Little Keys

by Skijarama

A Somber Revelation

When moving faster than the speed of sound, it didn’t take Rainbow very long to get back to the library. She grit her teeth and flared her wings to slow herself down when it came into view. Her wing joints burned from the pressure being placed on them, and the faintest hint of vertigo tickled the back of her mind, but she forced herself to power through it until, at last, her hooves met the solid ground. She staggered forward into the front door and took a second to catch her breath.

“I am probably gonna regret that in the morning,” she thought with an unamused snort before bodying the door open. Spike was there, just coming down the stairs from the loft.

He jumped in surprise on spotting her, his eyes flying wide. “Woah! That was fast!”

“Spike,” Rainbow said in a deadpan, nudging the door shut with her back leg. “It’s me. Fast is kinda the name of the game.”

Spike blinked, then nodded along. “Er, right, yeah. Sorry, I’m just-”

“How is she?”

Spike went rigid, his posture sagging. The tips of his claws tapped anxiously together, and he looked up and over his shoulder at the door leading to Rainbow and Twilight’s bedroom. “She… she still isn’t coming out,” he mumbled quietly. “And she still won’t let me in, either. But, uh, well, in the time it took you to get here, it sounds like she’s at least calmed down a little bit. I think.”

Rainbow nodded, her eyes focusing on the door in question. If Twilight was calming down, that was a good sign. No risk of a repeat of Midnight—at least, not straight away. Still, she wasn’t keen on leaving Twilight on her own, at least not until she had some assurance that she was going to be fine.

Rainbow looked back down at Spike. “Alright. You go ahead and chill out down here. I’ll handle this,” she instructed simply. Spike nodded and backed away before wandering off. Rainbow didn’t pay much attention to where he went. She simply began the climb up to the door. She came to a stop once she reached it, placing her ear up to it to listen in on her significant other.

On the other side of the door, she could just make out the sound of Twilight breathing. Deep, rhythmic breaths, slow and even. Rainbow’s brow furrowed. “Must be doing that meditating thing Aunt Luna taught her…” she pondered. She hesitated for a moment, wondering if she really wanted to disrupt whatever serenity Twilight had managed to find.

She quickly cast her hesitation aside, though. Twilight had been deeply upset not all that long ago and had probably resorted to the meditation to cope. It wasn’t a sign that she had actually gotten better. Simply that she was trying.

With that thought echoing in her mind, Rainbow cleared her throat and gently knocked on the door. “Hey… Twi? You in there?” she called out, doing her best to keep her voice soft and gentle in spite of its natural rasp.

The breathing on the other side of the door cut off for a second. Then came a gentle rustling, and the sound of hooves shuffling slowly across the wooden floor. They drew closer and closer until Twilight spoke from the other side of the door.

“I… I’m here.”

Rainbow wilted. She sounded so tired. Not surprising, given how she had slept, but… no, this was a different kind of tired. This was mental fatigue. Emotional. Rainbow’s own intimate familiarity with such things let her pick it out with only a moment of thought. She shook herself and spoke again. “You okay? You gave AJ and I one heck of a scare.”

A pause. “...I’m sorry. I wasn’t trying to scare you or anything. I was just… I needed to be alone for a little while.”

Rainbow quirked a brow. “...Pretty sure you were alone, Twi. Unless that tree you blew up could talk. In which case, we got a whole new problem on our hooves.”

That got the desired result, a quiet snort of amusement from the other side of the door. There was another pause, followed by a sigh. “...No, the tree wasn’t talking. I was just…”

She didn’t continue. It felt like an eternity as the two fell into silence, and Rainbow’s heart began to twist in her chest. She remembered all the times she had fled from her friends when her own psyche had begun to break down. It had taken her far, far too long to stop doing that, and now Twilight was doing the exact same thing. Hiding away, and when somepony came asking after her, she just couldn’t find her words.

Rainbow slowly lifted a hoof up and placed it against the door. She imagined Twilight doing the same thing on the other side. A grimace came over Rainbow’s muzzle. To be separated by a thin, brittle sheet of wood that could easily be broken by either of them… were they both not so scared of breaking the fragile peace of the library.

“So… can I come in?” Rainbow asked after a minute, though she had a feeling she knew the answer already.

There was a brief silence before the answer came. The door swung open with a barely audible click. Rainbow withered on the spot at the sight of Twilight’s expression. If she had been exhausted before, she looked to be on the verge of collapse now. The bags under her eyes were so much heavier than before, and the eyes themselves had gone red and puffy. There were still visible marks on her cheeks where tears had passed.

“Oh, Twilight…” Rainbow breathed, her ears resting flat against her head.

Twilight looked down, almost as if she were ashamed, and backed out of Rainbow’s way. The pegasus slipped into the room and shut the door behind her without a word, unable to tear her eyes away from the only other mare in the room. She worked her jaw up and down, trying to find the words, but what could she say? Without knowing what it was that had sent Twilight spiraling like this, her words would all be blind shots in the dark, but prying to find out what had happened ran the risk of breaking the all-too-fragile composure Twilight had managed to pull together.

Twilight looked down and away, anxiously rubbing her shoulder. Her eyes fixated on one spot on the floor, while an uncomfortable grimace made itself known on her muzzle. Every so often, her gaze flicked back to Rainbow before returning to the floor.

She just looked so fragile. A lump formed in Rainbow’s throat, and she couldn’t help but be reminded of herself in Hollow Shades. How she hadn’t been able to meet the gaze of the mare she loved, how she had been withdrawn, quiet, and barely able to keep herself together. That memory compelled her to reach out and pull Twilight into a tight hug, eliciting a startled squeak from the mare.

Neither of them said a word for several seconds. Twilight slowly returned the embrace. Her grip was tight, almost as if she were afraid she might fall to her death if she lost her hold. Rainbow buried her face in Twilight’s mane, nuzzling her affectionately, before placing her lips by Twilight’s ear. “What happened?”

Twilight shuddered, but she did not answer at first. When she did speak, it was in halting, hesitant words, as if she weren’t even sure of what she was saying.

“I, um… It’s just… It all just got to me, you know?” she stammered out slowly. “Being banished from Canterlot, my parents, the Elements, the Tree, the chest… It all got brought to the front by that s-stupid dream, and...”

Rainbow’s brow furrowed, thinking back to that morning. She felt a chill race down her spine at the idea that Twilight’s nightmare had been sufficiently harrowing to make her break down like this. The more she thought about it, though, the more sense it made. Twilight had been anxious, out of it, and on edge all day.

She leaned back to look into Twilight’s bloodshot eyes, her expression twisting with sympathy. “Are you sure you don’t wanna talk about it?” she asked slowly.

Twilight looked down at the floor. “I… I don’t know,” she whimpered.

Rainbow pursed her lips, trying to figure out what she was supposed to do here. Twilight was obviously stressed, and whatever she had dreamed about had her shaking in her skin. It must have been pretty bad. Her mind wandered back over the events of the day, hoping to see if she could find any clues as to what the dream might have been about, and her thoughts drifted back to what Applejack had said.

“...She told me ‘bout how much she’s been upset with the princesses lately, and about how much it’s makin’ her angry that she can’t go home and see her parents. But then she said somethin’ real weird-like. Said that some nightmare she’d had weren’t a regular nightmare…”

Rainbow blinked, her eyes widening slightly. She looked down at Twilight a moment later, her brow furrowing in thought. “...Applejack mentioned that you thought it wasn’t a regular nightmare. What did you mean by that?” she asked slowly.

Twilight visibly tensed at the question. She suddenly drew back out of Rainbow’s hooves, a wide-eyed look of fear on her face. “S-she said that?” she stammered a moment later, forcing out a nervous chuckle. “H-heh, uh, I th-think she might have been exaggerating a bit.”

Rainbow’s frown deepened. Something was wrong. Twilight’s ears were swiveling to face somewhere else, but there was no other sound in the room. It was just them, and they were alone.

Rainbow took a ginger step forward, tilting her head. “Er, that’s not really AJ’s style. You know that, right? She doesn’t lie, and if anything, she usually downplays stuff,” she pointed out.

Twilight swallowed heavily.

Now Rainbow was really worried. No longer was she just concerned for Twilight’s emotional state. Something else was going on. Twilight was hiding something from her, and whatever it was, it terrified her.

“O-oh, uh… w-well, I,” Twilight stammered out, unable to form a proper counter. Her face began to twitch every so often, her muscles tensing again. Rainbow leaned back in surprise when Twilight let off a barely audible growl of frustration, and her pupils dilated somewhat. Her ears flicked again.

Rainbow faltered. The sheer fear and confusion in Twilight’s eyes were heartbreaking in their own right. What in the world could have led her to such a broken state? And even more importantly, what could possibly have happened in that dream that made her not want to share it? And what made it ‘not a normal nightmare?’ The only thing Rainbow could think of that could have possibly been responsible for that was the Tantabus, but Luna had destroyed that mistake years ago.

No, this was something else. And Rainbow meant to get to the bottom of it.

She set her jaw, her expression hardening. “Twilight. Tell me what’s going on,” she commanded softly. A moment later, she found she couldn’t maintain the intensity and lowered her voice. “...Please.”

Twilight watched her for several long seconds. She shook her head stiffly. “I can’t,” she choked out in barely even a whisper.

Rainbow frowned in confusion. “What do you mean you can’t?”

Twilight didn’t say anything else. She just backed away some more, looking down at the floor.

Rainbow followed after her, her ears lowering. “Twilight… c’mon. Don’t you trust me?” she prodded gently. She wasn’t fond of trying to play the guilt card, especially in this kind of scenario, but desperate times called for desperate measures, and she needed to know what was wrong.

“W-with my life,” Twilight replied weakly.

“Then tell me what’s going on,” Rainbow insisted, lifting a hoof to reach out to Twilight. “Please… I love you, Twilight. I don’t like seeing you like this. Let me help you. I want- No, I need to help you. But I can’t do that if you don’t trust me to try.”

Rainbow slightly relaxed when Twilight took a few seconds to breathe, slowly calming down. It seems it had worked, even if only a little bit. After a few seconds, Twilight nodded towards the bed. “Okay… okay. I’ll tell you about my nightmare. Just… promise me you won’t be mad at me?”

Rainbow quirked a brow. “Why would I be mad at you for a dream?” she asked after a second. “That’d be kinda dumb.”

“Because…” Twilight paused, then let off a small snort of amusement. She shook her head. “No, nevermind. Just promise me, alright?”

Rainbow was a little confused, but then shrugged. “Er, okay. I mean, that wouldn’t happen anyway, but alright. I promise I won’t get mad at you for having a sucky dream. Here, I’ll even make it a Pinkie Promise!” she decided, quickly going through the associated motions.

“Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye.”

Twilight smiled softly at the display before hopping up onto the bed. She patted the space next to her, and Rainbow wasted no time in joining her. She draped a wing over the alicorn’s back, providing what warmth and comfort she could.

Twilight took in a deep breath and then launched into her story. “So… in my nightmare, I was walking up to Canterlot. I was gonna get in and go see my family. You know, a little surprise visit, since I’m not supposed to be up there. I figured, you know, slip in and out before anypony else noticed, don’t talk to anypony, and it would be fine. Just a harmless visit. But, well, I guess, in the dream, the princesses disagreed. The entire city had a magical barrier around it that kept me out.

“I threw everything I had at it, and I didn’t even make a dent. And I started getting so angry. I was screaming, and crying, and ranting my head off. Looking back, I sounded like an absolute lunatic. Eventually, my efforts stopped working, and, suddenly, I was in the cave with the Tree and the chest.”

Rainbow nodded along quietly. “Kay, I’m with ya so far…”

Twilight took a deep breath. “...Celestia and Luna were there. Celestia told me that I had to wait until my ‘work is done,’ I assume referring to that stupid chest. I argued with her, still angry. We argued back and forth, and, eventually, I… I…”

Twilight went silent. Rainbow frowned. “Eventually you… what?”

Twilight took a deep breath. “...I lunged at her. I went for her throat. I… I tried to kill her. I wanted to kill her!” she finally exclaimed, shuddering at the mere thought. She screwed her eyes shut, bowing her head under the strain. “I reached out to grab her by the neck and choke the life out of her! For that moment, I hated Celestia and Luna, and that scares me more than anything! I love those two! Why would I ever…?”

Rainbow blinked in surprise as Twilight trailed off. She had been expecting something bad, sure, but that wasn’t exactly what she had been picturing. In her nightmares, Rainbow had typically either been a victim of the violence, or a bystander unable to defend the ponies she loved. Her various nightmares about Starlight and Chrysalis wormed back into her mind, and she cringed at the memory.

Twilight’s dream was different in that she had been the aggressor. Rainbow was no psychologist, and so she could only guess that the emotional problem was very different. She knew that Twilight had still been carrying some leftover resentment towards Luna for how poorly the lunar alicorn had treated her during her time with amnesia, but she had assumed it was only for Luna. Not Celestia, too.

“Bah. this is all too complicated for me,” she thought in mild irritation. Besides, she had something more important to think about right now. Namely, the alicorn under her wing that seemed to be on the verge of breaking into sobs.

“Might as well dispel one of her fears.”

Rainbow leaned over to kiss Twilight on the cheek. That small act of affection elicited a tiny squeak of surprise from her, and a blush came to her cheeks. Rainbow smiled at her when she looked back. “Not gonna lie, that is kinda messed up,” she said in a casual, reassuring tone. “But come on, it was just a nightmare. Why would I get mad at you for something like that?”

Twilight blinked. “Because… I tried to kill your mother in it?”

“See, if you were awake and you tried that, I’d be livid,” Rainbow pointed out. “But you were asleep, and it was a dream. A nasty dream, totally, and it brings up a few really worrying questions about your mental health, but hey, I had really bad nightmares for how long? I ain’t gonna judge you for yours.”

A long silence followed that. After a few seconds, Twilight began to let out a few quiet giggles and leaned into Rainbow’s side a little more. Rainbow smiled genuinely and pulled the mare closer. That was a good sound. It was a little bit of progress, a step in the right direction.

“Sorry,” Twilight eventually managed to say between her quiet giggles. She wiped a hoof over her eyes and looked up at Rainbow. “I guess I was making it out to be a bigger deal than it was. I mean, I know that dreams are manifestations of our subconscious, so I guess I just assumed you’d think I hated your mom or something.”

“Twi, I have seen you suck up to mom more times than I could be bothered to count, and I tried when we were little,” Rainbow shot back with a roll of her eyes. “Not to mention that, before I came along, I am pretty sure she was like a mother figure to you, too.”

Twilight looked away. “Yeah, I guess… I mean, we were more like sisters back then, weren’t we? Which makes us being a couple now a little weird, doesn’t it?”

Rainbow shrugged. “I dunno. A little? Honestly, I never really bought into all of that ‘we’re like sisters’ crud anyway,” she dismissed.

Twilight giggled again, the sound music to Rainbow’s ears. “Oh, of course, you didn’t. You didn’t think about anything very much back then.”

Rainbow shot Twilight an irritated frown. “Wanna run that by me again, egghead?”

“Not especially.”

Rainbow grunted, then smirked affectionately. A few seconds later, Twilight cuddled closer to her and breathed out a relieved sigh. “Thank you, by the way… I’m starting to feel a little better,” she whispered.

Refocusing her attention on the matter at hoof, Rainbow nodded and gave Twilight another nuzzle. There couldn’t be too much affection right now, as far as she cared. “No problem. I’m always glad to help… although, you still haven’t told me what you meant when you told AJ the dream wasn’t normal.”

Twilight tensed under her, but not as much. A few seconds later, Twilight sighed and shook her head. “Nevermind. I haven’t really been at the wheel as much as I should be all day.”

Rainbow sighed, spotting the attempted deflection for what it was. “Twi, c’mon.”

There were several seconds of silence. Twilight turned away, her ears drooping. “...I can’t talk about it.”

“And why not?” Rainbow asked incredulously, her brow furrowing. “You just told me about how you went and tried to choke my mom out in your dream, but you can’t even tell me why it wasn’t a regular dream?”

Twilight continued to tense up, and Rainbow briefly contemplated backing off. “I just can’t, okay. Besides, it… it doesn’t matter.”

“It sounds like it matters to me,” Rainbow said with a frown. “I mean, yeah, I can get that you’d be mad at mom and aunt Luna for, ya know, all this. And while I’m not mad at you for having a dream like that, I am worried about what it means. I mean, strangling mom? That ain’t really… like you…”

Rainbow’s eyes slowly widened as a sudden realization dawned on her. This whole situation felt somewhat familiar to her. The roles had switched, but…

“...Every time I see you, I want to… hurt you… I want to make you pay…”

“Every time?” Starlight asked, her other eyebrow shooting up to join its twin. She watched as Rainbow nodded, then brought a hoof up to her chin. “Every time… That doesn’t sound right. There’s no way that should be happening.”

Rainbow’s turned to look at Starlight with a raised eyebrow of her own. “Huh?”

“Look, I can totally understand it if you have some… ah, lingering feelings of doubt or bitterness over what happened to your wing,” Starlight winced and looked away as she said that. “But you know that I’m innocent. You shouldn’t be feeling so angry towards me all the time. Not unless you just have a very poor grasp of reality.”

Rainbow frowned angrily at that remark before shaking her head. “I’m just gonna pretend you didn’t call me an idiot there and say yeah, you’re right, I shouldn’t be so angry and hostile towards you, but I am. I’m hoping that getting to know you better can help with that.”

Starlight brought a hoof up to her chin and let her eyes wander as she thought. “...Tell me, Rainbow. Does your anger towards me feel… normal for you?”

“Uh…” Rainbow blinked and took a step back. “What do you mean?”

Starlight’s eyes shifted for a moment before focusing on Rainbow’s. “Okay, think about Queen Chrysalis for a second. She invaded Canterlot so she could turn its population, your subjects, into food to be farmed. She then went and imprisoned your adoptive mother and aunt, probably after fighting them, which means she had to hurt them. Then, to top it all off, when you and Twilight tried to rescue the other Princesses, Chrysalis tried to kill you two outright. If Twilight hadn’t been as fast as she was to teleport us out, all three of us would have been reduced to ashes. All of that has got to be really upsetting to you, right?”

Rainbow nodded, her brow furrowing. “Yeah, of course, it's upsetting. I’m angry at Chrysalis and scared for my family. What are you getting at?”

Starlight took a couple steps forward. “What I’m getting at is this; Every single time you talk about Chrysalis and what she’s done, you don’t talk about hurting her or making her pay. You never look as angry when you mention her as you do when you even glance in my direction. You talk about trying to rescue your family and saving Equestria, and you’ve seen her atrocities firsthoof. But with me,” Starlight put a hoof on her chest. “You want to hurt me every single time you lay eyes on me, you said. You want to make me pay for a crime committed by a different mare who doesn’t even exist anymore. Don’t you see? That’s not a rational feeling, and it’s inconsistent with everything else I’ve seen in you, everything I know about you.”

Rainbow blinked, her eyes going a little wide. “So… are you saying that…” she breathed out, slowly rising to stand at her full height as the realization began to set in.

Rainbow blinked. It had been a very long time since she had given much thought to her time in the Empire in such detail, but that one interaction with Starlight now stood out to her. Back that, her hatred for Starlight had been fueled by a spell that Discord had sneakily implanted into her mind. It had forced her to experience very specific emotional reactions whenever she thought of or looked at Starlight. It had even manifested with a voice repeating a mantra in her head…

Make her pay.

Twilight loved Princess Celestia almost like a second mother. And though the two had long had an icy relationship, she also held no small amount of respect for Luna. In recent times, she had rapidly warmed up to the lunar princess when she began to help Twilight deal with her current mental issues.

Now, one of those issues was a nightmare that was very extreme for her. Not to mention she had been acting erratically ever since she had gotten her memories back. She had become quick to anger, and Rainbow could recall several occasions when Twilight had completely zoned out when there was nothing there to distract her. Each time, she came back just a little more upset than when she had first zoned out.

Rainbow swallowed heavily, the cogs turning rapidly in her head. Was it possible that Twilight had something similar going on with her? Rainbow knew that Twilight had had some limited exposure to Discord during the Plundervines incident. The two had spoken while Twilight was unconscious. Had the draconequus managed to put a spell on her at that time? Did he even have that power?

Twilight blinked, tilting her head. “...Rainbow? What is it?” she asked, jarring the pegasus out of her sudden reverie.

Rainbow jumped in her skin. She turned to look at Twilight, her eyes wide and unblinking. If she was right about this…

“...Did Discord put a spell on you, too?”

Twilight blinked. “Huh?”

Rainbow hopped off the bed, starting to pace back and forth across the room. Her brain was going, and she wasn’t about to let it slow down. This was too important. “I just remembered how I was acting all those years ago in the Empire. What Discord’s spell did to me,” she explained quickly, her eyes flicking this way and that. “And you saw how that went. How it made me act. Did he do something like that to you, too?”

“W-what?!” Twilight exclaimed, sitting up and leaning away. “No! No, of course not! I would have gotten rid of it by now if he had!”

“Then what is going on?” Rainbow pressed, turning to face Twilight directly. “Because you’re acting a lot like how I used to when he had me under one, and frankly, I shoulda noticed a long time ago!”

“Rainbow, please,” Twilight tried, but her words fell on deaf ears. Not that it would have mattered if they didn’t, for she couldn't find any more.

Rainbow continued to pace. “Ever since you got your memories back, you’ve been more easily agitated, you’ve gotten angry a lot easier, you’ve gotten distracted by things as if you were hearing things nopony else could. When I was under Discord’s spell, I had his voice in my head! So if not Discord, then who? Who else could have put a spell-like that in your head!?”

“There is no spell!” Twilight argued, leaning forward.

“Well, something’s not right!” Rainbow shot back. “This sure ain’t a regular case of PTSD. I have PTSD, Twilight! I’m no psychiatrist, but I am at least thirty percent sure it doesn’t work like this.”

“I’m fine,” Twilight insisted. “I’m just stressed out.”

“Twi, I’ve seen you stressed. Before and during your amnesia,” Rainbow countered. “You get frazzled, confused, and kinda manic. But you never had these massive emotional meltdowns where you yelled at creatures asking for help, knocked down big trees, obsessed over some paranoid idea about a stalking psycho, or almost blew up one of your friends. The only time I can think of where you were doing any of those things before you got your memory back was… when…”

It clicked. Rainbow suddenly understood. Or at the very least, she had a theory.

Twilight shrank away from her, the color draining from her face. “Rainbow… please, don’t…”

Rainbow took a deep breath. She turned to face Twilight directly. “...Was when you were Midnight,” she said quietly. “When you were trying to steal memories to figure out what I had been hiding from you… You were angry, confrontational, obsessive, and…”

She winced, remembering how much it had hurt when Twilight had kicked her back then.

Twilight’s eyes were glistening with fresh moisture. “I… I…”

Rainbow was quiet for several seconds. She turned back to Twilight, finally comprehending what had been plaguing her beloved all this time. “It’s Midnight, isn’t it? She’s still in there, somewhere.”

Twilight flinched as if she had been struck, and Rainbow knew she had hit the nail on the head. This was only confirmed when Twilight offered up a tiny, timid nod. “Yes… she is…”

Rainbow slowly climbed back onto the bed, a whole new wave of concern coming over her. “How long?”

“Since I got my memories back,” Twilight replied. “Like you said… Luna says it’s a part of me that yearns to Fall again.”

Rainbow frowned. “Why in the world would any part of you want that?”

“Because it felt good,” Twilight said, and Rainbow could actually hear the longing in her voice. Twilight went on a second later when Rainbow didn’t reply. “When you Fall, all of your inhibitions are lifted. Every feeling you chain down, every impulse you controlled, every bad thought you denied… Everything about you that you hold back is all released at once. It suddenly feels like you’ve become whole. It’s liberating. You’re not afraid of anything anymore. You know what you want, and you aren’t afraid to take it. And the power that comes with it. The raw emotions… it escalates your strength. Your magic, your flight. Everything. Becoming a Fallen Alicorn takes everything about you, the good, the bad, and amplifies it all… But without your restraints, all of the bad shines through and takes over.”

“I think I get it,” Rainbow replied quietly. In truth, most of that had gone over her head, but she understood enough to get the idea. “So, she wants to go back to that, and makes you act out?”

Twilight nodded slowly. “Yes. She talks to me a lot. Taunts me… insults me, you, our friends. She’s like a little devil on my shoulder, always looking for a sign of doubt, or frustration, or anything to latch onto to try and make me angry. The nightmares I’ve been having are her fault. She’ll try anything to make me take her back… But I won’t. I am not Midnight, and I will never turn into her again!”

A long, heavy silence fell over them. Rainbow took a moment to fully digest the bombshell that had just been dropped on her. “That explains so much…” she whispered. Everything that had been going on with Twilight up till now suddenly made so much more sense. There was a cause, and indeed, a villain to blame for it.

But that still left the question… “Why didn’t you ever say anything?” she asked in a low whisper. “This is info we could’ve used a while ago.”

Twilight shook her head. “I just… I never thought to. And then, when I tried to tell Applejack earlier, I found out that Midnight was blocking me from doing it. She kept me from physically saying the words… She’s only backing off now because you figured it out on your own… Damage already done.”

Rainbow frowned. “Damage?”

Twilight shrank down into the mattress. “...What if I can’t control her?” she eventually mumbled. “You know now that there’s an evil, parasitical remnant living in my head, antagonizing me and making me lash out. She’s driven me to violence before. If I lose control, or if she gets to me…”

Suddenly, Twilight reached out and ensnared one of Rainbow’s hooves in both of hers, her eyes desperate and pleading. “Please, don’t leave me. Don’t leave me alone with her!”

Rainbow blinked. “Huh?! Why in the world would I ever do that?!” she exclaimed in shock.

“Because… because… I’m a threat,” Twilight finally choked out. “I’m dangerous to you, to our friends, to everypony around us. I almost h-hurt you when Maud was visiting… If I can’t keep Midnight in check, then-”

Rainbow hadn’t even realized she was placing a hoof against Twilight’s muzzle until her words went quiet. The two were silent for several seconds, just staring into each other’s eyes. Rainbow took a deep breath, set her jaw, and spoke, her voice laced with steel conviction. “No. You aren’t a threat to us. Midnight is a threat,” she said slowly. “And frankly? I’d have been more likely to jump ship if you hadn’t told me that. But now I know that there’s a bad guy in your head. So now I know that whenever you act out or lash our like that, it isn’t you, it’s her. She’s just using you.”

Twilight brushed Rainbow’s hoof away. “But… But I’m still the one who makes the decisions… I’m the one who makes the mistake of listening…”

Rainbow nodded along. “Yeah… kinda like how I was still making the decisions when under Discord’s spell,” she pointed out. “But even still, you can’t accept all the blame. She’s still aggravating you into doing those things. As long as she’s in there, you can’t really be yourself.”

She draped a wing over Twilight’s back. “And that means we need to figure out how to get rid of her.”

Already, a range of ideas were going through Rainbow’s mind. Back when it had been her under Discord’s spell, Starlight had been the one to finally remove it. Maybe they should call on her for help? Then again, Starlight had made it pretty clear she wasn’t interested in being friends with her or anypony in her group, and wanted to be left alone by them. Although, it had been a couple of years. Maybe she changed her tune?

Or maybe Celestia and Luna? Those two were the most powerful mages in the whole world, bar none. It would be a trifling matter to yank out the parasite, wouldn’t it? “In fact, why haven’t they? Twi already said that Luna knows Midnight’s around and knows what she is.”

Twilight sighed and shook her head, pulling Rainbow from her thoughts. “It’s not that simple… This isn’t a spell that was put on me from the outside, Rainbow… It’s coming from within. We can’t just pull Midnight out of me and hope for the best. She’s completely woven into my psyche…”

Rainbow winced. “And… what does that mean?”

Twilight set her head down and closed her eyes. “...It means that the only pony who can get rid of Midnight is me… She’s my demon. My inner monster. Nopony else can fight her for me. Nopony else can even help me. I have to be the one to get rid of her… on my own.”

Rainbow stared at Twilight for several long seconds. She felt a surge of frustration, and her teeth ground together behind her lips. She had been on such a roll, and for a moment, it had felt like she was on the brink of solving all of their problems, but if Twilight was right—which she probably was—then yet again, Rainbow was going to be forced to sit idly on the sidelines, powerless to do anything to help somepony she loved.

Just like in Baltimare. Just like when Nightmare Moon took Celestia’s place. Just like when Chrysalis had invaded Canterlot. Just like when rainbow had watched, helpless, as the Plundervines snatched Luna right out of the sky.

Just like when Rainbow had felt Twilight dying in her hooves…

“No.”

“Maybe we can’t fight Midnight for you,” she said quietly, but confidently. She watched as Twilight looked up at her in surprise, and she gave the tired alicorn a cocky grin. “But we can still help you fight her in other ways.”

Twilight blinked. “Huh?”

Rainbow leaned down at nuzzled affectionately up to Twilight. “We’ll just do what we always do. We’ll be there for you. We’ll support you when you’re struggling, we’ll pull you back when you’re slipping, we’ll stop you if you lose control. And all the way, we’ll cheer you on.”

Twilight stared up at her in shock. After a few seconds, her shock morphed into an appreciative smile. “...Rainbow,” she whispered quietly.

Rainbow stared into her eyes, drawing nearer. A tiny blush formed on her cheeks as she darted in for another, gentle kiss. Twilight returned it, humming contentedly before the two parted. Rainbow grinned. “What? Did you really think we’re gonna leave you hanging?”

Twilight sighed and chuckled quietly. A few seconds passed before she frowned. “Um… what did you mean by ‘we,’ by the way?” she asked uneasily.

Rainbow frowned. It had seemed pretty obvious to her. “Er, me and all of our friends. Duh. What, did you think I was the only one that was gonna be helping ya?”

Twilight’s eyes widened. “B-but, the others don’t know…”

Rainbow nodded along slowly. “Mhmm. that’s true enough… guess we gotta fix that, then, huh?”

“B-but…” Twilight protested, her ears lowering. “What if they…”

Rainbow’s expression darkened. “Twi, they need to know. If you’ve got Midnight loitering in your brain, then they gotta be in the loop. Not just so they can help you, but so that they can know why you’ve been acting up the way you have. You know that… It’s just Midnight’s making you forget.”

Twilight snorted softly. “I’m… not entirely sure it works like that,” she said quietly. “But… I don’t know, Rainbow… I’m scared…”

Rainbow eyed her for a few seconds. Twilight certainly looked to be anxious and on edge… and to top it all off, she was still exhausted. A few seconds passed before Rainbow nodded quietly in understanding. She had been thinking of just gathering everyone up ASAP, but right now, it looked like Twilight needed rest more than anything.

Rainbow gave a slow nod. “Alright… fair enough. It can wait until tomorrow.”

Twilight winced. “Does it have to happen at all?”

Rainbow frowned. “Twi, you know that the others have to know. Ya gotta tell ‘em what’s going on, and if you don’t, I will. They can’t be kept in the dark about this.”

Twilight opened her mouth to protest. A few seconds passed before she sighed and looked away. “...Just so you know, Midnight is using some very colorful language to describe you right now.”

“And Midnight can bite me,” Rainbow shot back without missing a beat.

Suddenly, a loud, guttural growling sound filled the room. Rainbow perked up, looking at the source of the noise; Twilight’s belly. The alicorn’s face steadily began to flush into a very deep shade of red.

Rainbow couldn’t help it. It was just such a sudden and ridiculous thing that she began to laugh. Twilight did not seem to be as amused at first, but a few seconds later, she joined in.

It was nice, letting loose like this, and after the tension of the last several minutes, the laughter was more than welcome.

Once they calmed down, Rainbow, still chortling, hopped off the bed. “Speaking of bites, how about we grab one to eat?” she asked, hoping that some grub would lift Twilight’s spirits. “After all that, I’m thinking we could let Spike spoil us a bit.”

Twilight chuckled tiredly, following Rainbow off the bed. “Heh. Sure, I guess. I could go for a hayburger right now.”

“Or seven?”

“Or shut up.”

“Nope.”

Their chuckling soon turned to silence as they shut the door behind them.

Comments

[THERDSTORYWHISPERER]

Great Rainbow Dash chapter!

Are we going to see Twilight telling Spike and the rest of her friends about Midnight?

[Admiral Q Ponyform]

and the sister need to know how this banishment is affecting her. it's doing more harm then good.

[Anon E Moose]

Rainbow was quiet for several seconds. She turned back to Twilight, finally comprehending what had been plaguing her beloved all this time. “It’s Midnight, isn’t it? She’s still in there, somewhere.”

FINALLY

[Skijarama]

10736425
Yeah, having Rainbow play detective and figure out what's going on was a lot of fun. She ain't as dense or simple as she is in the show, and I feel like I don't show that often enough. :)

[Anon E Moose]

10736430
I'm just glad it's finally out there, whether by anyone figuring it out or Twi admitting it.

[Chromio]

10736435
Admitting it, admittedly, has proven to be quite difficult.

[JMP]

Good job, Rainbow! Of course she was never going to give up on Twilight. Not after everything.
10736328
I do agree, though I would like to point out that banishing Twilight was not for her sake, nor was it supposed to be good for her. Twilight needed to be punished for her actions

[Admiral Q Ponyform]

10736843
yeah but it's negatively affecting her, leaning to a possible repeat. and consider Dash's issues were ignored the sisters have a bad track record with thos

[JMP]

10736891
I agree. All I was saying was that Twilight's banishment was never supposed to be beneficial. It was for Canterlot's sake, not hers. If Celestia and Luna can come up with some sort of alternative, that would be ideal. Perhaps still restrict access and leave Twilight under guard? Because a relapse would definitely be worse.

[Show Stopper]

Is there a way to Favorite this more? Double "like"? Something? Because this is seriously the best and most organic TwiDash relationship I've ever read and I freaking love every bit of their banter.

[FanficReader920]

“Because it felt good, ” Twilight said, and Rainbow could actually hear the longing in her voice. Twilight went on a second later when Rainbow didn’t reply. “When you Fall, all of your inhibitions are lifted. Every feeling you chain down, every impulse you controlled, every bad thought you denied… Everything about you that you hold back is all released at once. It suddenly feels like you’ve become whole. It’s liberating. You’re not afraid of anything anymore. You know what you want, and you aren’t afraid to take it. And the power that comes with it. The raw emotions… it escalates your strength. Your magic, your flight. Everything. Becoming a Fallen Alicorn takes everything about you, the good, and amplifies it all… But without your restraints, all of the bad shines through and takes over.”

I just want to say this might be my favorite paragraph of the story so far. Well done. FELT this.