Past Conditional: More Speedfics and Drabbles by Present Perfect

by PresentPerfect

Tartarus Control

Tartarus Control
by Present Perfect

"The very sight of place does me great ill, Star Swirl," Stygian said, his voice hushed.

Two immense wrought iron gates stood before them, twisted into a mosaic of foul bats and leering devils. In between the gates loomed a colossal black dog, its three heads watching them warily. Around it lay piles of bones, some coated in mold, others quite fresh. Jagged letters carved by bloody femurs into wooden signs warned the unwary to stay away, that the halls of Tartarus held only evil, and that certain doom awaited any pony foolish enough to enter.

Star Swirl the Bearded stroked the long, grey beard from which his title derived.

"I don't remember this being here."

---

"Oh, Star Swirl!" cried Stygian, hewing close to his erstwhile companion. "I fear if we travel much further into this pit, it shall surely swallow us up!"

The walls of Tartarus seemed alternately to weep, bleed and pulsate with malevolence. Scant natural light made its way into these depths, and what little lit their way was a pale, eerie red. Stalactites and stalagmites in the tunnel ahead of them provided the appearance of walking into a waiting, hungry mouth. The further they traveled into that gaping maw, the hotter it got, and the louder the screams became.

Star Swirl the Bearded, banisher twice over of the dread Pony of Shadows, frowned at a swath of demonic runes etched into the obsidian stone of the tunnel.

"Nope. Definitely would have remembered this one."

---

"Star Swirl!" gasped Stygian, reaching forth with a shaking hoof as he cowered behind a pillar of brimstone. "Watch out!"

An immense demon with red, smoking skin had grasped Star Swirl in its long, twisted claws, and was lifting him toward the ceiling to have a better look at him. The demon's visage was split by a grimace, the depths of which promised only pain and torment. It cackled in anticipation of a pony-sized snack and whispered in a voice no pony had heard in ages, its very words enough to drive stalwart beings mad in a heartbeat, telling Star Swirl of the horrors that awaited him and the other inmates of Tartarus.

Star Swirl the Bearded, bold Pillar of Equestrian Sorcery, author of over a hundred advanced and esoteric spells, a pony who knew at least as much about the very innermost workings of magic as he did about how to sew a bell on the hem of a robe in just the right way to make it pop, frowned at his would-be captor.

"Oh, this is just silly."

---

The cages and pits of Tartarus were silent. Their former captives had all been released, many of them with a good tongue-lashing and promises to never again do what they did to deserve this most horrific of fates. From the nuckelavee who had captured and drowned an entire town's population of children to the vile Ergomrax, Lord of Dark Despair, each and every demon who had spent the last eternity caged, tortured, or flayed apart only to be sewn back together again and again, was chastised and made to say sorry, then evicted at the point of a long, spiraling grey horn.

"Well, that should be the last of them," said Star Swirl, prodding Khul'Thuum, Devourer of Souls, in the rump with the aforementioned horn. The frog monster yiped and beat a hasty retreat out the exit. "Whoever came up with the idea of imprisoning monsters underground? Ponies these days, I swear."

"Um," said Stygian, who -- if his newly-whitened mane were any indicator -- had not quite recovered from the sight of Unknowable Vargthax the Unspeakable. "I believe there is one which we have overlooked, Star Swirl."

He pointed a shaky hoof to a dark corner of Tartarus, beyond the bubbling pits of tar and fire. No light shone upon whatever denizen called this oubliette home, yet there was just enough glow from the firelights for them to tell that something did indeed reside there.

Star Swirl grumbled, hitched his robe up, lit his horn, and marched on over to the cage.

"All right, you, name and crimes."

Chains clinked as the creature turned slowly to face them. It was gaunt and covered by a thin cloth. Beady black eyes squinted in the glare of the magical light, and four hooves shuffled away from him. When it spoke, its voice was reedy, almost pitiful.

"I answer to no pony!"

Star Swirl rolled his eyes. "Look, you stupid bastard, I'm letting you out of here. Now say you're sorry for whatever you've done, and we can get on with our lives." He harrumphed. "Honestly. In my time, we'd have just thrown you to the mercy of the sea or banished you to the airless void between Equus and the moon or something."

There was a long silence in which the creature did not speak. It was long enough that Stygian was beginning to forget the eldritch horrors that had passed before his eyes over the last hour.

"You want me to say I'm sorry?" asked the frail creatute.

"Yep," said Star Swirl. "Just apologize for whatever it is you did, and we can be done with this nonsense once and for all."

It cleared its throat and smiled, just a little evilly. "I am... sorry. For what I did."

Star Swirl smiled. "There's a good lad."

With one magical heave, he lifted the cage, crumpled it into a ball, and threw it into the bubbling lava. With a second spell, he broke the shackles and lifted them, chains and all, to join the cage. Then he stepped to the side and gave the last prisoner of Tartarus a telekinetic whack on the rump.

"Out you go, get along now! I'll have no more of this Tartarean balderdash!"

The creature gave but one glance behind himself before breaking into a run, cackling something about freedom at last.

When at last he had gone, Stygian approached Star Swirl, still cringing.

"Do you think perhaps we have loosed great evil upon the world once again?"

Star Swirl shrugged. "Nah." He leaned over and whispered conspiratorially, "Celly tells me she sends recidivists to that Twilight Twinkle pony to be dealt with nowadays. Excellent track record, by her word." He shivered. "Though a bit creepy, if you ask me. If anyone deserved to be chained in a hole in the ground and forgotten, it's that one."

He led the way out of the now completely empty Tartarus, whistling a jaunty tune. Stygian followed him, and together, they walked into a brave new world, where someone thought Lord Tirek getting another episode was a good idea.

The End

Author's Note:

Time to stop dwelling in the past, there's a bright, stupid glorious future ahead of us! >:V

Yeah, if you weren't aware, Tirek's supposed to be coming back in season 8. Or at least his VA is. I hope the latter does not necessitate the former, that sounds like a really bad idea. If you couldn't tell that was my opinion of the matter, of course.

Comments

[FanOfMostEverything]

We'll see what happens... though I do agree that Tirek coming back seems ill-advised.

[Icy Shake]

Yeah, that doesn't seem like the best idea.

[howard035]

8587472 It depends on how it's done. If Tirek just escapes a second time, or the characters go decide to let him out and reform him, that will be a terrible episode. But if it's the cast needing to consult him for some ancient knowledge in Tartarus, or perhaps tied to the return of Scorpan, it could make for a good story.