Apropos of the Sinners

by SpitFlame

Part III – Chapter VIII – Please Don't Go

"What's wrong?" exclaimed Daisy, seeing Cluster rushing from the room.

"Daisy, she's having a baby!" said Cluster.

Daisy was stunned. "She is...? But—"

"I need a midwife. Some mare will do, or anypony. But who? Wait, that's right—I'll go get Sweet Scroll, I know her address. You should come with me, in case she needs convincing!"

Daisy still was not able to process all of Cluster's words, but that didn't matter. She quickly trotted behind, and they left the house. He was muttering something to himself, looking at the street signs, as if making calculations. He suddenly halted, declaring, "I remember this area. Sweet Scroll lives two blocks down, one to the left. Hold on." He ignited his horn and teleported the two of them. They reappeared in front of a distinct house; he checked the address number.

He began knocking almost violently on the front door, which served as the first of two doors, with a window to open. He did not have to knock long; surprisingly, Sweet Scroll instantly opened the window. She stared at him, wide-eyed, with obvious vexation.

"You?" she said. "Do you have any idea what time it is right now?"

"Listen, my girlfriend is giving birth!" said Cluster.

She cocked her head back. "How's that?" she asked.

"Giving birth, to a foal!" Daisy put in.

Sweet Scroll was even more surprised to spot Daisy by Cluster's side.

"You're... not mistaken?" she asked, staring at Cluster warily.

"Definitely not," said Cluster. "She's having spasms. I need your help—to deliver the foal."

She was pensively silent for a few seconds, but eventually it became too much for Cluster to bear.

"Remember when I saved you?" he said suddenly, passing into agitation. "You owe me, Sweet Scroll. Hurry, she's in labour. Just ask Daisy."

Daisy nodded rapidly at the mention of her name, in order add authenticity to Cluster's exclamations.

A whole fireworks of ideas flashed in Sweet Scroll's mind. Eventually her expression changed. She closed the window, then opened the door.

"Can't you come in the morning, when the sun's up? I have something else to do."

"How much do you get paid to be a midwife?" asked Cluster hastily. "How much per session?"

"Er, usually fifty bits an hour."

"I'll pay you four times that—two hundred bits an hour. I swear it on my life. Now come on!"

Sweet Scroll stared hard at the frenzied unicorn before her—how he was acting was completely unlike him. It was enough to genuinely concern her, despite the fact that she only met him once before. Looking searchingly into his eyes, she was entirely absorbed by the impression of the sudden new thought that had shone upon her.

"Alright," she said, grinning. "Take me there. I'll do what I can. But if you don't pay me what you promised—"

"You have my word!" And, horn lit, Cluster teleported them back to Daisy's house.

* * *

Indeed, the sight of Snowfall gave Sweet Scroll a new perspective. Tired as she was from toiling all night last night with another childbirth, she instantly resolved to lend her aid. Daisy was very pleased with her resolution. A hope was even born in Cluster. Sweet Scroll demanded a clean towel, a bucket of water, some gloves, among other things. They were all provided to her.

She did not permit Cluster to stay in the same room as them, and so Cluster was sticking about just outside, pacing back and forth. Sweet Scroll had hastily made the acquaintance of Snowfall, who found her in "a very bad state"—that is, angry, upset, and in the most fainthearted despair—and in some five minutes Sweet Scroll had decidedly gained the upper hand over all her objections.

"What's all this about a midwife?" Snowfall was saying after they had entered. "Stop, I don't need one."

"She's an expensive midwife, meaning she's a good one," Daisy reassured her. "You have to trust Cluster."

"It's not that... I don't want to be a burden..."

"Believe me, Cluster was going crazy over you," said Sweet Scroll with notes of irony in her voice. "I've done this plenty of times. I'm not forcing myself on anypony, I came solely for you. If I'm unnecessary in your opinion, then goodbye; only you're asking for trouble that could easily be avoided."

But Snowfall was so helpless, she was suffering so much, and, to tell you the truth, was so afraid of what lay ahead of her, that she dared not let go of the midwife. Sweet Scroll chuckled at this show of dependence, but nevertheless got to work. It finally reached a point where she told Daisy to leave. The pains were becoming worse. The curses and even profanities were becoming more violent.

"Maybe you could send me out," said Daisy, "in case you need something else."

Cluster resolved not to reply.

"I've seen these types of fathers before," they heard Sweet Scroll's voice. "They often lose their heads. But at least they—"

"Stop it, nopony say a word!" Snowfall was shouting. "I don't want it, I don't want it!"

"It's impossible not to say a word, or are you out of your mind? Just let me work."

Daisy was called back eventually, then Cluster, then he was made to leave. The whole thing was as if in chaos. Time seemed to freeze, even though the whole process took up well over four hours. Snowfall kept babbling incoherently about Cluster.

"Well, lady, you're hard to please," laughed Sweet Scroll. "One minute he has to stand facing the wall and not look at you, and the next he can't leave or you'll cry. Now, now, don't pout, I'm just laughing."

* * *

It was almost five o'clock. Daisy found Cluster pacing the living room from corner to corner, so distracted that he had even forgotten that the noise had ceased, yet he still waited for Sweet Scroll's word to come in.

"You know, Cluster, you're gonna have to eat something soon," said Daisy. "Do you need anything?"

Cluster came to himself and—strangely—began to speak far more calmly than he had been in the past several hours; he spoke with effort, but only for a moment, as if from some new idea that fascinated him.

"There are seconds, they come only five or six at a time, and you suddenly feel the presence of eternal harmony. Celestia told me that. It's nothing special, but the feeling is clear and indisputable. You look up at the night sky and you're taken in by its infinite vastness, and it really puts things into perspective." A vaguely contemptuous grimace appeared on his face for a second. "We've developed as ponies."

He did not say anything else, much to Daisy's dismay.

* * *

The night was passing. Before Snowfall kept shouting, but she eventually turned very timid and obedient. If it hadn't been for Sweet Scroll, things would have been very bad. Gradually she gained complete control over her patient, who started obeying her every word, her every bark, like a child. Sweet Scroll used severity, not kindness, but her work was masterfully executed.

Dawn broke. A damp, cold morning came. Cluster leaned his face to the wall in the corner. He was afraid to think, yet his thought clung to everything that presented itself to his mind. Reveries incessantly carried him away, and incessantly snapped off like loose threads. At a certain point it wasn't groans that came from the room, but terrible, animalistic screaming. He was sweating, he wanted to stop his ears, but couldn't.

And then, finally, there came a new cry, at which Cluster gave a start. It was the cry of an infant, weak, wailing. He rushed into the room, alongside Daisy. In Sweet Scroll's hooves lay a small, red foal, crying and waving its tiny arms and legs, a terribly helpless being, like a speck of dust at the mercy of a storm. Snowfall was lying as if unconscious, but after a minute she opened her eyes and gave Cluster a timid, yearning look.

"It's a girl!" said Sweet Scroll, swaddling the foal.

For a moment, once she had swaddled her and before laying her across the bed between two pillows, she handed her to Cluster to hold in a blanket. Snowfall, as if she were afraid of Sweet Scroll, nodded to him. He understood at once and brought the foal over to her.

"So... pretty..." she whispered weakly, with a smile.

"Congratulations, Cluster!" said the triumphant Sweet Scroll, evidently pleased with herself. "You now have a daughter. Ha, ha, just look at their faces." In the meantime she was bustling about, tidying up, getting ready to leave.

"This is..." began Cluster, with a strangely blissful look, radiant after Snowfall's two words about the foal. Despite all that, it still looked like a gloomy shadow was covering his face.

"Cluster," she said dazedly, as if something were swaying in her head; tears began to emerge in her eyes. "I love you... I love you more than anything..."

Cluster wanted to say something, but it felt like his throat had become unbearably tight. He slowly, silently, gave the foal to Daisy, telling her to take it to another room. Sweet Scroll at first informed him of a few more things, stressing the importance of cleaning up, and began surveying Snowfall.

"I'll be in my room with her," said Daisy softly, holding the foal. She left, leaving Cluster alone in his room with Snowfall and Sweet Scroll.

Unfortunately, Snowfall had become even more thin, pale, and frail-looking than before. She was speaking, and even breathing, with extraordinary difficulty. The sheets below her were completely red. Cluster quickly grabbed a towel and began cleaning the blood, but after a few minutes she sluggishly held out her hoof, trembling.

The blood beneath her would not stop spreading, which altogether greatly worried Sweet Scroll.

"This doesn't look good," she said, and a second later raised her voice, "She's losing too much blood. The delivery was a success, but now... there's too much tissue scarring."

"Too much... what?" said Cluster, recollecting himself and fixing her with a wild stare.

"Here, you"— She passed him another towel —"keep cleaning the blood. I'm going to get a doctor! Hey, Daisy!" she called, and in a few seconds Daisy arrived. "We're going out—to get a doctor."

"A doctor?" exclaimed Daisy, nearly staggering.

There were all sorts of plans rapidly forming in Cluster's head, but formless and impossible ones; the situation disturbed him so much that he did not know what else to do.

"Shouldn't you have brought a doctor?" he resolved to ask.

"Yeah, maybe, except it's the dead of night," said Sweet Scroll irritably, "and you teleported me here with no warning. Hop to it, I know where the doctor is!"

"But shouldn't I come?" began Cluster, only to observe with dread and horror the writhing of Snowfall on the bed.

"Ah! Do what you want!" cried Sweet Scroll, and she took off to the hospital.

"We'll be right back!" said Daisy, before she, too, left the house.

Cluster stopped, waves of immeasurable grief washing over him. Better to stay and clean the blood. He kept thinking it over and over, all that he had done, and he never felt so guilty before anypony. He wasn't even able to say "I love you" back, because whenever he tried he felt like he were being suffocated. He grabbed her hoof and pressed it to his chest.

"It's fine," said Cluster in a low, strained voice. "You'll be fine. Everything will be fine."

"I've... waited so long... to see you," she continued in her weak patters. "I thought that... I'd have the foal... without you by my side."

Cluster's face contorted into an afflictive expression. He gripped her hoof more tightly. He tried looking into her eyes, but she wasn't staring at him; it looked like all traces of light vanished from them.

"Don't think that," he said. "I'm here now. That's what matters."

"How strange... I can't see... your face anymore."

Cluster heaved himself up, noticing that she was trembling all over. He started to choke up.

"Cluster... keep going... please."

"What—what are you saying?" he exclaimed, going stiff.

"Remember that... nothing is more important than family... nothing in all of Equestria... is more important..."

"Stop talking, you need to rest." He looked around the room for some reason. "I don't understand. The pregnancy is over. Damn it, why is this happening?"

"Go back to your family... take care of them... because I lost mine. Can you do that for me... Cluster?"

"Snow, it doesn't have to only be me," he said, leaning in and holding her hoof with both of his. "I know, how about you meet my brother and sister? I'm sure you would get along with them." His lips were all atremble, eyes practically bloodshot. "Her name is Airglow Sky, and his name is Nova Steel. They can be so much fun to talk to. I... you... Snow..." Snowfall didn't respond at first. "Snow..." he said again, and finally tears streamed down his face.

"Don't forget about your family..." Her voice was extremely thin, and she was losing her breath more and more. "Do that for me... they're all that matters... Okay?"

"Please!" cried Cluster, weeping without control. "Don't go. Please don't go!"

"Cluster..." Her face fell to the side, eyes shut. "I'm so happy... that... we..."

She exhaled for the last time; her whole body went cold and motionless. She died in his arms.

Infinite suffering showed on Cluster's face. He kept shouting at her, prodding her, kissing her, but it was all in vain. At last he fell down by the bedside and burst into loud tears.

* * *

He wasn't sure how long it had been. It was probably ten minutes later when the mares came back with a doctor. They arrived at a scene with Snowfall's body covered almost entirely in towels, pillows strapped beneath her, with a desperate Cluster ready to take her out, levitated in his magic, for having had to wait so long. They rushed in and did all they could to calm him down, as the doctor got to work.

Cluster couldn't contain himself; whenever it seemed like he was calming down, another fit of weeping came over him. Daisy later remarked that she had ever seen a pony cry so much as he had. Even after an examination, the doctor concluded that her recovery would be impossible, and that even if they rushed her to the hospital (and they did), nothing would come of it. At the hospital everything was in disorder as well. He waited, unsure of the time, unsure of what he was doing anymore, till he received the grimmest news of his life at a pin drop. A few more medical ponies came to take her body away afterwards.

Back in Daisy's house, Cluster sat on the floor, stock-still as a statue, looking down. It was impossible to discern any emotion on his face. From a distance it looked like he was a large rag doll: positively lifeless. Many hours had gone by, but he wasn't aware of anything. He was unresponsive, his mind vacant. It was only when he heard the crying of his daughter that he lifted his head, and new tears began streaming down his face.

Daisy had come in with the foal, and she carefully laid her in Cluster's embrace.

"What will you name her?" she asked, with a sad smile.

Cluster stared down at the foal. She was such a tiny thing, so defenseless, yet she moved around with the full intention of proclaiming her right to live. He, at last, smiled.

"Aurora," he said, and held his daughter close to him.

I won't be like him. I won't.

Author's Note:

End of Part III. New chapters won't be released for a while now, so you can expect Part IV when it's ready.

Comments

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Sauce for cover art: https://www.deviantart.com/tridgeon/art/Ponyville-290658679