Continuity Disrupted

by Doug Graves

144 Lysah's Respite, Part Two

“Oh. Um. Well! Where to begin!?” Twilight Sparkle frantically looks at the snow surrounding them. Late afternoon slowly turns to evening, the light barely diffusing through gradually becoming dimmer. “I guess it started this morning, when I was going through a few checklists with Spike. And I realized that I hadn’t completed a Friendship report to the Princess this week!”

Fluttershy slowly nods, waiting for Twilight to continue. After a few seconds of watching Twilight rock herself back and forth Fluttershy tentatively offers, “She does like hearing from you!”

Twilight grins, nodding her head. “Yes! But it’s so much more than just hearing from me! She uses these weekly reports to gauge my progress! Weekly! Not every two weeks, or every ten days! Weekly! And if I’m not progressing, do you know what that means? That means that I’m stagnant! That I’m not improving, and not learning how to be a better friend!”

“Oh, dear,” Fluttershy commiserates.

“And if that’s the case, she’s going to make me take a test, to see if I have learned everything there is to know about Friendship! And because I obviously haven’t, since not even Princess Celestia herself knows everything there is to know about Friendship, there’s no way I could pass it! And she’ll send me back to magic kindergarten!”

Fluttershy suppresses her snickering with a cough. She says, as neutrally as possible, “Yes, that does sound bad. What did you do about that?”

“Well, I first went to my Friends to see if they had any friendship problems that I could deal with.” Twilight turns a manic eye towards Fluttershy. “Still no change in that department? No friendship problems that I can help solve?” She motions to herself, “Other than, apparently, this one?” At Fluttershy’s delayed shake of the head she sighs, “I thought so.” Twilight taps her hooves together, looking away. “I thought that… I thought that if I couldn’t find a Friendship problem, that I might…” she looks sheepishly at Fluttershy, “make a Friendship problem? That I could then solve?”

“That sounds… plausible,” Fluttershy reluctantly says. “And, um, purely for future reference in case I need to, hmm, disappear, what Friendship problem did you decide… to make?”

“Well, I was going to give Smarty Pants - she’s my favorite foalhood doll, by the way; she’s got all kinds of accessories, like a little notebook and quill so you can pretend that she’s doing her homework, or a brush so that you could stroke her mane, just like I always wanted my mane to be stroked; and I would take her to bed with me, and cuddle up close to her, just like I want to cuddle up with my own foals-”

Twilight’s eyes tear up, grasping Fluttershy and crying into her coat.

“There, there,” Fluttershy reassures, stroking the magenta line of Twilight’s mane.

Twilight sobs as her hooves violently shake Fluttershy, “Princess Celestia is going to take that away from me! She’ll take me away from you all, and from Doug, and I’ll never have any f-friends again because all the f-fillies will just laugh at me because I’m such a horrible f-f-friend!”

“T-th-he-re th-er-re,” Fluttershy shakily ekes out, eventually getting Twilight to calm down. “We both know that’s not going to happen.”

Twilight nods, a bit of her mania returning as she sits up. “You’re right! I have no reason to worry, because I’m going to solve that Friendship problem! Now, where did those fillies run off to?”

“Now,” Fluttershy says, a bit of command in her voice, “before you do that, what exactly were you going to do to them?”

“Oh, just a minor Want-It-Need-It spell. Get them to fight over the doll, and realize the importance of sharing.” Twilight shrugs. “Easily dispelled. Why?”

“Oh, well, you see,” Fluttershy stammers, gawking a little at Twilight. “A Want-It-Need-It spell is pretty powerful Malevolence magic. I’m not surprised that you can cast it, it’s more…” Fluttershy ponders for a second. “The liability concerns associated with any unwilling mental influence. You’d be responsible for anything negative those four did while influenced, and maybe even afterwards. And I would be Honestly compelled to come forth.”

Twilight scoffs. “Oh, please, they’re three young mares and a filly. What’s the worst that could happen?”

“Uh… you do realize which three young mares you are referring to, right?” Fluttershy nervously glances around. “I don’t think the town could withstand them escalating against each other.”

“Noo,” Twilight explains, shaking her head. “I would dispel the spell once they started fighting with each other! And then they’d make up and be friends again!”

“Really?” Fluttershy taps a hoof against her chin. “I mean, I think they’d run off before you could do that, and the whole town would fall under the compulsion. Doug would probably end up with the doll, because magic doesn’t affect him the same as it does us, so he could actually focus on evading everypony else instead of being magically compelled to play with it.” Fluttershy pauses at the odd look in Twilight’s eyes. “Are you okay?”

Twilight grins again. “Yup! Yup. Everything’s fine!”

“Okay.” Fluttershy hums to herself, watching Twilight twitch back and forth. “And, if Doug did have the doll, then everypony who saw it would be magically compelled to do anything to get the doll from him. Anything.”

“You don’t say?” Twilight head cocks to an odd angle, locking there for several long seconds.

Fluttershy slowly nods. “Did you talk to Doug at all? I know it seems like he always has something he’s working on. Maybe that would have worked as a Friendship problem?”

“Well, yes and no.” Twilight slowly becomes less agitated as she talks. “I asked him if he was busy, and he said that he was. You know, working out all the super last minute changes everypony wants to make to their weather and rainfall patterns. But that’s kind of his job, you know, not really a friendship problem that he needed help with.” Twilight sighs as she recalls, “And then later, when I was really feeling bad, the conversation went something like ‘Doug?’ ‘Yes?’ Then I saw the Crusaders, and said, ‘Never mind!’. And then I came here.” She pauses for a second. "He might have followed me."

“Well, when I’m feeling stressed about something, I often go to him, especially if it’s something my animal friends don’t have much experience with. He’s a good listener, willing to make time for us, but sometimes I do feel bad using up that time.”

“Really?” Twilight says, a hoof running through her askew mane. “Why would you feel bad about that?”

“Well...” Fluttershy pauses for a few seconds. She continues, quieter, “Sometimes I’m scared of revealing myself. That he will reject me, or my issues, or my feelings, and make me feel bad about having them. Or, maybe it’s not that he’ll reject them, but he’ll make me face them. Like the dragons.” Fluttershy turns, looking Twilight in the eye. “He made me to go Tarrapalooza because dragons scare me so much!”

“Didn’t you have a good time there?” Twilight asks, slightly confused as the light around them dims to almost nothing.

“Not the point!” Fluttershy huffs once before a smile spreads across her muzzle. “Okay, maybe that was the point. That sometimes we blow things far out of proportion, or we focus so much on the worst possible outcome that we get blinded to everything else.”

Twilight sighs, downcast, even as the snow around them brightens from the light of the stars and moon. “Like you think I’m doing with this whole ‘magic kindergarten’ thing.”

Fluttershy shakes her head. “I didn’t say that.” She continues after a second, “I might have been thinking it, but I didn’t say it.”

“Well, everypony else in the herd has no problem saying it.” Twilight demands, “Do you think it’s true?”

“Well,” Fluttershy stammers, shying back a little. “I mean, as far as worst outcomes goes, she could banish you, or dehorn you, or make you rule Equestria.”

“Banishment?!” Twilight paws at the snow, her manic look returning in full force. “I didn’t even consider banishment! But if she banished me, she’d be breaking up the Elements of Harmony! She might take away the Element of Magic from me, and give it to”-Twilight’s eyes narrow, snorting jets of steam-“Trixie.” Twilight stamps a hoof. “Well, I won’t let that happen!”

“Of course you won’t,” reassures Fluttershy. “You’ll get your lesson done in time!”

Twilight smiles at first before her eyes shrink to pinpricks. “Wait, why would she dehorn me?”

“Well, you kind of wanted to use a large-scale, indiscriminate Malevolence spell. I’m pretty sure you shouldn’t be doing that.” Fluttershy taps her hooves together a few times.

“You don’t say,” Twilight says nervously, glancing around. Her eyes widen as the roof of the snow burrow levitates up several feet, the darkness of night surrounding them. “I’m late!” she shouts, covering her head with her hooves. “I didn't get the Friendship lesson done in time! I’m… tardy!” Snow, surrounded by a muted golden aura, begins to fly around, packing itself into taller walls. “What if Princess Celestia finds out?! She’s going to send me back to magic kindergarten!” Twilight breaks into loud sobs, falling to the ground.

“Hello, my little pony,” Princess Celestia calmly says as she pushes her way into the snow burrow, now large enough for her to comfortably rest, though her tail and mane seem awfully subdued, and her horn occasionally scratches against the ceiling. “How are things?”

Fluttershy glances over at Twilight’s bowing, cowering form. “Um, don’t take this the wrong way, Princess, but please don’t banish Twilight for missing her Friendship report. She stayed to talk with me, and I’m very certain that she would have gotten one in time if I hadn’t kept her!”

“Oh, don’t worry about that, Fluttershy. I’m just here to observe.” Princess Celestia smiles at Fluttershy as she pops a piece of popcorn into her mouth. “Want any?”

“Um, sure,” Fluttershy says, opening her mouth to accept the buttery treat. “Observe what?”

Princess Celestia merely winks as faint shouts can be heard coming from Ponyville.

“Twilight…” Fluttershy groans. “What did you do?”

“Um,” Twilight says, rubbing her hooves together, seemingly oblivious to Princess Celestia’s presence. “Delayed Want-It-Need-It spell that slowly increases in potency over time?” She huffs at Fluttershy’s look of horror. “What? I didn’t know how powerful the spell would need to be to get them to fight over it! And I would… be there… to…”

“Uh oh.”

Twilight nearly pokes her head outside the snow burrow only for a bare-chested Doug to bull rush past her, diving headfirst into Twilight. Fortunately, his head hits the side of hers and not the horn, leaving both of them reeling.

“Doug!” Fluttershy exclaims. “Are you-”

“No time!” Doug hurriedly whispers, groaning and rubbing his head. “Fluttershy, close your eyes!”

“Okay!” Fluttershy says eagerly, her eyes snapping shut while her mouth opens wide, a hint of a smile peeking out along the edges. Her tongue wets her lips, then lays out, waiting patiently.

“Dammit, Flutters,” Doug moans as he pulls his bundled light jacket from under his arm. His eyes slowly focus on the purple mare next to him. “Wait, Twilight is here?” He roughly shakes her, getting only a moan in return. “Twilight, wake up!”

“Wua?” Twilight replies, dazed. “What’s going on?”

“Twilight,” Doug says, confirming with a glance that Fluttershy’s eyes are still closed. He closes her mouth with one hand, getting a frown in return. “Something happened to this doll. But it’s affecting everypony who sees it, making them want it so bad they’ll fight each other for it. Do you have any magic that can prevent that?” Doug turns to Fluttershy, “Or, ‘Shy, can you?”

“Oh, well, as the caster of that spell I’m immune to the effects.” Twilight offers a meek grin as Doug’s glare turns to smolder against her. “So I can help?”

“Help.” Doug stares at Twilight as hooves thunder around them, ponies indiscriminately shouting about Fluttershy’s cottage and the Everfree Forest. He unwraps the doll. “Maybe you can start by dispelling this.”

Twilight’s horn glows briefly. The sounds of shouting around them cease, replaced by confused muttering.

“Well, that’s over with.” Doug grunts as he lets his jacket fall from his hands, rubbing his head. “You would not believe how hard it is to get that doll away from Big Mac.” He sits up just enough to glare at Twilight. “Or the chain of throwing the doll, wait for the inevitable melee to knock it loose, and repeat. Or trying to hide, knowing that they can sense it, and it’s only a matter of time before I’m found again.” He shudders. “Good thing they didn’t see the fake throw coming, there at the end.”

“Doug!” comes Applejack’s call from outside.

“Fluttershy!?” Rainbow Dash that time.

“Twilight!” Rarity, a bit more worry than the others.

“In here!” Doug shouts, turning back and instantly recoiling as he sees Princess Celestia and her freely flowing mane for the first time. “Celestia!? What are you doing here?”

“Princess Celestia’s here?” exclaims Twilight as Applejack, Rarity, Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, and Spike all crowd into the burrow. Twilight hangs her head in shame. “Well, if you care to visit, I’ll be in magic kindergarten, back in Canterlot.” A tear comes to her eye. “Or Tartarus.”

Rarity swoons, “Of all the worst possible things that could happen!”

Pinkie Pie pronks over, violently shaking Princess Celestia, “Please! We were doing so well, surely that counts for something! Nopony was hurt this time, it was all just like a big fun game that everypony was magically compelled into playing! All in good fun!”

“Hmm,” Princess Celestia says, considering.

“No, everypony. Princess Celestia’s right.” Twilight sighs remorsefully. “I was… tardy. I’m a bad student! I was supposed to learn about Friendship every week, and send you a letter, but I… I didn’t. I understand your decision to remove me as your student, and from any other plans you had for me, but please don’t send me away from Ponyville!”

“Wait!” shouts Rainbow Dash.

Applejack continues, “It wasn’t her fault!”

Pinkie Pie adds, “You can’t punish her!”

Princess Celestia nods slowly. “I’m listening.”

Applejack sighs. “Well, she got all worked up, about something we thought was nothing.”

“We saw she was upset,” Rarity says, “but then she ran off!”

“And none of us tried to stop her.” Rainbow sniffs as she paws at the snow. “We should have taken her feelings seriously!”

Pinkie Pie nods furiously. “Please! Pretty pretty please, don’t take Twilight away from us because we were too insensitive!”

“Well, Twilight was able to take care of things on her own…” Celestia’s eyes stray to Doug and Fluttershy, “...mostly. So, my order that she remains with her Friends, remains. And Twilight, I do not need to receive a letter from you every week detailing your findings on Friendship.” Her gaze shifts, focusing on each pony, dragon, and human in turn. “However, in order to fulfill Twilight’s punishment, I have an order for each of you.”

Everycreature readily agrees.

Princess Celestia smiles pleasantly. “I would like each of you to report your findings on the magic of Friendship to me when, and only when, you happen to discover them.”

“Except for me, right?” Spike looks around the burrow. “Since, well, I did take Twilight’s feelings seriously, and then when we couldn’t find her and the weird stuff in town started happening and I sent a letter, and…”

Spike gulps at everypony’s stares. “Okay, fine. I’ll write letters, too.” He mutters to himself as he leaves the burrow, soon followed by the rest of the herd.

“You know, Spike, if you just trusted Twilight we wouldn’t have to write these letters,” Rainbow Dash says, though she quickly turns back at the burrow where Celestia, Doug, and Fluttershy remain. She shouts while flying off, “Not that I mind writing letters! I don’t! Please don’t banish me to magic kind of garden!”

“Cn I opn my mth nw?” Fluttershy grits out through her closed mouth, eyes still shut.

“Sure,” Doug says with a grin, “but only the mouth.” He looks over at Celestia as Fluttershy’s mouth pops open. “Did you need anything?”

“A turn?” Celestia pouts a little at Doug’s pondering chin scratch.

Comments

[A.P.O.N.I.]

9583506
"Come up", indeed.

[JLtheking]

“No time!” Doug hurriedly whispers, groaning and rubbing his head. “Fluttershy, close your eyes!”

“Okay!” Fluttershy says eagerly, her eyes snapping shut while her mouth opens wide, a hint of a smile peeking out along the edges. Her tongue wets her lips, then lays out, waiting patiently.

This made me laugh way harder than it probably should have
It’s also kinda hot

He looks over at Celestia as Fluttershy’s mouth pops open. “Did you need anything?”

“A turn?” Celestia pouts a little at Doug’s pondering chin scratch.

[DarkPhoenixx]

you Celestia are a troll lol

[f0st3r21]

Tia’s getting mad thirsty.

[Comet_Chaser]

Damn, Celestia's down bad for Doug lmao

[Poparakelis]

“A turn?” Celestia pouts a little at Doug’s pondering chin scratch.

Pervert

[Doug Graves]

11632232
Thanks for all the comments! Glad you stuck it through, even if the MC isn't exactly your cup of tea.