An anthro take on the Rule 63 version of Twilight Sparkle, Dusk Shine, in an Equestria almost exactly as normal ... oh who am I kidding, it's a crack-verse with some serious social and political undertones. But this is mostly for the giggles, mates.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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The next chapter is going to cover Spine meeting Rarity, isn't it?
8949936
Shifty eyes
... Maybe?
I think the Cadance joke is starting to drag. Making her a yandere is fun for a one-shot but in a multi-parter like this it's awfully one note.
I think cadence Needs to get shining armor drunk and she has his way with them in his sleep and she gets pregnant from that and that’s why they get married in Make shining armor actually really upset about it but because he’s a good stallion he marries her to make an honest woman out of her Because he will take responsibility Because it’s the right thing to do
Boy, Dusk just can’t seem to catch a break from paperwork, can he? Almost makes me wonder if the Mayor is trying to foist some of her responsibilities off on Dusk Shine...
8950197 There's ... reasons that Cadence is so lovey-dovey that she has skipped creepy and gone straight into School Days territory.
The same reason that Celestia went a little crazy when she first became the Aspect of the Sun and went into year-round constant estrus.
It's going to be a plot point that when one becomes an Immortal being tied to a physical object or metaphysical concept, you literally embody that thing.
Without spoilering too much, Celestia tolerates Cadence's antics because she's been there, and knows just what it feels like to have your very being overwhelmed by the thing you represent.
For Celestia, it's light, warmth and hope ... except her people tend to go into a rutting phase during spring when the sunlight returns and the land starts to wake up from winter's dark, chill embrace, and Celestia is suffused with the sun's energy at all times, meaning that rather than a few months every year, it's every second, every day, forever. She managed to make peace with her situation and find a way to quietly handle the situation, but when she was younger, around Cadence's age, she didn't have the maturity or the willpower to deal with the situation, and that created a domino effect that is still haunting her and affecting Equestria to this day.
Cadence ... will tone down as the story progresses. But so long as she loves solely Shining Armor, that's the full force of the metaphysical concept of Love itself concentrated on a single target. As the characters adapt, explore and experience both joy and pain in the setting, everybody will grow and change, but I felt it important to bring to the fore that Cadence isn't just obsessed with Shining, she's literally laser-focused and unfortunately the poster-child for the whole Mares dominant/Stallions subservient problem that is gripping this version of Equestria.
8950321 I seriously considered that, but I'm just imagining the ramifications of the Personification of Love trapped in a loveless marriage with a Stallion who hates and resents her and a child who steals the affection of her beloved from Cadence and possibly also comes to hate and resent the Princess of Love. That would quickly take us into verrrrrrrrrrrrry dark territory that I'm not sure I want to write about.
8950800 Maaaaaaaaaaaaaaybe. Or maybe she's just delighted that years of unwarranted financial ball-busting is over and the Goddess herself is taking an interest in her plight. Or maybe there's other reasons I won't spoil here ...
8952104
If she’s laser focus on Soli him with that seem almost overwhelming like she smothering him when she also get extremely jealous of those near him even if they’re just friends maybe even eventually making them seeking other pony’s attention which also be possessive in away It just seems like so much attention can be offputting And clingy But hey it’s funny to read about
8952104
That sounds like a cool premise. The problem is that none of that is really foreshadowed in the story so far. You are writing a serial work with weeks or even months between character appearances. That means if a character is more complex than they seem you should probably hint at that way sooner than you might in a novel that is read in one sitting. My personal rule of thumb is that if you want readers to care about a character as a character and not a gag or plot device you should reveal a little depth sometime within the first three appearances. If a reader isn't invested at all in the character by then it doesn't matter how cool a reveal of their true nature is down the line. By then it's too late.
The other issue is that while farces and parodies have no need to follow real world logic they do need to follow a logic of their own. Characters can act as zany as the author wants as long as that zaniness is internally consistent.
Your comment reveals raise a ton of questions about Celestia's behavior. Celestia finds Equestria's cultural treatment of males abhorrent. Celestia knows that an alicorn just coming into their power can be overwhelmed by that power and act irrational as a result. Celestia has many regrets from her own ascension as a result. Celestia is Cadance's mentor and adoptive aunt. She is seeing Cadance behave in a manner that she detests and will almost certainly result in Cadance having many regrets of her own when her power stabilizes. Yet Celestia seems to be treating Cadance's behavior towards Shining as more of a game than anything else. Celestia's motives and her actions lack internal consistency even in a farce.
Pfft read this all night i love it XD my favorite is cadence actions and dusj dealing with this insanity heh though wait till it goes pure mad with pinkie i will be watching out for more XD
I know it's an AU and all, but with Spike gaining wings in the show itself, and the rather interesting metamorphosis that the molt is, are they going to carry over into your fic or not?