The Diary of Discord Wimp

by ThePianoMan

Ponyville Uber Alles

“...animals are equal, but some…”
-George

The portable mopi box buzzed away with an anchor-dragon calmly and confidently reciting the teleprompted news.

“...small comic shop and local hangout was rewarded with new arcade machines by the Royal Sisters for their employees' groundbreaking contributions to a mathematics experiment in computer engineering. The Sisters joined the employees in their celebration of the new games debut. We got to see a little competition between the Royals as they went head to head in a few of the two player games. An interesting but welcome sight since their five month absence from the public eye.” The dragon straightened the papers in front of him. “In other news… We got a first look at some fire between the Mayoral candidates of Ponyville. Let’s take a look.” The shot of the anchor’s desk shifted to a scene of two earth ponies.

The one, a grayish amber with charcoal hair pounded his hooves. “You are the worst sort of politician. Dishonest, untrustworthy, and an absolute disgrace.”

Across from him, the pink mare whipped her white hair over her shoulder. “I expected such accusations from a speciesist pig who only cares about ponies and not the beautifully diverse creatures that make up our wonderful city. Your rhetoric and speech are dangerous, Filthy Rich.”

The stallion shot back. “Not as dangerous as your tax plan that will drive away businesses and with them, jobs. I care about this city. And that’s why I fight hard to bring back businesses both small and large to promote growth in work opportunities. If there’s ever a world where you’re in charge, with your policies-”

“You’d be in jail, for tax fraud.”
The dragon anchor returned to the screen. “And there you have it. What some call an explosive kick off to what’s sure to be an interesting campaign between local millionaire Filthy Rich and our city treasurer Honey B. Comb…”

“Miss Honey.”

The pink mare switched off the mopi next to the snow kissed lounge chair she was laid across at the edge of a heated pool. She turned her attention to the black dragon in the tuxedo. “Yes Obsidian? What is it?”

The dragon gestured to the mansion behind him. “Mister Rich is waiting inside.”

“Hm.” She tipped her sunglasses down while giving him a wry smile. “Send him out here, and after our meeting is done, maybe you’ll join me for some fun later.”

The tux clad dragon grinned before turning tail back to the house. Moments later Filthy Rich strolled out laughing.

“So this is your hard work you love to flaunt to the public?”

The mare hummed as she tossed her glasses by the mopi and stretched out. “Being a public servant is taxing. I need to be well charged to serve the people at full capacity. You would do well to try relaxing yourself. It does wonders. Maybe you wouldn’t have to dye your mane to keep your gold digging child of a wife happy with your appearance.”

He glared down at her. “Why did you call me here, Honeybee?”

She giggled stretching in such a manner that caused Rich to turn away. “What? Can’t we have a friendly heart to heart before we spend the rest of the year hating each other.”

“Hrm. The only hate is the hatred you hold for our city, its traditions, and it’s people. I want to preserve it and grant every pony, dragon, griffon, and every sort of being to have the privilege of calling it home.”

“Ugh.” Honeybee sighed. “You’ll never win them over. Everyone should feel comfortable wherever they live. You’re not a stallion of such progress.”

“Your idea of progress is silver tongueing the masses with empty promises of unearned rewards. I count on the citizens of this city to see past your mask of self righteousness.”

The mare giggled before sitting upright. “Let me tell you something, Rich. They’re all going to hate you. I’ll convince them of that. They’ll see you as the ignorant and uncultured greedy pig that I say you are. They don’t respect your money.”

“No,” Rich brushed off his jacket, “I don’t expect them too. I expect them to see that I’m not so easily bought like your followers. I campaign for the soul of this city and the future security of its inhabitants. They’ll see, and I’ll win for them.” Whipping away he exited through the mansion.

"Say hi to your future ex for me." Honeybee quietly laughed to herself. “No. You won’t win. Not with the tricks I have up my sleeve.” She sniffed the air. “So, are you the groundskeeper today, Gallop?”

The stallion stepped closer to the pool levitating a pole and net, scooping out leaves from the water. “Pool boy today ma’am. That’s a nice mopi you got there. See any news did you?”

She flicked the box back on turning the dial to a different frequency. “Yes, and that baking show you and I both watch. I was a little disappointed with how the souffle turned out.” Picking up a bell in her teeth she rang it, prompting the black dragon to return.

“Practice makes perfect. Baking is a science that takes time to master. I think I’ll soon have an advantage at making souffles with the new utensils I’ve acquired.”

“Just a moment.” Honeybee licked her teeth at the dragon. “Take care of my back won’t you? Obsidian, darling.” Humming as the dragon’s claws kneaded her back, her lips curled. “You were saying, pool boy?”

This Gallop continued his screening of the pool water. “I started watching this new show. A family sitcom. A griffon agent and his unsuspecting wife take in a father and son who happen to be friends with the Prince the griffon is trying to spy on.”

After a moan of relief, the mare opened her eyes. “I like the sound of this new program. It's a nice change from botched souffles. Something with plot, and humor. Much more interesting. I’m curious as to how it will end.”

Author's Note:

Comments

[Spiritofchaos227]

Yo look who's BACK!! I'm so happy to see this fic updated!!

I wonder how this'll fit into the plot as a whole. I bet one of those politicians is a Changling or something...

[Dracoa]

Great to see you back ~! This fic is one of my favorites look forward to some more of our protagonists and the great music !

[Spider-Mane Noir]

I was literally just thinking about this story. So glad its back!

[SpikeDark]

yes glad to see you back, love this story