A Cozy Tale

by Leondude

Chapter 12 - Chaos in the Court

It was two days since Tirek's attack on Equestria. Two days that Facade had waited for since Discord was now on trial for his involvement. As he stood with the rest of the jury, he smugly looked down at Discord, who wore handcuffs that nullified his magic and was surrounded by several armed guards and a pony in a suit that would appear to be his lawyer. He was almost surprised that the princesses didn't pardon him for his actions, considering how often he hung out with one of them. Then again, there were only so many times you could pardon somepony for their actions before the thought of a coup popped into the heads of the commoners. Not that anypony would even dare to overthrow Celestia and the other princesses but Facade could only hope it does happen, if only to have a justice system more to his liking. He was soon snapped out of his treasonous thoughts by the bang of the judge's gavel.

"In the case of Equestria vs. Discord, the defendant is charged with being an accomplice to grand theft of all the magic in Equestria," the judge said "We shall now begin with the opening statements."

"Your Honor and the good ponies of the jury," Discord's lawyer announced, "My client is not guilty by reason of insanity."

Facade held back a laugh at what the lawyer said. Did Discord really think he could get off on an insanity plea? While he was certainly eccentric, Facade knew full well that Discord was capable of knowing right from wrong. Why else would he blackmail him into being nice to his neurotic nag of a wife and insufferable brat he called his daughter? But as long as Discord is locked up somewhere, whether it would be prison or a mental institution, Facade could care less about the jury's verdict. Although, he would definitely prefer Discord to rot in Tartarus even if it was just for a year. Anything to get that draconequus out of his mane.

---

Facade and the rest of the jury sat within a room different from the courtroom, the smug grin never leaving his face. It was rare for him to be ecstatic about something but he could not stop smiling at the fact that he would play a part in Discord's sentencing. With the room silent, he felt it best that he would be the one to speak what should be on everypony's mind.

"So...we can all agree he's guilty, right?" Facade asked.

The rest of the jury murmured and nodded in agreement. All except one. A red unicorn with a dishevelled mane, tail and beard.

"I dunno," the unicorn said, "I kinda get the sense he's not fit to stand trial."

"Pardon?" Facade asked, annoyed that not everypony was unanimous in their decision.

"I might be playing Grogar's Advocate here but come on," the unicorn said "The dude's from another plane of existence. Can't really judge him by our standards of morality now, can we?"

"Oh, yes we can!" another pony, one that Facade recognized by the blue fedora, replied, "He took over Equestria twice and both times, he got turned into stone."

"Yeah, but didn't Celestia free him the second time around?" the red unicorn asked.

"Clearly, a ruffian such as yourself does not read the news that often," a grey unicorn in a green shirt arrogantly retorted

"Several inmates in Tartarus broke out not long ago and I highly doubt Celestia would risk her flank just to round them all up again."

"Actually, I did know that," the red unicorn retorted "But since Luna came back from being Nightmare Moon, don't you think another reason for freeing Discord is because of her sister?"

"Hate to burst your bubble there but there's a huge difference between a pony that was corrupted by magical forces and a draconequus that was always evil," Facade replied.

"Where does it say Luna became corrupted?" the red unicorn asked, "All the stories say was that she got jealous."

"Since when were you the history buff?" the grey unicorn asked.

"Since I liked reading," the red unicorn snarkily replied.

"Then you would know that Discord used to be an associate of King Vorak," a medium grey Earth pony told him "And King Vorak is the father of Tirek."

"Are you saying Discord's part of a plot by the centaurs to take over Equestria?" the red unicorn asked, "Because if so, that's the dumbest conspiracy ever."

Facade rubbed his forehead, frustrated by the squabbling of the jury. While he wasn't picky about what verdict Discord got, as long as he was locked away, he was hoping everypony would be unanimous in their decision. It was a no-brainer that Discord was guilty as charged. Without hesitation, he got up and slowly trotted to the red unicorn before levitating him slightly with his magic and pouncing on him like a rabid predator.

"Listen, pal," Facade said calmly as he squeezed the unicorn's throat with his hooves "We can't give a verdict if we all don't agree on the same thing. So either you say he's guilty or I will tell the local authorities about your little adventures abroad."

"H...How do you know about those?" the red unicorn asked between breaths.

"Let's just say it's not smart to steal bits from me," Facade said with a far more menacing tone.

"Okay! Okay! Guilty!" the red unicorn shouted.

"Good," Facade said in a calm voice once again "That wasn't so hard, was it?"

Facade looked at the other members of the jury, many of which had looks of horror on their faces.

"What?" Facade shrugged "I used to work as a bouncer. I know how to get ponies to behave. Or, at the very least, how to kick them out of the club when they ain't behaving."

The horror of the jury quickly turned to confusion as they tried to connect Facade's experience as a bouncer to nearly choking out somepony that apparently had history with him.

So much for order in the court.

Author's Note:

Yeah, the red unicorn vouching for Discord being not guilty would be my OC, Lion Dude.

If you're wondering why Discord pleaded insanity, it's because A. he's cuckoo for cocoa puffs, and B. provided the mental hospital he would have been treated in knows how to take care of its patients, it would have way more preferable than...Tartarus?

Either way, his sentence didn't last very long because he's still hanging out with Fluttershy is season 5.

Comments

[TigerCat111]

I'm suprised he didn't represent himself XD

[Wild Stallion]

Either way, his sentence didn't last very long because he's still hanging out with Fluttershy is season 5.

I am just going to go ahead and guess Celestia had a hand in arranging that.

[Leondude]

10314591
I would not put it past her.