Errant Finale

by Doug Graves

5 Abandoned Wealth

Silence reigns over the crowded entry hall for several long seconds. The Elements of Harmony, wary of any form of attack, have created a defensive perimeter around Princess Celestia and Princess Luna. Shining Armor is in the middle with Princess Cadance at his side. Six sets of eyes glow white as they scan for every possible form of magic imaginable. Four other sets scan the physical world, looking for any movement out of place, flicking to the ponies awkwardly milling about before returning to every possible angle of attack.

The silence is broken from inside by the sounds of a cello, perfectly tuned, then a grand piano playing a few scales. A few coughs come from the ponies who seconds before had been congratulating the Elements of Harmony on their apparent defeat of Discord.

They are soon joined by Applejack. “You know…” she says, looking at her Friends, “Ah’m startin’ to feel a mite ridiculous.”

“Worry not, Honesty,” Princess Luna calmly states. “It could be a trick of Discord, or-”

Six sets of white eyes, followed quickly by four sets that aren’t glowing, turn to the main gates and the gradually increasing jingle of armor and odd cadence of two boots running alongside a single pony.

Trixie and Doug, winded but alert, arrive. Doug is clad in his Nightmare Night outfit, sweaty and disheveled. Trixie, however, has an addition to her dress - an amulet of a gray alicorn, ruby red eyes and accents on the wings, with a large ruby inset in the center. The golden clad guard briefly steps in before Celestia’s throat clearing gets him to step aside.

Doug strides forward and speaks, quickly but precisely, only loud enough for them to hear. “We met up with Spike, just as everything seemed like it went back to normal. Lemon and Meringue weren’t with him; are they?” His face goes ashen at the slow shake of Celestia’s head. “Then we have to find them! We-”

“Where he has taken them, I do not know. But he seemed fairly charmed with them.” Celestia takes a deep breath. “He claims he will return at midnight. I hope they will be with him.”

Doug glances up at the moon. “That’s three hours from now. What will we do until then?”

Celestia looks around, smiling pleasantly at the anxious ponies around them. “Well, I’ve heard there is a Gala going on. Perhaps we can pass the time there. Just stay near, in case he - or something else - returns early.”

*

Applejack steps away from the dispersing ponies, hesitantly glancing over her shoulder. Her herdmates are all walking away, each to their own destination. She grimaces to herself as she plods back to her cart. Truth be told, she was almost thankful when Twilight rushed over to her and said that something truly wrong was going on. She had only made one lousy sale the whole time she was standing there!

Granted, it had only been about fifteen minutes, but more’n double that number had walked past her cart, every one of’m turning up their noses. What, is something wrong with her family’s apples? Or is Canterlot just full of rich snobs who would never taste something as delicious, and twice as filling, as those fancy plates of garnish topped parsley? It can’t be her prices; sure, they might be a mite higher than what she charges in Ponyville, but she has to factor in the cost of transportation!

Applejack idly kicks at a rock, sending it clattering into a wall. At least in Ponyville the other townsfolk would come up to her cart, just to chat even if they weren’t buying. But this is worse than that time she and Rarity saw Hayseed Turnip Truck washing windows at some store or other; at least they said hello to each other!

“Excuse me,” elegantly states a pony from behind her. Applejack turns; unicorn, half a hoof shorter than Big Mac - reminds her of Shining Armor, actually. Wearing a black full suit, well tailored, gold buttons. Purple bowtie and monocle, cutie mark of three gold crowns. “I don’t suppose I can trouble you for a moment of your time, Lady Applejack?”

“Ah don’t suppose Ah’d mind,” Applejack replies. She peers at the white unicorn, trying to rein in a bit of her drawl. “And it’s just Applejack, no Lady about it. You’re, um, Fancy Pants, right?”

“Very astute, just Applejack!” Applejack’s muzzle curls to a smile. “I do believe we met at Prince Blueblood’s New Year’s soiree, correct? I recall your friend Rarity; now, there is a pony who can make quite the impression! I’m only sorry I wasn’t able to make your acquaintance the same way!”

“Heh, that’s Rares for ya.” Applejack looks around, apologetically saying, “Well, Ah gotta get back to my cart. Celestia knows what kinda damage Discord did to it.”

“I don’t suppose you would mind if I walked with you?” Fancy Pants matches Applejack’s stride as if there is no way she would ever consider saying no. “Perhaps you could tell me about this, err, ‘cart’ of yours.”

“What’s there to know?” Applejack shrugs as they get close. Her intricately detailed cart, covered with red swirls amidst a green and gold background, stands out among the garden. “Ah’m here showcasing many of the delicacies we make back at Sweet Apple Acres!”

“Ah, how charmingly rustic!” Fancy Pants says cheerfully as they draw close. His nose sniffs, a smile on his mouth. “It smells like… well, chocolate milk.” A delightfully embarrassed look comes over Fancy Pants’ face, scouring the surrounding area for a glass of water or something to clear his nostrils. “I’m sorry, that just came out. I’ve always spoken my mind, heedless of the consequences.”

Applejack merely chuckles. “Oh, no offense taken. Ah just hope the flavor’s intact.” Applejack pops open her cart, taking a long whiff of the apples resting inside. “Mm, much better. Here.” She tosses Fancy Pants an apple, the unicorn catching it in a golden aura and taking a bite.

“Delicious! I dare say, every pony in Canterlot will be wanting one of these!” Fancy Pants takes another bite, glancing at the prices listed on Applejack’s cart. His face slowly falls. “I’m afraid I left my petty cash in my other pants, as it were. Otherwise, I might buy out your entire cart right now!”

“Don’t worry about it!” Applejack smiles as she hoofs over another apple. “Have another, on the house!”

“Why, my dear mare, are you sure you aren’t the Element of Generosity?” Fancy Pants takes the apple, then taps a hoof against his chin as he considers. “You have an existing contract with Canterlot Castle, yes? I must admit, I do believe I have eaten these apples before. Never a disappointment!”

“Yup! Bushel a month each of Red and Gold Delicious, and half a bushel of Granny Smith. The apple, of course, not my Granny!” That draws a wry smile from the unicorn. “Shipped to the castle by train. Ah’d have to double check on the rest of our Canterlot shipments.”

“Yes, of course.” Fancy Pants eyes the apple in his hoof, the other one already gone. “I might be interested in a similar arrangement.” A gold tipped pen levitates out of one of the inside pockets of his suit, along with an elegant notepad. “How much would you say that is?”

“Oh, ‘bout a fifth ‘fer apple. Less’n if we can fill up a crate for ya.” Applejack shrugs outwardly, but inside her gears are turning. If she can get more contract sales like this, especially without Filthy Rich taking his cut as middlemare, then they would be set! In fact, she could give away her goods and they’d be rolling in bits!

“Hmm, seems a bit pricey; but then again, you could demand practically any price and ponies would flock to pay it!” Fancy Pants scribbles his signature on his notepad, writing an I.O.U. “Would you say it’s about a hundred apples a bushel?”

Applejack nearly scowls at his insinuation that her apples are ‘pricey’. She manages to keep her forced smile, a brief shake of the head. “Closer to eighty.” She gives him a sultry wink. “Like most of the things around the farm, you’ll find they’re a bit bigger’n most.”

“Even so.” Fancy Pants neatly writes an address. “Two hundred bits is a price I am more than willing to pay.” He holds the paper out in his hoof, smiling at Applejack. “Consider this a down payment for the first shipment; I’ll have a contract written up post-haste!”

Applejack’s voice catches in her throat. Two hundred bits… for a bushel?! That’s… that’s overpaying her by more’n twelve times as much! He could buy just about every item she brought, and still have enough left over for a crate! She raises a hoof to her chest, bumping into something metallic. She glances down, spotting the Element of Honesty around her neck.

Those extra bits would go a very long way to helping out around the farm, though…

Applejack’s hoof tightens around the Element of Honesty, looking Fancy Pants in the eyes.

*

Pinkie Pie heads into the main castle, following the sounds of the grand piano, harp, and other instruments. Except that the spring is gone from her step, instead relying on her hooves and walking like everypony else. Every once in a while she feels a little tingle, like she wants to begin pronking, but there might as well have been a sign up with a big red ‘x’ over a picture of her doing anything different or out of the ordinary.

Her eyes trace along the walls, trying to find something out of place. Some design that stands out, that’s different from everything else. But it’s all gold and cobalt swirls, perfect circles and geometric designs that hardly vary from one section to another. It’s all so… so…

BORING!!

No wonder her foals teamed up with Discord! In fact, she has half a mind to utter the dreaded name three times, in the vain hope that he would show up and inject a little life into this party! That’s how it works, right? Or does she just need to snap her fingers… claws… hooves together? Pinkie Pie stops walking through the hallway, a pair of ponies passing her. She inspects her hoof, pinching the ends together.

She sighs, dejected.

But, no; her Friends wouldn’t like that. They would want her to put on a good face, right? No, no; if something’s bothering her, then she should be honest with her Friends! They would be able to cheer her up, right? And tell her that she is wonderful and unique, and they love having her around! She can even hear their voices, almost, telling her as much! Besides, if she can giggle at the ghosties, then surely she can guffaw at the Grand Galloping Gala and snicker with the stuffed suits!

Pinkie Pie pronks into the main dance hall. Gorgeous stained glass windows serve as a backdrop for the four piece band currently playing soft music, more of a background piece than anything to dance to. A golden chandelier lights the hall, a few dozen ponies paired off and chatting along the walls.

Hurried whispers travel through the hall, all of the conversations stopping as everypony turns to watch Pinkie Pie enter. She grins joyously, raising a hoof to wave as everypony politely stomps their hooves. Wow! Word sure does travel fast about what they did!

The dance floor sparkles, practically begging her to put it to use! And Pinkie Pie is more than happy to oblige, busting out moves that take her from one end of the ballroom to the other. Halfway through her next move on top of a golden statue of Celestia later, though, and Pinkie Pie realizes - Nopony else is dancing with her!

Hmm, maybe they just can’t hear the music like she can! Hmm, what to play, what to play… she needs the perfect song to get everypony in the mood. A happy birthday song? No, that was two weeks ago. The Hokey Pokey? No, this isn’t that kind of party.

Suddenly, Pinkie Pie realizes exactly what song she should do! So what if it's a little rousing - it'll inject some life into this party! She rushes up to the four ponies performing, whispering suggestions to each of them. The tan earth pony at the piano gapes at her but goes along; saving everypony from Discord must have really helped! The tuba makes a decent deep bass, the cello and harp plucking a slow beat. Not quite a drum kit, but it works!

Pinkie Pie walks up to the microphone, giggling to herself. It comes out as a low “Ahahahahaha!” as she begins strutting along the stage.

“It’s close to miiidnight,” Pinkie Pie begins, clapping her hooves together ominously.

“Young Lady!” one of the ponies shouts, the music cutting off. “This isn’t that kind of party!”

“Aww,” Pinkie Pie moans as the rest of the ponies in the ballroom, some of them more blatant than the others, nod along. She hops off the stage while the music resumes its previous calming tones, the musicians giving her apologetic glances. Pinkie Pie mutters to herself, “Well, that’s no fun. What kind of party is this without dancing?”

She answers her own question as she walks up to the punch bowl. “Not a fun party, that’s for sure.” She pours herself a glass, sighing heavily. She drinks the whole glass in one go, barely noticing the nasty looks a few of the ponies shoot her for her uncouth behavior. “What kind of party is it without Laughter?”

“Well,” Pinkie Pie says to herself, walking to one of the tables as a waiter takes her empty glass, “I suppose not every party needs Laughter.” Her hoof comes up to rub her chest, getting a metallic clink instead. Her hoof grabs hold of the Element of Laughter around her neck. Parties, or Laughter? It’s a shame she can’t have both.

She gives the Element a light tug, the clasp easily coming undone, letting her stare at the blue balloon.

Comments

[badninja]

Poor Pinkie she just can’t handle a high society party. I hope she doesn’t do something rash.

[raw19]

Uh-oh. It seems like their not being true to themselves. To their elements.

This is just how Discord got them in canon!

[Jack-Pony]

10197951
I distinctly remember a bit more mind-rape in the canon ep.

[PirateLord93]

I see where this is going, nice twist from the original.

[f0st3r21]

Well done! Discord is teaching them about Harmony and being a friend even now before his reformation -though he’s being nefarious with it.

[Poparakelis]

Applejack’s hoof tightens around the Element of Honesty, looking Fancy Pants in the eyes.

Oh, I see it now