Little Keys

by Skijarama

Exhaustion

“Are you sure you’re okay?”

Twilight let off an impatient snort at the repeated question. She must have heard it at least a million times by now, and the day was still young. She turned to Rainbow Dash and gave the pegasus a reassuring nod. “Yes, Rainbow, I’m fine. One little nightmare isn’t going to be enough to stop me from being there for my friends.”

Rainbow did not look convinced. At all. At least, for the moment, she chose not to press the subject. Not that it mattered. She would no doubt come asking again once they were halfway to Sweet Apple Acres.

It had been like this off and on ever since Twilight and Rainbow got out of bed. They’d stayed there a little longer than originally planned, due entirely to Twilight’s insistence on keeping Rainbow pinned and slathering the poor mare in an endless deluge of affection. It had done wonders to distract her from Midnight’s prior insinuations and taunts, but conversely did very little to rest her weary mind.

She felt exhausted, and if the looks Rainbow and Spike had been giving her over the course of that morning were anything to go by, she looked exhausted. She was probably acting exhausted, too, but she was too tired to really care about that; an irony that was lost on her just then.

It was about time for them to head out, and both Rainbow and Twilight were gathered by the door. Spike stood not far away with a pensive frown, watching them get their things ready for their trip. He interlaced his claws together, his frown worsening. “Just take it easy out there, okay Twilight? You’re really out of it.”

Twilight shot him a small, grateful smile, glad at least that they were looking out for her. “I will, don’t worry. It’s not going to be a problem,” she assured him.

Spike, like Rainbow, did not look convinced. Twilight gave an exasperated sigh and meandered over to him. “Oh, come on, Spike. Have a little faith in me, would you?” she said, patting him on the head with a tender smile. “I promise, if I start overworking myself, or something goes wrong, the princess will haul me back by the tail.”

Rainbow perked up. “Wait, I will?”

Twilight shot her a smug look over her shoulder. Rainbow flushed, her cheeks turning a bright shade of red from the look. She cleared her throat and looked away, finding a spot on the ceiling very interesting all of a sudden. “O-oh, right. Yeah, of course, I’ll do that. Yeah. Tail. In my mouth. Gotcha.”

Spike’s expression flattened at that, and he crossed his arms over his chest. “Well, now you’ve done it. You broke her!” he playfully scolded Twilight, earning an amused snicker from her.

Twilight shook her head and turned for the door. “Too easy. Now, come on, Dashie,” she said playfully. As she walked by Rainbow, she took the time to deliberately bump her hip against Rainbow’s, drawing an indignant squawk from her. She held back the urge to laugh again as Rainbow grumbled in irritation and followed her out.

“You know, we had all that time in the room for you to pull crud like that,” Rainbow pointed out once the door closed.

Twilight’s amused smile faltered, ever so slightly. She tried not to think about that little moment. As pleasant as it had been to spend that time with Rainbow, she wasn’t keen on remembering why she had felt so driven to do so in the first place. She shook her head and tossed out the first excuse that came to mind. “It was too early in the morning. Still is, really. But embarrassing you in front of Spike? It’s always the perfect time for that.”

It was Rainbow’s turn to roll her eyes. She strutted past Twilight, flicking her on the nose with her tail as she passed. “Killjoy.”

Twilight’s eyes crossed from the flick before her own cheeks lit up with a blush. “Hey!” she called after Rainbow. She cantered to catch up, the two sharing some amused chuckles before lapsing into idle small talk—mostly hypothesizing about what Applejack would need them to do.

Twilight gave the matter some thought as they meandered their way through Ponyville. It was unlikely for Applejack to ask them to do a whole lot of heavy lifting. While she had learned long ago when she was outdone and needed help, she wasn’t one to shirk her responsibilities onto others lightly, and besides, it wasn’t like they were trying to harvest all of the apples in the orchard in a short span of time. She’d probably just want them to help her find any damaged locations and provide rudimentary assistance in getting it cleared up.

Their path took them through the Ponyville market, and before long the buildings began to thin out and the familiar path to Sweet Apple Acres became visible. Twilight was overcome with a small wave of nostalgia as her hooves fell onto the wider, but far less compacted dirt path. She smiled softly and turned to Rainbow. “Do you remember our first few minutes in Ponyville?”

Rainbow smirked at her. “How could I forget? I mean, we met Pinkie right out the gate, didn’t we? And she knew us because of the Flashes.”

“And then she just… er, dropped us off on this path,” Twilight recalled, thinking back on those days. In spite of her fears about Nightmare Moon all those years ago, she felt as if she could give almost anything to go back to then; a time when the threats were simple and there weren’t malevolent vestiges of her worst self harassing her in the back of her mind.

“Feels like an age ago,” Rainbow agreed with a slow nod. She looked ahead, her brow furrowing. “Lot’s happened, huh?”

“And knowing our luck, it’s just going to keep happening,” Twilight replied, her eyes lowering slightly.

“Oh, absolutely,” Midnight chimed in with a sneer. “The question is simply when it’s going to happen. And whether or not it’s you next time.”

Twilight frowned bitterly at the unwelcome comment. “Be quiet. I wasn’t talking to you.”

“I was talking to you, though,” Midnight shot back, snickering in a way that made Twilight’s coat bristle. A moment passed before she let out an overly dramatic sigh. “But very well. I’ll let you be with your girlfriend.”

Twilight let out a relieved sigh at that. She was not in the mood to listen to that insufferable inner demon any more today.

Unfortunately, she had briefly forgotten that Rainbow was right there. “Twi?” she asked curiously with a raised eyebrow. “Something up?”

Twilight’s heart just about leaped into her throat. She quickly gave Rainbow a reassuring smile. “Oh, sorry. Just enjoying the fresh air,” she lied, before trying to make that lie into the truth. She turned her head up and closed her eyes, taking a deep breath. She savored the smells of the orchard, tried to enjoy the feeling of the soft dirt beneath her hooves, and take in the rustling of the branches.

It was harder to slip into her usual trance than she would have liked when walking, but Celestia as her witness she was going to try.

Eventually, the path ahead of them widened out, and the farmhouse and surrounding structures came into view. Twilight felt relieved at the sight and picked up the pace. Finally, she could focus on something arduous enough to keep Midnight out of her head for a while. She swept her eyes across the visible landscape, looking for any sign of the Apples.

She spotted them soon enough. Applejack and Big Mac were by the front door of the house. Big Mac was already strapped to a large wagon loaded with a wide assortment of supplies. Farming equipment, mostly, along with a few bulging sacks that contained Twilight could only guess what. The door stood open, and Twilight could just make out the shapes of Apple Bloom and Granny Smith across the threshold. They were in the middle of some kind of discussion.

Rainbow smiled on spotting them and lifted a hoof in greeting. “Hey! We’re here!” she called out, drawing the attention of the family.

Applejack raised an eyebrow on spotting Twilight. “Howdy, Twilight. Yer helpin’ out, too?” she asked, masking her surprise with her friendly tone and a warm smile.

Twilight nodded. “Yeah. I wanted to take Rainbow on a date today, but she was busy with this, so I just decided to join her and make this the date,” she explained before covering her mouth with a hoof to hide her large and unattractive yawn.

Applejack frowned, and Twilight realized a moment later that she was being heavily scrutinized. “Ya sure you wanna be helpin’ out with farm work right now, Twi? No offense or anythin’, but y’all look like ya just got done wrestlin’ with a bull. And like ya lost, ah might add.”

A small flare of irritation at once again being questioned on her wellness sprung up in Twilight’s breast. She was quick to force it out, maintaining her friendly smile. “I’m sure, Applejack. I didn’t sleep very well last night, but I’ll be fine.”

“Yeah, and I already asked her, like, a trillion times if she was okay and good for this,” Rainbow added with a roll of her eyes. She glanced sideways at Twilight, a small shimmer of worry hiding behind her eyes. “But you know how Twilight can get when she gets something in her head. You’re not stopping her easily.”

“Not without sacrificing some memories, at least,” Midnight’s voice intoned quietly.

A chill ran down Twilight’s spine. Her eyes drifted back to lock onto Rainbow’s. Her mind wandered back to that horrible night in Canterlot for a few moments. She recalled how Rainbow had begged her to stop, and the despair in her eyes when Midnight told her that there was no way for her to return the memories she had stolen. She remembered how coldly she had dismissed all of Rainbow’s overtures, and even how violent she'd gotten when Rainbow dared to utter her true name instead of her Fallen alias...

“Hey, is she alright?” Apple Bloom suddenly asked, drawing Twilight out of her morbid reminiscing.

She quickly shook her head and put on her most convincing smile. “Sorry, sorry. I zoned out, what were you saying?” she said, inwardly wincing at just how unconvincing her voice was.

Applejack and Rainbow shared a concerned glance. It was the former who spoke up. “Ah know RD already asked this a bunch, but are you sure you’re okay?” she asked tentatively. She took a cautious step forward. “Ya looked pretty upset a second ago… is somethin’ wrong?”

“Would everypony stop asking me that?” Twilight dismissed without thinking about it, this time unable to hide the irritation in her voice. When she saw the surprised looks she was receiving from that little outburst, she was quick to put on an apologetic smile. “Sorry. Everything’s fine. Just… I’m tired, okay? Can we just get to work so I can have something to focus on? I’ll wake up a little if I’m working.”

Applejack’s brow furrowed in doubt. Granny Smith gave off a quiet snort. “Bah, leave the poor mare be, Jackie. Don’t go stickin’ yer nose where it don’t belong. Besides, y’all got work that needs doin’, so hop to!”

“I agree with the old mare,” Midnight mused with a mockingly sweet tone. “Your troubles aren’t any of their business.”

Twilight did her best to ignore Midnight as Granny’s commanding tone snapped everypony’s attention off of Twilight, to her relief. Applejack shook her head and put on a more serious look. “Right. Ah assume RD went and told ya the basics of what we’re doin’ today. The long and short of it is that Big Mac and I are gonna be goin’ round replantin’ a bunch of the trees that those pesky Plundervines went and uprooted. We’re also gonna be clearin’ up any debris, like fallen trees and whatnot. But mah orchard’s a big place, and Ah can’t see to it all at once. Ah’d mighty appreciate it if y’all could fly up and help Big Mac and I go where we need to get—call out fallen trees or any damage, that kinda thing.”

Applejack turned and nodded at Big Mac’s wagon. “Big Mac’s got the tools we’ll be usin’, along with a bunch of fresh apple seeds for replantin’,” she pointed a hoof at Rainbow. “Mac and Ah can handle movin’ the debris, so when we plant a tree, Ah’d like you to bring us some rain clouds to get some water in the soil.”

Rainbow threw a sharp salute. “I’m on it!” she said enthusiastically.

Twilight stepped forward. “And what about me?” she asked curiously. “What do you need me to do?”

Applejack eyed her for a moment, a frown adorning her muzzle. “Well, shucks, Twi, Ah’d been countin’ on only Rainbow showin’ up. Plus, yer dead tired. Ah say you just stick with Rainbow and help her spot anythin’ what needs fixin’, and leave the heavy liftin’ to the rest of us.”

Twilight frowned, having grown very tired of the constant questioning she’d been getting today about her wellness. She opened her mouth to protest, to assure them yet again that she was fine enough to do more work, but the words caught in her throat. With a weary sigh, she had to admit to herself that Applejack was right. She was exhausted. If she tried to get too involved with the heavy lifting side of things, she’d run the risk of hurting herself, and so, with a small sigh, she agreed and gave Applejack a nod of understanding.

Applejack gave her a reassuring smile. She turned to Big Mac. “Alright, then let’s get a move on. Y’all ready, Bro?”

“Eeyup.”

Rainbow turned to Twilight. “You good?” she asked one more time while unfurling her wings in preparation.

Twilight nodded, spreading her own. She looked up at the sky, already picking out a collection of clouds that she thought might supply good rainwater drifting across the sky. “Yeah. Let’s go.”

With that, the two kicked off and flew up into the air. For a moment, with the wind rushing in her ears and pushing her mane back, Twilight was able to close her eyes and forget her exhaustion and anxiety.

---

The last time Twilight had helped Applejack out on the farm, it had not felt this tedious or boring. Of course, last time it had only happened after an entire day of trying to convince the stubborn mare that she needed help, with a whole slew of comical hijinks occurring as a result of Applejack’s insistence that she could handle herself. Even when half asleep and beating a dead tree, she hadn’t given in until there was no other option.

The work was simple enough. True to their original plan, Applejack and Big Mac handled the bulk of the heavy lifting, while Twilight and Rainbow kept largely to the skies. Whenever the aerial ponies spotted a scene of residual carnage, they would call it out, and the Apples would set to work clearing out the remains before planting a new tree. On occasion, Rainbow helped them move the husks of particularly large apple trees. Once all was clear and the new trees were planted, Rainbow or Twilight would bring in rainclouds and water the freshly-turned soil.

The process had few variations; it was the same basic thing over and over again. It wasn’t as engaging as Twilight had hoped, but she was being allowed plenty of time to try and distract her thoughts from her nightmare this morning. Plus, having Rainbow flying beside her all the time was making things a lot easier.

“There’s another one!” Rainbow called out, pointing to a swath of farmland that had been unceremoniously torn apart by the Plundervines. A series of trees had been uprooted in a straight line, leaving a large and ugly gash in the earth. Twilight grimaced at the sight. It would be a lot of effort to fill in that ground, and even then there would probably be a very visible scar in the land there for quite some time.

“Ah see it!” Applejack’s voice called back up. Twilight saw her and Big Mac trotting into the clearing. Applejack let out a long whistle. “Whew. Looks like them vines went and had themselves a Pinkie Party durin’ cider season in this spot.”

“Ugh, don’t talk to me about cider,” Rainbow complained as she and Twilight bled altitude to alight on the ground. “I’m thirsty enough as it is.”

“No drinkin’ on the job, Dash,” Applejack sternly pointed out. “That’s a surefire way to get yerself hurt.”

“Eeyup,” Big Mac agreed with a sage nod. Twilight couldn’t help but notice a slightly awkward shifting of his weight, and the fact he didn’t dare look directly at Applejack as he spoke. She wondered, however briefly, if the injury he had suffered in the past had been born from a moment of reckless imbibement…

Rainbow snorted and scuffed her hoof along the dirt. “Yeah, yeah,” she dismissed Applejack’s warning, turning toward the tree and matching Applejack’s whistle with one of her own. “Ouch. Uh, not to question your strength or anything, but are you guys sure you got this? I mean…”

“It’s a lot. Even for you,” Twilight finished, following the line of destruction. The trench was long and deep, and the trees it had toppled hadn’t actually sustained much damage, aside from being uprooted. Their trunks were whole and largely splintered, leaving their leafless branches poking out in every direction.

“And we ain’t exactly close to the farm, neither,” Applejack lamented, glancing back the way they had come. They had been at this for a couple of hours now, and in that time had wandered quite far from the heart of the property. “We might wanna put a pin in this one…”

Twilight frowned, glancing down at the damage. No, they could manage this. The trees were large, but she had lifted far larger things, and for far longer than would be needed here. She was tired, yes, but she was also an alicorn. She turned to Applejack. “Why don’t you let me try moving these with my magic, first?”

Applejack turned back to her, her brow furrowed with concern. “Are ya sure that’s a good idea? No offense, Twi, but this is a lot fer you, too. Yer a right powerful mage, Ah ain’t gonna deny that, but ya still got limits.”

“She’s babying you. Typical.”

Twilight tried to ignore Midnight’s snip of a response. She faced Applejack fully and put on a confident look. “It’s not like I’m handling a zodiac beast this time. It’s just a few trees, and I just need to move them out of the way.”

Applejack looked Twilight up and down for a few seconds before giving a quiet nod. “Alright… Ah guess you’d know yer limits better than Ah would. Just don’t overdo it, ya hear? If it’s too much, we can come back and handle it another day.”

Twilight smiled at that. She turned back to the felled trees, took a deep breath, and began to focus her magic. She inwardly smiled when she felt Rainbow lightly pat her on the back and offer an encouraging ‘you got this, Twi,’ before backing up to give her some room. She wasn’t sure if Rainbow’s tone really convinced her, but it would have to do. Tentatively, she reached out and began to ensnare the trees with her magic.

They were heavy. Much heavier than she had been expecting. She grit her teeth behind her lips and lifted. The trunks groaned, and a few pieces splintered away as they lifted several inches off the ground. A bead of sweat formed on Twilight’s brow from the exertion. She groaned to herself as she began to nudge them forward, trying to get them onto empty soil to make room for the seeds.

A pounding headache began to build up in her skull. Her teeth ground together, and her own frustration began to mount alongside the fire in her head. “Why is this so hard? I’ve tangled with far more difficult magical challenges than a few fallen trees before! So what if I’m tired? That’s no excuse for such a lackluster performance!”

Those thoughts, and plenty more besides, circled throughout her mind before a headache flared and Twilight became aware of a flood of light from her horn as her magic burst forth, empowered by her irritation. She gasped and yelped in surprise when a deafening crack and boom split the air from where the trees were, and her aura flickered and faded in the span of a moment. Her legs gave out under her, sending her falling to the ground in a gasping heap.

“Twi?!” Rainbow’s voice cut through the pounding in her skull, and Twilight felt a hoof on her shoulder. “Twilight, are you okay?!”

Twilight gave a shaky nod, her breath coming in heaving gasps. “Y-yeah,” she managed to stammer between her pants. “Yeah, yeah, I’m o-okay.”

She took a moment to catch her breath before being helped back to her hooves by Rainbow Dash. She turned to look toward the trees she had originally only meant to move a few yards. A grimace came over her face at what she saw. While she had succeeded in moving them away, that little surge of frustration caused her to also snap the trunks, leaving massive splinters and chunks of wood scattered all over. It was quite the mess.

Applejack came up to Twilight’s other side, a stern frown on her face. “Twi… Ah think yer done,” she said matter-of-factly.

Twilight opened her mouth to protest, but she didn’t have it in her to offer any words that would excuse her loss of control. She hung her head with a dejected sigh and nodded. Applejack was right. She had drained up her magic doing that. It didn’t make any sense, but it was the only explanation she could come up with. It must have just been a byproduct of her physical and mental exhaustion. Her efficiency with her energy must have been lower than usual…

Applejack turned back to the carnage. “Big Mac and Ah can get this tidied up. RD, ya mind fetchin’ a cloud or somethin’ so we can water the seeds?”

Rainbow hesitated, her grip on Twilight’s foreleg tightening. “I mean… Sure, I guess…”

Twilight, after another deep breath, gave Rainbow a reassuring look. “It’s fine, Rainbow. I’m tired, but I’m not hurt. Go on.”

Rainbow hesitated a moment longer. She finally conceded with a reluctant nod, turned, and flew up into the sky. Twilight watched her go until the tip of her prismatic tail faded from view. She fell onto her haunches to rest, focusing on her breathing. Silence fell over the area as Big Mac approached the holes in the earth.

Applejack, however, remained by Twilight’s side, a contemplative frown on her muzzle. Finally, she turned to face Twilight directly, her brow furrowing with concern. “...What is goin’ on?” she finally asked.

Twilight looked up at Applejack in confusion. “Huh?”

“Ah wasn’t born yesterday, ya know,” Applejack pointed out. “Somethin’s buggin’ ya. Has been since… well, ya know since when. Ah’ve been holdin’ my peace about it, but Ah’m really gettin’ worried.”

Twilight went rigid. She stared up into Applejack’s emerald-colored eyes, working her jaw up and down as she tried to think of a way to respond. Eventually, she settled for asking a question. “What do you mean?”

Applejack looked down, brushing her hoof along the ground. “Well, the temper, fer one thing,” she said. “Ah’ve seen how irritable y’all have gotten. Hay, we all have. You’ve been havin’ more and more nightmares lately, too, and yer just… outta it, ya know? Like yer distracted a lot. Ah’ve seen ya lookin’ off, zonin’ out. Sometimes ya mutter to yerself…”

Twilight averted her eyes when Applejack knelt down in front of her. The farmer reached a hoof out to turn Twilight’s chin until they were eye-to-eye again. There was nothing but kindness and worry in her eyes. “Talk to me, sugarcube… what’s wrong?”

Twilight hesitated. The longer she looked into Applejack’s eyes, the more at ease she began to feel. After a few moments, she reached up and brushed Applejack’s hoof away with a tired sigh. “It’s… it’s a lot of small things, really,” she finally said, her voice low. “And they’re swapping out all the time. New ones come in, old ones go out. It’s a cycle.”

Applejack gave off a quiet hum. She sat down beside Twilight and placed a comforting hoof on her back. Big Mac looked over to Applejack, silently inquiring as to what’s going on, and she shot him a pointed look. The stallion took the hint and got to work with the seeds, giving the two mares their privacy. Once he was occupied again, Applejack returned her attention to Twilight. “And right now?”

“It’s my parents,” Twilight explained, allowing her mind to drift back to those two wonderful ponies. “I haven’t really been making time for them ever since I moved to Ponyville. Not as much as I should, at any rate… Canterlot is right there, though, so I didn’t have any excuse. But now…”

Applejack nodded in understanding. “Aah. Ah gotcha. Now that ya can’t go yerself, yer missin’ them?” she ventured.

Twilight frowned. “That’s part of it… but it’s more than that,” she said, a small pearl of resentment building up in her breast. She did her best to force it down, not wanting to let her anger show right now. She didn’t want to give Midnight a chance to slip into the conversation.

Applejack’s brow furrowed. “...Mind tellin’ me what?”

Twilight hesitated. She fought with herself for several seconds, then turned to Applejack, her face contorting with anxiety. “If I tell you, can you promise me you won’t tell Rainbow Dash?” she asked hesitantly, knowing that Applejack probably wouldn’t take too kindly to such a request.

Indeed, Applejack’s muzzle contorted into a disapproving frown. “Twi… filly, ya know Ah don’t like hidin’ things from mah friends,” she said slowly.

“I know, I know,” Twilight replied, looking away. “But… It should come from me. It won’t do any of us any good if it comes up before I’m ready to tell her…”

“Just like how poorly things went when she refused to tell you about your death?” Midnight asked in a low, sinister whisper. “Give me a break. You’re being a hypocrite.”

“This is different!” Twilight insisted. “I’m not hiding something about her! I’m hiding something about myself!”

“A cute excuse that changes nothing,” Midnight spat. “But fine, be that way. You seem to like lying to yourself so much, so go on, lie to your friends next. What’s the harm that could do?”

“Would you just SHUT UP?!”

“Twilight?”

Twilight gasped as she felt Applejack’s hoof on her back giving her a shake. Her eyes snapped back to her friend’s. “Huh?”

Applejack’s muzzle scrunched up. “Y’all okay? Ya kinda zoned out on me.”

Twilight swallowed heavily, trying to ignore Midnight’s amused cackling. She shook herself to chase off the chills and focused back on the conversation. “Sorry. Just… Got lost in thought.”

Applejack nodded, withdrawing her hoof. “Alright… well, Ah can’t say Ah’m too happy ‘bout keepin’ secrets from RD. But Ah’ll keep it under wraps… unless she asks,” she finally relented, earning a small sigh of relief from Twilight as the conversation went back on course.

“Thank you,” she said, smiling warmly at Applejack. She took a moment to collect her thoughts. Her eyes drifted off in the general direction of Canterlot. Her lips drew into a thin line as she tried to think of how best to put her thoughts and feelings into words. “...The truth is… I’ve been very unhappy with the princesses lately.”

Applejack blinked. “Ah mean… Ah can see why,” she said in a tone that did not do justice to the gravity of the situation. “Ah gotta admit, part of me thinks that them banishin’ you from Canterlot was a bit overkill. Plus, it’s yer home. Only natural yer gonna be a little bothered ‘bout that.”

“No, no, you don’t get it,” Twilight insisted, turning back to Applejack. “This isn’t just some bit of irritation or bitterness. It’s… it’s…” Twilight took in a long, deep breath, trying to force down the self-disgusted shivers trying to worm their way into her voice.

Applejack leaned back, surprised. Her mood shifted to match, her expression hardening. “It’s what?” she asked slowly. She put on a comforting smile. “It’s alright, Twi. Y’all can tell me what it is. Ah won’t judge ya.”

Twilight gave a shaky nod of her head, though her anxiety over the words she was to say next did not go away. She took one more deep breath before, finally, she found her words. “Last night, I had a nightmare. I tried to force my way back into Canterlot. I failed. Princess Celestia and Princess came out to confront me about it. And I… I…”

She wasn’t able to suppress the next shudder. Applejack’s eyes widened at the reaction. She lifted a hoof to reach out, but Twilight spoke first.

“I a-attacked them. I tried to kill them...”

Oh, merciful Celestia, to even breathe the words was bad enough. After so many years of devoting herself to the princesses, Celestia in particular, to even contemplate wishing harm upon them was enough to make her blood run cold.

Applejack’s expression softened with sympathy. Her hoof fell over Twilight’s shoulders, pulling her into a comforting side-hug. “Aw, shucks, Twi. It was just a dream, right? It’s not like you really feel that way.”

“Oh, if only she knew,” Midnight whispered in sadistic amusement.

Twilight did her best to ignore her. She focused on the warmth of Applejack’s embrace, using it to anchor herself in reality and drown out the voice in her head. Still, she couldn’t deny that Midnight had a point. With what she knew about dreams now, it was a terrible idea to dismiss the images within them out of hoof.

“Maybe not,” she finally said, shaking her head. “But to even dream of it… Our dreams are born from our innermost feelings and thoughts, Applejack. I don’t want to hurt Celestia or Luna. I don’t want to be angry at them, especially when Luna’s doing so much to help me. But… I look at the city, or I get a letter from my parents promising to come meet me here, and I just can’t help but feel so… so angry that I can’t go back!”

Applejack gave Twilight a comforting squeeze, and she only then realized that her voice had started rising in volume. She took a deep breath, forcing the fire down. Her ears perked up, listening to the sounds around them.

The two sat in silence for a long while. Twilight’s temper slowly began to cool as the serene atmosphere washed over them. She took in the rustling of the leaves and the sound of Big Mac working the soil not far away and calmed down somewhat. Applejack’s side rose and fell with each breath she took, a lulling rhythm that helped set Twilight’s mind at ease.

At last, Applejack broke the silence by clearing her throat. “Well… if nothin’ else, Ah can see why ya don’t want me tellin’ this to RD,” she quietly admitted. “Ah don’t think that filly’d be all that happy if she heard y’all were dreamin’ about hurtin’ her ma. But she’d still understand.”

Twilight sighed. “I guess so.”

“Ah know so,” Applejack said, putting more force into her voice. “That gal loves you, Twilight. More than Ah think either of ya realize. She’d be upset, sure, but after everythin’ that mare’s gone through, you’d best not be doubtin’ her.”

Twilight looked up to Applejack in surprise. She found the farmer’s smiling face staring back down at her.

“Whatever issues she’s got goin’ on, whatever mistakes she might’ve made in the past, there’s no denyin’ that Dash is the most loyal pony Ah’ve ever met, and one of the hardest workin’ when it comes to the ponies she cares about. She devoted two years of her life almost entirely to you, fer ponies sake! And when ya turned dark and nasty, she was the first one there tryin’ to stop ya. And she weren’t doin’ it with force, neither.”

A lump formed in Twilight’s throat, memories of that night in Canterlot flashing through her mind yet again. “I remember,” she said in a quiet whisper.

Applejack’s smile widened. “Exactly. RD gave up everythin’ fer you because she loves ya that much. And she wasn’t wrong to do it, either, cause in the end, y’all gave back everything ya took. So don’t you go frettin’ over how she’ll react to yer nightmare. She’ll never turn her back on ya. She will understand, and she’ll be there to help ya no matter what.”

Twilight felt her heart warm slightly from Applejack’s earnest and impassioned endorsement of Rainbow Dash. In her mind, Twilight knew that all of those points were very true, and she had known it for a long, long time. It was her heart that had sent her into doubt, and indeed, still was.

She smiled slightly, letting her head rest against Applejack’s side again. “...Thank you, AJ. I needed to hear that,” she sighed in relief, closing her eyes.

“Anytime, sugarcube,” Applejack replied, patting Twilight on the back a few times. “Though, Ah do gotta admit, it is a bit outta character for ya to be havin’ dreams about attackin’ the princesses. Ah don’t think Ah’ve ever met anypony as endeared to ‘em as you.”

“Honestly, it might not even be a regular dream,” Twilight replied, not really thinking about what she was saying.

“Whaddya mean?”

Twilight opened her mouth to speak, to explain the phenomenon of Midnight residing in her subconscious. However, to her confusion, the words to describe what was wrong with her just… slipped away. She frowned. “Well… I mean… Y-you see, there’s this… uh…”

That was weird. What had come over her all of a sudden? It wasn’t like it was a hard concept to explain. The persona she had taken on as Midnight was still lingering in her subconscious, a malevolent aftereffect of her Fall that tried day in and day out to drag her back into the dark. It antagonized her all the time, and it was sometimes very hard to ignore its biting words. It wasn’t any more complex than that.

Yet the words did not reach her lips. Every time she went to speak them, her mind went blank. Her tongue felt heavy in her mouth, her eyes lost focus, and her head felt as if it was going numb on the inside. Her thoughts became cloudy until she backed off, and then snapped back to sudden clarity.

Applejack, oblivious to the problem, snorted in amusement. “Wow, is it really that complex, Twilight?” she asked with a raised eyebrow. “Just out with it. Ah promise, Ah’ll at least pretend Ah understand.”

Twilight’s blood began to go cold. Something was wrong. Something was very, very wrong. She turned back to Applejack, her mouth flying open to say something, but the words still did not come. Her heart beat faster and faster in her chest as fear and anxiety flooded her system. She wanted to open up, to spill everything about Midnight then and there, but something was blocking her from uttering the words. They hitched in her throat over and over, held back by something unseen.

Unseen… but not unknown.

Adrenaline flooded Twilight’s veins as the realization hit her all at once. She stiffened and sprang to her hooves. She ignored Applejack’s exclamation of surprise, her eyes darting this way and that. “What the- what are you doing?!” she demanded internally.

Applejack’s eyes widened from the fearful response. “Twi? Hon, what’s wrong?” she asked urgently, rising to her hooves.

When Midnight offered no answer to Twilight’s question, she turned to face the woods. “I… I need a minute,” Twilight blurted out, desperate for an excuse to get away and deal with this. “I need to think.”

With that, she broke into a mad sprint into the orchard, ignoring the burning in her lungs. She heard Applejack calling out to her, but she did not look back. To her relief, it seemed that Applejack wasn’t chasing her. If she was, Twilight had already somehow left her in the dust.

All the while, she kept trying to explain what Midnight was to the open air. As she got further and further away from Applejack, the easier it became. Soon, she was belting out a verbal essay on the subject as she wove between the apple trees.

“There is a malignant entity in my mind!” she panted as she jumped over another gouge in the earth. “An aftereffect from when I turned into Midnight! When I turned, all of my inhibitions were lifted! It felt good, and my subconscious wants me to take that feeling back! All of the magic I have as an alicorn has allowed those dark thoughts to manifest into this sickly parasite, and it keeps antagonizing me and taunting me, trying to drive me into a state of emotional distress strong enough to cause a second Fall!”

Suddenly, the ground underneath her fell away. She had run straight into another strip of torn earth. Twilight cried out in surprise from the sudden fall, her wings instinctively snapping out to try and catch her. It was not enough, and she crumpled into the churned dirt with a grunt. She groaned in discomfort before lifting her head. Her vision was swimming from the exertion, the shapes of the surrounding trees blurring into indistinct blobs.

Standing at the edge of the small chasm, sharp and clear to Twilight’s blurring vision, was a twisted, tainted mockery of her own reflection. Darkened wings with dagger-like feathers stretched out wide in a show of dominance, while slitted eyes emitting trails of ghostly magic glared down at her. A fang-filled grin split the muzzle of the apparition, making Twilight shiver with disgust, guilt, and unyielding hatred.

“Well? What excuse do you have for me this time?” Midnight asked.

Author's Note:

Holy HLL this chapter was a nightmare and a half to get to a point where I was happy with it. It was rewritten at least three or four times before I finally landed on this one. That's a big part of why this chapter took so long to come out. I was really struggling with it from start to finish. I hope the end result of my labors are worth it.

Also, yes, we are finally addressing the fact that Twilight has not told anyone about Midnight yet. I imagine plenty of you have been waiting on that.

Comments

[THERDSTORYWHISPERER]

Great chapter!

I may have commented on this a few times about Twilight not saying anything about her Midnight problem to Rainbow and the others. It’s very interesting that she can’t literally say it aloud to anyone. Are we going to get answers for that next chapter or during this story arc?

[Skijarama]

10651900
During the arc, at least.

[JMP]

I....huh. I wasn't expecting her to not be able to tell anyone about Midnight. Hasn't she told Luna? Could have sworn she's mentioned something before....

[Skijarama]

10651941
Luna already knows. Seeing as she has been there and all that.

[Admiral Q Ponyform]

yeah that banishment is doign more harm then good and Twilight. YOU NEED HELP, and part of that is revealign MIDNIGHT

[blankity-blank]

I'm with Applejack, I always thought the Princesses were overreacting when they banished her. Sure, what she did wasn't good, but I don't think it was bad enough to warrant that. Plus, it seems to be doing more harm than good.

[FanficReader920]

Wow! So Twi literally CAN’T tell anyone about Midnight... that’s.... scary honestly.

[Leviathan Eclipse]

Twilight shot her a smug look over her shoulder. Rainbow flushed, her cheeks turning a bright shade of red from the look. She cleared her throat and looked away, finding a spot on the ceiling very interesting all of a sudden. “O-oh, right. Yeah, of course, I’ll do that. Yeah. Tail. In my mouth. Gotcha.”