, its great to see you Fluttershy.” She told her. She closed her book and got up from her desk. The bookworm had purple fur and darker purple and pink hair. She is a unicorn that wears a white suit shirt under a brown tank top with a darker brown short skirt. And even though she studies all day, She still manages to have a curvy body. “So how are you?” Twilight asks.
“Oh, im doing great,” She told her smiling. “but I came here to ask for some help, i-if that's okay with you.”
“Of course that's okay-” Twilight was cut off by herself yawning. Fluttershy stared at Twilight with a concerned look.
“Are you okay?” The pegasus asked worried “you look a bit tired.”
“Yea, im fine!” Twilight said happily trying to hide her sleepiness. Then Fluttershy's eyes widened at a stunning realization.
“Don't tell me you haven't found another assistant yet!” Fluttershy said shocked but still softly.
“Why would I need another assistant? Spike is fine.” The unicorn responded
“Yes, but, Spike is in high school now. Spike was able to help you more often because he was home schooled. Now its been a year since he got into high school, its going to get harder for you.” Fluttershy told her trying to convince Twilight to get help for the library. Fluttershy's convincing was starting to work as Twilight sighed. She then leaned against her desk almost sitting on it.
“I know.” Twilight said discouraged “I know that, but Spike promised me he would always come home to make up what he missed.” Twilight continued. “And he's been doing that but, after he finishes, he stays up almost all night doing his homework. I can't let him do that, but, if I get another assistant he might feel like hes been replaced since hes not home as much anymore.” She was unsure what to do.
“Its alright Twilight, Im sure you'll figure things out.” Fluttershy comforted as she smiled at her. Twilight thoughts then snapped back as she remembered something.
“Oh im sorry Fluttershy, we got a bit off topic.” Twilight said smiling again “What did you need to ask again?”
“Oh, well, first, whats a alicorn?” The shy pegasus asked straight up.
“Oh that's an easy one!” The bookworm said with confidence. “A alicorn is a pony with both a horn and wings. Its a genetic trait that is passed down throughout that family. Its almost impossible for regular ponies to have alicorn children. Most of them are royalty and are very powerful. A good example would be Princess Celestia.” Twilight said finishing her smarty-pants mode.
“So, its almost impossible for them not to be royalty?” Fluttershy asked to make sure.
“That's correct.” Twilight answered with a confident smile showing off her knowledge
“Oh, I see, well then I know one that's not royalty then.” She told her smiling as she was satisfied with that answer she got. But little did she know that simple sentence she spoke made her friend completely freeze with shock.
“Wait, what!?”
Thanks for reading, and please let me know of any typos!
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Why do you continue with this imbecility?
This story has been downvoted to the oblivion. Satan is screaming because he's looking at this. You have countless comments, telling you every single point that you have gone wrong, which is pretty much every single one. Along with that Return of the changelings by rawhavoc and a few others, this is one of the most downvoted stories on this website. Only 1 person has favorited this, and I'm pretty sure they favorited it just to have more opportunities to laugh at the stupidity.
And yet you continue to write this, having no concern whatsoever to what people say.
Sure, we all may be complete dicks to you about it, but it's needed to get the thought through your empty head. And we are giving criticism. Constructive criticism. Harsh constructive criticism. Don't pretend we're just giving you a hard time, making threats to make you feel sad. We're giving real advice. So take it, and fucking use it.
As for what I say, I cannot give you any tips that have not already been said by both these other commentors and the unwritten, invisible rules of FiMFiction.
So, here's what I say:
Get rid of this, and start anew from scrap.
Just delete this; nothing good will come from it. Ever. Even if this were somehow to get good, there's too much dislikes to ever be fixed. So, just get rid of this.
I have done enough. My pain from looking at just the cover image has caused me internal bleeding. I must leave; there are plenty other shitty fics on this site that need me to explain why not to be butthurt, what they did wrong, or just plain scream at them loud enough to make them cry.
Goodbye, and may you eventually have a cleansed story.
A foul mood pervaded the pit of souls, worse than normal, which given the screams of the damned was no easy feat. The Dark One, the Prince of Evil and Lord of Lies was enraged and the demons who served him felt icy fear clutch their black hearts for the first time in centuries. There was a new force of good in the world of men. One unlike anything the Beast of Sorrow had ever felt. Humans, weak foolish, pathetic humans flocked to it, forsaking their vices and flaws. They believed in it, immersing themselves, body and soul within its cleansing light.
The Archfiend growled in frustration as he was stymied again and again by the love and harmony that now filled them. Something had to be done. Such an affront to the forces of darkness could not be ignored. With a hand of shadow he reached out into the world and sought the one thing he needed to bring down everything that these so-called 'bronies' loved. It didn't take long to find.
The unsuspecting victim was young and hungry for acclamation. His ambitions were lofty, a fanfic unlike the world had ever seen, but he was raw and untrained. The Ruler of the Fallen gathered his foul powers and spoke in twisting, sibilant words. Poisoned whispers and subtle suggestions twisted the boy's mind until it was hardly his own. As though in a trance he sat down at his computer and began typing.
Within the lake of fire the Master of Darkness smiled, making the suffering sinners shudder and recoil in fear. For even as experienced as they were with the tortures of Hell, there were some things too terrible for even them to face.
It was short hours later that the young man’s work was finished, and he sagged in his seat as the dark force that had fueled him left his body. It lingered only for a moment, long enough to hit the 'publish' button, before retreating to the abyss from which it had arisen. The computer shook and sparked madly. The forces at play within it were far greater than anything the technology had been built to handle. Realizing what he had done the boy reached for the cord, trying desperately to stop the abomination in its tracks, but he was too late. With a fevered screech of unholy joy the story burst onto the internet spreading its eldritch tentacles deep into the fabric of the web, resisting any attempt to delete it. The profane literature reached out and began to poison the minds of every brony that saw it, filling them with a vicious hatred. They spent their fury upon the author, speaking caustic, cutting words that were meant to hurt. They recognized the evil in the writings even though they misattributed the source. The boy watched in horror had what had happened. He hung his head and cried even as the Adversity crowed his triumph, cruel laughter echoing off the walls of his dark kingdom.
And that's how this fic was made. Next time I'll tell you about how the author got his cutie mark.
1190135 Dude, that was actually pretty awsome! assets0.ordienetworks.com/images/GifGuide/clapping/citizen_cane.gif
1190605
Thank you. I'm glad it was taken as the tongue in cheek in which it was intended.
The last time I used this comment the author deleted the entire story and refused to talk to me.
1190655 sounded like a bad day
1190681
*shrugs*
His loss. Though he could have just asked me to delete it. Oh well.
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1196773 That pic is amazing!