The Immortal Dream

by Czar_Yoshi

Concerning Gods and Oblivion

Faye hung limply over the windowsill, the night breeze caressing her ears. No fire reigned in the sky; instead, there were only stars, with a noble moon lording over them in the distance above.

Procyon hovered patiently, waiting.

Faye swallowed, the sensation of sweat and soot baked into her coat. The longer she stayed here, the less tenuous reality seemed, the more solid the ground beneath her feet... and yet, that dream refused to dissipate in her mind. How could it? The light spirit had returned to her. And she didn't like what she had seen.

She sluggishly lifted her gaze to meet Procyon. "So. What do you want?"

Procyon looked back at her, tense but unshaken. "I'm here to make an observation. I could be here to do more than that... depending on what it is that you want. But we've been dancing around each other for long enough, don't you think?"

Faye's thoughts were too muddied with burning cities and light spirits to reply.

"Back in the Crystal Empire, we made our peace, remember?" Procyon said. "Not two days ago. But what comes after that? I told you I had made peace with my existence, and I have, but..." She gritted her teeth. "Watching the ease with which you've stepped back into the light sits frustratingly with me."

"You're jealous," Faye guessed. "You want to be a part of me and Halcyon's life, too. To a bigger degree than you currently are."

"But I'm different from you." Procyon pointed a hoof. "You and Halcyon reflect each other. You trust each other instinctively because you see yourselves in each other, because you're two parts of the same whole. And that's because you've grown up naturally with each other around a preexisting fault that I left behind. But I was cleaved out of existence by a god... perhaps the god. I can't see your exact thoughts, or feel your heart, but I can tell you don't see yourselves in me. And the reason for that is that none of me is in you. I was removed far more precisely than the tangled split between you and Halcyon. With such a dynamic, where do we go from here?"

"Like I said," Faye replied. "What do you want?"

"I don't know," Procyon growled. "I am jealous, but you're also better off without me - at least, according to my ideas of what I wanted to become. Did you ever wonder why you used to have no friends, how you came to be ostracized by Ansel and Corsica, why you're now a coward who can't put that bracelet to use even to save your friends' lives?"

Faye hissed. "I did put it to use! I carried Ansel and Corsica out of that canyon, and I agonized by their bedsides that my indecision about whether to use it might have cost them time they needed to survive!"

Procyon gave her a sharp stare. "No, I used it. And those were only the memories you were left with after my motives and I were cut away, the stories you told yourself to fill in the blanks and make your new, empty past cohesive again. I-"

"Halcyon dreamed that dream dozens of times," Faye interrupted coldly. "Our dreams don't lie. Even Egdelwonk can't hide the truth from them. Don't tell me I don't remember what happened."

That gave Procyon pause. Eventually, she backed down and shook her head.

Faye waited.

"I didn't simply wake up one morning and decide I wanted to disappear," Procyon eventually said. "I was keenly aware of the problems in my life, and of how many of them were of my own making. I was ambitious. Selfish. Jealous. I resented Mother, because to me, she represented a pony's limits - something I didn't want to ever have. Have you ever wondered why you're so unable to do any of these things? You're incapable of being mean, or of doing nice things for yourself. You only ever pick goals so big, success isn't a realistic possibility, so you never have to contend with it or risk meeting it. You want what others have, but can't dream of taking it by force, and when you try to copy it you're never satisfied with the result. And you're incapable of thinking poorly about Nehaley."

Faye felt herself wilting. "Do you really mean all of that? Is that all... true?"

"Have you never wondered why you couldn't do these things?" Procyon shrugged. "Certainly, you helped shape Halcyon so that she wouldn't want to do some of them. But she, likewise, shaped you. Remember, you were nothing but an administrative shell when I left, designed only to regulate our powers and provide a buffer for Halcyon against learning things that would interfere with my plan for her life. So why did you want to shape her that way in the first place? Have you ever stopped to think about it?"

Faye's ears were all the way down. "I've been back for only two days, really. Not thinking about it has been my way to cope."

"Don't get me wrong," Procyon said. "I still think you're better off without me. You might be more limited without the scales to push through adversity, but absolute power and absolute freedom are how tyrants are minted. And even when I was fully in control, I wasn't getting what I wanted. None of us should be thinking about how to integrate me back into your life. I just... want to know, for what purpose was I allowed to come back?"

"I don't know," Faye said. "You've got a lot to say about how bad you were, but what did you actually do? If you had misused our changeling queen powers, I doubt merely erasing yourself from our memory would have been enough to hide it."

Procyon raised an eyebrow. "Do you really want to know?"

Faye shrugged. "If I don't, does it matter? You clearly need to get something off your chest. And if this is really all true, which, I can't see anymore how it wouldn't be... I should know. Especially if it's relevant to my life today."

"I tried to sabotage Ansel and Corsica's relationship, on purpose," Procyon said. "Because I was jealous. I had a crush on Corsica."

Faye blinked.

"You barely know what love is," Procyon went on. "You don't understand romance, beyond from an academic standpoint. And you only ever feel physical attraction toward machines. Did you think that was normal?"

Faye felt like she had a clock in her gut. "Y-Yes," she managed, stepping away from the window and looking back at her bed. "I did think that was normal. And you're being serious?"

"If you need a minute," Procyon said, drifting away, "I've got all eternity."

---

Twilight's word was true: Spike did keep weird hours. And it wasn't too hard for him to point Faye to the castle's very luxurious shower.

She stretched out under the misting water, the feeling of soot in her coat finally starting to wash away. Surrounded by bright lights, crystal tiles, and steam, her body could at last relax... which only made the thoughts in her head all the more distracting.

Procyon - her past self - had a crush on Corsica. And tried to sabotage Corsica's relationship with Ansel because of it. Could that even be possible?

Certainly, Faye used to have an obsession with Corsica. But it had always been in the form of an idol or role model, someone she followed because she wanted to be like them. And it was true that she always got on Ansel and Corsica's nerves, but that had been for fun, right? Or, it was just her awkward way of tagging along? Or...

She rubbed her forehead with a wingtip. Procyon's story had shaken her enough that she couldn't even remember her own version of events straightly. Was that a sign that Procyon was right? Or was this just how ponies worked?

Were there any ways Procyon could be wrong?

How contrived of an explanation would she need to convince herself that everything Procyon said was a lie? What could possess a part of her to invent things like this? What opaque end goal could these stories be pushing her toward, if they couldn't be taken at face value, and why would Procyon have such a goal?

She spun her brain, and came up with nothing. The biggest argument against what Procyon said was how jarring it felt. But a story needed to do more than feel jarring for there to be a convincing explanation as to why it was wrong.

And that meant... she used to be a jealous mare who didn't have issues putting her cards on the table to get what she wanted, and loved her best friend in a way that would lead her to sabotage that friend's relationships so she could have her to herself?

It just didn't feel possible. If she really loved someone, wouldn't that make her want to do what was in their own best interest, or help them pursue their own desires? Not the opposite. But her inability to understand stuff like this was proof of how little she knew about this field.

Maybe it was worth asking someone else for a second opinion. In a way that didn't make her sound like a basket case.

Still, imagining herself with the confidence and the initiative to see her plans through, not being choked by her own fear... It would be wonderful. And liberating. And terrifying, too. What would she have done in the Crystal Empire if she hadn't stopped herself from drawing on the Crystal Heart's power?

And all of this was only about Procyon, and what she had said. Faye hadn't yet spared a single thought to Unnrus-kaeljos, despite the fact that a god of calamity had just ordered her to aid the pony she was supposed to be spying on at the behest of Halcyon's captor.

She desperately needed someone to talk to. And it couldn't be Halcyon - Halcyon had been fragile enough as it was before getting snatched away, and learning what Faye had learned about the light spirit wouldn't help. But then who could she possibly turn to?

And of the people she did have around her, who could she actually make herself trust that much, even if she wanted to?

That was the real issue she faced. And it was even worse with how many powerful eyes were on her. Seigetsu was watching her, holding either Halcyon or her bracelet captive. Twilight was watching her, judging whether to come intervene in the north. Corsica was watching her, probably still mad at her for whatever had come between them in Snowport or the Crystal Empire. By her own admission, Procyon was lacking in moral character. And then, of course, there was Unnrus-kaeljos.

Faye needed help. She needed help and she didn't know where to find it. So she sat down in the shower and cried.

---

An indeterminate amount of time later, a knock sounded at the door.

Faye's ears spiked. "Hello?" she shouted over the rush of the water, realizing that someone else would eventually want to use this shower too. "Sorry, I'm almost done...!"

"Eh, no worries," Spike's voice sounded from the other side of the door. "Just checking to make sure you didn't forget to turn the water off when you left!"

Faye quickly cut the tap and blotted herself mostly dry, too many other things on her mind for her to care that she had left her robe back in her bedroom. Moments later, her fur still damp and slightly matted, she unlocked the door and stepped out into the castle.

"There you are!" Spike called, walking by. "Early riser breakfast is starting, but, uh, it might just be me. In case you want some pancakes." He pointed over his shoulder down a hallway with a thumb.

Breakfast? "How long was I in there?" Faye asked, her body just as waterlogged as her mind.

"Hour and a half." Spike shrugged. "I know mares like long showers, but usually they top out at an hour. You alright?"

Faye hesitated. She barely knew this tiny dragon. Out of all of Twilight's friends, she had seen him the least, only really meeting him in the Crystal Empire when he was playing the role of bard for an audience of crystal ponies.

But he didn't seem like a bad guy. And maybe it would be easier to get advice from someone she barely knew.

"No. Not really. I've got a lot on my mind," she said, starting in the direction he had indicated and was now going himself.

"Not surprising, really." Spike stretched as he walked, cracking his knuckles. "Twilight made it sound like something big happened down there yesterday. But hey, if you wanna ramble, I'll listen."

"It's not even about that, believe it or not," Faye said as they crossed a balcony over the foyer, a dining room coming into sight around the bend. "It's... Well, do you think it's weird not to like anyone? I mean romantically."

Spike raised an eyebrow as he waddled along. "You mean to be in between crushes, like you just got dumped and haven't settled on someone else yet, or to never have had any in the first place?"

"The latter," Faye said.

"Eh..." Spike twiddled his thumbs. "Yeah, it's pretty weird. But so what? I don't think Twilight's ever been in a relationship. And who isn't weird in some way or another?"

As they entered the dining room, Faye let that sink in. It had a broad window showing off the colors of the pre-sunrise sky, and was empty save for Starlight, who looked deep in thought. Spike saluted her.

"Morning," Starlight said, distracted.

"Important question," Spike announced, marching up to the table. "We need a second opinion: is it weird to never have crushes, ever?"

Starlight blinked. "No? Why?"

Spike pointed at Faye. Faye reddened. Thanks for keeping confidence, buddy...

Starlight frowned. "...Is someone harassing you about not getting hitched?"

"No," Faye said, trying not to trip over her words.

"Oh." Starlight went back to looking at the table. "I used to have that happen a bunch. But whatever brought this on, it's not weird. Sometimes you have more important things to worry about than who you like. Other times, you just don't care."

Spike glanced at Faye and shrugged, as if to say, there you have it.

Faye stood in the hallway, and slowly realized that she did feel better. Whatever she used to be, whatever she was 'supposed to' be, who cared? Who she was now was who she was now. Maybe it was just a matter of hearing that someone else felt the same.

"...Thanks," she said, taking a seat. "Anyway. I was promised pancakes?"

Spike waddled away again. "Yeah, coming right up!"

After he was gone, Starlight's eyes met Faye's. "You couldn't sleep either, huh?" Starlight guessed.

Faye folded her ears. "Had a restless night."

"Sounds like you have more on your mind than just what happened in that city, too," Starlight said. "I know I've had a lot to think about. For one, I wanted to apologize."

Faye tilted her head. "For?"

Starlight gave her a you don't remember? look. "For running away when we first met? For being reluctant to give you a commitment or a straight answer when you came all the way from Ironridge to look for my help?"

Oh. Faye looked down. "I've had so much going on since then, I forgot all about that," she admitted.

"Sounds like life," Starlight said. "But still. I've been living these last few weeks with my head in the sand. I still haven't decided what I'm going to do. But at the very least, I should have been ready to give you a straight answer when you came. I've been expecting the north to catch up with me for decades now, after all. At the very least, I should have been ready to explain to you why I'm reluctant."

Faye shook her head. "It's fine. You're not some perfect, mythical hero, even if that's what your old friends currently need. Neither am I. In fact, I'm probably the least-perfect pony I know. And I've got too many problems of my own to hold you responsible for yours. I barely even know if I have the capacity to stay on track to see this mission back to Ironridge, regardless of how much help I get."

"Few ponies do," Starlight answered. "You're underestimating how much it takes to pursue a goal like stop a war or save a city. Wars are fought between thousands of creatures on each side. Each and every one of them has something they're fighting for. What are the strength of your desires when weighed against all of theirs? Do you even want peace as badly as one of those warriors wants to see their enemy fall, let alone all of them?"

"Do you?" Faye asked, knowing that as a changeling queen, she had the capacity to possess that desire, even if she currently didn't.

"More like, do I want it badly enough to leave the comfort of my new home," Starlight said. "You'd think that I would. You'd think it would be impossible for me not to, given what I told you last night about what it is that I am."

"The Flame of Hope?" Faye guessed. "The world's will to exist?"

Starlight nodded. "The only way I can achieve anything close to stasis or peace is by fighting myself, essentially locking myself in place. I used to think of it like damming a river. Even if I would try to live a normal life and keep myself from fulfilling my ambitions, I would invariably fail after some time had passed. But after meeting Convergence... Convergence is like me. Not just a flame, but a flame given flesh, and the capacity for thoughts and desires beyond just what the flame is. But you saw how it existed. Using chaos to deny its purpose, and existing in a stable, controlled, tenuous balance."

Faye flicked her ears, listening.

"It made me think about... the metaphysical implications of what I'm doing to myself," Starlight said. "When we talk about emotions given physical form or physical powers, a lot of things you'd normally think of as metaphors become more real than you'd expect. If I'm fighting myself to be able to live a normal existence, does that mean I'm quashing the world's will to exist in turn? Is this a path that will simply put it into a lethargic coma? If my balance tips too far in the wrong direction, could the world die? The world is better off without Convergence, since its power could unravel the world's foundation. But it clearly needs mine. These are... the thoughts that kept me up last night."

Faye's own turmoil was almost entirely purged, listening to Starlight speak. "Why are you telling me this, though?" she asked. "I'm a complete stranger. That's... gotta be some of the most private stuff you could be thinking about."

Starlight shrugged. "You struck me as someone who could use a good example."

Faye's heart lifted just a little. "So are you just that altruistic, then?"

"Is it altruism if it costs me nothing?" Starlight asked. "You're from the north. You've evidently experienced a lot of hardship there. And if you've met my friends, I know you're not exaggerating about the kinds of messes you've gotten into. Perhaps I'm just trying to look out for a kindred spirit... or perhaps I'm hoping that if you can rise above your own demons, you'll find the strength to solve this war on your own."

"Do you really think that's possible?" Faye asked. "That I could resolve a war all by myself?"

"You evidently think it's possible for one pony to do." Starlight nodded. "Otherwise you wouldn't have come all the way here looking for me. It still surprises me you'd do that, even with the legacy I left behind up there."

Faye looked away. "Yeah, well... I've always felt it's easier to see my own path in life when I have something in the distance I'm looking to. Not that I find something like that often. And most of the time, it doesn't even turn out to have been worth my trust when I get there. But if your friends thought you were a perfect hero who could turn any situation around, I guess I just wanted to believe it."

"They were relying on me to save them even when I was a young child," Starlight said. "Often subconsciously. Sometimes explicitly. For me, that's just been how it always was. And they're still doing it." She closed her eyes and sighed.

For a moment, Faye let the silence remain. "Can I tell you something?" she eventually asked. "Just to get it out there."

"Go ahead," Starlight said.

"When Convergence was talking about splitting souls into pieces," Faye began. "And the golems were talking about it earlier, too. If you're a Flame of Harmony, and that's how the flames were made, that means that you're like this, right? Are you able to tell, like, that this is the way you are? Do you know any ways to confirm what it was saying? Because... I think I might be too."

Starlight's ears stood straight up.

"Not a Flame of Harmony, I mean," Faye hastily corrected. "Just... split. In my head, there are three of me. It's a magical phenomenon, not just a mental one. You've seen my emerald, right? That's one of my... selves."

Starlight held her hooves together and took a long breath. "I don't know enough to help confirm or deny that. I could try to figure out. Being what I am, I have some powers that might help with this, but..." She hesitated. "There's something funny about you. I haven't mentioned it to anyone, but it feels like you aren't really here. It's possible that gone-ness could be due to you not having a complete soul, if this is really what's going on. But it feels more to me like the tools I would try to use to find out just wouldn't interact with you at all."

"Lovely." Faye's face fell. "That's what Princess Luna said, too."

Shrouded in a golden mist, Luna had said. Hard to feel like it was a coincidence when Unnrus-kaeljos was golden too.

Starlight nodded. "Many of my powers are similar to hers. She was the wielder of the Immortal Dream before before it became me, after all. If she can't tell you anything about yourself, I doubt I can either."

So much for that. "This might be a different topic yet again," Faye started. "But what do you know about the two gods that destroyed Indus? You saw them too, on that staircase, right?"

"More than I'd like. And not enough." Starlight looked towards the window. "Most of my knowledge is about Tetra and Aegis. Aegis is Tetra's body, but also an independent creature you can talk to and interact with, on a limited level. Tetra is supposedly a disembodied intelligence that was discovered by the griffons in Indus two thousand years ago. She taught mortals how to create new gods, and Garsheeva, Celestia and Luna all arose as a result. Later, Tetra came into the Princesses' custody, and they took her back to Indus and sealed her away again. But I don't know who her opponent was, or why they were fighting, or where either of them came from in the first place."

"Do you think they were evil?" Faye asked, recalling Unnrus-kaeljos naming Tetra the great destroyer. "Or that one of them was in the right?"

Starlight's brow shadowed. "In the wake of what they did, I don't know if it matters anymore. I do know that well-intentioned creatures can do terrible things when they lose their way, and especially when they don't have friends to tell them when they're wrong and steer them back to the right path. I also know that there are plenty of reasons worth fighting for."

"Do your friends in the north count as a reason worth fighting for?" Faye whispered.

"Yes," Starlight said with no hesitation. "Absolutely. That just has no bearing on whether I can bring myself to get back on my hooves and fight for them."

Faye looked at her, the resignation on her face and in her voice washing over her like a cold tide. This didn't feel like hope. A Flame of Harmony shouldn't be feeling this way.

"What is it you're living for?" Faye asked. "Back when you still were trying, what was the future you wanted to see?"

Starlight pulled out a sturdy slip of parchment - from where, Faye couldn't say. It was full of legalese, but Faye was good at parsing that, and quickly identified it as a land title deed. A large one, more suited to a municipality than a home.

"We were going to build a village in Equestria," Starlight said, getting a faraway look in her eye. "One where we would make the rules. Where we would never have to worry about getting drawn into political plots by corrupt locals, never face citizens hostile because of Valey's race, never have to deal with mobs afraid of me because I was a foreigner. A place where we could put down our roots and settle down, where we could get to know ponies outside of our immediate friend group for the long term. An economic artery that Shinespark could use to revitalize Ironridge in the wake of its war. A home that the more adventurous members of our crew could return to in between their quests, so that none of us would ever have to say goodbye. That was what kept us going... but, it was an impossible dream."

"Sounds awesome to me," Faye pointed out. "Tell me you wouldn't censor historical information at random, and I'd want to live there."

"It was too good to be true," Starlight insisted, shaking her head. "A place like that sounded perfect to my pre-teen self, but the reality is that I could never live with good enough because I would always be aiming higher and seeing some new problem in the world to fix. I didn't realize it until the very end, but the Flame of Hope won't ever be satisfied until the world is back to its new, pristine state."

Faye sat back. "I guess that's a pretty tall order. But do you really think that not being able to be perfect is a good enough reason not to try at all?"

"You don't understand," Starlight went on. "The world is alive. It's built on the Flames of Harmony, which in turn are made from people from Indus. And it's designed to be a world where the emotional regulates the physical on a metaphysical level. That means that actually fixing it, beyond the physical task of taking all these broken, warring societies and forging them into a utopia that no one even has a coherent understanding of how it could work, you would have to heal the world emotionally as well. You're clearly someone who has seen your fair share of adversity in life. And you probably have a lot of emotional issues stemming from that. So if you can't fix yourself, do you really think you could fix the world?"

"I don't know!" Faye raised her voice. "But isn't your flame supposed to be the desire to try, whether or not there is a way? Isn't it your job to show everyone that there doesn't need to be a way, and they can still move forward?"

"...I don't know," Starlight said. "Maybe you're right. Maybe it is. But it still became too much for me to take. Even with the power of the Immortal Dream, my quest was perpetually exhausting. It never stopped. When I did stop it, when I finally tore myself away from that and tried to go it alone, it wasn't when I was defeated and broken. It was when the path ahead was still clear and open. There was a way. For me, there's always a way. And that's the problem. It's a way that never ends. Moving forward is all well and good, but what if you move and move and move and never get anywhere?"

"Better than not moving at all," Faye insisted. "Ironridge needs you. Your friends need you. And even if you can't make as much of a difference as you want, you could still do something."

Starlight said nothing.

"I mean... Look at me." Faye shrugged limply. "I came all the way here on the off chance that putting my faith in you would be better than doing nothing. And I'm gonna need something or someone to put my faith in after I leave Ponyville, too."

"I don't know what else I can say that I haven't told you already," Starlight said, neither angry nor upset. "I haven't made my decision yet. And I won't have made it, until it's too late. And for me, it's never too late, because there's always a way forward if I want there to be. But if I do commit, I don't know if I'll be able to stop again. I'm sorry to dump all these problems on you, I just... You're pushing, but there's nothing here for you to find."

Faye sighed. "Sounds like you need your flame rekindled just as much as Kindness."

"If that's true," Starlight said, "your mission with Kindness might take more than just some other flames and a Tree of Harmony."

"Starlight..." Faye reached out a hoof, but dropped it. It was clear that she could go no further this way.

Starlight had helped her, and she no longer felt her own malaise of problems clouding her mind. If only she could return the favor.

She shook her head, and resigned herself to-

"Pathetic," said a voice from the window.

It was Papyrus, lounging on the windowsill, his tail swaying in the breeze.

Faye jumped. Starlight's pupils constricted.

"A god gets in your way, and you kill them out of pure spite," Papyrus said, pointing a hoof at Starlight. "A picturesque village falls a hair short of your standards, and you hop on a boat and go all the way across the world to try again. Your friend dies, and you run all the way to the afterlife to drag them back to the living. You hate losing even more than I do! And yet you can't even manage a measly jaunt across some mountains you've crossed on hoof twice before just to win a war against a foe you've already beaten?" His eyes glittered with a savage grin. "Pathetic."

Comments

[RD-loves-RA]

Halcyon is going to freak out when she comes back. Great chapter as always!

[Boopers]

Why are those ponies so relatable?
Am I a broken soul as well?
Is totally-not-Gazelle going to kick some ass?

[RoboRed]

Oh yeah. That guy. He's a thing I kinda forgot about.
Hey there, dude.

[BurningSkies]

"...I don't know," Starlight said. "Maybe you're right. Maybe it is. But it still became too much for me to take. Even with the power of the Immortal Dream, my quest was perpetually exhausting. It never stopped. When I did stop it, when I finally tore myself away from that and tried to go it alone, it wasn't when I was defeated and broken. It was when the path ahead was still clear and open. There was a way. For me, there's always a way. And that's the problem. It's a way that never ends. Moving forward is all well and good, but what if you move and move and move and never get anywhere?"

It's an Immortal Dream...because it is impossible. When one's hopes and dreams are achieved, they're not dreams anymore, they're reality.

Looking at the Virtue of Knowledge through the same lens, suddenly it's not so incompatible with magic that only works on a subject if they lack knowledge of the magic, like Celestia's trains. She wields the Virtue of Knowledge, known as the Noble History. History is what we know about the past using what knowledge, artifacts and perspectives on it are available in the present. Due to the passage of time, many of these will be lost, forever leaving later generations ignorant of what they tell. The past may be full of morally dubious developments and outright atrocities, but if the evidence of these is lost, then the history will seem better, nobler than the truth.

Especially since it's ponies from Indus who named these virtues, these tenets. Does this new world they have such high hopes for really need to know the flaws of the past world that created it? Or is ignorance bliss?

[Venlinelle]

"I tried to sabotage Ansel and Corsica's relationship, on purpose," Procyon said. "Because I was jealous. I had a crush on Corsica."

Of course you did. The percentage of gay characters inches ever closer to 100%…

That was a really good conversation to get. I was just thinking that, while all the crazy magic worldbuilding is fun, I greatly missed TOW’s character interactions, and this felt like a real return to form (or at least, to what I love about your writing). Poor Starlight…

Papyrus/Gazelle is here to cause problems, I see. On the other hand, maybe it’ll help motivate Glimglam…?

[sploopy slooder]

i just want halcyon back man, faye is depressing as hell. its a bit much when its ONLY faye around.