Equestria's Ray of Hope

by The_Darker_Fonts

His Heart

Two days and two nights had gone by as smoothly as Ray and the others had hoped for. Tuesday with Rainbow had been a whole bout of fun sports and a carefreeness that Ray hadn’t expected to ever feel again, and at night he had slept dreamlessly with the help of the shopkeeper's sleeping powder. In the morning he had made his way to Rarity’s boutique by racing the pegasus, nearly beating her in spite of her physical prowess. They proceeded to race to Sugarcube Corner, and while he hadn’t beaten the wily pegasus in the sprint, he did take pride in the fact that he had barely broken a sweat in the process.

From there, Pinkie Pie had used him as a glorified packing mule to carry as many baked goods as possible to as many different houses as possible. Unlike the Pinkie Luna had conveyed, the real deal hadn’t even waited a day to begin baking again, though because of her condition, she hadn’t been able to start moving around until a few days later, she was behind on deliveries. Thanks to the countless hours of training, as well as the numerous exerting outings he had gone on, he was able to carry the whole load the entire time, the pair and newborn foal crossing through the town in only a couple of hours. From there he had assisted her in baking several treats for them and some of the others who lived and worked at the bakery, while also “properly” meeting Lil’ Cheese.

Then came today.

Ray stared at Fluttershy’s house with a deep sigh, the nameless emotion almost completely consuming him as he stared at the cottage on the outskirts of town. He didn’t quite know why he dreaded this day so much, but it was undeniable that there was some sort of rift that had begun to form between him and her, beyond their conflicting views of his mission. For some reason she had expressly avoided talking to him, beyond just in the meeting, but outside of it as well. He couldn’t read minds, but he knew that most likely it had to do with more than just the severity of the Spectre’s presence in him.

Shaking his head, he forced a final sigh out of him and straightened his tunic, offhandedly fingering the knife in his belt as he raised a hand to knock on the door. There was no need, apparently, because as he went to bang on the old wooden door, it opened broadly, Fluttershy standing in the doorway. He gasped slightly at seeing her so close to him, only a few feet away, compared to at the meeting, when she wouldn’t stand less than ten feet away. The moment was lost as she silently took a few steps back to allow him entry.

Clearing his throat from the sudden rush of emotion that had overtaken him, he bent down to clear the doorway. He hadn’t remembered needing to duck down as low before, but that was the effect of time on him. Closing the door carefully behind him, he watched as the mare simply walked away, towards the back of her house. Ray opened his mouth to say something but was immediately distracted by a small ball of white fluff moving towards him in a most aggressive way.

“Oh, hey Angel,” Ray asked with a cocksure smile as the little bunny leapt at his feet. “I can see that hibernation didn’t do anything for your spirit. Unfortunately, I don’t have Ohs with me today. She’s probably busy fixing up the nest in the little flower bed Fluttershy set up outside my bedroom window.”

“They're called window boxes,” Fluttershy suddenly spoke, walking back into the room with a tray occupied by two cups and a teapot in her hooves. “It isn’t a very fancy name by any means, but you don’t want to get that wrong in front of an earth pony. Especially with a gardening Cutie mark.”

Smiling at the sudden and welcome sound of Fluttershy’s soft voice, he took the tray from her and set it on the small table in the living room. “Well, I would hate to offend anypony in their field of work,” Ray said. “I mean, where would we be without gardening?”

“Well, we wouldn’t be happy, that’s certain,” Fluttershy answered honestly. “No yummy tomatoes or carrots, nice heads of lettuce or any of the other greens that we ponies rely on.” A familiar shy smile was allotted to him for a brief second before she suddenly glanced away as if spooked. “We don’t have to worry about that, though.”

His own smile faltered as a sudden cold overtook the room. Reaching for the teapot, he poured out some of the steaming liquid into one of the cups, offering it to the cream mare. She took it silently, sipping the tea without a glance up at him, that same expression from a couple of days ago plastered on her face. What he had done to deserve the sudden silent treatment, he didn’t know, but allowing himself to believe it was just the usual shy, awkward tension between the two of them, he nodded in feigned understanding and took a sip of the tea itself.

His lips pursed ever so slightly at the sweetness of the tea. Apparently Fluttershy had already added the sugar to the tea, in spite of having probably never done that before. Squinting slightly at the liquid, he asked, “Is this jasmine?”

“Rooibos,” the pegasus responded softly, dipping her own cup back to her lips. “It needs the sugar or else it will be too bitter to drink.”

“Huh,” Ray muttered with a sideways glance as he raised the cup to his lips once again. Without thinking, he bit back, “Bitterness never did anything to me.”

Fluttershy paused as Ray bit down on his cheek, instantly knowing he had pressed the point too quickly. The mare glanced at him from beneath her long pink hair before lowering her eyes back down to her cup, taking a sip. As soon as she swallowed, she stated, “I feel like there’s a double meaning to that.”

“And I know there’s a double meaning to this whole tea party,” Ray retorted, setting his cup to the side as he prepared for what was surely to come. “So, why don’t we stop beating around the bush and face the beast itself instead. Why are you being so difficult?”

“Is it really that hard of a question to answer,” Fluttershy rebutted, practically slamming her own cup down. “Do you really think I’m the one at fault here for the miles between us right now?”

“Well, I mean, you have been the one going out of her way to avoid talking to me,” Ray responded with a slight hand wave. “The others were perfectly fine with me explaining everything about the Spectre and the danger I believe it could pose to everybody if it possesses me.” There was a pause for a brief moment as he saw Fluttershy’s stare harden into something that wasn’t quite a glare, but just as dangerous. “Is that what it is then? Are you afraid that the Spectre changes everything about me, that it is going to make me into something worse than what I already am? Or are you worried that the actions I take to protect everyone from it will change the plan and possibly destroy me? You know, I remember a time when we agreed to talk these things out. Since when did you get so cold about what’s going on in my head?”

“Since you decided to completely cut me out of your life,” Fluttershy instantly responded, a cold frown to go with it. “I’ve only given you a taste of what you put me through.”

“That’s ridiculous, I haven’t and would never do anything to hurt you,” Ray told her, shaking his head at the absurdity of what she was saying. “You’re one of the most important parts of my life.”

“Then when was the last time you talked to me,” she inquired simply, folding her hooves as she stared him down.

Ray paused for a moment, his mind instantly searching for the last time he could remember talking to her. At the docks, surely, right? He knew she had been there with the others; he could swear he had seen her there… but maybe they hadn’t ended up talking with the chaos of embarking. Slowly, he thought further and further back, straining for a memory of talking to her in the past month, then the past two, and then three.

“It’s been four months since I’ve heard a word from you, Ray,” Fluttershy suddenly said, her voice wavering as she hid behind her hair. “Four months of you going on and on, constantly training and preparing, pushing forward to become the best soldier and general you can while leaving everything and everypony else behind. I thought for sure you would realize at some point that you were no longer attending our Thursday tea parties. I thought for sure that next week that extra spot would be taken. Every week I was wrong, though.”

Ray felt a frigid wave sweep through him, his chest tightening with sudden guilt at everything he had done and not done. He remembered now, the last time he had talked to her. It had been while he was preparing to go back down into the Harkening for a long training exercise that would take weeks. He had teased her that this time he was returning back down there announced so she wouldn’t have to worry. And now, four months and a little longer later, he was finally talking to her once again.

“Fluttershy, I am… I am so sorry, I didn’t realize…” Ray trailed off, biting down on his lip. With a deep sigh, he shook his head at himself, lowering himself and resting his elbows on his knees while putting his face in his hands. “There’s no excuse for that. I never meant to be so… ignorant. What… what do you want from me?”

Before he could realize what was happening, Fluttershy was suddenly wrapping her hooves around his chest, her fuzzy head and soft mane pressing into his neck in a tight hug. Inhaling sharply at the sudden embrace, Ray slowly dropped his own arms around the mare and pulled her in closer, licking his lips as he stared over her head as he processed what was going on. Of course the Element of Kindness would be so forgiving, but in his heart he knew he both didn’t deserve her forgiveness this quickly and that she would need proof he wouldn’t leave her like this again. With a slow lowering of his head, he put his mouth next to her ear, he once again asked hushly, “What do you want me to do for you?”

Fluttershy took a moment to talk, simply tightening her own grip around his chest as if she were afraid he was going to end their embrace. Finally, she whispered back, “I want you to bring me with you to the Harkening the next time you need to go down there.”

Grimacing at the request, he reminded her, “The Harkening is in the bottom of Tartarus, where both light and life come only from the small plants that manage to grow there. It is not meant for ponies to visit, much less stay.”

“I’ll follow you there anyway, even if you don’t want me too,” the mare said determinedly into his chest.

“I didn’t say no,” Ray told her. “I was just giving you a fair warning. There are things and creatures you will see on your way there that you must simply keep moving past. Life in the caves of Tartarus is not life, but survival, and as such, a much more bare and rugged patch of Equestria.”

“You make it sound exciting,” she joked, giggling into his chest. Smiling down at her, he let one of his hands slowly pat her neck, scratching her fur how he had learned ponies liked it. A soft silence fell between them as they shared the embrace for a long moment, Ray staring at the ceiling over their heads as Fluttershy leaned into him. His smile slowly became a frown as the inevitable thought of how soon he would have to leave crept into his mind, but Fluttershy must have sensed his mood becoming drearier. She sat upright, pulling back slightly to look him in the eye as she smiled and said, “Our tea is getting cold, and rooibos isn’t a tea you want cold.”

“I’ll take your word for it,” he replied, leaning back as well to allow her to leave his embrace. He reached over as she bounced off him, grabbing his cup and tipping it to his mouth, taking a small sip of the sweet beverage. After Fluttershy had settled back into her seat with her own cup, he commented, “Ohs has her own chicks now. She decided to build her own nest and everything to prepare for spring and whatnot.”

“I know, she told me the day after they hatched while she was searching for worms,” the mare replied, smiling. “And her mate, Cunning, I know him too. He was raised in a nest on this very tree. I got to name him since the mother couldn’t think of six different names at once. He decided to keep it even after he grew up. Did you know Cantolina wrens mate for life?”

“No, I didn’t even know what the name of Ohs’ species was,” he admitted with a sip of tea. “But that’s pretty nice. I guess I’ll be seeing a lot of him then, too.”

“Yeah, hopefully he gets along with you just as well as Otolo does,” she told him with a smile.

“Oh, you mean randomly pecking my face and pulling out my hair for his nest,” Ray questioned with a chuckle. “If he is the opposite of Ohs, then we’ll get along splendidly, but then again, I don’t doubt Ohs is gonna teach her kids exactly who I am and how to mess with me.”

“Yeah, exactly, I don’t know what there’s not to look forward to,” Fluttershy beamed smugly. “Honestly, I think you don’t love your avian friend as much as you claim.”

“Well, I mean, we can have differing views, but that doesn’t mean we don’t care about each other,” he replied absently, smiling at the mare as he took a sip of tea. “I guess we all have to learn to accept the differences of others at some point in time. It’s how we move on, after all.”

“Yes, that’s very true,” Fluttershy agreed wholeheartedly, sipping from her own tea. “You know, we don’t have to sit around and talk all day. It’s a beautiful day outside, and the lake will be warm this time of summer, so if you want, we can go swimming down there.”

“Are you just saying that to get a peek at what’s under my shirt,” Ray teased, expecting the shy mare to blush at the jest.

Instead, she merely shrugged, commenting, “It’s nothing I haven’t seen before. I guess you did add to it, though. Why do you care?”

“Gah, it’s a human thing,” he waved aside, realizing it wasn’t really worth the effort to try and explain what humans were attracted to. “Usually, a guy as in shape as I’ve gotten would be considered a ‘jock’, which some girls would find attractive and whatnot. Humans are weird though, so just don’t mind what I said.”

“Well, I’ve noticed that humans are rather strange,” Fluttershy teased, pointing a hoof at him. “After all, you aren’t quite anything like any animal, pony, or creature I’ve ever seen before.”

“I mean, being from another dimension feels like a cheat card in that aspect,” Ray pointed out, downing that last of his tea. The conversation halted as he watched Fluttershy take another miniscule sip of her own beverage, half of her cup still remaining. Taking a moment to actually think of her offer to go to the lake, he finally said, “I don’t necessarily want to go to the lake. Like you said, it’s a perfect day, which means about half of the town will be there as well, and considering how I look physically, well I don’t think it would be very wise to go there. Besides, everybody in town who doesn’t know me still treats me… weird.”

“That seems to be a human thing too, attracting attention.”

“It’s a byproduct of it for sure, but also considering that my behavior would be considered… bizarre in my world, it’s a personal quirk,” Ray replied with a smirk. Fluttershy giggled at the statement, sipping from her cup one last time and draining the remainder of it.

“Well, I’m done with my tea now, so you don’t have to wait on me any longer. What do you want to do together?”

“Honestly, talking like this is exactly what I want to do, but maybe we could go for a walk while we talk.”

“I would enjoy stretching my legs some,” the mare agreed as she stood, flexing one of her hind legs as she set her cup aside. “It’s admittedly been a very long time since I’ve taken any sort of walk, even though spring was just a couple months ago. I guess I’ve just been a bit preoccupied to enjoy the smaller moments like a nice nighttime walk.”

“Nighttime,” Ray yelped, alarmed at how much time they had taken with their tea. Whipping around and looking out the window, he saw that, in fact, it was barely noon, only about an hour from his actual arrival. “Geez, you scared me, making me think our time was up already.”

“Time does have a tendency to shorten our fun, but luckily there’s a long while before we have to turn in for the night,” Fluttershy reassured him with a beaming smile. “I was just saying nighttime because it is my favorite time to take a walk, under the stars and in the cool when all of the lightning bugs come out.”

“Yes, I’ve grown rather fond of night here in Equestria as well, the strange and unique sky,” Ray agreed. “Back in Pittsburgh, I was never able to see the stars ‘cause of all the light pollution from the city. I only saw our true night sky in campy photos plastered in cheap ads or in science books. At this point, I’m more familiar with the Equestrian night sky than Earth’s.”

“Is that… a sad thing,” Fluttershy hesitated to ask.

“No, I don’t think it is. In fact, the distinction is kinda nice. Even in Canterlot, Equestria’s largest city, I’m able to see every star at night.” Ray paused, glancing towards the mare and gesturing slightly towards the door. “You good to go right now, or do you wanna grab something?”

“I’m ready to leave whenever,” she replied brightly. “I want to walk around towards the back forests to the west, not in the Everfree. It gets much too humid and muggy under the canopy to enjoy, and usually a cloud of mosquitoes follows you the whole time. It’s just a bit more of a walk, if you don’t mind.”

Giving her a smug smirk, he spread his arms in a soft display of his body, replying, “I’ve been doing nothing but training for hours on end for weeks on end. A few miles are my warmup.”

Fluttershy nodded acceptantly at the response, though as she passed him to get the door, she asked keenly, “Then why do you keep losing those silly races to Rainbow Dash?”

“My goodness, you’re on a roll with the sharp banter today, aren’t you,” he laughed, turning and opening the door for her, following her out into the bright sunlight. The mare didn’t respond, simply smiling at him from over her shoulder, causing him to chuckle even more. “Not just banter, then. I guess it’s my just desserts.”

“I guess I’m just a little vengeful about being ignored, but that’s now past us,” she said, looking up into the sky. Ray’s gaze followed hers, staring at the bright blue sky dotted occasionally by fat, puffy white clouds. One had drifted in front of the sun, shading them briefly as they began their journey, walking off the path and downhill towards the creek bed that ran along her house. They stepped through the cool water side-by-side, ascending up the other side of the hill and facing towards the calm forests only a couple miles west.

They took their time walking towards the inviting canopy, conversation rising and dying from time to time, but they traveled happily even in silence. In the past weeks, Ray hadn’t had a moment to be alone save for sleeping, but nonetheless he realized that he had been feeling more and more lonely. Now however, talking with Fluttershy as they navigated towards the forest, he felt fulfilled once again, the hollow solitude he had wrapped himself in while he focused solely on his mission had slipped off. He smiled earnestly now, feeling the warmth of the sun and of the kind, tender mare he shared the day with.

He was very quickly coming to terms with his feelings for Fluttershy, the way he truly needed her in a different way than either of them expected. He loved her, but in a way that was not so obvious or romantic as Discord, rather, he loved her the way that a man loves a drink of water in the desert. When he arrived, she was the first thing he attached himself to, the anchor he required to ground himself in a world he had been thrown into. Maybe it was the chaos and confusion of arrival, or because he was simply a kid who wasn’t very good at compromising with his emotions, but he had fooled himself into thinking he was in love with her. It was blatantly obvious how untrue that was, now that he was looking back on it. The painful truth had actually been an alleviating cure to his emotion sickness that had plagued him endlessly.

In truth, she was not his true love, nor was she even a romantic attraction anymore, but something much more important to him. She was his guiding light, the one he could barely see through the darkness and constantly struggling to follow, but there whenever he looked. He needed her, elsewise he would end up becoming what Twilight feared he might be and what the Spectre wanted to turn him into. It was clear now that he had been, and still was, lost to the darkness of his own mind and actions, a heartless wretch that would have become worse save it for one thing. He had found something to replace his heart, something too beautiful and too kind to be born for war. And now that he discovered it, he swore to himself that even his body and spirit were shattered, his heart would continue beating without him.

Author's Note:

Maybe unexpected, maybe not, but regardless this is the end of the romance between Ray and Fluttershy. Maybe...

As always, comments, questions, and concerns are all welcome and wanted!

Comments

[Bronyshot2020]

Yay they somewhat made up

[Calmflame]

Interesting chapter, and so soon after the previous. Today is a good day.😁

[paladinwolf]

That last bit reminds me of Babylon 5, Mister Lennier to be specific...
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His love was a higher kind as well... But even the best of us can fall... I wonder if this is a setup for Ray to stumble, or perhaps fall...

[The_Darker_Fonts]

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This chapter and the previous one were meant to be in the same chapter, but I figured to reintroduce the two and then immediately resolve the conflict was a bit too much.
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This was always the endgame of their relationship (partly cuz of their conflicting character traits and partly cuz I find human-pony relationships... weird), which turned out much better than I ever anticipated. It was fun to write a deep fake romance.
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"The musings of the reader are entertaining to the author." - The_Darker_Fonts