Rebirth of a Hero - Flaming Heart of Justice
After Phoenix had taken place on the couch and started to stretch his limbs his brother returned to what he actually wanted to discuss with him. “So, how does it feel? Did it hurt? Saw any ancestors that were bound to the driver or discs? Tell me everything!”
“Great, it felled like I had infinite energy if I were unstoppable. I can’t properly describe it. No, it did not hurt, actually quite the opposite. The disc healed the injuries that I suffered through my attempt to absorb the attack. Yeah, trying to get the magic that way is not really viable. The disc can’t take in that amount of magic in such a short time, and the rest of the attack still affects the user, so I’m not doing that again, period, because I like living. And to your last question, no! Why do you even think that? No one besides myself has used the discs, so it’s rather unlikely that the spirit of someone would have bounded to them? By the way, the idea is just laughable!”
“Didn’t you think recreating the magic discs was laughable?” His brother countered, all with a smug grin on his face.
“Difference, unreasonable against no evidence of such!”
“Fine. Still, it’s a shame that the monster escaped, with the stuff it was spewing from it, it seemed to not be the type for that.”
“I think that was a facade or rather what it wants to be. The thing seems like the standard cliche of a ‘revolutionary’ from a terribly written book. His short temper is only adding to this, but whatever it’s not like we will stumble over it out of sheer luck.” Phoenix jokingly said, just to frantically look around. Thunder was just giving him a confused look. “What? I at least had to try; it's not like it did any harm.”
His brother just rolled his eyes and added: “That is not how it works, you can not simply rely on luck. Besides you are not really lucky.”
“I like to counter that with the fact that I’m still alive, found a magical anomaly and recreated an artifact our family had worked on for centuries and all this on my first day in Canterlot. If that is not lucky, I have to ask what is?”
“Point taken. However, I would still not count on your ‘luck,’ since if one thing is certain, then it is that something like luck can be gone as fast as it appears. So, what are we going to do regarding that monster, we can’t let it run around, that only will get people hurt and find it is damn near impossible since we have no leads, we are no detectives, and this city is big, so searching for it is a rather fruitless endeavor.”
“We could simply call out for it. I did get under its skin, so maybe it falls for the bait?”
“And how would you do that? If you wait in some public place you bring civilians in danger, and the chance that the police asks some unpleasant question is relatively high, since, you know, vigilante.”
“We could simply wait, that is also an option. I don’t think he is the type to lay low, too much of a hothead.”
“We don’t have many other options, have we?” Thunder begrudgingly agreed with his brother.
>-------<A>-------<
Next day peace had returned to the city, even if it was only superficial. At least in the pizzeria, everything was normal. Summer bossed him around under the pretense of teaching him the ropes.
“Move faster we don’t have all day.” Summer was trying to get Phoenix to speed up his pace since was blocking the door to the rest of the restaurant.
“Sorry, I think you have given me too many orders. I can’t open the door!” Indeed, he was struggling to balance four plates, all of them with the biggest pizzas they had, with his hands and on his arms.
“When you work in the restaurant business you have to be capable of something like this, if you are not, I suggest taking another job.”
“As if I could do that. This is basically my rent; I’m lucky I get paid anything. So job switching isn’t really an option.”
“I know, so stop complaining and start learning.” With that, she playfully stuck out her tongue. “By the way, want to do something tomorrow evening? I wanted to go jogging through the woods and was looking for a training partner. Since you know, training alone can be quite boring.”
“Jogging? Doesn't this involve walking or running? I’m not the sports guy, to much stress and doing stuff. Sorry.”
“Oh, well then that can’t be helped, your loss.” She seemed somewhat sad about his answer.
“I think that is a wonderful idea, why don’t we all three go jogging together. See it as a teambuilding exercise. And you could use some training anyway Phoenix.” Thunder had just hijacked their conversation.
“Sure why not, the more, the merrier.”
“Isn’t that my choice, or did I missed the meeting where it was decided that you can choose what I do or not do?” He seemed somewhat irritated by them deciding over his head what he was going to do.
“Yes, you missed it, yesterday when you were driving around town without any idea how to get back.” Thunder seeming to find Summers response rather funny.
“Fine! I see I have no say in the matter. I hope you two take it easy with me, my constitution is horrible, so please have mercy.”
Devilish grins began to form on both the waitresses and cooks faces. Phoenix didn’t like this one bit, not one bit.
“Right, orders! I have to go! Now!” And with that, he pushed the door open with his shoulder and stumbling out of the kitchen, luckily not dropping anything.
After he had delivered the plates to table seven and nine, he caught a glimpse of the program on the TV and stopped for a moment to listen to it.
“ Like you probably know, this street was the scene of the recent monster attack. The damage from its rampage is still quite visible and if it hadn’t been for the mysterious hero Kamen Rider Alchemie, who knows what would have happened.” While the reporter was saying that a video of the monster flying out of the alleyway was playing in the background. Apparently, they hadn’t been able to see what had happened in the alley and he was thankful for that. The moment Alchemie stepped into the video he felt pride in what he had done. “The police have yet to release an official statement regarding the masked vigilant but we did manage to get an interview with mister Pharynx, the security-chef of Change Industries. And we give the mice to our young reporter Fresh News.” A rather muscular man with dark cyan skin, short, washed out ruby colored hair and a violate suit with amaranth tie could be seen standing next to a young woman with light brown skin and hair that was a darker shade of brown. Her grey suite sold her reporter look.
“So mister Pharynx, since your employer seemed to be the goal of the attack what have you to say about the prospect of your company being attacked?”
With a rather growly voice, he answered her question: “I’m shocked that someone would attack our company. Sadly it doesn’t matter how much good you do some people will hold grudges against you, how petty they may be, and apparently, our monster from yesterday is one of these people. With the situation as it is I have decided to triple our security forces to make sure our CEO is not harmed by this beast. On that note, our CEO madam Crisela has decided that the damage caused by the monster attack will be covered by our company since it was on its way towards our headquarters it is our responsibility to clean up this mess.”
“What a selfless act by your CEO. I know companies that would not have done this or even thought about the possibility. Next question, what is your opinion on the masked vigilante that calls himself Kamen Rider Alchemy? He stopped the monster before it could reach your company.”
“While we are thankful for his help, we, however, think that any vigilante is acting against the law, so he should confess to the police and ask to help them in the case. If we let comen people take the law into their own hands, we will arrive at an age of …”
A massive explosion could be heard in the background, both the reporter and the security-chef looking in one direction, shock spreading on both their faces. Then a crackling voice could be heard booming from offscreen: ”Yes, fear for your lives, run before the new god of this world! To prove this, I will break down this castle of oppression!”
Nearly all color had leafed Phoenixes face. Before he could see any more, he rushed into the kitchen, nearly knocking Summer on the ground.
“Hey. Watch out.” He just ignored her and dashed through the back door. Once outside the building, he sprinted towards his bike only to stop a meter in front of it. He reached into his pocket and took out the Alchemy Driver, subsequently placing it in front of his waist. The metal strap, again, expanded from the driver and pulled tight around him. The next thing he did was take out the fire disc and place it on the pole in front of the driver.
\ MAGIC DISC DETECTED! /
At that moment Summer opened the back door to look for Phoenix, who in turn didn’t notice that the door he, moments ago, just stormed through had opened again, proceded with his transformation.
“Henshin!”
\ FLAME DISC ACTIVATED! /
With this the flaming whirlwind formed around him again, devouring his body. Seconds later the gold and red armor of Alchemy Flame Mode had formed around him.
“What? You are … How can you … I can’t believe it!” Summer shouted from the depths of her lungs, the most confused she had ever been.
At this moment Phoenix blood froze, he had forgotten that she could simply follow him. He had just revealed his secret identity to someone he didn’t even know for more than a day. And with that, he turned around to face the waitress. “Well, shot. That wasn’t planned.”
“You are Alchemy? This … I can’t believe it. So that was what you did yesterday. How did you get this power? Do you have superpowers besides the armor? How long are you Alchemy? Tell me everything!”
“I don’t have time for this right now, please I will explain everything to you, but I have to deal with the hothead from yesterday first. So please go back to work, when I’m back, we can talk but not now.” And with that, he jumped onto his bike, which turned into its Alchemy form again and drove towards Change Industries. All the way mentally kicking himself in the ass for being too careless.
Summer was left standing there, mouth hanging wide open, still shocked by what she had just witnessed. The brother of the boss was that vigilante Kamen Rider Alchemy. What was she supposed to do now? Go to the police, ask Thunder or just forget she ever saw something? After another minute she decided to hear his side of the story first before making any premature decisions she would regret later. For now, she would just continue working and wait for him to return, even if the lust for answers nearly consumed her.
>-------<A>-------<
At the Change Industries building utter chaos was spreading. People were running for their lives, some without really thinking about the consequences of even trying to hide inside the headquarters of the company. The reporter had as well moved inside the building, trying to, against better judgment, get more material off the monster by dragging her cameraman along. Pharynx had managed to gather some of his personal together to stand up against the beast. The five-man he had managed to get hold of were desperately firing at Napalm trying to hinder him from entering the lobby. The bullets, unsurprisingly, doing no damage to the beast, which in turn retaliated with a barrage of fireballs.
During the ensuing chaos, a little girl had stumbled into the situation and hide behind a mailbox, crying for her mother. Since she was so close to the monster and its attacks, it was only a matter of when she would be hit in the crossfire. Then suddenly a teenage girl, that had until now observed the situation from a safe distance, had begun rushing towards the girl. Thankfully the red and yellow-haired girl didn’t draw the beats attention, thanks to the attacks of the Change Industrie security forces.
Reaching the child, she tried to comfort her: “Hey little girl, are you ok?” The girl, apparently too terrified by the whole situation, not answering. “There is no reason to be afraid, I’m Sunset Shimmer, what is your name?”
This managed to get through to the girl, which in turn responded, still crying. “My … my name is … is Sunflower. Do you know where … where my mom is?”
Sunset began to smile. “I’m sure she is somewhere in the area and looking for you. I can bring you to a safer place, and we can look for your mother together. How does that sound?”
Sunflower, wiping her tears away, noded. “Good … Thank you.” And with that, she picked up the girl and started to run as far away from the monster as possible.
Unfortunately, Napalm had seen the two and began growling. “So there was this horrible noise coming from. Something like this sound is unbecoming for the ears of a god. Burn in the fires of hell you brat!” And with that, he readied his hand for a shot at the two girls.
“Hey, kitty, wrong target!” As the beast interrupted his attack and started to turn his head towards the origin of the voice, its face made contact with the wheel of a bike. The weight and velocity of the bike were enough to knock the monster off his feet. With a screeching sound, the bike came to hold and revealed that Alchemy had arrived.
“You again! This time I will end you!” Napalm had already begun to rise to his feet. His eyes burning with pure hatred for the rider.
“You are welcome to try, but I’m not sure if you possess the necessary skills to put me out. But you have certainly sparked my interests.” He had dismounted his bike and removed his fire disc from the Alchemy Driver. The disc started to glow.
\ Flame Disc Attack Mode! /
\ Flame Saber! /
After the glow had subsided, the rider was holding a razor-sharp katana in his hand. The blade was forged out of an orange metal with golden patterns resembling flames worked into it, while the handguard had taken the form of the disc. The handle of the sword was wrapped in red cloth bands. Gripping the handle with both hands, he charged towards the raging monster.
Napalm retaliated with throwing three of his usual fireballs. Alchemy, in turn, slashing at the first, causing it to explode upon impact with his sword. The second fireball suffered the same fate. One last strike from the flame saber cut the last one clean in half, both halves exploding behind him.
Having already closed the distance between himself and the monster he once again swung the sword, this time hitting his opponent, sparks spewing of where the blade hat hit him.
“Ahhh! This… this can’t be true! What foul tricks are you using? I’m invincible. Invincible!”
“Oh its simple, I just got an edge over you!”
Napalm snapped, this was enough he would not be humiliated by this clown. “Argh! Die! Die! Die!”He unleashed a barrage of blows on Alchemy who in turn blocked every single blow with the Flame Saber. The last hit pushing him several feet away, but unable to break his block.
“I think its time to give you back some of your own medicine!” He placed his hand on the handguard and started to spin it, the blade beginning to glow with immense energy. “Flaming Slash!” Alchemy then swung the sword diagonally, sending a wave of flaming energy direct at his opponent. Napalm still raging because of his opponent charging headfirst into the attack. As the wave connected a massive explosion consumed Napalm, after the impact the monster could be seen falling to his knees, unable to move, clearly exhausted.
“How? I … I’m a god. I can’t be beaten! I can’t!”
“Napalm, you have used the power you were given to harm innocent people, destroy what others hold dear and glorify yourself as a god. By the magic that was bestowed upon me, I deem you unworthy of your powers and will now take them from you!” He grabbed the handguard of the Flame Saber, which in turn began to glow again. Holding the flame disc again in his hands he put it back in the driver and started to spin it again.
\ Flame Disc Maximum Power! /
The magic of the disk began to gather in his right leg. Alchemy jumped into the air, adjusting his position in midair till his stretched out right foot was facing the monster. He started to spin creating a flaming whirlwind while rotating. And with this, he began to speed towards Napalm, speed growing the closer he got.
“Flaming Whirlwind Kick!”
As the attack connected a massive explosion engulfed the monster, Alchemy coming to a screeching hold several feet behind the beast, or what had formerly been the beast. A young boy with grey skin and a red mohawk now laying in his place. Next, to him, a strange lighter could be seen, it had the form of a flame and had red-orange colors with the motive of a lion engraved in its front. Phoenix stepped closer towards the strange lighter, his flame disc reacting to the unknown object.
“Seems you were no match for me.”
The next thing he did was remove the fire disc from his driver and pointing it at the lighter. From it, energy flowed into the magic disc. A few moments later the lighter had changed forms, now a standard silver like any other. It was early silent when the Rider walked back to his bike, mounting it and speeding away.
>-------<A>-------<
After he returned from his excursion, Phoenix was assaulted by Summer and a barrage of questions regarding Kamen Rider Alchemy, thankfully Thunder managed to delay the inevasible till the restaurant had closed shop for the day. As soon as the last customer had left the “Magnum Opus” Summer had rushed both brothers up into there living space, unable to hold any of her questions for much longer.
“Answers! I need them! Now! Tell me everything.” She finally released the barrage of questions, visibly exhausted from being denied solid answers for so long.
“You don’t mind if I take care of the explaining, Phoenix might forget important details and or just answer incomprehensible.”
“Hey, that is not true!” Thunder raising an eyebrow was seemingly enough for his brother to admit: “Ok, maybe it’s better if you explain it. Was never that interested in it, to begin with.” With that, he stretched himself, apparently to hide his frown from the both of them.
“Oh, but you seemed to have so much fun with it.”
“Hey, that is something tangible, I can actually do stuff with the armor, not just play the egghead.” He defensively returned.
“As much as you bickering amuses me, answers! Now! Please?” Their eyes shifted to the blue-haired woman, her inpatient look bringing them back to the subject at hand.
“Fine, fine, I think you have waited long enough. But where to begin? Oh, I know, ever heard of the theory that there are more universes out there then just ours?” She nodded. “Well, that theory is true. At least for one, but bear with me this will sound crazy, Equestria, a world populated by talking ponies.”
The look of utter confusion spread on Summers' face, trying to grasp what she just heard. “Ponys? A world populated by ponies? Ok, now I know you're messing with me.”
“As much as I would say the same in your situation, no I’m telling the truth. It is a land of magic, monsters, talking ponies, unicorns, and pegasi. Our ancestor, a unicorn by the name Fools Gold, created the Magic Discs and the Alchemy Driver to create a Philosopher Stone by combining the five fundamental elements of magic. A Philosopher Stone supposedly can transmute every material into another one, can grant eternal life and many other things. He used the discs as storage devices for the elements and the driver as the focal point to concentrate them to create the stone.”
“Wait, wait, time out! You are ponies?!”
“No, our ancestor was a pony, however, the rest of our family, besides his wife and his children, are descendants of humans. We are more part human then we are pony, and since he lived over six hundred years ago, even these parts are so diluted that they are minuscule.” Thunder explained to her.
“So, no ponies? God, this is confusing. But if he was from this pony world how did you end up here?”
“Well before he could test his creation, Shadow Gold, his research partner, tried to claim the driver for himself to rule Equestria. Fools Gold used the magic discs to create a portal to this world and fleed with his wife and children. Shadow could not follow, and since he was unable to recreate the discs, he could not continue his quest for world domination.”
“Sounds like a villain from a comic book. So he fleed with that thing,” she pointed at the Alchemy Driver.“ and these discs and your family had them ever since?”
“Na, the driver yes, but the discs were destroyed, these are recreations. Fools tried to create a philosopher stone here, but only managed to blow himself up. The discs were destroyed, and our family decided that recreating them would be our goal in life. Believe me; it’s a pain in the but.” Phoenix had interrupted their conversation, arms crossed and with a look of annoyance on his face.
“And again, you leave out important details. The day our ancestor decided to turn his theory into reality, he closed himself off from everyone and apparently put the discs into the driver. Then a big explosion and release of magical energy ravaged his body. As his wife came to him he was already dead; the magic discs were broken, only the Alchemy Driver had survived the release of the magic. Thankfully he had taken about twenty additional discs with him, so we were able to rescue a bit of magical energy from the shards of the discs this day. Sadly not enough and so our family decided to travel the world and search for a way to recreate the discs. One interesting thing, however, two hundred years later someone stole twelve of our discs, which in turn only left us with eight. Phoenix holds six at the moment, one fire, he managed to restore yesterday, one water, one earth, one wind and one thunder disc. None of them, besides the fire disc, are in any condition to be functional. There is also one empty disc he is carrying around, just to be sure. We have long lost the way to recreate a blank disc, but with the lack of magic in this world it would be near impossible to anyway.”
“So who stole the discs?”
“Beats me. Probably didn’t know what it was anyway.” The older brother replied.
“I wouldn’t say that. Nothing else was stolen besides the discs. The thief probably knew exactly what he was looking for. But we don’t know. The theft is a mystery to this day.”
“I see. Anyhow, why does Phoenix have the driver and the discs? He doesn’t strike me as the most, you know, reliable person.”
“What is that supposed to mean? I’m very reliable, thank you very much!” All he received were rather skeptical looks. “Fine, maybe not. It’s tradition in our family that the oldest son is entrusted with the driver and the discs to restore them too there true form, or some crap like that. Point being, Gramps was getting too old to travel the globe anymore, and I was next in line. So I’m now the so-called ‘guardian’ of them.”
“I knew you weren’t chosen for your talents!” The bluenette exclaimed.
“I pretended like I didn’t hear that.”
“Oh, I can repeat it if you want.” She replied with the most innocent of smiles.
“Summer would you please stop provoke my brother. Don’t you have more questions?”
“Oh shot, yes. What was that thing that attacked the city anyway? I have never seen something like that before.”
“We have no idea actually. Ok, that is not exactly true. After I pummeled him into the ground, it turned back into a boy. Next to him was a strange lighter, charged with magical energy, fire magic to be exact. I absorbed it with the disc. I assume he was turned into that monster because of it, at least that is the most likely explanation I can come up with, but that doesn’t say much.” Phoenix seemed rather thoughtful as he spoke.
“No, I think you are on to something here. He was probably transformed into that … that thing through the magical artifact. When you beat him down he apparently lost the strength necessary to hold onto this form. The question is only where did it come from?” Thunder agreed with his brother much to Phoenixes surprise.
“Wait, did you just agree with me? I think I have to mark this on my calendar. My idea was validated by Thunder Cloud, I’m shooked.” Phoenix replied to his brother, every word using sarcasm.
“You are welcome. Any other questions that demand an answer, Summer?” Thunder turned his attention towards her again.
“Well two, first; I assume Phoenix is going to continue playing hero, am I right? So he is probably going to leave us alone in the restaurant quite often, isn’t he?”
“Well the life of a hero is a hard one, we can’t decide when we have to work.” His answer only got him unanimous groaning.
“I take this as a yes. Probably the best answer I will get from him anyway. Second question; Why Kamen Rider? I never heard the word Kamen before, what does it mean?”
“I don’t know. It was the name Gramps drilled into me to no end. Just seemed right to use it.” He tried to answer her question.
“It means masked. The word belongs to an ancient equestrian civilization. Fools Gold found the plans to the driver inside one of their ruins. Apparently, they had used the drivers for their warriors. They called them Kamen Riders. He thought continuing to use the name would be a sign of appreciation for their part in his research. So were that all of your questions, or have more pilled up?”
“Nope. I’m golden. Still, all this sounds so weird. I don’t know if you are messing with me or if you are sincere.”
“Believe what you want, we gave you the answers you wanted. But now it’s our time to ask you something.” With that, she looked over to Phoenix, somewhat surprised. “Please don’t tell anyone about this. I don’t want the police trying to arrest me because I play the hero. And I don’t want someone to target people around me to get to me. It makes things so much easier if no one knows.”
“If you want no one to know you really should work on hiding your secret identity, you are awful at keeping it.” She snarkily replied.
“Dolly noted.”
“And no need to worry, I think your secret is safer with me than with you. I will not tell anyone about this. So if someone finds out who you are, it’s probably on you.” She smugly grinned.
“Thank you, and I thought I had to beg, so you don’t tell it. That makes things easier.”
“Wait, wait, beg? Dammit, I gave in too early, can I see that anyway? Please?”
“Nope.”
“Well anyway. It’s good to have you onboard. I don’t think I could have handled him alone without going insane.” Thunder interrupted the two.
“Oh come on, why am I always on the receiving end of these jokes?” Phoenix had slammed his hands over his head in annoyance.
“Simple, you have the most delightful responses to it.” His brother teased him further. Summer began to laugh, slowly after that Thunder joined in. It took Phoenix some seconds, but ultimately he also started to laugh. At least it wouldn't get dull with these two around.
>-------<A>-------<
Night had set over Canterlot City, most people felled more comfortable in their homes after the recent monster attack. The only people that still choose to leave the save walls of their houses had either something essential to do, hadn’t a place to stay, were of the shady variety or in one particular case all of the above.
A figure stood over a beaten and bruised man, blood beginning to pour out of wounds all over his body. The back-alley around them was completely trashed. Trashcans lay around; some just knocked over some dented like a truck had hit them. Scorch marks could be seen all over the alley, some of them did somewhat look like slashes from a blade while others looked more like claw marks. The figure slit something into his pocket and readied himself to leave until something called out for him.
“You imbecile, why did you need to make such a scene. You are going to draw the attention of the police on us. Next time I expected more professionalist mindset from you, not that of a sword-wielding idiot.” A voice, apparently coming out of nowhere spoke to the man.
“I’m sorry master, but he left me without any options. I asked him to give over the key, but he refused, and after that, he was beyond reasoning. I had to act quickly, or we would have drawn even more attention.”
“Fool. You didn't intimidate him enough, he saw you as weak. Be happy that your little exercise didn’t alert any police or worse Alchemy.”
“With all due respect, I can dell with this amateur, if this is what you wish me to do master.”
“No, you will not! Alchemy belongs to me, I want to fell the satisfaction when I ultimately crush him beneath my heels, and you will not take this away from me with your constant screw-ups.”
“As you wish my master.” The figure started to bow, even if there was no one beside him and the beaten man in the alley.
“Good. Now continue. I don’t want my servant to be caught next to a dead body.” The voice spoke a final time until the alley once again was dead silent.
With that, the figure left the alley. The light of streetlamp shined on him as he stepped out of the shadows. A man in his early twenties could be seen, his skin and black hair with red stripes in it now clearly visible. He wore a brown leather jacket with a white t-shirt underneath. A purple gem necklace was hanging around his neck. He looked around once to make sure no one saw him and started to move away from the crime scene. “Well, well, it seems things are starting to get interesting.”
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I haven't read it yet, but I do know that Kamen Rider was one of the original Power Rangers, wasn't he? Or it, since I think it was a tv show?
Something like that. Kamen Rider is a Japanese TV-show that first aired in 1971 and is still going strong. It's made by the same company that makes Super Sentai, the show Power Rangers gets its footage from. Same genre but different shows.
Come to think of it, was this story inspired by Fullmetal Alchemist?
8867005
No, it was not. I have never watched the show, so any simularitys are by acidant.
Brilliant LOL
8937235
Thanks, well I'm glad my attempts at humor actually work
...I'm a tad bit confused as to what the aesthetics of Kamen Rider Alchemy, could you shine some light on this inquiry?
P.S. I like the story so far!
9059933
Funny thing is, I recently commissioned an artist to draw an actual image of the Rider for a new cover for the story and probably will revisit the description again when I have the image in front of me so it might work better.
But for now, I think the closed you could get is a mixture between Kuuga and W. Kuuga Rising Titan as an example how the golden ornaments look on the armor (more or less), and W from the general texture of the armor. The horns look similar to Gaim Kadchidoki-Arms's horns and the small cape he wears similar to Kamen rider Hearth. And shoulders and horns change aesthetic depending on the form he uses.
I hope I could answer your question and I'm very glad you enjoy the story so far.
Second chapter done.
Still pretty hard to read due to typos and comma splices. Dialogue reads... Very anime. Not very well translated one, but I can imagine these lines in some 70s Sentai, or low-budget 90s cartoon.
Though I must admit, I am absolutely not a fan of colored text.
The inclusion of Sunset tho... That was really pointless and artificial.
Nitpicks: Why did you change the spelling of "Alchemy" half-way through the chapter? Its weird. Also, Elements of Magic (a.k.a Friendship) are, obviously, Laughter, Kindness, Generosity, Loyalty and Honestly. Not Fire.
Wow, you have weird expectations for what its like to transform.
Yep, definitely Firebrand with a god complex.
Well gee, its a good thing you won't be doing anything that would require physical fitness like fighting monsters... oh wait!
Hey Pharynx.
Also calling it, Villain, she is way too nice to be a CEO.
You know I'd make another plot convenience news joke, but they did already know the monster is attacking there so, you win this one plot convenience news.
Another superhero's identity accidentally revealed by not paying attention to who was around them.
Yay, Sunset Shimmer!
Okay, this is not snark, its more of a nitpick. Why do you call it a Katana when the attack is called Flame Saber? They're two different types of swords.
Right, you and Boris, and that went real well for him.
42! The Kool-Aid Man is Red!
Okay, points for giving him an alchemy related name, especially if you meant Fool's Gold.
Darn it Summer, making snarky jokes is my job, you're ruining the whole system!
So, uh, question, what did these ancient equestrian warriors ride on? I mean if they were ponies they couldn't ride horses... or do you explain this later?
That's why you need to make sure you read your contract carefully Phoenix, you might wind up being the butt of everyone's jokes.
Still going strong, but this fic needs a lot of editing to fix some of the spelling and word problems.
9200164
Marcosatsu, is that you?
Best bughorse!
Best pone turned human.
Spin sword, activate!~
WHIRLWIND KITA!!!!!!!!
Strikes a pose, points thumb down "Saa, jigoku o tanoshimina."
A two-fer!
Okay, early chapters need a bit of cleaning up here and there but so far... so good. Yusuke approves.
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