Cream Heart was already ahead of the game, having taken an extra banana from the buffet the previous night. "You better appreciate what I'm doing for you," she said to her belly between her bouts of technicolor yawns.

I had to look up 'technicolor yawn'. You learn something new everyday,

"It's so unfair that I have to be hungover after a night that I didn't even get to drink!" Stellar complained, likewise praying at the porcelain altar before staggering back to her bed for her delivered breakfast platter.

Loving all of these colorful metaphors for puking.

The supernumerary seats had been removed and there were only the specialized lounge chairs arranged in a half circle.

Another word I had to google. "More seats than are typical in a setting". So they removed the extra chairs and you managed to illiterate that and reduce it to two words. That is scary efficient! Add a hyphen to 'half-circle'.

In front of them was Ms. Harshwhinny's chair. Each of the mares settled into a lounge chair, Cream and Posy were in the middle two chairs, while Velvet and Stellar were in the ones on the end, looking across at each other in the semi circle.

Suggest a hyphen here too. The hyphens aren't honestly that important but I'm just suggesting it because what else am I supposed to do?

"Good morning ladies.

Comma after morning. This error is serious if we assume there is such a thing as a "good morning lady" we can confuse this statement with.

But you will have a chance to speak soon.

Yes, the condemned will be allowed to speak in their defense at this Stalin show-trial. Who the fuck are they kidding? God, I hope this 'resort' gets fucking hellfire'd. This Is just evil.

"... Um... hello?" Zephyr's voice came out of the speaker lodged in his mother's pussy.

Just to clarify.

Harshwhinny looked up as Posy. Her face was flushed and she was sweating. "You weren't, by chance, masturbating inside your mother's uterus just now, were you?"

"..."

"Zephyr?"

"... Maybe."

As much as I'd love to shit on Zephyr, let's be real, biological processes need to be tended to. I can't blame him.

"Well I'm going to tell you why!"

Well, we both know why I've tagged this sentence. Comma after well.

"Well I'm going to tell you why!" she said with smile. "Because now that your body is linked with your mother's again, you are not masturbating yourself. You are masturbating her."

"Oh my goodness," Posy whined and covered her face with her hooves again.

That is... kinda hot. Not gonna lie.

As mothers you have always put the happiness of your foals before your own.

Comma after mother's.

Harshwhinny grinned. "But here's the rub.

EYYYYYYYY!

"Oh, no. Trust me, you don't want a son like Zephyr-" Posy covered her mouth. "I'm sorry Zeph!" she said to her belly. "I hope you didn't hear that. I didn't mean it!"

I can see where Fluttershy gets her cutting, brutal honesty!

"Now why don't you tell us more about the kind of colt your son used to be?" Harshwhinny asked.

The clause shifts from a statement to a question. Comma after 'now' where the shift happens.

"Well, I don't know..." Posy started. "He used to be such a sweet little thing. Though he was a little bit of a late bloomer. He didn't stop breastfeeding until after he got his cutie mark."

Oh fuck, that is hot. I dunno why, it just is!

"Yes. And well, once he started getting erections during feeding time, that should have been the first sign. But he didn't want to stop. And I was too weak to say no. But then when he kept 'accidentally' suckling my clitoris, I had to put my hoof down."

If Oedipus were force power, not even Rey Skywalker could beat this guy. Also, fuck me if that isn't hot too. Goddamit, Shakes, stop turning me on thinking about Worst Character taking advantage of his pushover of a mom!

"The final time was the last straw. I had scolded him before about his little 'accidents'. He drank all the milk from both of my teats, and he wanted to 'give me a hug', he said. He shimmied up along my body to hug me and he 'accidentally' pushed his penis into my vagina. I told him 'no' but he said he just wanted to 'hug me' and he wanted to kiss me. I stopped him and he knew he went too far."

Shakes, you are killing your boi right now! Oh my GOD!

"Seems like a missed opportunity," Stellar said. "I would have let him have sex with me if I had been in your horseshoes."

Stellar has no chill whatsoever. Unicorns are natural-born inbreeders, I swear.

I made sure he did well in school and got him into the Royal Guard Officer Academy. I worked so SO hard to groom him into the perfect stallion and what do I get? For him to just be up and taken away by some other mare?"

That's the idea, you weirdo.

"She didn't raise him. She didn't put the work into him that I did! I did everything for him for so long and she gets to enjoy the benefits of him! I..." Twilight's eyes went wide in the revelation. "I feel like a cuck! Is that weird? Is that weird for me to say that?"

Not if you've read the copypasta, no.

"For a long time, I actually thought he was a stallion-stuffer. That is until I found out he was dating his marefriend. Of course, they said they were just friends. But I could tell. The way he looked at her. He wanted her. Not me, her! Even when she was so obviously a mare muncher with that magician marefriend of hers. And then he had the gall to complain about mare troubles to ME. When I was giving him a mare solution!" Stellar calmed herself. "I wanted him to give me grandfoals. And I'm not getting any younger. So if I must do it myself, it had to be now or never."

Rarely in my time reading a work of fiction have I ever wanted to rescue a guy as much as poor Sunburst here. That poor, poor sob. This whacko is going to break him off inside of her given half a chance.

Button Mash was momentarily weightless as his mother jumped through the air and splashed down into the water. Diving under, she briefly became an equine submarine.

Button lives in an equine submarine. An equine submarine.

I practically had to buy tissues by the pallet. And that was when he would choose to use them, instead of something else, somewhere else. And let me tell you, he could be quite creative.

I used to know a guy who joked he'd love his own "goo room" just to fire off a load into and walk away from. You meet some interesting characters when you unload trucks onto pallets at a grocery store.

"For example, he went through a phase where he insisted on using my panties to masturbate, cum in them, and then put them back in my drawer! Can you imagine waking up in the early morning, trying to get dressed in the dark, and feeling your son's spooge against your marehood?"

"Mmm," Stellar moaned.

Stellar's mad pervert energy is growing on me. Jesus, she sounds like I do in a Discord chat.

"... So? How did it taste?" Velvet asked

"Minty fresh," Cream said.

"Really?" Posy asked.

"No! Obviously it tasted like cum," Cream said.

I laughed hard on that one. Thanks for that.

Aloe and Lotus went around the half-circle,

You did it correctly this time. This means your earlier hyphen errors count against you. Sorry.

"You know what?" Cream said. "I'm not even mad. I'm actually impressed!"

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This entire conversation sums up my opinion of the story at this point. I'm liking and favoriting this. I wasn't sure what to expect after the first two chapters but the characters in this story are fucking gold.

"It was April Foals Day!

Okay, this is extremely petty but you forgot the apostrophe at the end of 'Foals''.

"...yeah."

It's a Clopficsinthecomments paragraph. Ack! I can't tell you with 100% certainty that a continuation paragraph should always be capitalized because I'm a half-educated poor person but if that's not already a rule, it should be. It looks so heinous having isolated paragraphs without capitalization. Haram!

Well it looks like we still have a lot of work ahead of us before we can raise the 'Mission Accomplished' banner. Isn't that right, Captain Armor?"

Comma after well.

"WHAT!? I can't believe Cadance told you about that! Mom, having her roleplay as you is NOT the same as actually wanting to have sex with you!"

If exists = true, it kinda does. If exists = false, it's still true, I just don't have to care.

"And I certainly wasn't planing on having a foal with your biological father.

You have a misspelling here.

I understand that you might think that your mother is selfish, or that she only acts in self-interest without regards for you or your feelings.

The second statement only serves to restate the first in more precise language. I'd change 'or' to 'and'

Harshwhinny looked around the room. "I've been doing this program for a long time, Sunburst. Now, I know your mother's Jocasta complex is a bit stronger than most.

To put it lightly...

"Now just a moment, Ms. Flare," Harshwhinny said. "Your pregnant connection to your foal is just as real this time. If you drink alcohol, you could still kill him."

"Not the worst thing," Posy said. "Maybe I should. I think I deserve a drink."

Alas, if I only I got my wish.

You certainly swung me this story in a big way and I'm looking forward to the next chapter.

"Well, I'm going to tell you why!" she said with smile. "Because now that your body is linked with your mother's again, you are not masturbating yourself . You are masturbating her ."

That's kinky shit! Lol!