• Published 12th Mar 2021
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The Immortal Dream - Czar_Yoshi



In the lands north of Equestria, three young ponies reach for the stars.

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The Aerial Boredom Factor

The first day on Starlight's airship was over before Corsica could even process it had happened. But as the days dragged on into a week, she began paying attention to how everyone else was coping with being stuck in a flying box with nowhere to go and nothing to do.

Rainbow Dash was the most restless of the bunch, which was peculiar as she was also the only one fast enough to go out for a fly and still keep pace with the ship. And go out for a fly she did, whenever she wasn't taunting Twilight about all the things she had seen that weren't on any of Twilight's maps.

Twilight, for her part, had never gotten over being told about the train magic, constantly demanding info about the world they were flying over and starting a valiant project to map the terrain they passed - a project that collapsed about thirty-six hours into the voyage when she finally fell asleep and no one else was capable of filling in to her standards.

Corsica had shared a little of that incredulity when she first heard. Not on the same level; she was a tourist who had only been here for weeks, and Twilight was a princess and a scholar who had every business knowing a thing like this. But hers had quickly evaporated when she realized the true reason all this empty land could have been kept a secret: it really was empty.

Unspoiled reaches of hills, plains and mountains alternated with rivers and forests, crisscrossing the landscape. Corsica started playing a game with herself by looking for good places to settle down and start a village. A valley between three isolated peaks, the narrow passes choked with trees to hide its existence from outsiders? A delta where two rivers converged into a lake, acres of plains ripe for farmland sprawling out in the shadow of a mountain range that could protect against high winds? A horseshoe formation of water around an inland peninsula, a sparse, tall-trunked grove with room for houses between the trees, a mountain steppe that could provide shelter for cool-weather crops and spectacular views of the land below...

And not one of these places was occupied. Ponies were nowhere to be seen.

"You ever think about how much land is just sitting here, completely unused?" Corsica asked Rarity, the only pony who happened to be around at the time.

"Hardly," Rarity said. "While I can see the appeal of roughing it in the wilderness as an occasional vacation tactic, isn't it so much more natural for ponies to live where other ponies already are? Perhaps if you were a hermit who wanted to get away from it all, and I'll admit to these vistas being a fantastic muse. But what's the point of having a muse if no one is around to see what it drives you to create?"

"Hermitism ain't got nothing to do with it," Applejack said, wandering into earshot and furrowing her brow before striding over.

Corsica glanced at her, sensing a story. "Oh yeah?"

Applejack shook her head. "Frontier life's not for everyone, sure. But Ponyville was founded by my family on commission from Princess Celestia herself. I can't give the lecture half as well as Granny Smith, but leaving your life behind to settle uncharted lands takes gumption and grit, and a whole 'nother sense of purpose. Resources, too. Living off the land is great and all, but you need yourself a hoofhold before the first round of hard times arrives, and it sure ain't gonna knock before coming in."

Rarity raised an eyebrow at her. "But Ponyville was hardly uncharted, you must admit. It's visible from Canterlot, darling. And the Princesses used to have a castle right next door!"

Applejack gave her a self-sure look. "Well, that only tells you how much harder it would be to colonize a place as remote as this. Two hundred years ago, you could ask the same question about why no one had settled Ponyville. And the simple answer for this place is, the right ponies just haven't come around to do the job yet."

"You think they ever will?" Corsica asked.

Applejack blinked. "Well, sure, someday. Might not be any of us left alive to see it, but why wouldn't they? As long as they don't turn it into some eyesore of a city, this here is good land. Only right to treat it like such."

"But what if that never happens?" Rarity prodded, following Corsica's train of thought. "After all, these hills and valleys seem to have gone unspoiled for thousands of years already, and you seem to agree with me that the forces keeping ponies from wandering in and making a mess of them are quite robust. So who's to say they won't stay this way until the end of time?"

"The end of time ain't exactly a regular occurrence..." Applejack started, then trialed off. "You're not thinking about what that Convergence said, are you? And all the stuff we saw down in that city?"

"Not in a doom-and-gloom sense," Rarity carefully said. "Though I think I am realizing something. If this world truly was created by our own distant ancestors, by ponies, and yet is so much larger than we have any realistic use for even thousands of years later, don't you suppose they could have made it this way as art? Perhaps these landscapes are beautiful because someone wanted to create something beautiful, and that's all there is to it."

"Sounds wasteful to me," Applejack mused. "Why would you make something no one's got a use for? Seems more likely to me they just wanted to be prepared for the future, and not have us go running out if we needed that land."

Corsica frowned out at the hills, a series of cliffs covered in lush greenery opening up on the other side of a snow-capped line of mountains. "Or it could be they overestimated the amount of space we'd need."

Rarity gave her a look. "Forgive me if I'm out of touch with the rest of the world, Corsica, but that city we witnessed down below was far and away grander than any we've conceived of in the modern age. Why, I'd bet you could fit the entire population of Equestria inside the real thing, give or take. If anything, they'd be expecting to need less space than modern society does."

"Unless they weren't living that closely together by choice," Corsica pointed out. "Some of them thought we were refugees, remember? It sounded like ponies from all over their world were being forced to move to that city. So maybe it was designed to hold the entire population of..." She trailed off, a different thought hijacking her stream of consciousness. "You think they might have made it this big to prepare for some event that would cause livable space to become much smaller?"

"If they did, not much we could do about it from up here on an airship," Applejack stiffly said. "Personally, I see more sense in appreciating the present than catastrophizing about the future, and I'm usually the last to rest on her laurels."

"Come now," Rarity chided, "you have to admit speculating about the distant past can be interesting."

"I don't know the context," Starlight said, wandering over, "but it's only interesting when the distant past isn't trying to kill you."

Rarity and Applejack both chuckled.

"You here for anything?" Applejack asked. "Or just appreciating the view?"

"I've appreciated this view for longer than I care to reflect on," Starlight said. "I'm glad you're enjoying it, though. Just checking in on the crew and seeing if anyone's found anything interesting to do."

"We could always fight again," Corsica suggested, a lingering soreness in her muscles from too much exercise that was far more welcome than the feeling of atrophy from laying around.

Starlight looked at her with something approaching fondness. "You're enjoying this that much?"

Corsica flexed.

Starlight shook her head. "I... don't know if I should encourage that. This isn't supposed to be fun. Fighting for your life is terrifying, and should never be anything but. Preparing for that should be a necessity, not recreation. But I had fun learning, too. Or, as much as I could appreciate anything, back then. So maybe it's me who doesn't understand how this works." She glanced around for Rainbow Dash, then shrugged. "If anyone else wants in, they can hear us and show up later. Let's clear some space."


My lair was finally starting to feel like my own.

I had precious little resources to use for customization. My lifestyle up until now, especially recently, hadn't been conducive to having or carrying around belongings to decorate with, and I couldn't even rearrange the furniture since all of it was bolted down.

But limitations aside, I had myself, and I had a lock on the door. And that was all I needed.

Laying flat on my back, on my bed, with my robe and boots set aside on a hangar and rack by the door, safe in the knowledge that this was my room and my space and no one would dare to intrude, I had everything I wanted, and could finally, truly relax.

Well, not quite everything. Seigetsu still had my bracelet. And I had no idea how I was going to get it back.

The ship's funny new-ship smell wasn't nearly as strong as it had been during that initial flight to stock up at Canterlot, but it never completely faded, either. My window was just barely too small for an adult to comfortably fall out of, though such restrictions didn't apply to me with shadow sneaking, and I almost wished I could fly so that I could comfortably use it as an exit and seal up the strip of space under my door. The lights were a good hue, faintly blue, except for some reason relaxing, despite the fact that blue light was usually bad for that. I could hear the harmony comet shimmering in the distance, keeping the ship aloft.

I closed my eyes, at peace with the present, and tried to reach for my past.

Sleep didn't come on demand, and even if it could, I couldn't control what I dreamed. And even if I did, my dreams couldn't reach back before I was born, and they couldn't go to places I had never been. But still, I let myself imagine, reaching a hoof into the darkness for the mare who had given me life, and gone on to slaughter my entire race.

"Who are you?" I whispered, imagining my words drifting not into the air, but somewhere else. "Why did you do it? What did you feel?"

The blackness on the other side of my eyelids absorbed my words, and didn't respond. I could feel my emptiness, in a way that reminded me of how I used to take my mask off, when Faye and I weren't quite separate yet. There were almost no stars here... Only a few, on the ship, and a quasar directly above, where the harmony comet would be.

"Did you really care about me that much, that I could have been the final push that sent you over the edge?" I breathed, my words winding between the stars. "How would things be today if you didn't do it? How are things today, the way you did do it? Why are you in Yakyakistan, invading Ironridge? It can't be about me, can it? Not anymore. Do you even know I'm alive? What are your goals? Or is it only instincts and emotion? Have you given up on the idea of a world where you get a say in the way things go, and are just lashing out? Or is there a plan, something you think is worth all the things you're doing? If there is, I'm sure I'd never agree with it, but I want to know. Where are you going? Where am I going? Who do I look to for how to live with my power, for how to have a normal life and how to teach Coda to do the same? Why... aren't you here for me?"

I wish I knew, Faye said in my mind, hovering beside me in the darkness like a flame of light.

We listened, but the universe gave no answer. Rather, it didn't give a ready one. But I could feel them out there, dozens of answers, none of which had decided to become true yet. Like a cloud of possibility, willing me to reach in and struggle for the things I wanted to see in the world.

That feeling was a lie. Nothing I did could change history, could rewrite what was already set in stone. That wasn't how things worked in the world. I couldn't change how Chrysalis felt, why she had done the things she had done.

But I still felt it. Why-

The real world intruded, in the form of a knock on my door. It was a little harder to open my eyes than I expected it to be.

"Who is it?" I loudly mumbled, the harmony comet somehow burned into my vision even though it was separated from me by solid wood. "Is it dinnertime already?"

"Oh, nobody important," the voice of Nanzanaya sang through the door. "Merely your long-neglected partner and beneficiary... You do remember my name, right?"

"Err, yeah," I said. "Do you want me to come out? I'll need to get dressed..."

"Would it make you comfortable enough to finally converse with me if we each remained where we are and spoke through this door instead?"

I hesitated.

"I've been doing my best to ingratiate myself to your traveling companions and familiarize myself with the culture of these lands," Nanzanaya went on. "And while I understand the urge to be a broody recluse and have been deeply patient about it thus far, I'm starting to think you don't actually want to work with me."

So... did I tell her the truth, or...?

"Which in and of itself is fine," Nanzanaya continued. "Except our working together is a prophesied matter, and I'd prefer not to upset my benefactor powers that be by going against their wishes. Also, destiny is rude and will drag you kicking and screaming into this unless you work with me willingly on your own."

I bit my lip.

"And finally," Nanzanaya went on, "we're both in the same boat with Seigetsu stalking us, and if we're going to pull a fast one on her it really might be better to do this as a team. Don't you think?"

"Alright, alright," I sighed, walking over to pull my boots on. "Give me just a moment..."


Talking about how I was missing two days worth of memories was awkward. Doing it with ponies I barely knew was doubly awkward, and it was especially so when Faye went out of her way to remind me to tell Nanzanaya of this. Was there something the two of them had discussed during those days, something I ought to know? If so, why couldn't she just tell me instead of making Nanzanaya do the work, and risking her leaving stuff out?

But I did it anyway, because I was also tired of ponies forgetting or not knowing about this hole in my memory. And, thankfully, Nanzanaya took it all in stride.

Which shouldn't have surprised me, as she soon reminded me what I'd overheard in the Aegis room, just before being taken.

"Forgetfulness is a part of life," she said with a shrug. "Sometimes it's even magical. I've heard of plenty of magic before that can make someone forget you exist. The dragons have it. We've got another strain down south, though ours is a bit less controlled than it is here. So, you could say I've seen this before."

"You have?" I pressed, not yet having mentioned why I couldn't remember those two days. "What causes it? How come?"

Nanzanaya grinned. "Mmm... It's a secret. Unless you tell me what's up with your amnesia first?"

"Pass." I already knew what she had said in the Aegis room: that her people were afflicted by a curse caused by a dark tower Abyssinia was building on their border, causing them to gradually forget each other. Whether that was true or not, I mostly wanted to know if the story she told Luna would match up with the story she told me. But not badly enough to talk about my own situation.

"Pity," she said. "Then I guess my lips are sealed."

"So what exactly do you want from me?" I pressed. "I know we're prophesied to work together, and all that, but I've got my hooves more than full taking care of matters in my own home, right?"

Nanzanaya gave me a look. "So forgetful... I need to convince Equestria to mount a military intervention against Abyssinia. This shouldn't be difficult. It makes overwhelming tactical sense for them to do so. Their allies, the dragons, are already at war with the monster kingdom. Equestria shares a border with both of them, and could become embroiled anyway if the conflict escalates. And my people, the zebras, have a fraught history with Equestria that could easily be repaired with such an act of goodwill. With Equestria's aid we could form a coalition of three against one, and even the new power Abyssinia is amassing would surely be no match for the alicorn goddesses. The only limiting factor is the low credibility of my name, and Equestria's apparent unwillingness to involve themselves in matters beyond their borders... which, might I say, is not how they did things a thousand years ago."

She stared out the window - we had moved to her room, since I wasn't letting anyone into mine. "You seem to have had some manner of success establishing a rapport with the ponies on this ship, all of whom wield considerable power. I have been struggling to do the same. And while my own efforts may eventually bear fruit, they would go so much faster if you could lend your good name to mine."

"I don't have a good name," I pointed out. "I'm still considered a wannabe Aegis burglar because of that stunt you pulled in the Crystal Empire, remember? Why did you even do that?"

"I meant it to be a surefire means of contacting the powers that be," Nanzanaya sighed. "A method of ringing their doorbell, as it were. Though in hindsight, I suppose I did imagine you would take more advantage of the opportunity than you wound up doing..." She shook her head. "But what's done is done. Thanks to you, we now have a lengthy airship ride with the ponies who all but certainly would be at the vanguard of any effort to assist my homeland. And any military commander worth their salt knows that if the general who would be risking his or her life at the forefront of an operation is in favor of it, that opinion is worth more than any other."

I shuffled my hooves. "You know I'm currently invested in getting them to help out my own homeland in the north, right? Because that's kind of in the opposite direction from where you want them to go."

"True," Nanzanaya said, not in the least dispirited. "But you also have met with success in getting them moving in that direction, which means your talents and methods could be employed to my service as well."

"Actually, it was mostly Corsica who won them over," I pointed out. "I did basically nothing, and not for want of trying. So why don't you go pester her about it instead of me?"

Nanzanaya pointed at my forehead, where she allegedly saw an unnerving golden eye just like I saw on her. "Because she's not my prophesied ally. You are."

No, she was just mistaking me for that, when she was likely looking for Duma the centaur instead. Not that I was telling her a thing like that.

"But what's in this for me?" I pressed. "I need their help for the north. Your prophesy says I'm supposed to help you, but does it say why I'd want to? Because I'm not really seeing that."

"Admittedly, the prophesy made no mention of you not jumping at the chance to contribute," Nanzanaya said. "In fact, it made it sound like you would already have perfectly good reasons to assist me of your own volition. But should you need incentive, might I remind you that I am a priestess and you a mere dabbler in powers you do not comprehend? I can pay you in information. Anything you might like to know about your circumstances, I can tell you, for the price of your commitment."

"Give me a freebie," I told her. "To prove you're not a hack. What's the deal with these forehead marks? Where do they come from, and why do they not exactly scream 'good guy'?"

Nanzanaya sighed, then lowered her voice. "It is the symbol of our god, the Traveler in the Deep: Unnrus-kaeljos, Maker of Deals. On rare occasions, those with desperation in their hearts who descend to the floor of the world will meet him, and be granted any wish in exchange for a price. This marking is given to all who have accepted such a deal, so that we can identify each other. You know the being of whom I speak."

I swallowed. "You could say that. Who is he, and what does he want?"

Nanzanaya smiled mysteriously. "Is that your way of asking why you should trust him?"

"Well, I wasn't gonna be so blatant," I offered. "But sure."

"To answer that, I would have to trust him myself," Nanzanaya quietly replied. "Unnrus-kaeljos is maddeningly vague, and reality itself seems in on the charade. My order exists in large part to keep memory and knowledge of him alive. Such can only be accomplished through the telling of oral tales: words written down about him will slowly rearrange themselves, becoming inaccurate and then innocuous before removing all mention of him altogether."

I shuddered.

"I was inducted into this order independently of meeting him, after others spied the symbol on my forehead and drew me in," Nanzanaya whispered. "One thing we believe to know for certain is that Unnrus-kaeljos is not of this world. I do not mean the blackness of space, but perhaps another dimension or paradigm entirely. We have expended a great deal of effort trying to learn and reproduce the exact mechanism by which he is summoned, relying mostly on gathered testimonies of those who met him of their own volition... which is all of us. From our gathered testimonies, we believe he leaks into this world through some type of crack or fissure in reality, but understand nothing of the mechanism underlying that, or even the nature of such fissures."

I thought about ether crystal fault planes.

"How many of you are there?" I asked. "Back at your home."

"Of our order, in total?" Nanzayana shrugged. "Three. Counting myself and not you."

"Must be lonely," I remarked.

"Oh, to an extent," she admitted. "None of this stops us from talking to others about it, not that there's much of a point in doing so. In fact, we have a fourth member who lacks the eye, and merely happened to believe us. She's even younger than I am, not that we can afford to be picky when the master is getting on in years. Part of my duties entail diligent memorization of our entire body of knowledge about Unnrus-kaeljos, so that I can someday pass it on as well to the next generation."

"And you want me to help you with that," I guessed.

Nanzanaya nodded. "It would be welcome. Though as you are native to an entirely different area of the world, I might hazard a guess you would be even more useful standing vigil in a different community, keeping watch for marked ones whom we miss. Have you ever met others with this mark?"

"...Yeah." It felt safe to say. "A couple of times."

"I knew it," Nanzanaya whispered. "As the keepers of this secret, Halcyon, we are guardians of sorts. What does Unnrus-kaeljos desire? Could a wish made to him be employed to nefarious ends? Is he benevolent, or is he wicked? Should such questions ever become answered, it would do well for someone to exist who is prepared to use the answers. That is why we watch."

"And what does your invasion have to do with that?" I asked. "The one you want Equestria to mount against Abyssinia."

"Nothing," Nanzanaya said. "And everything. Were my homeland to fall, and my order along with it, our accumulated knowledge would be wiped out. Were we to flee, to abandon a home with accessible connections to the underworld, ponies might become cut off from Unnrus-kaeljos, and we would lose our supply of those with the ability to identify each other and pass this information along."

My gaze softened a little. "So more than any mystical chicanery, it's about trying to survive."

"Not purely," Nanzanaya admitted. "I did still seek you out by our symbol. In part because our shared connection could form the foundation for a bridge of trust between us, but also because whatever the price, Unnrus-kaeljos is known to grant great power. By virtue of your contract with him, you are not a nobody, Halcyon. You are sure to be a mover in this world, and that makes you a better ally than most."

"Well, what about you, then?" I asked, feeling slightly hollow. "What did you ask him for? And if it's so great, why not do this by yourself?"

Nanzanaya chuckled. "Ah, but I did set out to do this by myself, didn't I? As for what I asked for, I can't simply tell you everything in one go. I trust I've given you enough to consider giving me the time of day once in a while, yes? At the very least, I still need the details of your own encounter with our god to add to my collection, and you surely have questions that can only be answered by the lore in my noggin."

"I guess," I said. "But just so we're clear, I'm not so curious that I'd throw Ironridge and Icereach under the cart and tell Twilight and the others to turn around, okay?"

"You'll get hooked eventually," Nanzanaya said, waving toward the door. "Now get on with yourself. I'm sure you've got whatever I interrupted to get back to."


A short while later, Faye stood near the prow, with me hovering beside her as a ghost, watching Starlight sparring with Corsica and Rainbow Dash. Some days I joined in, but not today.

"Do you trust her?" Faye whispered, though the wind was blowing and she would have needed to shout to be overheard.

"No," I said instinctively. "Maybe a little more than I used to, but she could have been making a lot of that up. She did know about how the light spirit met us, though. Or at least, it did the same to her."

"I wonder what Procyon would have to say about this," Faye murmured. "That zebra said we always got something in exchange for a price, but..."

"But we didn't pay one?" I guessed. "Unless it's something we aren't even aware of."

Faye shook her head. "I don't know. It's possible that Procyon would have considered something a price, but the way we are now, we don't. After all, what price could you extract from someone who wants to disappear?"

"Maybe the price was that it was temporary, and I brought her back."

Faye hummed skeptically. "Some tricksters might think that way. Others wouldn't. I'm not sure... if there's any way to know for sure."

I tilted my head. "Even asking Procyon?"

"I trust her about as much as Nanzanaya."

I sighed. "Well, at least we've got each other."

Faye said nothing.

"What if," I ventured, "it just... doesn't matter? What if we ignore Unnrus-kaeljos and just get on with our lives, with trying to help Ironridge and Coda? Maybe it's counterproductive to get hung up on something that happened so long ago, to keep searching for meaning in a part of our life that changed everything and just learn to live with the way things are now?"

"That's not something I ever thought I'd hear you suggest," Faye said. "You used to be constantly searching for the supernatural in every facet of our life. Now Nanzanaya says this, and you can think about not chasing it?"

"Guess I'm getting jaded," I said. "Or maybe I'm being more clear-eyed with myself about what it is I'm chasing. Before, back then, the concept of a god might have just been the word I put to something I couldn't describe, when I wanted a reason for why things are the way they are. But we know so much more now, like about Chrysalis. I... want to know what she was really thinking, why she did what she did, if she regrets it and wishes her life had gone a different way. And I think that's the same impulse that used to make me look for supernatural excuses. That feeling of always looking up, because I want there to be a roof over my head. Right?"

I looked up, as if to emphasize my point. The harmony comet shimmered back down at me.

"If there's one thing I've learned," Faye said, "it's that we have an impulse to run from our past, and it never works out forever. I think it will matter. Call it superstition, but it's one born from experience. I'll bet you anything this isn't the last we've heard about Unnrus-kaeljos in our lives."

"Well, let's cross that bridge when we come to it," I suggested. "For now, want to go join in with Corsica and the others? We're not getting chased or arrested, and crippling paranoia seems to have passed us by for the day. Might as well enjoy it."

"...Yeah. Good point." Faye reached out a hoof. "You take the lead for this, though. I've got some thinking to do."

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