Old Mare Luna

by Leondude

Chapter 2 - Visitors

The morning afterward, or what could be considered the morning afterward, Gail walked outside of the house telekinetically holding a shotgun. He sat down on an armchair and proceeded to inspect the weapon. Luna walked in on him and was less than amused.

"Put down the gun, Gail. Not only is it dangerous for someone your age to use but it is also unnecessary. If there are problems, we can simply talk them out."

"It's alright, mother. I wasn't even intending on using it for lethal force. Just thought I'd give Tirek's goons a warning shot should they give us any trouble."

"The only way they'll give us any trouble is if they think we are going to attack first."

"For buck's sake, mother! I was only trying to help!"

"And watch your language! I will not have anypony in this house use such foul words!"

"Uh...Lulu?" Morning March said in an intimidated tone "Tirek's forces have arrived for his money."

Luna and Gail looked at three towering centaurs who had their chariots pulled by their gargoyle slaves. One was a thin-looking centaur with black hair styled into a bang over one of his eyes, as well as a spiked collar around his neck and an assortment of silver rings on his fingers. Another was morbidly obese and was wearing a cap and, while balding, had a bushy moustache on his face. The third one was a female with poorly aligned teeth and stringy ginger hair that was covered in dust.

"Miss Bittak," Luna said, addressing the female centaur.

"Luna," Bittak said, addressing her right back.

The two male centaurs that accompanied her got out of their chariots and walked towards Luna, with the big one cracking his knuckles and taking a moment to spit at the ground.

"Lord Tirek knows you don't have this month's rent, Luna," Bittak said, her crooked teeth giving her a lisp "Which is why he sent reinforcements today. You've met Otak and Charek before, haven't you?"

"Once or twice during my travels."

"Well, since they heard you used to be the princess of the night protecting the ponies of Equestria from nightmares, they thought this might become a real nightmare for them. I tried to explain you've given up fighting for others as well as yourself but they really wanted to see what you can do."

"So, what's it going to be, ex-princess?" the big one said, his voice being deep and guttural "Are ya gonna take yer punishment, or are we gonna flatten yer stupid little rock farm?"

Luna didn't answer them. She just stood there stern and silent, waiting for them to make the first move. This made the centaurs annoyed by Luna's stoicism at this moment.

"Ya deaf, old mare?!" the thin one shouted in a raspy and nasally voice that acted as a contrast to his chubbier companion, "We asked if ya gonna take your beating or what?!"

Luna inhaled deeply before exhaling and slowly charging up her horn. The big one looked on in shock before Luna blasted him in the face with a massive bolt of magic before flying up and pounding him into the ground with a magically-enhanced blow to the face, cracking his skull open in the process. The smaller one charged at Luna but Luna quickly ducked her head down then raised it back up to impale the centaur through his chin all the way to the roof of his mouth with her horn. The centaur gurgled on the blood that was flowing from his mouth, most of which spilling onto Luna, who was snarling like an animal all the while. And then she heard a voice.

"Luna!"

That voice snapped Luna out of her daydreaming. Five-hundred years of seeing the worst Equestria and beyond has to offer has made Luna more prone to acting out fantasies of bloody retribution in her head as a defence mechanism. Luna could have easily wiped the floor with the centaurs if she wanted to. She could have easily shouted at them so loudly they would be sent to the moon themselves. She could have even cast an illusionary spell that makes it look like spiders are crawling all over them. But she wasn't going to do any of that. She was going to set an example for her foals. If she were to teach them that if one was to settle conflicts, one must learn to turn the other cheek instead of relying on brute strength.

"Well?" The big centaur said

"Yes, Otak. I'm ready for my punishment."

"Good," Otak said, smiling while cracking his knuckles again.

Luna closed her eyes and bowed her head down in preparation for what the centaurs are about to do to her. Otak made the first move by grabbing Luna's head and slamming it into the ground, breaking her nose in the process. Charek then joined in by jumping on top of Luna's ribs and using his forelegs to stomp them into paste while Otak made good work of Luna's face.

"Oh Luna," Bittak said in a mockingly concerned tone "How the hay did they mess you up so bad you won't even defend yourself from some grunts?"

"What she said," Charek said "You and your sister managed to banish our Lord Tirek to Tartarus once upon a time!"

Luna was wavering in and out of consciousness, her vision blurry and her ears ringing. In spite of her body being borderline mangled by the centaurs, with massive puddles of blood beneath her, she can barely feel a thing. She wondered if it's because she didn't care at this point or they are beating her up so badly they damaged her nerve endings. But luckily for her, a gunshot managed to make the centaurs stop.

"Thou shalt CEASE!" Gail said while holding onto his shotgun, using enough volume in the last part of that statement to make her mother proud.

"Heh, this kid is funny," Charek said.

"Yeah, just be glad we got a sense of humour, little foal!" Otak threatened.

The centaurs then hopped back onto their chariots and gestured their gargoyles to fly.

"Double next month!" Charek shouted, "Or you'll have to take it up with Tirek!"

When the centaurs left, Morning March and the alicorn foals quickly ran to their wounded mother. While she was coughing blood and one of her eyes were swollen shut, she smiled with a mouth filled with broken and missing teeth. They all immediately picked her up and carried her into the house so she can heal and get some rest.

---

The darkness covered the sun to signify what is meant to be the night, and everypony has been keeping an eye on Luna in her bedroom. Rather than the comfortable king-sized beds Luna used to have as a princess, hers was a wooden bed with a less than memorable mattress and a pillow that had wool in it rather than feathers. The room itself was a beige-maroon colour than the dark blue one would expect from Luna. As Luna's family kept an eye on Luna, hoping she'd get better soon, there was a knock on the door. Morning March went to open it and standing before him was a hodgepodge of animal appendages. Naturally, this made him take a step back.

"Hi there," Discord said while grabbing one of March's hooves and shaking it "My name is Discord, former lord of chaos and friend to your wife. Speaking of which, where is the poor mare anyway?"

"How do you know Luna?"

"We met when she and her sister turned me into stone. As you can see, I got better. Then her sister's student and her friends turned me back into stone again. Annoying, I know. But they decided to give me a second chance and, after one relapse, I'm her friend now. While she is not my B.P.F.F.I.T.T, she is the only one that's still alive so..."

March just gave Discord a bewildered look. He knew that Luna had faced Discord once with her sister but he never imagined that they would become friends.

"I see...Follow me this way. And please, don't touch anything."

March then showed Discord to Luna's room, with Discord walking closer to Luna's bed and then ducking down in an exaggerated observing pose while stroking his beard. While Luna and Discord haven't been that close as friends, it still warmed her heart to know at least someone was still alive. Discord then grabbed a chair and sat down on it.

"Aw, it doesn't look that bad! Just drink some milk and you'll be right as rain."

"I'm curious. Why did you knock on the door and ask to be invited in?"

"Well" Morning March said, "He didn't really a-"

"Ah ah ah," Discord said while putting a finger on March's mouth "I believe she was asking me."

He then turned back to Luna while still keeping a finger on Morning March's mouth.

"I would have teleported in here but A. It took five-hundred years for me to realize that such thing is rude. And B. I tried doing that but I got the wrong address and wound up in Tirek's lair instead. Guess what happened next."

"I see," Luna said before grimacing in pain. Clearly, she has not healed from the beating Tirek's goons had given her and it pained her to talk. While alicorns do have a potent healing factor, which explains why they can live for millennia, it is not as strong as a draconequus' healing factor and it is also more painful too.

"If you don't mind me asking, what happened to turn you into mashed moon pie?"

"My rent was late and those brutes under Tirek's service came over and punished me for it."

"So you're telling me that you got beaten up by mere henchmen?! Then again, given the Tantabus incident, I suppose you prefer taking punishment rather than doling it out."

Luna just gave Discord an unamused glare.

"Anyway," Discord said "Allow me to cut to the chase. Since that I am now depowered, and since you are in debt to Tirek, I think we can help each other out."

"Explain."

"There's this guy in the Badlands that wants me to pick up a package and deliver it to him. I promised him it would be quick but I just had to go on a little detour, didn't I? And since you've gotten me into this mess, you're gonna get me out of it."

"How am I responsible for you accidentally walking into Tirek's lair and having your magic stolen in the process?"

"Because you're the only friend I have that's still alive! Ahem, any more questions?"

"Yes. Is this delivery legal?"

"Luna! I'm shocked that you would think I would do such a thing as break the law...again. But then again, we live in a world overrun with all sorts of felons so what is legal anyways?"

"Something that obeys the law" Luna deadpanned.

"Anyway, we're getting off-topic here. If you help me get this delivery over to the Badlands, I'm willing to give you at least half of what they are paying. So, what do you say?"

"What would someone like you need money for?"

"To pay for nachos and Mountain Dew that really does come from mountains. I was intending on having a slumber party with the Smooze but it appears we will have to postpone that, won't we?"

Luna sighed before giving Discord a pained but friendly smile.

"I'll join you on your merry quest, Discord."

Author's Note:

By the way, yes, I was listening to Johnny Cash's Hurt while writing this chapter (more specifically, the bit with the centaurs beating the crap out of Luna):

And here is the violence I promised all of y'all! Consider it my Easter gift to everyone.

Comments

[Leondude]

9552915
And the new chapter is out. Happy Easter!

[Leondude]

9580455
Yep. While this is more serious than what I usually write, I won't deny the story has it's funny moments, with Discord providing at least half of them.

[Doctor_Den]

For some reason I thought that the role of Hawkeye would be Spike. By analogy with the original, he is also a member of the team that everyone neglects and which is the weak link.
(like a dragon he could live to that time)