Errant Finale

by Doug Graves

63 The Life Thief

“Yes,” Celestia reads aloud, “I am completely serious. You should be getting a confirmation letter from your guard any minute now. I’m currently carrying Lord Tirek who, as far as I can tell, is both powerless and unconscious. No change there. Still awaiting orders.”

Celestia sets the letter down next to another piece of parchment, staring blankly. “It cannot be. There must be some deception.”

Another letter coalesces from a cloud of smoke. A golden aura snatches it from midair, rapidly unfurling it. Celestia scans it in a blink of an eye, her eyebrows furrowing.

“Discord?” Celestia demands, her orange tinted eyes finding the draconequus. He returns a cheeky grin. “What did you do?”

“Me?” Discord says, incredulous and pointing a claw at himself. “I did nothing to help, just like you asked.” He yawns, covering his mouth with a paw. “Now, since this ‘crisis’ is all well in ‘hand’ I don’t suppose I can get some sleep?” He morphs into a set of garish neon pink and yellow pajamas, clutching a one and a half dozen pony plushies.

“And you will continue to do nothing?” Celestia emphasizes each word harshly as she spots her own doll among the plushies. “Nothing at all?”

“You’re such a worrier, you know that? They should call you the Road Worrier.” Discord rolls his eyes at Celestia’s unchanged glare. “Fine, fine, I’ll play along. Aside from traveling around. You wouldn’t make me walk everywhere, would you?”

Celestia takes in a deep breath, never blinking. Discord lifts a single paw, waves, then disappears, taking the plushies with him. Celestia’s hoof goes to her horn, wincing, then lets out a long sigh. “I need theories, explanations, anything. What could have caused this?”

Twilight Sparkle offers, “Some interaction between Tirek’s magic draining and Doug’s, um, human characteristics?”

Celestia conjures a large chalkboard, writing it down.

“Discord?” Cadance offers. “He snapped his claws. According to Doug, it was around the same time.”

“...It is a possibility,” Celestia concedes as a second line joins the first. “Others?”

Twilight says in rapid succession, “A third, unknown party? Changeling magic? Some piece of Chrysalis’ antimagic throne? Tirek hit his limit and ‘shattered’ his own core? He attempted to drain Poison Joke, and this is the result? Doug used Poison Joke, but didn’t mention it?”

“Why wouldn’t he mention it?” Rainbow Dash asks, more curious than venomous.

“He has had memory loss from magical interactions before,” Celestia confirms as she writes everything down, “So it is not outside the realm of possibilities.”

A full minute passes in silence as the ponies attempt to brainstorm any other reasons. Celestia finally shakes her head, pointing at the first item on the list. “I have cast Tirek’s spell on Doug before, with no ill effects. Aside from what the spell itself inflicts on the user.”

“And I noticed the same when I used it on Cadance. The ill effects, that is.” Twilight shudders.

Celestia glances to Luna for confirmation, “When Discord snapped his claws, I noticed a small twinge, no more than the jolt when he imbues an item with magic.” Luna nods, her muzzle a tight frown.

Celestia moves to the next item. “If another party, perhaps working with antimagic, was there, we have no word of it. The report from the investigators will be here shortly, but perhaps one of us should go to inspect the site as well. A single changeling was reported drained, still comatose, and I must send a letter to Chrysalis regarding treatment. Poison Joke is a possibility, and… could be tested once Tirek is… confined.” She looks over the possibilities, frowning.

“In Manehatten?” Luna asks, a touch of hesitation. “They do not have the facilities for it.”

“I was thinking here, in the Crystal Mines at the base of the Canterhorn.” Celestia glances around at the worried looks. “We can rig them to collapse, trapping him if needed. They are out of the way, and located close to the train station.”

“Ah know Ah’d feel better if he were back in Tartarus,” Applejack says, her body shuddering at the mention of the name. “But if’n you need to do some renovations…”

The other ponies nod their concurrence, and with no further objections Celestia sends a letter to Doug.

Celestia softly looks her Sister in the eye, her own full of grief. “Lune… my Sister… should the worst happen, would you be capable of raising the Sun and the Moon by yourself?”

“Thou found the strength for a thousand years.” Luna raises herself up, closing her eyes as she tests her power. “We will do the same, if we must.”

Celestia turns to Twilight Sparkle. Love and pride fills her eyes as she lowers her body, head bowing slightly. “Twilight Sparkle, dearest Twilight, my most faithful student. This is more than I would ever wish to burden you with, but you have risen to the occasion and exceeded even my greatest expectations.” Celestia takes a deep breath, steeling herself as Twilight raises a hoof, as if to object. “Should… should the worst happen to Luna and myself, could you resume our duties? Move the Sun and the Moon?”

Twilight’s voice catches in her throat as Celestia remains in her subservient position. “I…” she ekes out, gaze darting from one Friend to another. She gulps, resolutely nodding, even though she has no idea how she would do that. “I won’t fail you.”

*

In Manehatten, Tirek lays next to Doug bound, gagged, and with a hood secured over his head. Doug stands from his seated position as a letter appears in front of him. He grabs it, grimly pursing his lips as he looks at the fallen centaur. “Well, looks like we’re going for a ride.” He looks up at the circling guards, then the others streaming inside and outside the sewers. “I’m supposed to head to the train station. No magic, or ponies, within ten yards.”

“Follow me,” one of the guards says, by this point knowing better than to question the letters that keep appearing in bursts of green smoke. She leads the way from a healthy distance as Doug drops Tirek into a cart. She keeps glancing back, straying close to one piece of cover after another as she flies ahead of him.

The train station is crammed full of ponies awaiting the next train evacuating the city. Doug waits outside; a cadre of guards forms a rough circle ten yards around the human as they spread the news of the cancelled evacuation. Many grumble about the late night and constantly changing orders, watching as Doug makes his way to a short three train car. The special metal caboose at the end looks nothing like the colorful car, all metal with bars over the small windows. He goes through the heavy door as a pegasus engineer apprehensively takes the helm.

After chaining Tirek to the floor Doug gets a heavy crossbow and other supplies from the ponies outside. An understandably skittish doctor is on the scene, passing Doug instruments and quick explanations on how to use them.

She frowns at the results, explaining as she writes down, “He’s alive, I suppose I should be happy to report, if barely. His condition doesn’t seem to be deteriorating, but you should take this-” she taps one instrument “-and do checks about every hour. If he was a pony, he should be slowly regaining his strength. I doubt he’ll be in any condition to try anything by the time you get to Canterlot, or wherever you are going, but that’s your call, not mine.”

Doug nods, and they leave with little fanfare, initially at a slow pace as guards clear the way ahead. Their escort falls back as they exit Manehatten, except for the four pegasi trailing behind, two almost directly above and two far behind and low to the ground. Wonderbolts all, Doug notes wryly.

Tirek doesn’t stir, even as Doug asks him questions and runs the scanner over him. He notes the slowly declining number, and how Tirek’s already haggard breath grows shallower and shallower. He relays the numbers to the pegasi, one of them speeding ahead. The ride passes tediously, Doug running over everything that happened and recording every detail he can think of.

The Lower Canterlot station is nearly deserted except for a white coated unicorn Doug recognizes as Doctor Horse, two guards, and Celestia herself. Doug stops as he spots the alicorn, then resumes carrying Tirek outside as one guard approaches. “I thought you wanted nopony anywhere near us.”

“I’m here to test that,” one of the guards says. She slowly walks forward, everypony holding their breath as she closes within ten yards. Each step reverberates around the cavernous chamber until she is within a leg’s reach of the still comatose centaur. She lifts a shaking foreleg, gritting her teeth and tapping the loose bag around Tirek’s head.

Tirek wobbles like a corpse, or perhaps a pony in a deep sleep.

The guard taps again, then kicks him hard enough to roll him onto his back, the hood falling off and vacant eyes staring upwards. “Wake up, you whorse!” she shouts, raising her hoof to strike him again.

“That’s enough,” Celestia bellows.

The guard pauses mid swing. “But my comrades-”

Celestia shakes her head, “-Will be in the same condition regardless of how blue and black…er you beat him.”

The guard glares, but swallows her next statement. Her neutral voice rings out, “Seems safe enough to me, but who knows what will happen when he wakes.”

“If he wakes,” Doctor Horse spits out, brushing past the guard with more than a little roughness. He levitates the list of notes Doug had taken as well as his own instruments, his frown deepening at the results. “Still low, at least compared to a baseline pony of his size. Would have been nice to know what he was like beforehoof. His condition is certainly worsening.” His eyes flick to Celestia. “Just like the others. And he didn’t start in a good spot, from the looks of it.”

“Others?” Doug asks as Celestia approaches him, her eyes glowing bright white and inspecting him.

“The ponies Tirek drained are not recovering. In fact, their conditions are deteriorating, though it comes in fits and spurts. Twilight and Luna have gone to Manehatten to assist. Cadance awaits at Tirek’s cell.” Celestia’s eyes return to normal, sighing.

“You think he’s still affecting them?” Doug says as Doctor Horse strides towards them.

“I have detected no trace of the stolen magic, though there is a faint echo of something else I cannot put my hoof on. I would have expected it to start returning to them almost immediately.” Celestia’s golden glow surrounds Doug, frowning again.

“Speaking of no magic, I recommend an immediate magic booster for our newfound ‘friend’,” Doctor Horse says as he returns to Celestia, pointing a hoof at Tirek.

“You cannot be serious,” the same guard interrupts. “So, what, he can start his rampage all over again?”

“Enough, Haw Berk.” Celestia turns to Doctor Horse. “You are sure of this?”

Doctor Horse shrugs, having ignored the guard. “Well, you could do nothing, and he may never wake up. I wish I could say it makes no difference to me, but I have sworn to do no harm. And we have the ability to save him.” He pulls a canister out of the bags on his sides. “I would start on a quarter dose, and increase as needed.”

“Do it. Once he is secured.” Celestia turns to Doug as the two guards retrieve the cart from the train and load Tirek inside. “How are you feeling?”

Doug almost frowns as he assesses himself. “Pretty good, actually. Not as tired as I might have expected from staying up just about all night. The adrenaline’s gonna run out any minute now, and I’ll crash as soon as my head hits a pillow. But, I expect you want me to debrief somewhere.”

Celestia nods, debating with herself for a few moments before leaning over and nuzzling Doug. “I am glad you are safe,” she whispers as she kisses him. “I hate putting you, or any of my subjects, in danger. Even if I know it is for the best, both theirs and ours.”

“Exciting times, right?” Doug says, shaking his head with a relieved smile. He waves as Celestia follows the cart, one guard, and Doctor Horse to Tirek’s prison cell. The other guard leads him to a small office, going over Doug’s notes from the train and any ideas he has.

Comments

[Hiroblade]

I think Haw Berk had a lover with stolen magic from Trek

[badninja]

Well this could be a problem for them. Chrysalis did have an issue when she tried to transform into Doug way back when. I hope this is a similar case.

[chibilink]

“Lune… my Sister… should the worst happen, would you be capable of raising the Sun and the Moon by yourself?”

Did somehow Doug get all the magic or something?

[AuthorGenesis]

10132771
I would suspect that Discord cast some kind of magic where an absolute exchange would take place when Tirek attempted to acquire Doug's magic. Thus, Doug, who has no magic, would exchange his lack of magic for Tirek's current magical reservoir. And Tirek's body is fighting for survival to keep from hitting Doug's absolute zero magical reservoir, because that would be a death sentence for any magical dependent lifeform. So for Tirek, Doug's absolute zero magical reservoir is like an infectious disease, causing Tirek's body to focus on isolating and eliminating the infectious disease by which Tirek's body finds itself under attack by.

[f0st3r21]

10302937
He tried to divide by zero. One must never do that.

[Poparakelis]

The fuck happened?!