Broken And Ashamed
Before sunset that day, after many, many hours of trotting through the woods without stopping, Applejack, who had been jointly leading the group alongside Fluttershy, lifted a foreleg to call for the group to stop. She turned to face everypony, looking just as tired and ready to drop as the rest of them. “We’ve only got another couple hours of sunlight, Y'all,” she said simply. “It’s gonna be too dark to travel safely soon. Let’s set up camp.”
“Oh, I thought you’d never ask!” Rarity let out an enormous and dramatic sigh of relief, slumping slightly before disdainfully shaking her hoof to dispel some dirt and mud that had gotten caked on it from the hours of walking. “All of this travel has just been a nightmare on my hooves!”
“It’s been bad on your mane, too.” Pinkie pointed out with a wink before merrily pronking by Rarity, humming cheerily to herself.
Rarity touched a hoof to her mane and cringed. “Oh, I do hope she was kidding. Do any of you know how hard it is to keep it looking like this?” she whined out before looking to Twilight, who was just behind her. Rainbow was even further back, looking a little better now that she’d been hiking for most of the day.
“I have a rough idea,” Twilight answered honestly with a smile. “ I read about mane styling and the processes behind it a few times since moving to Ponyville. For something as curly as yours, it’s pretty rough.”
“Especially without a good brush or comb,” Rarity snorted under her breath, looking spitefully at the dirt beneath her hooves before glancing past Twilight to Rainbow Dash. “Feeling better, Rainbow?”
“A little,” Rainbow answered simply. She sounded exhausted, and still not all there, but at least she spoke. “Being grounded like this has already gotten old, but hey… it’s not the worst thing I’ve been dealing with all walk.” her eyes darted to look at Twilight guiltily as she said this before locking onto the roots of a nearby tree.
Twilight couldn’t bring herself to look at Rainbow, sagging and sighing heavily. “I… I’m going to go gather some firewood,” she said simply, trotting away. Spike scampered up to her side, glancing over his shoulder at Rainbow.
“Pinkie, why doncha go with er?” Applejack chimed in, glancing at the pink mare in question.
“Okie dokie, loki!” Pinkie nodded and resumed her bouncing, now doing so next to Twilight as they departed into the woods. Applejack then turned her attention to Rarity.
“Alright, Rarity, get out the leaves and stuff ya gathered earlier for shelter. Ah can assemble something functional, ah’m sure.”
“What about me?” Rainbow asked, looking eager to do something productive. She glanced over at Twilight hopefully. The hope drained a little bit from her face when Twilight didn’t look back at her.
Applejack’s brow furrowed. “No offense, but yer still in pretty rotten shape there, Rainbow. Just lay down and try to rest, alright hun?” she offered tentatively, lowering her head a little.
Rainbow sagged but nodded. “Okay, okay… I guess it wouldn’t do for the actual Princess of the group to work herself half to death, would it?” she tried to joke, but the small laugh that slipped out of her was anything but mirthful. In fact, it almost sounded more like a whimper. Dejectedly, she settled down on the dirt and rested her chin on her forelegs, looking at a lone blade of grass that was just barely poking up out of the forest floor as if it were all that existed.
Fluttershy, upon seeing this, let her ears fall and her face to twist with a worried pout. Slowly, gingerly, she approached Rainbow’s side and settled down next to her. Rainbow shifted to look at Fluttershy, then resumed looking blankly at the ground, poking at it idly with a hoof. Fluttershy let her ears lift up a bit, trying to be optimistic. “Hey, Rainbow.” she began.
Rainbow merely hummed, remaining still and gloomy.
“You, um, feeling okay?”
“I feel like garbage,” Rainbow replied in a solemn deadpan before letting her hoof rest again. Fluttershy’s ears fell flat against the sides of her head.
“Oh… um… anything I can do to help?” she tried, putting on an encouraging smile.
“...I don’t know,” Rainbow buried her face into the crook of her foreleg, closing her eyes. “If you come up with any ideas, though, run them by me.”
Fluttershy’s smile vanished. She scooted a little closer to Rainbow, making contact and trying to share some body heat.
Applejack watched with her own look of sympathy before turning her attention to Rarity and nodding. While the two pegasi were talking, Rarity had gotten to work bringing out the supplies they were going to use for shelter. “Alright, let’s hop to it.”
Rainbow Dash opened her eyes with a gasp of shock. The air was bitterly cold, made even worse by a harsh gust that washed over the pegasus’ face. Blinking a few times, Rainbow managed to focus her vision ahead and take in her surroundings.
Ponyville… She was looking at Ponyville, illuminated by only the last faint wisps of orange light from the sunset.
Turning around, Rainbow confirmed that she was directly in front of the Golden Oaks Library. Home. The lights were all on, and she could hear the voices of many ponies conversing with each other over the upbeat music playing inside, muffled by the walls and closed windows. “What the…? How did I get here?” she mused to herself before reaching out and trying the door. It was cold out here; she could use some warmth.
The door was locked.
Baffled, she tried the handle again and again, it did not budge. Grunting with annoyance, she lifted a hoof and knocked hard on the door. “Hey! Could somepony let me in?” she called out.
The voices swiftly were silenced and the music faded as if somepony turned down the volume. After a few seconds, the door clicked and swung open just a few inches. A purple eye framed by lavender fur peeked through and narrowed with disgust. Rainbow flinched when she saw the bruising on the face when the door swung open a little bit more.
“Oh… it’s you.” Twilight said bitterly, looking Rainbow Dash up and down.
“I… hey, Twilight,” Rainbow tried to sound casual, but her words were hitching in her throat. “Uh… can I come in? I’m freezing my tail off out here.”
“No.” Twilight answered simply, the bruise on her face darkening a little.
Rainbow felt sweat starting to form on her brow. “I… T-twilight, come on. I live here,” she said in a shaking and pitiful voice. The bruise on Twilight’s face began to spread, covering more and more of her face.
“Do you, though? I was under the impression you were living in your own little world full of anger and hatred.” she snarled, the whites of her eyes gradually starting to turn red with irritation.
“I… I’m sor-”
“What was that?” Twilight snapped, stomping forward and shoving Rainbow Dash hard with a hoof, sending her toppling backward onto the soil. “You’re sorry? Oh, excuse me, I guess that just fixes everything, doesn’t it?!” the bruise was almost pitch black at its center, the darkening colors spreading well beyond Twilight’s neck and shoulders now. “Does an apology fix THIS?!” she gestured at the bruise, at her eyes which now stood-out against her blackening fur.
“Twilight…”
Twilight stomped a hoof by Rainbow’s head, silencing her. The grass around the hoof began to die. “Stop. Talking. I don’t want to hear it and I don’t want to see any more of you. Go ahead and leave. I’m sure somepony here will be dumb enough to have pity on you.” As she spoke, her words became more and more twisted, like she was slowly turning into some kind of monster.
Rainbow reacted by instinct, trying to shove the now-monster off of her so she could have some room to breath. Her hoof connected with its face… and became stuck, the bruise molding around it like tar. “Huh?!” she shouted, trying and failing to yank her hoof free.
The not-twilight monster grinned at her, it’s pupils dilating with delight. “Or you could give me a reason to return the favor… that works, too.” It reared back one of its forehooves, which was also pitch-black at this point and prepared to strike.
“PLEASE! STOP!” Rainbow cried, yanking again.
The hoof came down.
Rainbow Dash screamed.
Rainbow Dash’s eyes opened with a blood-curdling scream, cold sweat suddenly breaking out all over her body. Her eyes darted left and right as she scrambled to her hooves, ready to fight or flee at a moment’s notice. She caught sight of several pairs of eyes looking at her, the owners of said eyes holding mixed expressions ranging from frightened to worried.She was in the forest, still. It was night time now, the last traces of the sun being little more than a soft glow on the horizon. crickets were chirping in the distance and a bright campfire sat in the center of their little region. Her friends were all looking at her.
“Rainbow, are you okay?” Fluttershy asked, quickly moving up to her but stopping just out of reach of her forelegs. “You’ve been mumbling to yourself… we didn’t realize you were having a nightmare.”
Rainbow’s breathing slowly began to get under control. She sat down on her haunches, the shaking in her legs beginning to fade away. “Y-y-yeah, I’m…” she sharply sucked in a deep breath, then let it out. “I’m o-okay. J-just a bad dream, heh.”
“Just a bad dream?” Spike asked doubtfully, pointing at Rainbow. “Waking up like that made it look like a bit of an upgrade from just a bad dream.”
Rainbow shivered and looked away, biting her lower lip.
Twilight’s eyes narrowed a little and she, too, began to approach. Rainbow spotted her and, out of reflex, gasped and shuffled back, trying to snap her wings open to fly away, only for them to hold against her sides thanks to the bandages, drawing a hiss of pain out of her. Twilight stopped, her eyes losing their intensity. Slowly, carefully, she lowered herself down to her belly and held out a hoof.
“Hey, it’s just me,” she whispered softly, trying to smile.
Rainbow watched her intently, shaking horribly. “I… I know…” she managed to stutter out, trying and failing to relax.
Twilight lowered her hoof, her ears drooping and her eyes widening with realization. “It was me… wasn’t it? You had a nightmare about me.”
Rainbow could only give a small, meek nod before looking away.
“Oh, my gosh,” Fluttershy breathed before shooting over and wrapping Rainbow Dash up in a tight hug. Rainbow returned it gladly, hiding her face in Fluttershy’s shoulder and shaking somewhat. As they were doing this, Applejack slowly trotted up to Twilight’s side and nudged her in the ribs with an elbow.
“Twi, you need to sort this out,” she glowered quietly, looking into Twilight’s eyes disapprovingly. “The tension between you two isn’t gonna solve anypony’s problems. In fact, Ah think it’s only makin’ our situation worse.”
Twilight looked down and sighed dejectedly. “I… I know. I’m just…”
“We’re all upset, Twi,” Applejack remarked sternly. “But if RD is havin’ nightmares ‘cause of how upset she is, nightmares about you of all ponies than it’s too much.”
Twilight looked to Rainbow and Fluttershy again, the two talking to each other in hushed whispers, much like she and Applejack were doing right now. Fluttershy looked at Twilight almost accusingly before returning her attention to Rainbow Dash.
“Alright,” Twilight conceded, sagging in defeat. “But maybe it should wait a little bit. Until morning at the latest. She needs time to calm down and I need time to think.”
Applejack scrutinized Twilight carefully before nodding slowly. “Ah’ll hold you to that. If Ah find out that you and her didn’t get this sorted out, Ah won’t be so diplomatic next time.” she spelled out before looking to Rarity and Pinkie, who were both watching on almost helplessly. “Ah’m hungry. Whos up for some grub?”
“Oh! Me!” Pinkie announced, perking up a little bit and waving erratically. Rarity gave a dainty nod and small, clearly forced smile.
In general, Nopony voiced any disagreement. So with that, Applejack, with some help from Pinkie Pie, set about preparing something to eat out of what they had managed to scrounge up on the way to this point. Berries, nuts, fruits, some flowers, among other things. As they worked, Twilight settled back down on the opposite side of the fire from Rainbow and looked at her.
She looked so fragile, so frail, so… broken.
Broken and ashamed.
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Rainbow.....I'm conflicted. On the one hand, it's hard not to be sympathetic to her current state, but on the other, what she did was unforgivable.
8782830
From my perspective, it is forgivable, but not immediately so. it's something she's going to have to earn. Plus, saying 'I forgive you' isn't the same as saying 'what you did was right.' Forgiveness is letting go of a past wrong so that it can no longer poison us, not saying that the wrong is now right. And if trying (and failing) to punch an innocent mare is unforgivable, then how the heck has Luna been forgiven by anyone?
8782830
"Unforgivable" is a really strong word to use here, although I don't think anyone really uses it the way it ought to be used, so this might be a personal hang-up.
All the same, it's still a really strong word to use here. Should Rainbow Dash have done what she did? No. Is it her fault that it happened, and should she carry the blame for it? No, and no. Discord's tampering with her mental and emotional state must not be ignored, particularly since it was the catalyst for this whole adventure.
8782849
8782850
I suppose I'm having a hard time distinguishing between Discord's influence and Rainbow's lingering insecurities. His manipulation in this story is much more subtle than usual. I guess if Luna can be forgiven for her actions as Nightmare Moon, Rainbow would need a suitable repentance?
8782863
She needs to earn it. Discord's manipulation is in large part what's caused her insecurities, mind you. Until this story, she wasn't really worried about Starlight Glimmer or the timeline in any way, just happy to go about her day-to-day life. So yes, Rainbow is, to a large degree, at fault here, but any crime can be forgiven if enough can be done by the one who committed it to make up for their mistakes. Plus, Rainbow Dash is absolutely devastated with guilt right now, which in it's own right speaks volumes about her. Somepony who is unforgivable wouldn't be stewing in their own self-loathing right now; rather, they'd be laughing about their crime or not feel any guilt or remorse for it. it's the difference between kicking a dog and laughing because you thought it was funny how it cried out versus kicking a dog and apologizing profusely while offering it treats and belly rubs.
One's a good person, the other's an azzhole.
8782863
I'm definitely going to give Skij props for that: The Discord we see here is legitimately scary. Usually, he's scary just in the sense that he's got a lot of power and if he wants to do something, there's not much anyone can do to stop him. That's intimidating and challenging, sure, but it's not really scary.
But worming into your mind, making you doubt every little thing you think or do? Scare the balls off a brass monkey.
8782881
Wow. I didn't think he was really being that subtle. He was kinda upfront about it, but I'll take it.
8782830
No it was forgivable. Because of a Starlight Dash lost her parents. Some I don't think you have been through. She has had no therapy and Discord prey on a very legit concern of the timeline being altered again and losing her current family. Twilight still being so mad has gone too far st this point and both Fluttershy and AJ know it.
8782888
The ironic thing here is that can all be applied to Starlight too. 😈
This whole situation is similar to Starlight.
And despite what you may think, Rainbow losing her parents is just as much the other Twilight's fault too. She was just as much as distraction as Starlight was.
Remember, Rainbow lost her parents because she was distracted by both Starlight and Twilight. Not just the one. A strange alicorn that is not Celestia would actually be more distracting. ( Because at this time there was only supposed to be the one alicorn) Remember how Rainbow noticed she was an alicorn and was completely surprised by it. Only an idiot would put all the blame on old Starlight. Either they are both to blame or neither are.
You know, screw it. I'm going to say what I have been meaning to say for awhile now. In this case it's Rainbow's own fault she lost her parents. It's her own fault she was distracted. Starlight was in no way doing anything to purposely distact her so she would lose them. What she was doing was already stopped. Anything else is just circumstantial and bad luck. Let's say Starlight and Twilight were from that exact point in time and they distracted Rainbow, it would't be eithers fault, just like it is not their fault now. It's not Starlight's fault Rainbow can't mind her own business.
And the tension keeps growing. Nightmares and stress adding to the mix of emotional trauma. Nice chapter Tone. Can’t wait to see this heart to heart talk.
8784036
Indeed
8782882
It's not Discord directly that's subtle (because Celestia knows that Discord is anything but subtle), but rather, it's his effects on Rainbow Dash that are subtle. And they're subtle because you don't know where Discord's manipulation ends and where Rainbow Dash's insecurities begin.
8783927
Actually, Twilight isn't as at fault as Starlight. Yes, Twilight was part of the distraction. But it was Starlight who activated the spell to go back in time. Just because two people were found at the scene of the crime, it doesn't mean both people were the criminals.
Also, claiming the fault is Rainbow's is a fallacious argument. It's NOT her own fault for getting distracted, because children are easily distracted naturally.
That's just a blatant lie. Though it's true that her intent wasn't for someone to die, her intent was SPECIFICALLY to change the past. And even though she changed her mind, and even if nobody saw them in the past, their existence in the past DOES change the past. So there still would have been a reset because of their very existence in the past. Not many people realize that going back in time will create a new timeline, because of the fact that you exist in a past where you previously didn't exist in. Time travel without altering a timeline is impossible.
Once again, a fallacious argument. Even though what she went back in time to do was stopped, as I pointed out, she's still guilty of affecting the timeline. Whether or not she changed her mind is irrelevant to the fact that once she activated that spell, she was guilty. You can't change your mind about chopping down a tree when the tree is already falling over.
I will give that Rainbow did attack a version of Starlight that is a different Starlight than the one that distracted her as a kid. And that's where she went wrong. And there was a specific chain of events that made Starlight consider time travel in the first place (that being the Mane 6 ruining the idea of her ideal way of life). But to be fair, Rainbow doesn't know what that chain of events is. And it's natural to be afraid of the unknown.
8785773
Writing an essay, are we? :P
And then we'll be seeing Starlight.
then [could be Applejack accent, but it's dubious]
nopony
8782849, 8782850, and 8782888. Sorry you three, but I have to agree with 8782830 on this one. Namely because, if Starlight didn't stop her by lashing out defencively, I'm pretty sure if Rainbow caught her, she would have KILLED her. Or at least put her in very badly critical condition which she might not survive from, especially on the middle of a train far from any town and medical help for hours.
Rainbow was blind with rage, and over powered with a single thought. She even attacked Twilight, who it has been hinting at that she secretly loves and depends on very heavily, without a second thought. She lost all control, and the only thing that makes it even remotely 'Forgivable' is the fact that it seems like it was Discord's Spell that was never cured or removed, so Rainbow was not in control or at fault. However, if that wasn't the case, what rainbow did and could have end up doing, would be unforgivable as it could be argued to be attempted murder even.
Roll credits
8782850
When you agree and disagree at the same time, and there's no semilike button.
Apologies usually go a long way to fixing these sorts of issues...