A Jedi Master and his loyal Clone troopers sucessfully escape Order 66 and the Empire. After jumping into the Unknown Regions, they discover their safe haven to live out their lives...Equestria. Set after Revenge of the Sith and the Clone Wars.
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It LIIVVVVVVVVVVES!
9212288
It does. More updates coming soon!
9212301
camo.derpicdn.net/8586e109a77aa5260430cde05a306f54d89b1856?url=http%3A%2F%2Fpinkie.mylittlefacewhen.com%2Fmedia%2Ff%2Fimg%2Fmlfw980_40462%252B-%252BSweetie_Belle%252Bbasket%252Bsoon.png ?
Thank you for making my day
9212361
Welcome.
*looks around and coughs* I got a bad feeling about this.
9212301
I hope so for your sake otherwise I'll have to provide some *pulls out and turns on electric cattle prod* motivation.
Bout time you updated BTW.
and so it begins with thunderous applause.
9212427
Meh.
Well this could be interesting/go to complete crap.
9212424
eh yo nice pic mate.
I see why I stopped reading this now, word of advice, either make longer chapters to fit the pacing and have them cover several days like you have set up. Or, slow. down. It's not unhealthy to give our Main Cast some downtime instead of going through Order 66, sending them to Equis, first contact, and setting up shop all within the first three chapters. Nor is it terrible to give some exposition about Equestrian happenings, or have a few chapters about various clones' thought process about 66.
10571828
I see. I understand the pacing is quick. I will work on it. Also, yeah, you raise good points.
10571940
Suggestion, when you're switching points of view in the story try to make some sort of division in that section of the story.
For example, a long black line indicating a transition from Twilight's point of view in Ponyville to Celestia's point of view in Canterlot. This acts as a visual indicator of perspective changes. Like so:
Twilight story
__________________________________________
Celestia story
Granted, it's not required per say, but it makes it a little easier for the reader to know that the story is changing perspectives or locations not directly involved or related to the previous part of the chapter.