stunned state or replace stun with confusion or possibly frustration.
lightweight materiel
material
she could smash it into my coart
court
who I just can’t seem the name of
seem to remember the name of,
I could I saw her shake a bit in anger.
I could see or I saw depending on the tense of the sentence or paragraph
an angry yell while shooting
"diving" is what I would recommend instead of "shooting"
at my despoil
"disposal" my good storyteller
had taken from Lightning
what was taken and upgraded?
it was made her join Sunset’s team in the first place.
"was what made"
sense the fights
"since", "sense" is and in the five senses: taste, touch, sight, smell and hearing.
You did very well for your first fight scene but I get the feeling you get excited when you write which causes you to over look some mistakes and make poor word choices. All in all I'm enjoying what is being shown.
awesome stuff man
stunned state or replace stun with confusion or possibly frustration.
material
court
seem to remember the name of,
I could see or I saw depending on the tense of the sentence or paragraph
"diving" is what I would recommend instead of "shooting"
"disposal" my good storyteller
what was taken and upgraded?
"was what made"
"since", "sense" is and in the five senses: taste, touch, sight, smell and hearing.
You did very well for your first fight scene but I get the feeling you get excited when you write which causes you to over look some mistakes and make poor word choices. All in all I'm enjoying what is being shown.