This story takes place after Twilight became a princess but "Magic Duel" never happened so please don't yell at me for not including it.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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That was a really good chapter and I absolutely loved it. Although you will have people saying that Twilight was acting out of character when she yelled at the mob but that's because they are comparing it to the show Twilight but this is definitely in character for Twilight's counterpart self in the IWD comics and I can't wait to see more from you and as I said people will complain about Twilight but don't change how your writing her because you're doing a Really Good Job.
Thanks, man I appreciate your feedback. /)
This felt like a slightly smoother read than previous chapters. Although I'm not sure where the plot is going.
That being said, I don't know the IWD comics, but Twilight is no more out of character than any of the characters so far, so it's not really anything to comment on. It's just who the characters are in this story.
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Thank you for noticing! I tried really hard with this chapter!
9452684
I did it to prove that exact point and was trying to say that you shouldn't change how you write the characters because of what people say. This is Ablegabriel first story and I am just trying to say that there will be people who don't like how the characters act but you should just be yourself when that happens. The stories you write are your stories and that can never change.
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Thanks man!
This was a fun chapter, it’s always nice to seen Twilight being protective of those she cares about. Seeing Trixie actually shout at Cadance was also nice, it shows that while she may not be up to being her normal, utterly self-confident self, all the time yet, she still has it in her and it already seems to be surfacing on a daily basis. I had kind of hoped to see Shining Armor, watching him try to keep his head from exploding when his mental image of his sweet innocent little sister ran into Mistress Twilight and her collared pet mare would have been fun, but maybe well get to see that later. As for Twilight going to Celestia, at first I thought it seemed a bit surprising, she cares about Celestia’s opinion so much and it seems like it would be very much in her nature to worry that Celestia might disapprove or be disappointed in her because of the nature of her relationship with Trixie. But then it hit me, that’s what makes it so sweet, her determination to keep Trixie safe completely overrode her normal anxieties and fears. Still, I think my favorite part of the chapter was how the two of them kept reassuring and calming each other with pats and nuzzles, it was just wonderfully sweet. Oh, and nuzzles are like hugs, it’s impossible to have too many of either. Also, one thing that did occur to me when Twilight was thanking the six who were there to keep Trixie safe was that Trixie probably would have been fine even if starlight hadn’t been there. In fact, I almost wish we had gotten the chance to see how one of Celestia’s elite anti-monster agents deals with an angry mob. Oh, and Celestia's complete lack of reaction the the type of relationship Twilight and Trixie share makes me wonder if this is one of those realities where, in addition to the night itself, Luna is also princess of all those fun things that happen at night.
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thanks, I'm glad you like my story.
*nuzzles intensify*
the power of nuzzles
finally thought of something on my fifth time reading it
Well except for the smoking crater babe I think that went pretty much how I expected and The idiots who wound up escalating the problem are super dead D E A D dead
"Relaxation" oh boy here comes a lemon