Continuity Disrupted

by Doug Graves

40 The Jester, Part Five

Doug stares at Trixie from his seat at the table, his surprise fortunately covered by Twilight Sparkle’s… suggestion. Did he want this? Trixie is attractive, aside from the arrogant personality. Maybe some stallions find that confidence, that self-assuredness, enticing. But, much like the rest of the mares in the herd, Doug finds it fairly off-putting. A persona, not the real thing. Maybe he was wrong about it being just a stage personality, but she did just finish a performance.

Trixie turns to Twilight Sparkle, her eyes tracing up and down and slowly inspecting the eager unicorn. The mare has completely removed herself from her notes at the table, instead almost subserviently standing at attention. A wide, innocent smile covers her muzzle, though it is starting to fade at the delay in Trixie’s reaction. The purple rose still sits behind her ear, a jaunty reminder. Maybe she isn’t as naive as she seems, but Trixie has not met that good an actor before. And she is cute, in an innocent sort of way. Trixie can work with this.

Doug turns his body to look at Twilight Sparkle; does she have a clue as to what she is inviting herself to? Judging by her carefree smile, the complete lack of blush? Probably, scratch that, definitely not. And that makes it less exciting for him, not more; he doesn’t want to trick her into something like this. Would Twilight Sparkle have volunteered for this if she knew what she is getting into?

“This wouldn’t be the first time Trixie has… invited a herdmate along,” Trixie slowly says, glancing back at Doug. He seems to be just as in shock as her - likely she’s the shy, reserved one normally - before her gaze returns to Twilight Sparkle. “What makes you think you are worthy of The Great and Powerful Trixie’s attention?”

Doug nearly raises an eyebrow; no wonder Trixie had given him a purple rose along with the other colors. It made sense, at least, that she thought that he is involved with each of them, since they exited the store and sat together. Was a herdmate coming along for the ‘show’ really that uncommon? Maybe to make sure the stallion isn’t abused? Or because they enjoy seeing their stallion dominate another mare? Though, in this case, he can easily see Trixie as the dominatrix type. Maybe they enjoy that, too.

“Herdmate?” Twilight Sparkle says, shaking her head at the assertion, though both Trixie and Doug glance to the rose still behind her ear. “I just wanted another chance to see, um, the great Trixie in action?” Her wide smile returns, a brief glance at Trixie’s horn and gray-blue mane.

“That’s ‘The Great and Powerful Trixie!’, if you think you are ready for all of the action,” Trixie says with a sly smirk, realizing that Twilight Sparkle is both not in a steady relationship with Doug and clueless about the direction of the conversation. “But The Great and Powerful Trixie does not think you are ready for anything she will be bringing.” Trixie turns to Doug, pointedly not looking at Twilight, “And Trixie Lulamoon is ready for anything that you can bring.”

Doug’s poker face slips slightly, a bit of a smirk peeking out. After an assertion like that? Applejack wouldn’t say no; he probably wouldn’t even need to get her permission - though, he still would - to pit his earth-pony trained endurance against whoever Trixie has run into along her journeys.

Actually, when he puts it like that, he finds it quite a turn off. Far more than the combative attitude is. Just the fact that she would give away something that intimate for a brief bout of pleasure. And, given how casually she suggested it to him, something she has been doing for a while. No matter what kind of ‘tricks’ she has picked up along the way.

Which, in combination with how Twilight Sparkle is acting, is enough to tip the scales.

“Sorry, Trixie,” Doug says with a heavy sigh, his body pulling away and leaning up against the booth cushion. He tries to keep a somewhat neutral expression, “But I’m not really looking for that.”

“What?” Trixie exclaims, her eyes darting between Twilight Sparkle and Doug. She leans in close, “If she is the problem, then trust me, I can make her disappear.”

“It’s not that,” Doug responds, though he immediately purses his lips. “Well, it is a little. But, I’m not looking for a quick fling.”

“Wait, quick fling?” Twilight Sparkle pipes up, raising an eyebrow. “Are you throwing cards? Juggling pins?”

Doug continues regardless, still facing Trixie, a hint of anger starting to show on the blue unicorn’s face, “If you were looking to join the herd, that would be one thing, but I suspect that’s not something you are terribly interested in.”

Trixie sputters briefly, “You… you’re not?” Trixie follows Doug’s brief glance to Twilight Sparkle, her eyes narrowing. “Are you interested in her?” She points a hoof accusingly at Twilight Sparkle, the purple mare starting to realize what is truly being discussed with the ‘herd’ comment. The short hairs of her mane angrily stand on end at his slight, almost involuntary nod, “The Great and Powerful Trixie is ten times the unicorn she is!”

“And, if I was looking, I want a relationship that will last more than ten times as long.” Doug sighs, folding his hands in front of him, saying apologetically but firmly, “I’m sorry, Trixie. The answer is still no.”

“Suit yourself,” Trixie spits out, storming away from the booth. She turns at the door, shooting daggers at Doug - fortunately for the stallion, only with her eyes - nearly shouting, “Your loss!”

Doug’s hands go out, as if saying, ‘sorry, what do you want me to do?’ though his face belies any real regret.

Trixie slams the door behind her as she storms out of Sugarcube Corner, the bell above jingling merrily. She stomps over to her wagon and slams that door shut as well, the entire stage shaking. Pinkie Pie glances out from the kitchen, immediately going back in when she doesn’t see any customers, though she does glance at Doug and Twilight Sparkle to make sure they’re okay.

“Wait, was there not actually going to be a magic show?” Twilight Sparkle says as she sits back down at the booth, confusion plain in her voice as she stares at the wagon.

“Well, I’m sure there would have been at least one disappearing act,” Doug says cheekily.

Twilight Sparkle reaches across the table and smacks Doug on the arm. “I’m being serious! She was inviting you for sex!”

“Yes, I believe she was,” Doug says, still smirking as he rubs his arm.

“And… and I invited myself along for the sex!” Twilight blushes furiously, her head dropping down to the table. “What kind of mare am I?”

“Naive?” Doug says, pulling his arm away from the retaliatory swing. “Inexperienced? Clueless?”

“I’m not clueless about sex! I happen to have a very… pardon the phrase, intimate understanding of the mechanics behind the physiology!” Twilight Sparkle pouts, staring out the window. “Maybe I miss some of the subtle points when two ponies… start a romantic rendezvous, but I know what happens!” She points a hoof at Doug, “And I saw you and Fluttershy… going at it!”

“Sure, sure,” Doug smirks, trying to find a glass of water or something to hide his smile. A muffin suffices; he says, mouth full of gummy worm, “Any non-dream experience?”

Twilight Sparkle succeeds in smacking Doug’s arm again, “I wouldn’t tell you if I didn’t! Or did!”

Doug merely shrugs, “Suit yourself. Sounds like a ‘no’ to me.”

“Keep believing that,” Twilight Sparkle says, flicking her mane from side to side.

The two sit in silence for a minute, the only sound Doug finishing off two muffins, Twilight Sparkle stewing in her thoughts while Doug has a bemused, satisfied grin. Twilight Sparkle finally says, staring out the window at the wagon, “So, do you not find Trixie attractive?”

“She’s cute enough, physically,” Doug says, shrugging. “Why?”

“Do you find me attractive?” Twilight Sparkle says, turning to fix Doug’s eyes with a harsh glare.

Doug looks up and down Twilight Sparkle, the unicorn blushing slightly as his gaze lingers on her flanks. “Again, you’re cute enough. Mane-style could use a little sprucing up, but that’s you being you. I don’t mind the professional look. Again, why?”

“I’m trying to figure something out,” Twilight Sparkle says with a pointed look away from Doug.

“Something you want help with?” Doug asks, a slight frown at her cold shoulder. “Look, the magic trick was different. You’re not supposed to know how it works, or it ruins the mystery. Figuring it out is the entire point, otherwi-”

“I know that!” spits out Twilight Sparkle, spinning to glare at Doug. “I’m not upset at that!”

“O-okay?” Doug says, raising an eyebrow. “Are you sure?”

Twilight Sparkle grabs one of the muffins Doug has in front of him, chucking it at him. Doug doesn’t try to dodge, merely watching the muffin sail past him and smoosh up against the wall, leaving a gummy worm as it topples to the ground with a wet thunk.

Doug’s eyes stop following the muffin as it rolls across the floor, ending up at his feet. His gaze raises to the fuming mare. He meets her eyes for a few seconds before he bends down, picking up the muffin and taking a bite. “Got it,” he says, leaning back against the cushion again.

“You’re impossible,” Twilight Sparkle huffs, dropping down to rest her head in her forelegs.

Doug can’t help himself, “I thought that was the box trick.”

Twilight Sparkle raises one eye to glare at Doug as he takes another bite of the muffin. “Then why didn’t you chase after Trixie?”

“Too arrogant, for one,” Doug says, a bit of a shrug.

“Couldn’t you just hold her mouth shut while you bang her?” Twilight Sparkle offers with a smirk.

Doug nearly chokes on the muffin before he chuckles, nodding his head. “Yes; but, like I said, I’m not looking for a quick fling.” Doug finishes off the muffin, looking at the blank spot in front of him where muffins used to be. “If sex is part of the dating process, fine, but sex for the sake of physical pleasure cheapens the entire experience. If I just want to get off? Well, I’ve got five very willing mares here. Before I met them?” He waggles his hand back and forth, a bit of a sigh, “Maybe I can see the appeal, then. Physically, at least. But emotionally? What a hollow way to live, and anyone stuck in that state deserves pity or reassurance, not condemnation. Hopefully they’ll find somepony eventually.”

Twilight Sparkle stares outside, having looked away at the point when Doug held up his hand. She eventually says, a concerned look on her face, “Do you think I’ll find somepony eventually?”

“Depends how low you’re willing to settle,” Doug says, a slight grin as Twilight Sparkle’s face falls, “But I wouldn’t aim for anything less than the moon.”

“Wait, WHAT?” Twilight Sparkle exclaims, backing out of her seat.

“Oh, jeez,” Doug says, covering his mouth, “That probably means something different here, doesn’t it?” He smiles apologetically, “I should have realized, I’m sorry.”

Twilight Sparkle slowly takes her seat, “Yes. Yes it does. The only reason to aim for the moon used to be to show your loyalty to Princess Celestia, by taking aim at Nightmare Moon. Then it became so overused it became a joke. That the only reason to aim at the moon was because you were so over the top trying to prove your loyalty that you were actually a Nightmare Moon supporter.” Twilight Sparkle pauses, “Actually, with Princess Luna returned, and Nightmare Moon gone? Hmm.”

Doug smiles, “Ah. Thanks. You know, most ponies would have just kept quiet about knowing the meaning behind the phrase. Not wanting to appear a know-it-all.” Twilight Sparkle’s face falls a little more as Doug continues, “And yet you don’t. Because you aren’t like that, you merely want to spread knowledge.” Doug returns his hands to the table, playing with his fingers.

“Are you trying to butter me up?” Twilight Sparkle says, her smile returning, “Because it’s working.”

Doug chuckles, a slight wave of his hand. “Anyway, I use the phrase as an expression meaning, ‘to aim as high as possible’. And, as the saying goes, ‘even if you miss, you’ll end up among the stars.’ Maybe we can reclaim it to mean something positive.”

“Aww, that’s cute. I think Princess Luna would love that.” Twilight Sparkle beams, though it shifts to more of a smirk as she says, “Even if you could also have been referring to Trixie.”

Doug laughs, “Heh, I guess I could have been. I suppose that was the other reason, at least a little. I wouldn’t have wanted our first time to have been like that.”

“Been like what?” Twilight Sparkle says, though she is able to follow Doug’s head shake towards the wagon. “Oh. Really?” She pauses for a brief moment, “You think I would have gone along with the sex just because you and Trixie were, um, getting it on?”

“Maybe? Probably not? Then again, you might have been curious about what it’s like.” Doug shrugs as Twilight Sparkle smiles, “But, even if you didn’t, that expectation would have been formed, that that is the kind of relationship I’m looking for if anything serious started happening between us.”

“Aww,” Twilight Sparkle says, her innocent smile replaced by a sultry grin. She stands up, starting towards the door to Sugarcube Corner and coyly looking behind herself, her tail flicking to the side, “You know, I don’t think I showed you all of the things I can do. How would you like a private magic show?”

“No sex?” Doug says as he gets up.

“No promises,” Twilight Sparkle smirks, winking at Doug as her horn lights, pulling his hand back towards the library.

Comments

[Luna is back]

Doug chuckles, a slight wave of his hand. “Anyway, I use the phrase as an expression meaning, ‘to aim as high as possible’. And, as the saying goes, ‘even if you miss, you’ll end up among the stars.’ Maybe we can reclaim it to mean something positive.”

Fly me to the moon
Let me play among the stars
Let me see what spring is like
On a, Jupiter and Mars
In other words, hold my hand
In other words, baby, kiss me

I have no clue why this popped up suddenly.

[JLtheking]

D’aww Twily is so cute!!! Love the little details about her naive reaction to this hilarious encounter.

[DarkPhoenixx]

She is just sooooo adorkable!

[PinkDragonJr]

9760549
Cause it is a good song.

And I watched Evagelion too.

[Poparakelis]

Adorkable as always twilight