This story takes place after Twilight became a princess but "Magic Duel" never happened so please don't yell at me for not including it.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Huh, I wonder what that goop in Twi's dream is?
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It was probably something to do with fuffly and her sister
nice work.
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Possibly, or it could be a dream about a future enemy.
I make a request. Don't fuck the fluffier kinda like the Secretary. She can be friend. Not pet
well, it JUST so happens i was curious about the heights of each character, and for the record, why is Chrysalis so small?
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She is canon height
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but she's as tall as Celestia in the show,and you've said that Twilight is the tallest of them, but not quite Celestia's height
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I always thought she was as tall as Cadance who is definitely not celestia height. And if this isnt the case then lets just say its because she was malnourished for years
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as far as i know she's as tell as Celestia, cause in CW they clashed horns and were the same height, unless i'm just fucking stupid. And tbh i was actually already going with the low love for years, guess we're on the same page lmao.
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The Secretary isn't a pet. She's literally just an employee. A very good employee, but still just an employee.
nice chapter, im suprised you added fluffle and the necromorph queen
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I was debating with myself to add them in for the longest time. I finally decided Fuck It. I'll add 'em in.
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but why is the word cum between bedroom and office i feel like the word cum shouldnt be there
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Someone explained it to me that it basically means it turned into whatever
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but...wouldnt it just be better just to call it a bedroom office instead of it being bedroom cum office, and if its a bedroom office and the cum is supposed to be there wouldnt it be "bedroom come office" instead of " bedroom cum office"?? im just trying to understand ;-;
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Ask rooks_fanfiction. He's the one who wrote that little snipet in his editing
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Are you rereading the story still?
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i finished rereading it yesterday
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Ok. Well let me know if you want a sneak peek
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and ruin the suprise of what happens next? perish the thought, i can patiently wait like the good fanboy of this story that i am
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Ok. What about Octavia's New Pet
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i can still wait
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It's sitting in her trophy room. It's currently sharing a shelf with what's left of the Storm King.
I just found this story and I loved it, the polygamy, the pet play and the story, well done.
But with all due respect I must place my critic in this. Due note that I will put it in spoilers as to warn that you are free to read it or not or even to take my advice on the matter. Note that this is note to insult your work nor it is to make you stop writing.
The story is hard to follow on several inconsistencies as it seems that all characters are out of character, yes I know that this problem has been pointed out but my point comes from the fact this story seemed to be related to cannon show, ponies don't go killing ponies "just because" and not being huge jerks without proper retaliation, such as; waiters with murder attempt, angry mobs that deserve death, Applejack being brutally beaten up, torture and decapitation. For this I ask you to add a "Dark" and "Violence" tag. Next comes up with the suicide, again, i know you addressed this by placing a fair warning in the description. I thought that was only for Trixie in the first chapters but then Starlight developed a suicide spell and Chrysalis wanted to also kill herself and the worst part was that Pharynx managed to cross the line you mentioned never crossing... Which I hated to even read about; Please put the tag for those who don't want to deal with it.
Following is that you seem to be inconsistent on what to write about and having co-authors makes it hard to tell what story you want to make, first was the mercenary group that out of nowhere arrived and tried to get make a mess of everything that Twilight loves then that Blueblood was behind all of this and in the moment Tempest killed everypony from the "group" and the prince himself with no means whatsoever (also referring to the dark tag here because Celestia goes nonchalant with the whole murdering thing.) then it goes that Twilight was about to punish Tempest which soon goes into reward of pregnating the only guard in her castle and a pony who has more risks to get herself in conflict than enypony else... If you don't know how pregnancy works then I guess I will let this slide... The other thing was about how Twilight promises that she will held wedding to DJ PON-3 and Octavia on Hearts and Hooves Day and that happens when Chrysalis arrived and I can be certain that you, as an author, forgot that important fact.
I loved this story for the right reasons but it seems that the lack of romance was held true and I hope you grow better as an author, good luck and I await you next chapter.
Also the whole first story thing is just a myth, not because this is your first fanfic doesn't mean it has to be bad or good it just means you need to work harder.
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theres explanation to the hatred of Trixie later
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and you think I dont try to work my best!?
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Everyone tries there best, honestly, I don't want to sound rude or anything, nor do I want to offend your work, really as you should know you are doing an excellent job in this fic just by looking at how many fans liked it and the positive comments you have received.
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I agree on all of your points. The suicide theme and homeless them is seriously overkill. No pun of course
it could be lmao
Its funny how her pets now immortal but her friends not :(