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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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WHelp, the shit has hit the Magical Shield it seems. This Train Has no brakes, All ahead to Shitsville!
Nate still has some corruption, but probably only enough water to save Luna. Looks like Crystal Sword will have an important role to play with him. If this Nate's actions in his current state don't prove his loyalty and devotion to Luna, maybe his refusal to submit to Guto will.
9120720
There will be a slight stop before the train decides to remove the brakes, but it's currently drifting on the tracks, so yeah crash is imminent
9121148
Are you referring to the black tar he coughed up?
9121422
Because you set yourself up for it:
i.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons/original/000/000/727/DenshaDeD_ch01p16-17.png
Have dat Drift Train
Incur the wroth of a mother at your own peril, Guto the Betrayer. Heed the danger of enslaving the free. Beware the vehemence of the exterminated. He may be bent, but not broken. And he will come for thee!
9121426
yes
9121990
I can almost hear Mr. Popo saying 'prepare to be assimilated'
9122082
Then I have failed to make that clear. That is the result of using too much magic, its technically dead mana your body removes violently. I was gonna mention it in more depth later, but to kill confusion I'm doing it now instead.
9122258
oh, okay
9123658
It kind of worked then. Welp time to spend the rest of the chapters moving her from "I'm gonna fucking kill you status" to "I hate you status". Not gonna lie, the fact you hate her so much is kind of a challange for me. It's kind of the reaction I want for her, but now it's gonna take a long time reedeming her somewhat XD
9124606
you did a really good job and over the course of the chapters I've read so far have kept her characterization stable enough that you turn luna into what is basically a paragon of what ponykind should be compared to her. As for Nathaniel's mysterious destiny, I'm still thinking that despite what was mentioned, it was NOT his destiny for this to happen, as it would require outside interference to even pull him to equestria from a world without magic. Whether or not that was a good decision I have yet to see but what I do know is that when someone who has a particular destiny forced on them learns about their destiny, they tend to try to reject it either in a good or bad way, OR they've really lost enough of their individuality that they just follow it. Nathaniel's consistently put forth his preference for free will, so he's probably going to "make his mark" on the world so to speak purely by accident, then do his best to just live life as peacefully as possible, however that ends up manifesting itself. Anyways, that's just what I've seen based purely on what you've written up to chapter 10. I'm probably gonna take a break from the fic and come back to it after a couple days just so I can actually focus not on how much of a retard celestia is being in it, and more on the actual story.