um....first, this needs an editor bad....lotsa bad grammar, and at least once you missed the S in Spike's name....also, he had 1 dick in chapter one, and in this one he has 2? Will he have 3 in the next?
8543181 Thanks for the reminder about the Spike without the S. Second, I make it Spike has 2 cock a bit late but if you read the first chapter, I mention that Twilight takes a bit longer to adjust her womb not because how big Spike's is but there are 2 cock inside her or it won't make her belly grow and her pussy overflow with his cum
8543244 except nothing was mentioned when she sucked it, and all that jazz...and no, no mention at all about the 2 during the entire scene, I just went back over it
8543330 It isn't even consistent in the same chapter! Earlier on we have this
Sweetie Belle looks at Spike’s cock grows
Note that there is 1.....and then suddenly, once he's done getting a BJ and it's time to fuck, suddenly a second one sprouts to rail them both at once.... If he had 2 it should have at least had both there for the BJ, then you could pass it off as dragons grow as many dicks as they have girls to fuck.... but as it is, the second one comes outta nowhere
“Right now, most mares are not up yet. As long as you can fly real fast, they won’t spot you,” said Twilight.
Okay the thing is you haven't describes spike at all yet, but based off of the wings I'm assuming he's had a growth spurt? Basically your ideas are good but besides incorrect tense/grammar you seem to have a habit of assuming your audience know what you're thinking (mentioned by the double penis not being stated but implied by other commenters) in order for us to get the best reading experience accurate to what you wish to portray you have to describe stuff in more detail. Especially when it comes to things not present in the show/if people are different from the show (i.e. sexual organs, if people are anthro, size comparison/wings addition o spike)
um....first, this needs an editor bad....lotsa bad grammar, and at least once you missed the S in Spike's name....also, he had 1 dick in chapter one, and in this one he has 2? Will he have 3 in the next?
8543181
Thanks for the reminder about the Spike without the S. Second, I make it Spike has 2 cock a bit late but if you read the first chapter, I mention that Twilight takes a bit longer to adjust her womb not because how big Spike's is but there are 2 cock inside her or it won't make her belly grow and her pussy overflow with his cum
8543244
except nothing was mentioned when she sucked it, and all that jazz...and no, no mention at all about the 2 during the entire scene, I just went back over it
8543319
you sure? Because based on Twilight's reaction, she is holding 2 cock inside her
8543330
5 mins of waiting does not a double cock make, it does mention it gets a bit bigger before he blows, but NOTHING about a second one
8543330
It isn't even consistent in the same chapter! Earlier on we have this
Note that there is 1.....and then suddenly, once he's done getting a BJ and it's time to fuck, suddenly a second one sprouts to rail them both at once.... If he had 2 it should have at least had both there for the BJ, then you could pass it off as dragons grow as many dicks as they have girls to fuck.... but as it is, the second one comes outta nowhere
8543410
*maybe i need to read more about spike's mating since i never had sex before
This fic has some potential, but those small inconsitincies are thrashing the suspension of disbelief, breaking us outta the immersion...
this is a good story but it has some major broken english
Oh Crap!! Spikes in trouble!!
I'm guessing Applejack and Apple Bloom or Rainbow Dash and Scootaloo next?
8545132
Hahaha nnope
8544416
Sensing future child support XD JK
8554288
You have no idea
Okay the thing is you haven't describes spike at all yet, but based off of the wings I'm assuming he's had a growth spurt?
Basically your ideas are good but besides incorrect tense/grammar you seem to have a habit of assuming your audience know what you're thinking (mentioned by the double penis not being stated but implied by other commenters) in order for us to get the best reading experience accurate to what you wish to portray you have to describe stuff in more detail. Especially when it comes to things not present in the show/if people are different from the show (i.e. sexual organs, if people are anthro, size comparison/wings addition o spike)
This was a cute and sexy threesome. I hope all the CMC have threesome with there sister's