You know, you can miss someone in your head and not really appreciate the full breadth of it until they’re right in front of you again. Or, in my face, right up in your face and kind of also on top of you.
All that detail just comes rushing back! Like, I’d missed her presence but I’d forgotten the sheer force of the why! You know? Just, ah, man, she’s there - no, she’s here! If I blink she might not be anymore! If I let go she might not be anymore!
Also she smells nice and has pretty eyes. Hey, I’m not especially complicated.
And hey, Twilight’s here too. I like that. Makes me happy. She’s even more adorable than I remembered. Even when she is, uh, bawling into my side and apologising whenever she isn’t sobbing incoherently.
I gave her a stroke but I couldn’t really tell if she noticed or not. I kept it up, hoping it might soothe her, before looking back up to Celestia, whose face remained more-or-less an inch from mine.
“I heard you were in town,” I said. Casual-like.
Her smile basically just filled everything I could see, and even if it was one composed mostly of relief it was still just there, being basically everything.
“Just passing through, you know,” she said.
I nodded but I sure couldn’t look away.
“Ah, makes sense. Just thought you’d track me down to fill up a day?”
“Something like that.”
It was probably Twilight being attached to me that was keeping Celestia from really breaking down, I reckoned. Certainly what was holding back what I suspected was a lot of, ah, relieved smooching. I could see the urge in her eyes, but she held back. Wise, probably. I held back too. Time and place, people, time and place.
She did, though, go in for a nuzzle and while doing that ask me quite quietly and right in my ear:
“Are you okay?”
Ah, shivers. Why does she do that she knows that happens.
“I’m fine, love, honest. Totally fine,” I said, giving her side a pat with the hand not at that moment attempting to calm Twilight down. Twilight, for her part, had at least gone quieter. So that was nice.
Celestia pulled back again, looked at me closely.
“I’m fine, really. Totally fine. Kind of a weird episode I’ll admit but I am totally fine. Probably just need to stretch my legs and I’ll be right as rain. You ever been stuck in a room for an extended period? I know that’s kind of my thing but it’s not great.”
I’m getting more of a serious look from her, now.
“What did she do?” She asked, going for quietly but not managing to go quietly enough to keep from setting Twilight off again. Ack, more stroking!
I’m not going to bother getting into asking how they know this or that or what they know. I’m just going to assume everyone knows more about what happened to me than I did. I am a leaf on the wind, bubble in the stream, just going along with everything, wherever you go there you are and all that. Story of my life.
More to the point I really don’t have the energy to even think about answering that question.
“Can I have a sit down before we get into that? Sorry. It’s just been kind of my whole deal for a while now. Ooh. How long has it been, by the way? I kind of lost track.”
Seemed like a good question to ask and certainly made the serious look go away, though what replaced it was mild concern. Never a fan of that, myself.
“You don’t know?” Celestia asked me.
“Like I say, kind of lost track.”
A second perhaps of hesitation, then:
“It’s been nearly two months.”
“Two months?! Fuck me sideways. I thought it was, uh…”
I actually had no idea how long I thought it might have been. Less than that! Fuck me!
That’s a lot of wasted days of hanging around in a room doing sweet FA, Jesus Christ!
Damnit, Umbra! I had shit to do! Probably.
“Time flies when you’re locked in a room at the top of a tower that’s apparently not - you know what, no, no I am not talking about this I am done with this for right now. Let’s, uh, anything else. Sound good to you?”
“Tea?” She suggested.
I did give her a kiss then. Just a little one. Couldn’t help myself! Twilight wasn’t going to notice anyway and it did make Celestia go a wonderfully light shade of pink.
“I could do something far more hot and heavy than that were we not in public,” I said, getting another nuzzle for my troubles, probably just an excuse for Celestia to hide her blush.
“No need to hold back on their account,” she said right into my ear. More shivers, agh.
“Oh you,” I said, reaching a hand up to just trail along her neck to her ears. This sort of thing came naturally, I realised. Barely even had to think about it! Gratifyingly it meant I got a shiver out of her. Take that, Celestia!
Then she pulled back out and, again, I got to enjoy that smile. No relief in it this time. Just straight-up smile.
“No, you,” she said.
I, uh.
I am extremely happy.
Probably this is the point that the rug gets pulled out and the whole thing turns out to be some sort of high-falutin’ illusion, right?
...nothing? Ah, that’s better.
“Hot and heavy?” Piped up a voice from somewhere below my chin.
Oh yeah. Twilight. Oops.
From the looks of things I wasn’t the only one who had temporarily let it slip that Twilight was still there as Celestia gave me a wide-eyed looked too before looking down.
“You feeling better?” I asked. Seemed like a good pre-empt.
“I should be asking you! I’m so sorry John! I’m so-”
“Hey, none of that. Not your fault at all, okay? And anytime you try to suggest it was I am going to prod the tip of your horn. I don’t know if that does anything but I like to think it will, so watch it, right?”
“But it was-”
“None of that,” I said, prodding the tip of her horn. Not as sharp as I might have expected it to be and - for some reason - she sneezed almost the instant I did so. That’s amazing! Does that happen every time? I want to try and see if it was a fluke but I also don’t want to push my luck.
Twilight gives me a sour look but doesn’t say anything else. Success! Back to normal!
Ah, lovely girl, Twilight. I am fond of her.
“We should probably stand up. I do believe a crowd is forming,” Celestia said, looking about. From where I was - on my back and largely wrapped in wings - I couldn’t see this, but I took her word for it.
Awkwardly untangling ourselves we stood, me getting help from the both of them. There was indeed a crowd, being kept at a respectful distance by guards - handy! Everyone was so shiny, too.
Also nearby was another alicorn who made me jump because I turned and she was just there. Kind of pink? Crown? Take a wild guess?
“Ah! Hello. You’d be...Cadence, wasn’t it?” I asked, on the off-chance I’d misremembered her name.
“Yes. You’re John?” She asked as I took her hoof in some kind of weird two-handed shake. I really have no idea how to greet ponies. The bump? One-handed shake? Hug? Nothing seems to fit best!
“I am indeed, keen eye on you. I must say, Cadence, the Northern style of welcome is certainly memorable - I’ve got an anecdote out of this trip, let me tell you!”
She looked horrified.
“He is joking,” Celestia said, leaning in to my rescue. Cadence looked slightly less horrified.
“Oh. Oh right, heh. Sorry,” she said, sheepishly. Was she apologising for not getting the joke or for the whole situation in general? Or both? Or neither? I was unsure so, hell, why not double-down? I just got liberated, damnit!
“Nothing to apologise for! I can’t imagine you roll out the evil queen for every guest,” I said.
Cadence stared at me briefly, then to Celestia for clarity.
“He is still joking. Though he should probably stop,” Celestia said, stepping around to stand next to me. Very close next to me.
“Should probably have stopped a few sentences ago,” I said. Celestia nodded.
“Probably, yes,” she said.
“Should probably stop now,” I said.
Celestia gave me a bump with her hip which set me wobbling but which wasn’t enough to topple me. I got the message. Hard not to grin though. Tee hee. Her tail then wrapped around my leg which, as always, felt a little bit weird given the nature of her tail. Nice though. Comforting, you know?
“You mentioned something about tea?” I asked.
“Yes. We could go to the palace or anywhere you might like. It’s up to you,” Celestia said. She seemed to be taking the lead on this, with Cadence and Twilight just watching on.
“Well I’d pick a place but I haven’t really had a chance to get to know the layout here yet. Don’t know where’s good.”
“John…” Celestia said, mild warning tone.
I was getting the impression that my flippancy about what had happened was not universally appreciated. Celestia was probably the one liable to be most patient with it, and so if she was starting to move toward the mild warning tone that was probably a good sign to stop.
Should probably take that on board! Not everyone can shrug things off as easily as you! Even if they’re things about you.
Concern for the feelings of others. Tsch. What an onerous burden!
“Uh, palace, why not? I’ve been known to be in a palace from time to time. And it’ll be private, eh?”
“Excellent choice,” Celestia said. “Would you like to walk there?”
“Limp there, rather. You know me. And that depends. Is it miles and miles away? If so then yes.”
“It’s not far,” Cadence chipped in, probably just so the poor girl didn’t feel quite so much like a bystander. I gave her a thumbs up, which probably just confused her. I think I heard Twilight whispering an explanation afterwards.
“I suppose that’ll have to do, then,” I said with a long-suffering sigh.
Jokes! All the time jokes! The jokes never stop! The tone never darkens! If the jokes stop and I treat things with even an ounce of seriousness then bad things’ll probably happen I bet. And that would be, well, bad. Can’t have that.
And so off we went. The crowd had - miraculously, such good manners- mostly dispersed by this point and the streets seemed clear-ish, though the guards maintained a cordon. Ugh. I hate being the centre of fuss.
Though I suppose I was at that moment also surrounded by the very CREAM of Equestrian royalty. Barring Luna. So guards were probably more for them than for me and were, probably, a good idea in general terms.
Rounding a couple corners and we were soon on a nice, big, wide road walking up towards a nice, big palace. Very glitzy. I let out a whistle.
“I do get to see the best places,” I said.
A sniffle from closer to ground level caught my attention and I saw Twilight shuffling along beside me, still looking incredibly downtrodden.
“Twilight…” I said and her ear flicked and she looked up. “Are you still coming up with meticulous arguments about how this is all somehow your fault?”
“...no,” she lied. I sighed.
I couldn’t in good conscience poke her horn again. She meant well, and some people are just worriers. It’s how they’re put together! Can’t hold that against them.
“Ah, come along, you. Come here,” I said, stooping quickly to sweep her up. She squeaked in alarm but didn’t even wriggle overmuch as I settled her in my arms and kept on walking, Celestia’s tail resolutely wrapped about my leg and the palace getting closer with every step.
Now this was more like it! Could practically smell the tea already!
I'm can't help but feel I'm going to miss Umbra.
You really wrote a fascinating character.
This is perhaps my favorite portrayal of a villain that can read minds.
The multitude of other attempts in film and fiction I've seen feel suddenly flat and uninteresting after only this brief captivity with Umbra.
I enjoyed seeing how her near-Übermensch mindset, unhindered by such burdens as morality and consideration of others, began to make room for her sudden and unprecedented yearning for sincere companionship.
Perhaps Friendship is Magic, even to evil queens.
9706520
I'm more rather done with John in general, to be honest. It's one thing to have a character with various issues; that makes them interesting. It's another to not really have them develop, and not want to develop. It's been pretty much the same thing for, well, ages. He's an amnesic mess- and that's...basically it. John just is 'there', adorable moments with Celestia among disjointed experiences. I've stuck it out hoping for some character development, but so far that's been minimal (I mean, John got a name at least...?)
We've had the same all-over-the-place character for pretty much the entire story, and while I can understand that charm that holds for some...it has waned a while ago for me, especially the spastic style of his thoughts/experiences that is just tiring to read.
Heaven forbid the jokes ever stop. If you have to take something seriously it can probably hurt you. So long as the jokes keep up, you're clearly invulnerable.
Now that he knows what will happen no horn is safe.
9709766
With respect, considering the story description, "Local deity and extra-dimensional interloper faff around, for good or ill.", I'm not sure what you were expecting from this.
9709897
Expecting? A cohesive character that develops and grows; not much else other than that. Umbra, in her short existence, has demonstrated more depth and growth (in her own way,) than John has overall.
9709655
It delights me we got to see her fleshed out so―from viewing John as a trinket to wishing to befriend him.
The interests of readers can be fickle, so while she may not have warmed to everyone in the time she's been present, oftentimes, and paradoxically, it is for the best to pursue what is best for the story and not the whims of the readers.
This means we have the pleasure of being introduced to several characters with a plethora of motivations and interests. The first rule of creating a character should be to focus on making them interesting before attempting to make them likable. And Umbra, while not a bastion of morality, is quite an interesting puzzle: she clearly is more than just "an evil queen."
And next chapter we find out that this is still inside Umbra's illusion.
9709766
I don't know if I'd go that far, but I can definitely understand that perspective. I don't think the story has completely mined out John's character, but it's starting to reach diminishing returns. I was initially hoping this arc would shake things up a bit, but up until I gave up it was just more faff.
I'm currently resolved to wait 10+ chapters, and then come back to see if it's going anywhere.
9709952
Less a character, more a cul de sac.
Though, were he to develop, I'd imagine it would likely appear after a significant event and would likely not be immediately apparent even to himself.
But I would say that.
9710028
Dear Celestia F NO.
9710224
A good way of putting it.
9710229
I think that's a very good way to describe it. (A cul-de-sac) It's enjoyable for some, but not others. Not sure WHAT significant event could occur that could be greater than a kidnapping! (...ok there are a few.)
9710028
After watching that new Spiderman movie this gains new levels of eeriness. Master illusionists are gorram scary.
D'aww, poor Twily. She's taking this (visibly) worse than Celestia is. Also the sneezing hornboop was cute.
And poor Cadance, however will she survive John's unique sense of humor :P
I'm going to echo these other guys and say that Umbra was a great character, written in a very interesting way.
I would like to know more, etc etc.
John being a 'cul-de-sac' is not nescessarily a bad thing. I live on a cul-de-sac. It's quiet, nothing ever happens, and it's comfy. I like comfy.
He might not be deep or dynamic, but John is an excellent foil for every other character to bounce off of.
He's an enabler. An enabler of fluff.
I think a proper study of this effect is required. I'm sure Twilight would understand.
Also, this chapter could easily have been a Thin Lizzy song.
9710643
Went with a Joe Fagin song instead, hah.
The mounting impression I am getting is that this story - or rather, John specifically - is something of a Marmite-type situation. It is a thing, and if you're not down for that thing then you probably won't be having a good time.
Which is fine. This is just something I make up largely as I go along as a means of keeping my anxiety in check, hah. And because I have a soft-spot for Celestia. And nicely-voiced monarchs in general, apparently.
That said, the whole point of having the Umbra thing happen was to have something to knock John off-kilter. How that'll shake out remains to be seen, given my abilities. We shall that.
Also: the reaction to Umbra has been similarly divisive, but surprisingly positive on the whole. Hurrah.
9710444
Heck, they do this in the show; Changeling cocoons. But aye, it's terrifying to think about; reality to anyone is just a series of electrical signals in the brain, and they can be duplicated and supplanted.
9710859
Perception is reality and all that.
I gotta go see spiderman...
9710236
9710229
I wouldn't write John off as a "cul-de-sac" just yet. William Faulkner once said "The problems of the human heart in conflict with itself... is the only thing worth writing about."
The seeds have been sown: John is disquieted by the idea that should he recover the memories of his past, the person he currently is will be extinguished; additionally, Umbra has planted the thought into his head that Celestia hasn't been as honest with him about his condition as he took for granted.
His usual laissez-faire inclination of ignoring the negative could very well do him more harm than good in the long run, as it will allow these thoughts to fester and brew beneath the surface. As Luna once said, "Such passivity could be exploited."
Why does the concept of unearthing his past disconcert him so? Is there anything which would cause him to see Celestia as anything short of wonderful? These are good questions for potential conflict that would allow John to develop as a character.
All we must do is wait for these seeds to be reaped. The author may write insulin-quelling fluff much of the time, but when he wants to, his writing can pack a punch. And by the time you reawaken, the stars will have expired.
9709952
Interesting? Yes, very. Sympathetic? No. John is the opposite.
9711420
Where does it say recovering his past woukd "destroy" the person he is? If anything it should reaffirm his own identity. If you're missing chapters in a book then putting them back in order woukd be an improvement.
9711625
1. Bedbound and Beyond: "Down"
2. Johns: "Lunge to the Maximum"
3. Johns: "I didn't know I couldn't hear the answer"
4. Johns: "Everything is going to be okay"
9711420
I'm never living down Last One Out...
9711886
Neither did Jack.
9711915
He's still alive!
I'm working on a followup! I swear!
It's going to be phenomenally dumb!
9711916
That's the problem.
9711930
Just because he's stuck alone on a frozen and lifeless planet orbited by a dead sun for however many years, I don't see-
Oh right.
9711916
If you do write a follow-up, could you maybe sortof write off Last One Out as a fever-dream/glimpse through the mirror kind of thing? The story with Jack was great, and then it just kinda fizzled, lost the comedic edge.
9712023
How dare you suggest I compromise my unnecessarily depressing artistic vision.
I could always write a followup which just ignores it. Or however many I want that ignore it. I could have Jack and Twilight fucking on top of a chunk of rock launched out of a volcano.
My God! I can do whatever I want! I forget that sometimes.
Genuinely. I'm not kidding. Writing shit is awesome I feel fantastic.
9712031
You certainly could. Although if you wrote Jack and Twilight fucking on top of a chunk of rock launched out of a volcano, it would make your previous protests about not being the kind of person to write horsesex somewhat disingenuous. But you do you. It's fine. It's all fine! Lovely horsewords.
9712038
I'd imply the volcano fucking.
9712044
Let's just say that the planet's tectonic plates weren't the only things grinding against each other, eh?
9711816
While I thank you for pointing it, that train of thought is dumb as shit. People change all the time. That he would change at all is a given. Fearing it qould literally destroy your mind is stupid. If he still remembers his time in equestria he isn't "dead". That would be like if celestia lost her memory and refusing to attempt to restore her memory because it might "hurt" the person that results from her experiences. Wouldn't it be more ethical to bring back thoughts and experiences lost if at all possible? If they could and chose not to it would be deliberately leaving the whole resulting person John would be in a damaged and harmed state.
All things said it feels like an argument that regaining things you forgot is somehow murder, which is insane. The real point of it seems to be keeping him right where he is, as Celestia's pet, because she fears giving him an input and frame of reference before Celestia and Equestria would lead him to have his own life and goals outside of her.
9712905
A person's thought process needn't be completely logical in order to be compelling.
Every time John thought too much on his life, it brought him pain, so he stopped worrying about it since, in his mind, relearning his past would only make him bitter and discontent about a life it is impossible to return to anyway: the heartache and hassle of grieving for friends and kin he will never see again isn't worth it to him considering he's settled into a new life.
Additionally, as John has philosophized on numerous occasions, he believes "John" would die the moment he is encumbered with those memories, because the person he is at present knows only Equestria and the friends he's made there, while "not-John" would carry the burden of his life before and after arriving in Equestria.
"Not-John" could very well be a completely different person than John due to his experiences. John has himself said as much, and I've gone to the trouble of giving you four examples of his internal conflict concerning this matter; thus, John doesn't want to take that chance given he could potentially corrode his new life and his relationships with Celestia, Twilight and the others, being quite content with the blank slate he's been given after his arrival.
That's a good question, but John has demonstrated no desire to unseal his past. On the contrary, he's vehemently opposed to it. In this context, it's not so much about whether or not they "could" help him so much as whether or not he wants their help. If you truly want to argue ethics and freedom of choice and thought, the unethical action would be to force someone who doesn't want to remember their past to do so simply because you think you know better than they what's best for them.
You accuse Celestia of being guilty of shackling him and bending him to her will, but that's what you wish to do by calling his motivations "dumb as shit" and wishing to impose your will over his. You yourself said you thought Umbra was unsympathetic for not listening to his wishes, yet your argument rings remarkably similar to the characters you vilify.
It's obdurate to believe Celestia has been actively malevolent in her treatment of John: she has healed him, she has housed him, she has introduced him to new friends (albeit with a push from Luna), and she has granted him the autonomy to go wherever and do whatever should he please. Officially, he is a guest of the Crown, and should he wish to avail himself of the Crown's hospitality, he is welcome to do so. He stays near Celestia because he enjoys her company, not because she is scheming to make him her puppet.
John doesn't view himself as "damaged and harmed;" he views himself as fortunate to be alive and surrounded by kind people who support and genuinely care for him. He does have his own life outside of Celestia: he makes toys for children and works with Rarity; he studies with Twilight so he can learn how to read and write in the Equestrian language; and he visits Celestia whenever he fancies it. No one is forcing him into anything!
I apologize, Vaalentine, but with you missing the explicit and abundant plot-relevant information showing John's thoughts and his situation, Celestia's sentiments and lamentations, and the no strings attached relationship between them―all of this culminating in the fact that you weren't aware of the central characteristic of John's reservations about relearning his past!―it becomes glaringly evident that you are not actually following the story, and haven't even read the story before this one. To this end, you are vocal, but your conclusions are facile.
9712905 By the bizarre logic of that poster, it's immoral of us to ever treat anyone with amnesia.
That sort of irrationality, that total lack of insight and common sense... it can only mean one thing!
I believe we have a PHILOSOPHY PROFESSOR posting here!
9713202 Far be it for me to dissuade you of the hilarious irrationality of debating the motivations of a nonexistent character dancing to the whims of a God Author controlling his every thought.
From a purely narrative perspective, it is quite silly.
Twilight should just go ahead and ask if Celestia will share.
Anyway, I'm enjoying this still and actually I like how Umbra was developed. On another note, I absolutely adore your characterization of Twilight. Couldn't be more spot-on if you tried. I especially like how much she genuinely cares about John, since while I know Celestia does as well, some of that seems to just be relief that she has someone to talk to on an equal level.