Ponies Go Paintballing
Chapter 1: Team Objective
By Trials
“Move, my little ponies, move!” Twilight Sparkle yelled over the shrill whistle. Following their orders, Fluttershy and Applejack leapt into action, both moving in different directions. Their leader, Twilight, placed her semi-automatic paint rifle on the small barricade next to her and began searching the battlefield for targets. She stayed close to the enemy's objective in hopes of defending it when and if the time arose.
The layout was simple; a bridge was situated in the middle of the map, giving both teams the ability to move between each side. Filled with barricades and walls, this bridge had plenty of cover, allowing easy access and limited failure. However, there were alternatives. On either side of the bridge were small walkways. Unpopular with many, these paths were highly risky to walk upon as they often made one an easy target. A tall, wooden tower was placed on one side, which acted perfectly as a sniper spot. It gave the defending side an unequal advantage over the attackers, allowing one defender to take crack shots at the enemy.
Almost as straightforward as the map, the objective was for the attackers to place a fake bomb in the defender's base. More specifically, it had to be set within the small hut just behind Twilight. The teams were equal; one pegasus, one unicorn and one normal pony were stationed on both sides. Team Red consisted of Fluttershy, Applejack and the unicorn herself. The enemy team, Team Blue, had Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie and Rarity. Everyone was allowed to use their given abilities. Safety was, of course, of greatest importance, so there were certain limits as to what powers each pony could use.
Rule one, for instance: no physical contact. That included bucking, head-butting, punching, tackling and even biting. The last one seemed a bit unnecessary to Twilight – anyone who could bite through the safety mask on their face and have the power to even touch the enemy deserved a medal. What troubled her more was the fact that this rule was actually in place.
“Red leader, red leader, are you receiving me? Over.”
The incoming voice of her squad member brought Twilight back to her senses. She tapped the button on the side of her mask to deliver her reply. “Fluttershy, I hear you loud and clear. What is it?”
“I see the enemy crossing the walkway on the left. Permission to shoot?”
“Granted, but be conservative. We only have a hundred shots per round, so take your time aiming.”
Given the new order to shoot, the frail pegasus looked through the scope of her sniper rifle resting on the tower's edge. She licked her lips nervously, knowing that the risk of getting shot was present. A luxurious, purple tail came into view once more. Fluttershy exhaled, preparing her lungs for the perfect shot.
“But daaarling, why can't I be leader?” Rarity spoke pleadingly, hoping to catch Dash's attention.
“For the last time, Rarity, I'm leader! I have better experience than you, and plus, I have these babies!” Rainbow Dash shook her cyan wings quickly to indicate her meaning.
“Well, that may be, but I have my -”
“I don't care, darling, I'm the leader of this platoon and that's final!” Rarity raised an eyebrow to this rebuttal and Dash gave a sigh of exasperation. They both continued their gallop through the woods, the pegasus holding the foam bomb in one hoof and a paintball gun in the other. The leader glanced back at her teammate momentarily to check if she was keeping up with her brisk pace.
A spatter of yellow landed on a nearby tree, only inches away from the unicorn's face. “Get in cover!” Dash yelled over the sound of the shot as it echoed across the battlefield. Rarity did as ordered, hiding behind a thin tree. As she looked around for her attacker, she noticed the small patches of yellow paint in her mane. With a cry of horror, the white pony dropped to the floor.
“Rainbow Dash, go on without me! I'm done for...” Her voice overly dramatic, the unicorn spoke quietly for effect. She raised a hoof above her head to add to the drama of the moment.
“Not yet, Rarity, that's only a splatter. When you're hit directly, you're out for go-”
Another ball whizzed past Dash's head mid sentence, promptly putting an end to her speech. The round landed on Rarity's mask with a small squishing noise. Her mask was now decorated with the colour of her attacker, Fluttershy. The leader groaned in annoyance as her teammate wiped her mask with a hoof.
“Of all the places she could've hit me, it had to be the face! Why, if I ever see that darling, little pony again, I'll wipe the floor with the ruffian! How dare she...”
Rainbow Dash zoned out, no longer listening to complaining unicorn as she walked off the battlefield. Instead, she focussed on the matter at hoof. She tapped the red button on the side of her helmet. “Pinkie, lay me down some cover on that tower!” Dash could only guess where her attacker was hiding. Judging on Fluttershy's usual cowardly behaviour, she was most likely as far away from the battlefield as possible, taking precise shots at all she could see.
“Okie dokie lokie!” Came the cheerful reply of the earth pony over the intercom. A burst of fire echoed around the field, resulting in the sounds of several paintballs hitting wood. Now was the perfect time to move. Taking to the air, Rainbow Dash scanned her surroundings. The objective wasn't far away – only a mere hundred metres or so. Pinkie Pie was just below her, slightly to the left. Suddenly, the mare began galloping across the bridge, utilizing the defensive barricades and walls while holding her two pistols in either hoof.
“Pinkie, slow down! They'll get you easily!” The leader called over the radio, her voice as commanding as possible. But to no avail; there was no response. Dash fired a couple of rounds in the general direction of Pinkie's destination in hopes of at least suppressing the enemy enough to let her ally slip by.
Pinkie Pie was like a lone wolf. A deadly hunter with no pack. She didn't need any order or command. She simply needed herself as the predator. Like a wolf's two sets of claws, she had her two pistols. Like a wolf, she stalked the battlefield - searching for prey to locate and end. There, on the other side of the bridge - Applejack. The pink pony pulled the pin from her flash grenade and threw it towards her prey. It landed with barely any noise.
She continued to gallop over the barricades and cover of the bridge before jumping high in the air, somersaulting and finally landing behind Applejack, her guns akimbo style - all before the flash bang went off. While she waited for her kill to recover for taunting, Pinkie Pie tried to think of some cool phrases she could say. How about "Freeze, motherfucker!" Nah, too cliché. It had to be something original and unusually frightening.
Applejack was just simply holding her neck of the woods when the flash consumed her vision. No one had came into view until the bright light blinded her fully. In a confused daze, the farm pony tried to wipe her eyes to recover. However, it was impossible due to the mask covering her entire face. Instead, she decided to lay low for a while until the effects of the flash bang subsided.
When Applejack could see again, it was by far not the best thing she had ever lay eyes on. A familiarly pink pony stood over the mare, her two pistols pointed directly at her head. The orange pony tried to raise her shotgun to shoot the enemy, but it was far too late. Her assailant simply kicked the weapon out of her reach and continued to stare down.
“You've got to ask yourself one question: 'Do I feel lucky?' Well, do ya, punk?” Pinkie Pie spoke in a confident tone, her intonation deadly serious. Applejack closed her eyes, hoping that a miracle would come and save her. Anything - just anything to save her from the world of shit she currently inhabited. She waited for the paint to splatter her head, but none came.
“Think again, bitch!” Fluttershy flew closer to Pinkie, taking careful aim with her sniper rifle. “You know... if that's okay with you...”
The following shot hit Pinkie's foreleg, forcing her to drop one of her prized guns in shock. As the earth pony turned to shoot her attacker with her remaining pistol, Fluttershy fired another round, hitting the other foreleg. She then proceeded to shoot Pinkie Pie on the plot for good measure. With a yelp of surprise, the party pony picked up her guns and scurried off the battlefield, rubbing her flank as she went.
“Well, thank y'all kindly, Fluttershy! I would've been a goner for sure.” Applejack stood up from the ground, picking up her paint shotgun. The yellow pegasus gave a nod of acknowledgement before a lone paintball hit her left wing. With a shriek of surprise, Fluttershy began circling in a downwards spiral, inevitably about to hit the cold earth beneath her flailing body.
“Red leader, red leader, I am going down, over. I repeat, I am going down in section two, alpha-” The pegasus landed graciously on the battlefield before walking off. Not so sure of herself, Fluttershy winced as the pain finally hit her. She kept her wings folded in an attempt to prevent further damage.
Applejack was completely confused. What did 'sekshun two alfer' even mean? She wore a puzzled expression as she tried to decipher Fluttershy's previous dramatics. When she realised her impending doom, however, it was too late to do a thing. The enemy was still present. A dark, looming shadow flew above her, stalking the poor farmer as if she were a mere plaything. She decided to run - to fall back to base, defend herself and the objective. The shadow, on the other hoof, had other ideas.
It closed in on its target, taking the fleeing pony by surprise. It then proceeded to grasp the defenceless enemy's helmet, replacing it with her own. The shadow then pointed its gun at Applejack, waiting for the opportune moment. No miracle to save her this time.
“Are you ready, Twi? Because I'm comin' to get you and win this game once and for all!” The squeaky voice of Rainbow Dash entered Twilight's ears through the intercom. How did she manage to speak over the radio? The microphones only enabled team chat – not enemy chat. Just then, she heard multiple shots fire. A familiar shout of pain echoed across the battlefield, sending shivers down the unicorn's spine. She saw her orange teammate limp off of the field, obviously hurt by the enemy.
No matter, Twilight had calculated the chances of Dash's victory, and rest assured, there was absolutely no possibility. The pegasus may have her flying abilities, but that was also her downfall. It meant that she was predictable – that she would most likely attack from above. While that may seem like the perfect attack for 1 on 1, Twilight had another trick up her sleeve: her magic.
“Twilight Spa-a-rkle... Come out, come out wherever you are...” Dash's voice was quiet as she mocked her through the use of the radio. “I promise not to shoot you too many times if you surrender...” She continued to speak in a sing-song tone, attempting to unhinge the lone defender. But Twilight remained firm, her paintgun held tightly in her strong hooves. She began to back away from her previous spot, instead choosing to move closer to the objective for more defence.
“Aha, got you now!” The enemy exclaimed happily as she came into view. She moved swiftly through the air, firing off several rounds in the direction of Twilight Sparkle. As she flew closer, she readied the fake bomb in her hoof. However, Twilight didn't run like the pegasus expected. She simply stood still as a purple glow enveloped the horn atop her head.
Suddenly, the same shade of purple consumed Dash herself. It stopped her momentum, bringing her to a stop in flight. She found that she couldn't move a muscle. Rather comically, her body remained still in the air as an easy target - one such target that Twilight didn't feel like missing. The unicorn aimed the paint rifle directly at the pegasus. Dash could only scream obscenities and curse words as she was held helplessly in the air.
“Rainbow Dash, do you surrender?” Twilight asked confidently with a smarmy smile. Under the circumstances, the victim couldn't answer. “Is that a 'no' I see?” The purple pony queried once more before laughing harshly. Again, Dash was unable to elicit any kind of response, let alone an indication.
Twilight closed her left eye and fired a single shot on her enemy's mask. It covered the entire area of it, splattering it with a deep purple. Now, Dash was unable to move and see. Before long, the unicorn ceased the spell, enabling her friend to fall softly to the ground. The enemy leader gave a groan of exasperation before allowing her head to drop to the soft earth below.
“Game over! And the winning team is... Red Team! Give it up for the Red Team, guys, you all did wonderfully!” The cheerful voice of the announcer echoed through the speakers, thus finishing round one of pony paintball. Twilight helped Dash to her feet and assisted in dusting off any ground or dirt residing on her fir. They both moved slowly off the battlefield onto the next game, allowing the stunned silence between them settle.
The thought that she was walking alongside the enemy never left Twilight's mind.
A/N: I know it's a silly idea and most likely not the first story of its kind, but what the hell - it's extremely fun to write. There will be three chapters of this, the next two coming out soon. Both of them will have other modes, so they'll be very different. Of course, paintball miniguns and paint grenade launchers will be coming with them.
Hell fucking yes.
moar
Dude, I found that great.
Oh, Rarity, I know that feeling, getting hit in the mask, but it's worse when a newbie gets to do it.
Rainbow Dash one does not simply go out like that when there are snipers on the field
And the "Freeze, motherfucker!" line was awesome I'll say on my next game
Nice
Fluttershy's moment with Pinkie was so hilarious to imagine
Ha! I am the sixth comment! Famously superior to the flimsy first!
Seriously though that was cool.
"Think again bitch!" was a personal highlight.
Keep up the good work mate, here's hoping we see Rarity going mental in the coming chapters.
All the best.
A silly idea, perhaps, but it's going to be fun. (Mental note: Add to the "Why didn't I think of this?" file.)
"...while friendship may be great, shooting someone in the face is a hell of a lot more fun."
TF2, anyone?
-
Good story; just this bugged me: “You've got to ask yourself one question: “Do I feel lucky?” Well, do ya, punk?”
You can't have quotes-in-quotes. Try these: ' and '.
this needs the feature box.
The round landed on Rarity's mask with a small squishing noise. Her mask was now decorated with the colour of her victim, Fluttershy.
i think that would be attacker
This pretty much sums it up :D
Very nice man, the sport of paintball is freaking awesome! The closest you can get to actual war without getting too bad hurt. I would have really have loved to have seen the opposite happen where Dash figures out that Twi would be expecting her to fly so she would sneak in on the ground and get Twi, her reaction would have been priceless. Looking forward to the next two chapters.
"Freeze Motherfucker!"
TOOOOOOOOOOOO MUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCH LOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL-
“Do I feel lucky?” Well, do ya, punk?”
i.imgur.com/IgpMS.gif
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAH
You are a genuis.
Twilight is OP.
966668 Try getting into a close-range dual and taking 50 shots to the mask. I walked off with a cracked lens... After my opponent and I ran out of paintballs. My face was bleeding, too.
I hope to see a mounted paintball-machinegun and a Pinkie Pie Innovations Patented Hose-based Paint "Flamethrower" (available in 15 different colors of fully biodegradable paints, of course!)
Also, Plot-Shot, OWCH.
Ugh, Pinkie, she didn't even use that Clint Eastwood line right. Great story though!
966490 That's what I hoped the reaction would be.
966537 There shall be moar - all in due time.
966668 Thanks for saying so. Yeah, I used that line when paintballing. It had to be included here, so that's the reason why.
966742 Thank you kindly.
966765 It was by far the most fun I've had writing - especially that moment, yes.
966813 Cheers, and I will. Well, hopefully. There will be the addition of big paintball weapons next time, so it'll be a lot more intense/amusing. And yes, Rarity will get very pissy next time - my treat.
966915 Ah, cheers, dude. Just going to go fix that.
966983 Nah, it's okay. As long as some people enjoy this, it's cool with me. Here's hoping for next time, though.
970506
You are a gentleman and a scholar mate :)
967072 Yep, I'll just go fix that. Thanks for pointing that out.
967149 Thank you - I hope you liked it.
967242 Yep, I'm beginning work on them now, so the story will most likely be finished by the end of next week.
967593 I know - paintballing is great as a sport. Partly why I chose it, because it would be interesting to mix pony with paintball. I was originally going to put that idea into the story, but I couldn't think of any funny lines to go with it...
967813 I try. There will be more funny one-liners to come, don't worry.
969184 She is indeed. A valuable asset if I do say so myself...
970082 Hmm, I could implement that 'paint thrower' into the next chapters... Indeed, right in the booty.
970197 Why, what's wrong with it? Thanks for saying so, but slightly confused...
970648
I am happy my semi-legal paint-based weaponry pleases your artistic mind.
Also, paint-soaked Nerf swords work just like the real thing, but in Paintball.
...
As you might have guessed, I never play in actual tournaments, just with friends.
970656 It does indeed please my 'artistic' mind. That idea works too, but definitely too intense for second chapter; the weapons have to grow in size, and a paint-soaked nerf sword is just TOO big. Definitely in the last chapter, though. Yeah, me too. I'm just not pro enough to play in tournaments...
970565 I do try. I was originally going to have that as a recurring theme anyway, but I'll make sure to intensify it.
970680
What do you mean? Me and frends opnly use Nerf because they're relatively cheap, so if they break we don't care as much.
As for too big, there are swords about as long as a pony's forearm. More like a dagger, but just as effective in point-blank range.
War to the knife, anypony?
And I think a few of the other should get dragged in, "calling fro reinforcements" and all.
Or at least, we should get mention of other teams, like Lyra, Octavia, and Vinyl Scratch, Octavia as leader (and carrier of the coveted balloon shooter. That should be read as "Paint-Filled long-range anti-everything Rocket Launcher, btw)
But I think pulling in say, Lyra and Bon-Bon onto Dash's team, with Octavia and Scratch on Twi's team, would make for slightly more difficult games...
969496 Dude, back on my birthday party I went paintballing with my team to a little tournament so as a "paintball tradition" it was me against them, that means, 1 against 11 so, I know that feeling I still have the scars from that. Well there were not 50 shots on the mask but there were alot more in all the body, neck, mask, arm, legs, even in the crotch, that one was extremly painful.
970760 I meant that it's possible to go in the story, but it's too intense (big) of a weapon to include in the second chapter. Seriously, if you jump too fast into the realms of inconceivability, the story becomes...well, inconceivable. It has to build up the ridiculousness, not just jump in willy nilly. Not to say that a story about ponies out paintballing isn't ridiculous enough already.
As for the other teams, I'm not so sure. I'd like to keep the story well controlled, not spaced out with other characters. The focus is on the mane 6 discovering the art of war, and I wouldn't like to overcomplicate the plot too much. Just a simple story about our beloved ponies going paintballing. I could always do another chapter with more teams, but I'm going to focus on the two chapters I've designed first.
Yes, these weapon ideas are all good...They've been added to the plan, and will be written in shortly. I think that'll be enough though - unless I decide to write more chapters. I probably shall.
971280 I went with a bunch of mates for my birthday. That meant I spent most of the day getting shot up so badly it wasn't funny. My lip was split open after the first game! I had so many bruises after, I could play connect-the-dots! An entire day of being pelted with high-speed paintballs... And I'm planning to go again soon! This time, it's gonna be.... War.
970648 Well, in 'Dirty Harry, the film Clint said that, there was a shootout at a bank, and Clint had a revolver that fires six shots. When he confronts the last burglar, Clint asks the robber, "I know what you're thinkin', 'Did he fire six shots or only five?'" And he said he 'forgot' if he did. Then Clint say the 'Do ya feel lucky?" line.
Basically I was thinking Pinkie said that line because it sounded cool, regardless if she were under the right circumstances or not. But hey, it's not even a gripe, that's just my inner Clint Eastwood fangirl speaking.
971418 Yeah, getting shot is never funny but when you get to return "the favor" it's awesome. And being pelted with high-speed paintball guns it's never funny indeed.
"This time, it's gonna be.... War." That's the fucking attitude.
971440 Clint Eastwood is a legend, and I know that line was out of context and relativity, but it was just too epic to pass up. That was my only chance to be able to write that in a fic, so I took it.
Ah, I see, no worries. Still an awesome story. And by the looks of it it will be getting better.
At first I was like then I was and then I was like You have won the game sir. The game of win.
FS:"TIME TO CAP THIS BTCH.
That was pretty cool. It didn't blow me away with epicness but it's definitely a 10 out of 10 for creativity. +1 thumbs up.
FLUTTERAGE
Epic story! Can't wait to see the other battles.
972164 Damn it, I lost the game. Hijinks aside, thank you - I'm glad you enjoyed it.
972377 Indeed it was. And then she did.
973126 Don't worry if you're reading for epicness - the next chapters will contain more. Cheers, anyways.
974013 Yep, that won't be the only scene with the Flutterage. Thanks for saying so, and I will deliver...
971388
well, the "Other Teams" thing could simply be something like RD saying "We need to beat Octavia's team if we're going to want a rematch against Twilight's!"
Or something.
But having paint-soaked melee weapons is something I've always thought should be added. You could have assassins, for crying out loud!
969184 Really? How about paintballs that freeze you on the spot?
de_dust? Pleeeeaaaasssseeee?
986496 Perhaps. I shall consider it, bearing in mind I have no actual map thought out at present. By the way, your request will be completed within the next couple of weeks or so. I'm just a slow lazy writer, so forgive me.
986863 Forgive you? You're a monster! You cancelled Seinfeld, and caused 9/11!
Aw, who am I kidding, I forgive you. Come on, I've got some cocaine left over from 1989. (time travel, don't ask)
...
Take what you deserve. TAKE IT NOW!!
995973 Where can I pick it up?
996796
At 666 69th Street Brimstone, Hell
997900 I'll be there soon enough anyway...Meet you there.
998387
Well it IS my house after all.
Oh, right. Be there soon ~