Errant Finale

by Doug Graves

49 Imperial Legacy

February 30th, 1001 Domina Solaria

Doug’s boots pound against the cobblestones of one of Canterlot’s side streets. Houses, storefronts, the ponies starting their days - all pass as a blur. He automatically dodges street vendors hawking their donuts and random ponies who stop to gawk at him, his mind lost in thought.

Most of the time he’s just randomly exploring on his daily run. Or going through the events of the last day, a form of meditation to work through whatever issues happened. Perhaps planning out some tricky problem Trixie or Rarity had, or a flashy move Rainbow Dash wanted feedback on (besides that she’s awesome, of course). Last night certainly gave him a lot to think about.

Today, though, he has to spend quite a bit more of his divided attention dodging ponies. Far more than usual, especially since he’s been doing these runs each day, and the city normally plays host to a good number of other species. It’s as if they somehow know what happened between him and Celestia, Luna, and Twilight. It’s not like it’s a secret, gossip started well before Celestia’s confirmation at the Grand Galloping Gala, but even so.

It isn’t until he dodges yet another mare standing in his way, her tail swishing as she stares lustily at his covered crotch, that he sees something odd out of the corner of his eye. Slowing down, and ignoring the mare, he walks up to the newspaper stand and the picture splashed across the entirety of the front page, an equally bold headline:

Three Princesses Conceive

The picture shows him sitting on Luna’s bed, cuddling with the three Princesses. Naked, he wryly notices, his leg conveniently blocking the view. Each Princess is equally unadorned, and has a small zoomed in section showing the magical core (in Twilight’s case, cores) developing in each of their wombs. It’s the same type of display Twilight projected so that he could see the ‘magic’ happen, and the colors of the cores are even exactly correct, but he can’t remember them being in this position. Or how they possibly got a picture of this when it happened before (or at) dawn.

He self-consciously rubs the light jacket and shorts he is wearing against the chill air, unfolding to the tiny blurb at the bottom of the picture. He shakes his head at the ‘artistic depiction’ label at the bottom instead of a photographer, the credit unattributed. The opening line even begins with a quote from Princess Luna, ‘Truly, something never before seen in Equestria’.

“Hey, bud, this ain’t a library, s’either-”

The stallion running the stand locks in place as Doug lowers the paper, surprise equally plastered on both their faces.

“Y-you’re Doug. The Doug!” The stallion stands up, practically shouting, drawing the attention of everypony who wasn’t already gawking at the human. “Ah can’t believe it! You’s the one in the papers! And you’s buying a newspaper at my stand! Hey, Everypony!” The stallion points a muscular foreleg at Doug, smiling broadly. “Look who’s buying a newspaper at Hot Press’ stand!”

Doug grimaces as a veritable horde of ponies surrounds him; even above, as pegasi take to the air, and foals hop on top of mares to get a better look. They shout questions at him, barely intelligible over the din of everypony else, pressing in from every side. Innocuous things, like congratulations or compliments, some slightly more inappropriate questions (especially considering the nearby foals) about what it was like, and then the mares throwing themselves at him like he is some sort of rock star.

Doug’s hands, held in front of him to try to ward away the more eager mares, instead get turned into nuzzling stations for what is a remarkably orderly line of ponies. They each get a nuzzle, or a sniff, or if they are particularly lucky an ear scratch by a wayward finger. Until a few decide they aren’t content with just his hands, and start rubbing barrels against his hips, a few tails snaking against his knees.

Jostled to and fro by overeager mares (and occasional stallion), he tries to keep a cheery facade as he pulls a bit out of a pocket. He flips it to the newsie as he backs off, the spin making it hit the table and stay put. Hot Press just looks at it, then at the ponies mobbing the human. “Hey!” he calls, waving from above the crowd. “Don’t ya want your change?”

“Keep it,” Doug yells as he backpedals, the crowd somehow parting behind him. He pauses at their, to a mare, disappointed face, taking a deep breath and steeling himself.

“Yes,” he announces loudly, “last night Princesses Twilight Sparkle, Luna, and Celestia all, um, got pregnant. I am the sire.” He shakes his head as a few more eager mares step forward. “No, I’m not taking requests, or applications to the herd. Sorry. You’ll have to make a formal request to Applejack.” He quickly appends as a few of those mares look like they are about to dash off, “In writing. Don’t bother her in person, at least for another two days.”

“Aww,” come the disappointed sighs, Doug unable to keep from smiling.

“Now, if you’ll excuse me,” Doug holds up the newspaper, “my head is still a little fuzzy about the details, so I’m going to go read all about what happened. Um, have a good morning.” He waves, then takes off. He tries to read as he jogs, but quickly gives up after he nearly runs down a few ponies, quickly getting to Luna’s tower.

He doesn’t even need to knock on the door for it to open, entering to find the cobalt alicorn already in bed. She turns her head to smile fondly at him. “Come to tuck me into bed?” she asks, wriggling her rump just a little as she settles down.

“Whatever my Princess requires,” Doug says, setting the newspaper down next to the bed. One hand rubs against her back, the other meeting her chin as they share a quick kiss. “You look positively glowing.” And she does, more so than her normal aura about her tail and mane. “How was the night?”

“Busy, after you went to sleep.” Luna motions to the newspaper, “Did you like it? We are glad we got the colors correct, after extrapolating from how Twilight’s and our own auras compared to the foals. We thought it a fitting announcement, and Celestia will surely be saying something at the Day Court today.”

“Haven’t read it, but I certainly wasn’t expecting word to get out that fast.” His hand makes its way around to her belly and pushing just in front of her flank. “How is she?”

“Healthy.” Luna smiles, though it quickly turns to a long yawn. “Excuse us, carrying your foal is exhausting work.”

“Well, don’t let me keep you from your beauty sleep. Good night, Luna.”

Luna offers a mournful sigh and quiver of her muzzle, but it quickly turns into a chuckle as she can’t keep a straight face. “Good night, Doug. We shall see thee before dusk.”

Doug scratches Luna’s ears, then tussles her mane as he gets up, grabbing the paper and waving as he leaves. He walks to Celestia’s room a little slower, reading through the article. Much of what he expected, explaining how the two alicorns have been hoping for an occasion like this for years, and how happy they are that it has finally arrived. It even included how they joined Herd Apple, though in such a way that it discouraged other ponies from doing the same just because the Princesses did it.

Fat load of good that did him. Doug shakes his head; the ponies certainly latch onto anything related to a Princess and put a high premium on it. Including, apparently, him. Could he see himself as a whorse, or a stud? Not really. Regardless, so much for his nice, quiet life. Though if that’s the kind of problems he has to complain about, he really can’t. Well, until a year from now, and he gets somewhere between five and seven foals to watch after, the mares helping when they can. Maybe they could hire somepony. Or six.

Doug finds Celestia in her office, hard at work at her desk and surrounded by stacks of paper. He notes that she not only has a copy of the Canterlot Chronicle, but also the Manehatten Morning, Baltimare Sun, and a myriad of others, each with the same cover story. Luna really was busy.

“Morning,” Doug says. “You look particularly radiant.”

Celestia beams at him, her body glowing very similarly to Luna. Celestia teleports out of her paper cage; it still startles Doug, but less than the first time. She bends down slightly to kiss him before casting a weary eye to her paperwork.

“Long day ahead?” Doug asks, finding a spot, similar but slightly different from Luna’s, between her ears. Celestia seems to melt into his arms, though he’s sure she’s exaggerating for effect.

“Perhaps I should come on more runs with you.” Celestia swipes with her tail, sending the nearest pile of papers scattering to the floor.

A knock comes at the door, Celestia opening it and a pink alicorn walking in.

Celestia continues, paying little attention to Chrysalis, “Or, I may need to find qualified ponies to delegate to. I don’t suppose you have any in mind?”

Doug’s hand reaches, patting Celestia’s belly. “And here I thought you were working on that.” His other hand scratches his chin, Celestia pouting as it leaves her head. “Or you were grooming Twilight for that.”

Celestia smiles, offering a slight shrug. Then she frowns as she turns her head, acknowledging Chrysalis. Her voice neutral, her gaze steady, she asks, “Can I help you?”

“I have come to discuss terms,” Chrysalis says, pulling out a few sheets of paper from under her wing, “for when I win this little wager of ours.”

“When?” Celestia asks, raising an eyebrow.

Chrysalis rolls a pink eye. “As if there is any doubt.” Her gaze turns to Doug. “Or have you decided the outcome already?”

Doug shakes his head, “No, it’s a possibility.” An extremely remote possibility, as it would require Chrysalis singlehoofedly (or at least without her invasion force assisting) detaining the rest of the Elements of Harmony, Princess Luna, Shining Armor, and choice members of the royal guard. Though it would make the subsequent capture of Canterlot considerably easier if she could. But what are the odds of that happening?

Chrysalis smiles, it looking particularly sinister on Cadance’s face. “Then.” She turns back to Celestia. “My terms. When I win, you will all bow to me as your Queen, though I will allow you your current positions.”

The only outward hint of Celestia’s anger is the slight huff of breath. “If you win, you will have an equal say, as any other Princess, in areas of your domain. Which would be?”

Chrysalis glares, but says nothing for a few seconds. “We shall come back to that one. My domain shall be domestic, and overseeing the largest expansion of Equestrian infrastructure the kingdom has ever seen.” She continues as Celestia considers. “Along with it, the addition of one changeling for every three ponies in a herd.”

“We will not be enforcing expansion, should ponies not wish to.” Chrysalis’ eyes narrow. “Until we know the effects of long term love… extraction, one changeling for every seven ponies.”

“Five.”

“Six. And only those with a cutie mark shall be counted.”

Chrysalis turns to consider Doug for a few long seconds. “Unherded mares and stallions will need some system, perhaps as ancillary members of a herd, as they must be counted as well.”

“Certainly.” Chrysalis stands up a little straight at Celestia’s concession. “But perhaps we should focus on what will happen should you lose on both counts of our little wager.”

Chrysalis snorts, rolling her eyes. “Fine. As you said before, we leave. Peacefully, of course, though you will not warn which land we choose. Any mares with foal will bear a foal, then leave.”

“And any who wish to stay, may.” Celestia’s harsh gaze softens, smiling at Chrysalis. “I have heard that some of your brood wish to learn more of Friendship.”

“Preposterous. Or a ploy.” Chrysalis derisively shakes her head. “They would never consider it. Now, back to my demands.”

Celestia sighs, leaning back. “Perhaps. I have an announcement coming up, so better make it quick.”

Comments

[badninja]

Stop tempting fate there Doug it just might happen.

[DarkPhoenixx]

Wait...so Luna and Celestia are now part of Herd Apple? Since when?

[Doug Graves]

10254679
They join that night. I should have included more on the alicorns joining the herd during Errant Finale. It will get expounded upon/explored in Growing Harmony.

[f0st3r21]

Doug implied that Applejack is still Lead Mare. I am glad for her. That’s such an incredible honor. Way to go, farmpony!

Now that Twilight has her post-heat-clarity, she needs to solve the Invasion problem.

[Poparakelis]

This is Doug from now on, why? Because I said so, and the Author didn't send an image so you can't prove me wrong without giving me another.

temp-ca.s3.amazonaws.com/cdn-files/1972580815168894666720230709235107sst.jpg

Weak he might be, A doormant too, but at least he's pretty, contrary to you all, and me.