Sketchy Salutations
Starlight blinked with a blank expression before finding a response, “…Uh…neigh to you too,” She rubbed one of her legs with a hoof, “So…I guess there’s no creature, is there?”
“No,” Ambrose huffed, continuing to nurse his skull, “But there is a unicorn with me.” He glanced back at the shrub.
Suddenly, Louis shot up out of the bush, screaming and spasming his limbs encased in the pink aura, “You mean this unicorn?” Twilight asked, a stern look remaining on her face.
“Yes, that unicorn,” Ambrose stated, “Can you put that unicorn down, please?”
Louis was then dragged through the air, floating all the way over to Ambrose’s side before stopping. The aura soon vanished, dropping him from the sky and landing hard on his rear, causing his hair to fall in front of his face. There was no grace in any action, no humor to be harvested. Only comedic to the cops who knew they’d gotten their hands-or hooves-on a pair of idiots just stupid enough to think they could outsmart them. Thrown around with no respect, like a criminal.
“Thanks,” Ambrose said, “Now, I know this looks a bit strange, but-“
“Why were you two hiding in the bush?” Twilight quickly asked, walking up and peering down at Ambrose. “And why did you destroy my kite?” Starlight quickly added with a hint of anger. Ambrose was beginning to grow a disdain for the color purple; these two certainly weren’t wearing it well.
As for Louis, he was draped in a haze of dread. He couldn’t handle the pressure anymore, building too much, too quick to begin unpacking. It now spilled all across his emotions. Everything that night was egging him on, hoping he would break. Now, the shell finally shattered.
“It was an accident, we swear!” His sudden outburst caused the two to jump, “All of it! I-I-I-I didn’t know what was going to happen, no clue! All I wanted was a night of forgetting, o-of casting off all of my problems, even if it were just a few measly hours! But I was wrong, I-I was so very, very wrong! It took over everything…everything,” His voice cracked slightly, “I wasn’t ready for the horror I had created, the monster that lay in wait…it all got the best of me, of us! Please, you have to understand, please!...please….” His voice trailed off as his eye sockets became soaked with regret.
The two cops grew a deadpan expression, panning their attention towards Ambrose.
He cleared his throat nonchalantly, “We got lost.”
Twilight put on a small smile, “There, was that so hard to say?”
“Huh? Wha-I-“ Louis began to stutter again before Ambrose cut him off,
“Please excuse my friend. We’ve been out here for nearly a full day, and it’s been…unnerving to say the least.”
“Wait, are you saying you guys have been lost out here since last night?” Twilight asked, her stiff demeanor slowly softening.
“Yes, if you couldn’t tell.” Ambrose snorted.
“I’ll say, your hooves are all worn and cracked,” Starlight said, pointing at Ambrose’s legs, “And your wings look like they’ve been used to sweep dirty floors rather than soar the skies.” She levitated a feather, turning it over in examination.
“And you,” Twilight looked over Louis, his appearance mirroring the crazy rant he just rambled. His mane had become matted and stringy, frazzled all over his face. Bits of stick and leaves had gathered within it, considering its length caused it to drag along the ground. The same thing could be said about his coat, which was splattered in a messy mixture of mud and blood. His hooves also showed wear and tear, being chipped and cracked and multiple areas. “...Have definitely seen better days.” She said, slightly cringing.
Starlight leaned over to Twilight, “The beauticians would have a field day with this mare.” She mumbled.
Unfortunately, it wasn’t quiet enough, as the twitch of an ear confirmed, “Mare….MARE?” Louis shouted. He shot up and stomped towards them, getting right up to their faces. Or their chins rather, considering he was even shorter than they were. “Does THIS look like a mare to you?” He quickly parted his hair revealing his fiery, and most certainly masculine, complexion.
Both of the officers eyes grew even bigger, “Uh-I mean stallion! A field day with this stallion. Yes, that’s..what…I meant, heh.” Starlight said, finishing with a forced smile.
Louis scowled before backing away, “Y’know, now that I see you from this angle…” Ambrose chuckled.
“Quiet.”
Twilight quickly shifted back into her police persona, continuing the interrogation, “So why were you guys waiting out here in the Everfree forest anyways?”
Ambrose was quick to reply lest Louis started spouting off again, "Like my friend said, life was becoming a bit more hectic than we could handle at the time, so we decided the best course of action was a little expedition into nature. Clear our heads, enjoy the calm atmosphere and the cool breeze."
"In the Everfree? At night?" Starlight said, raising an eyebrow.
"Alright I'll admit the plan played out a lot smoother in our heads," He and Louis looked at each other, "Instead it ended up blurring into one large mass of trees and such, got lost not too long after that." He decided to get his hooves underneath him, considering he was given a forced respite.
"Well that wasn't very smart, all manner of creatures lurk out here after dark. You two could've gotten seriously hurt." Twilight said as she looked to Ambrose. Looking up at him.
It was hard to tell since he was with Louis, but he still had his height advantage, and the hulking frame as Louis put it. He gazed down at the two mares, who were both taken aback at his sheer size. "Or perhaps you can look after yourself just fine." Twilight squeaked.
"I appreciate that," Ambrose said, flexing his pecs, "But you may be disappointed to hear we were hiding because we thought you two were some scary creatures."
"Hang on, you were hiding from us?" Ambrose nodded, "Then that means...I just..." Starlight's face became beet red as her ears folded, "...sorry for throwing you out of the bush like that." She said meekly.
Ambrose waved a dismissive hoof, "No need to be. In all fairness, I probably would've acted similar hearing something creeping around." This caused Starlight to smile a bit with relief.
Louis could only stare in starry-eyed amazement at what Ambrose had just achieved. Not only did he manage to mellow out the cops from their more barbaric behavior, but he also managed to take his own outburst and mold it into a made up story, squeezing sympathy out of the star-branded ponies. He could finally see it, that tiny glint of hope. The hope that they may actually get out of this without being arrested, without being dragged and dumped into a squad car, with a little indecency added on. They could just be left alone do deal with matter themselves. It was so close he could taste it, and it tasted like vanilla.
"Now then, why don't we lend you two a hoof getting back to town?" Twilight said cheerfully.
Vanilla extract to be exact.
"Oh no it's fine, really. We can handle ourselves from here, we don't need any assistance." Louis said, voice shaky. Now they were making their move, using this opportunity to swoop in and make the arrest.
"Don't be ridiculous, you guys have done quite enough trotting for today, it'll only take about a second to get you back home." She insisted, probably prepping the cuffs.
"Good thinking, where you guys live?" Starlight added, a double team maneuver.
Louis glanced to Ambrose, sweat running down the back of his neck. "Oh, uh-you see, we're kinda...new to the area, if you know what I mean..." Was the best thing he could muster, how the hell do you answer something like that when you're still at your house?
Twilight and Starlight both looked at each other, smiles glowing, "New ponies in town, huh? Well, why don't you rest up back at the castle? It's got plenty of rooms to spare." Starlight suggested.
"That's a great idea, Starlight! How's that sound?"
"C-Castle?" Louis could feel his eye start to twitch.
"Yeah y'know, the Castle? Big, made out of crystal? Ring any bells?" Starlight said.
"Crystal castle?" The police station. This was it, the end inching nearer.
Ambrose stepped by Louis's side, "You sure? That sounds like a real hike from here, and we don't want to bother you..." What do I even say to that? I got nothing!
"Don't worry, we got this. Starlight?" Both cops gained confident grins as their horns began to glow.
These fuckers are gonna tase us! “No, wait!” Louis screamed, seeing their horns continue to glow brighter. He quickly covered his face with his hooves, attempting to make any kind of shield. He waited for that searing shock to his nervous system, the spams and shakes as some of the most excruciating pain would shred across every inch of his body. Rattling his brain like a peanut in a jar.
Instead, all he felt was a slight tap on his shoulder.
“Wait for what? We’re already here.”
He brought his arms down to see Twilight standing in front of him. A very confused Twilight standing in front of him. A very confused Twilight standing in front of him inside of a massive, crystal foyer.
Louis and Ambrose looked around frantically, “What the-where are we?” Ambrose found himself asking a second time that night.
“Oh, right…” Twilight said sheepishly, probably remembering that comment about being new here, “We brought you guys over to the castle, my castle, to be exact.” She waved a welcoming hoof towards the rest of the room.
Ambrose continued to look around, “But h-how did we-I mean, we were just in the forest half a second ago!” He threw his hooves up in bewilderment.
“Oh, that was just a quick teleportation spell, nothing too challenging.”
Louis rolled his eyes, like that's gonna fly in court.
“Easy for you to say…” Starlight huffed, “You got the smaller one. Lugging this huge piece of pegasus along was a lot heavier than I thought.” Causing Twilight to giggle.
And for Ambrose’s brow to darken. He’ll admit, every event that unfolded tonight was of their own doing, no denying that. They somewhat knew what they were getting into; their sense of reason and decision making would be compromised, indeed. Turning into a horse? Ok, maybe that part they couldn’t plan for…and perhaps the house becoming a full-fledge fucking forest, that too. And if anything, all the neighbors called them on was for being a little too rowdy at night. But the way these two went about handling this was nothing short of an abuse of power. They kicked down his door, threw him around his home, insulted his best friend, dragged them into a patrol car and through the police station unconscious. And now they were laughing about it. A piece of pegasus…describing him like a piece of meat. An animal.
Goddamnit, he wasn't a fucking animal. He was somepony.
“We have names, y’know? Or are you two so high on your own power trips to give a shit at this point?” Ambrose turned to see Louis sitting with his arms crossed, a scowl matching his snark.
The two mares ceased laughing immediately, eyeing each other with looks of surprise and shivers.
"Oh no, we were so wrapped up in figuring out the problem in the Everfree, we didn't even ask you guys your names for Celestia's sake!" Twilight shouted, wrapping her hooves around her head.
Ambrose gave her a flat stare, nice save...bitch.
"Right, terribly sorry about that," Starlight said, sweating bullets, "Uh...is there a chance we could give this whole thing one big do over?"
Cold silence was the reply.
"Yeah...thought not," She chuckled nervously, "Soooo, you two are?"
"Louis Hemmingway."
"Ambrose Sinclair."
The mares stared for a second, before Twilight cleared her throat, "Well, it's nice to finally know your names. I'm Twilight Sparkle, and this is Starlight Glimmer." She pointed a hoof to her partner, who in turn gave a quick wave.
Fan-fucking-tastic, didn't even get their real names, Louis thought, Ugh, tomorrow is gonna be a real shit storm to sift through.
"Yeah, nice to meet you too," Ambrose responded sternly.
"And I'd think it'd be even nicer to see those plenty of rooms right about now," Louis added.
"Of course!...of course," Starlight said, continuing to wear a shade of red, "Just follow us."
Louis got up, "Thank you very much-"
"Wait!" Twilight literally appeared in front of him, causing him to jump back.
"Ah! What?"
"Do you mind if I clean you up a bit before we continue?"
The two looked to each other, noticing bits and pieces of the forest had followed them here.
"Sure." Louis grumbled.
"Thanks, I promise it'll be quick." Twilight said as her horn lit up.
The two found themselves soaked, shampooed, soaped, soaked again, and scrubbed in the span of a few seconds. They looked down to see their coats cleaned to a near polished shine, even little glints of light sparkling off here and there. Unfortunately for Louis, the split-second shower seemed to add even more volume to his hair, now even wavier and unmanageable than before.
"There, much better from all those sticks and mud, right?"
Ambrose spit a loose feather out of his mouth, "Sure."
They didn't pay much attention to their surroundings, not that they were going to be here long. More hallways, more crystal, more windows, more doors; everything seemed to bleed together. Each entry symmetrical, identical to one another. Uniform. Well, prisons aren't exactly made to be stylish anyway. Function over form is the name of the game here.
Eventually, they came to a stop in front of a pair of double doors, "And here we are, one room for our new guests!" Twilight said, opening them with a spark of magic.
Inside was a simple room, made of the same materials of the rest of the building. What confused them was how...hospitable, their temporary cell was: A king sized bed, overflowing with blankets and throw pillows. A nightstand with kettle and cups for brewing tea. And to top it off, a huge window in the corner, allowing a clear view of any current events in the world. The free world.
"Wow, uh..." Louis slowly walked inside, "this is...spacious."
"Yeah, these rooms are almost the size of a normal house." Ambrose inspected the kettle and cups.
Twilight went over and pulled down on a rope, causing the curtains to close. Sealing them off from the sights and sounds outside. Locking them inside here, in this room. Damn.
"We'll let you get some shut eye for now, after being stuck in the Everfree all night, I'd be beat!" Starlight said.
"Me and Starlight will be around in the castle, come get us if you need anything," Twilight said, making her way to the door, "It's always a pleasure to see more ponies take in interest in living here, I'm sure you two are going to love Ponyville."
Louis turned to the mares, "Oh...uh yeah! Absolutely, man!"
"Yeah, be seeing you!" Ambrose chirped.
The mares smiled, "Well, Vanilla Fudge...Mellow Yellow, see you soon!" And with that the door closed, leaving the pair alone.
Louis quickly grabbed Ambrose, near hitting him on the head with his horn, "What the fuck was that? Did she just call you Mellow Yellow?"
"I think so, and she called you Vanilla Fudge," Ambrose slowly backed himself away, "I don't get it, we gave them our names, right? Or are they just screwing with us again?"
Louis bit his hair in frustration, "Grrrrr! You know what, fuck it! I'm done! I'm just gonna go ahead and sleep. This shit better be gone by morning." He walked over to the bed, continuing to mutter to himself, "I can't fucking believe it, another fucking brownie joke..."
Ambrose found that last point very peculiar, considering absolutely nothing had shown any sign of going away. Everything up until this point had been crisp, extremely sharp. Not a single detail out of place, even down to the blades of grass underneath them, or the soft fabrics of the bedspread. Almost as if it were....
"Hey Lou? Has anything like, I don't know, worn off for you yet? I'm still seeing stuff at full force here."
Louis looked at him carefully, then to the rest of the room, "Nope, I'm still seeing everything, man." He plopped himself on the bed, pulling the covers over him, "But at this point I don't care, we'll deal with all of this tomorrow when our heads are screwed on correctly."
"Can’t really argue with that, not much we can do like this," Ambrose went to the other side of the bed, "When we're all nice and human again, I'm definitely paying those two a nice little visit." He growled.
"No, don't do anything too rash, we outta let's this whole thing play out legally man, as much as it pains me to say. You don't need threatening and-or assaulting an officer added to the list."
"I know, but...the way they treated us..."
"...Is the status quo for those kinds of people, a god complex. Give them a badge and gun and suddenly they think they have the right to beat their insecurities into the average citizen," Louis rolled over in the sheets, away from Ambrose, "Now, night night, Amby."
"But it's still day outside."
"Night night, Amby."
Ambrose rolled his eyes and pulled his sheets over him. Eventually the two found themselves drifting off into a deep, and very much needed, sleep.
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Somepony's in denial~.
Those two are in for a rude awakening tomorrow. The only question is will they keep rationalizing it as them tripping out still and hallucinating an entire world somehow or will one of them realize that this is actually real.
fun chapter, not much speculation going on looks like they really are in Equestria now and are the princesses welcomed guests.
Heh, they called him Mellow Yellow and he's mad about them. In a sense.