Past Conditional: More Speedfics and Drabbles by Present Perfect

by PresentPerfect

Through a Mirror, Brightly

Through a Mirror, Brightly
by Present Perfect

Pinkie just barely kept herself from flinching as another clone burst like an overinflated balloon. Transforming into a shower of purple light, it sailed out the high window. She'd been doing her best to keep her eyes focused purely on the wall of drying paint, but it hadn't kept her from being aware of just what was going on around her.

It terrified her.

At any minute, the least mistake, the slightest motion, could spell her instant doom. Twilight would fire that spell at her, and she would be poofed into oblivion, doomed to spend the rest of her existence in the waters of the Mirror Pool. And that was even assuming she would retain her self. Had her duplicates had any awareness before they were dragged from those depths? She couldn't know, not before she found out first-hoof.

Not knowing was awful. This was Equestria; it was supposed to be a happy land filled with smiling ponies! Those smiles were something she brought about with her powers of laughter and joy! Yet right now, she couldn't even be sure she was actually who she thought she was. There were so many Pinkie Pies, or at least there had been, and the day's events were so jumbled up in her head that she couldn't keep them straight.

Well, it wasn't important. She just had to keep her anxiety in check. All that mattered was that she get this right, that she win this truly death-defying contest so she could stay here with her friends.

She was very aware now that the room she was in was nearly empty. Yet they hadn't called the game in her favor. Hazarding a glance to the side, she caught a flash of pink, of poofy magenta curls, and a blue eye watching her from the opposite side of the room. Just as quickly, that eye and her own refocused on the wall.

"Wow," said Fluttershy from up on the stage. "They're moving perfectly in sync! Twilight, how are we going to know which is the real Pinkie Pie?"

"We're down to just these two," said Twilight grimly. "One of 'em's gotta crack soon."

"I know!" cried Rainbow Dash, and Pinkie was startled by a sudden flash of blue and rainbow brilliance in front of her face. "Boogada-boogada-boogada!"

"Ah!" cried Pinkie, and an identical cry sounded from her left. She didn't jump, move, or look away from the paint, though.

"Geez," said Rainbow, her voice strained. "They even get scared the same! This is impossible!"

"And the paint's almost dry," Spike pointed out. "I mean, I could paint the wall again, but it's probably not gonna have the same effect."

Twilight let out a groan of frustration. "We don't have time for this! Rainbow Dash, move!"

And before Pinkie knew it, the form of her pegasus friend had vacated her sight, which was filled with a blinding violet light.

This is it, Pinkie told herself. Goodbye, friends. I'll never forget you, assuming I can even remember you were ever my friends.

But there was no poof, no sudden inflation, no sailing out the window and into eternity. The light faded in a trice, and Pinkie remained as she was.

"The spell didn't work!" Rarity cried, overjoyed. "She must be the real Pinkie Pie!"

Pinkie fell back onto her haunches, relief surging through her and washing the anxiety away. She was the real Pinkie after all? It was almost too silly to think that she had believed otherwise. All that moping and angst had been for nothing. She couldn't be happier. The strain of her mane as it poofed against her scalp was a testament to the joy bursting from her heart.

"Get the other'n!" shouted Applejack. Twilight fired a blast of magic at the second Pinkie, who leapt into the air and dodged it.

"Woop-woop-woop!" she cried, making a break for the door. Rainbow Dash swept after her, even as Twilight shouted her name. The clone led her out the door, then made for Manehattan and a life of undercover reporting.

Rainbow stopped in the doorway and floated back into the room slowly, arms crossed over her chest.

"Yeah, we all know I can't catch Pinkie when she doesn't want me to." She snorted and blew her forelock out of her face. "It's not like she's gonna show up in a few years to haunt us or anything."

Pinkie Pie -- the real Pinkie Pie -- leapt onto the stage and threw her arms around Twilight. Fluttershy and Rarity joined in, followed a moment later by Rainbow, AJ and even Spike.

"Oh, I'm so glad I'm real! I was so afraid I might never get to be friends with you girls again!"

"Of course you're our friend, Pinkie Pie!" Twilight cried, and the others chimed with words of affection and happiness.

"On reflection," Rarity mused, "it makes sense that the Pinkie Pie who was upset over losing her friends would be the real one after all. The others could barely remember our names!" She huffed. "'Shmarity' indeed!"

"What I don't get," said Twilight as the hug broke and they all took a step back, "is why the spell failed. I thought it was going to send anypony hit by it back to the Mirror Pool. I mean, I almost sent you to the pool!" She began hyperventilating, but Pinkie just patted her on the head.

"Oh, Twilight, don't you see? You had nothing to worry about!"

Her friends did that thing where they stared at her with expressions that demanded answers and dreaded what they might be.

"This is Equestria, after all!" She bounced high in the air and confetti exploded from the vicinity. "It's a land of sunshine and smiling ponies! Nothing bad ever happens here!"

"Nothin' bad?" asked Applejack. "Like Nightmare Moon?"

"Or the changeling invasion?" said Rainbow Dash, an eyebrow raised.

Fluttershy shuddered. "Or Discord?"

Pinkie shrugged and rolled her hoof. "Weeeeell, nothing so bad that it can't be fixed with the application of friendship and rainbow lasers, at least." She giggled. "It was silly of me to ever forget that, even for a second! I had nothing to worry about ever!"

Twilight sat down, looking pensively at the floor. "I still don't get it. The spell was very specific..."

"Which is why you got frustrated and used it on Pinkie without being sure, right?" Rainbow leered at Twilight, who shrank back from her.

"It's okay, Dashie!" Pinkie laid a placating hoof on Dash's arm. "Like I said, there was nothing to worry about! I wasn't gonna get sent to the Mirror Pool! And the clones that got sent back weren't real ponies to begin with! And Rarity isn't sleeping with Spike..."

Rarity's face turned beet red. "I beg your pardon?!"

"And Twilight isn't sleeping with Spike..."

Twilight turned more a shade of green. "What? No! He's like my brother!"

"And Rainbow Dash isn't sleeping with Spike..."

Rainbow scoffed. "I'm way out of his league!"

"And Applejack isn't sleeping with Spike..."

AJ mumbled something about that episode not having been aired yet.

"And Fluttershy--"

"We get it already!" shouted Spike, fat tears rolling down his fat cheeks. "Nopony's sleeping with Spike, that's enough!" And he waddled off like the fat, unlovable loser he was.

Pinkie smiled to herself at a job well done. "Yessirree bob, Equestria is a wonderful land where nothing bad ever happens. Ever."

And then a big rock fell out of the sky and everyone died.

THE END

Author's Note:

Wrote this after reading one too many stories in a row about Pinkie being sent back to the Mirror Pool. Though some aspects of Equestria are dark, it doesn't mean everything has to end that way.

Comments

[howard035]

I wonder how this episode would have played out if Maud had already moved to town.

[FanOfMostEverything]

I always figured that the spell would, at worst, send Pinkie back to the rock farm. She's not a Mirror Pool construct, ergo it shouldn't affect her the same way.

[PresentPerfect]

10063700
If you want to be weird and M-rated about it, it sends her back to her mom.

...Just think about it. <.<;

[Super Trampoline]

What are your favorite stories here that I should read?

[PresentPerfect]

10174695
They're not all lulzy, but Bitter Disappointment and everything after it. Essential Vitamins and Minerals is my absolute fav though. :D

[AJOKitty]

Pinkie really feels like she's drawing on her similarities with Chibi-Nora Valkyrie here.