With Germany suffering defeat of The Great War; the whole nation is suddenly ripped off the face of the world and thrown into a new one. How will Equis react to a huge, industrial, Empire. Will Germany seek peace, or will they start another war?
8175914 I think you've also fallen into the trap of way too many tags. Maybe limit the tags to what the story you have in mind is mainly about, instead of that mess
I walked up right behind the captain, "do you all speak English"?
They nodded and one to them walked up, most likely the leader, "yes! Don't hurt us with whatever those things are"!
My problem here is that they recognize the word "English" when they shouldn't have.
The leader cleared his throat, "our princess, named Celestia sent us here to scout a new large plot of land that had mysteriously appeared by us and made our continent even bigger than it was previously and had us out here to confirm that you all were not hostile".
My problem here is they carelessly told potential enemies the name of their own ruler.
Other than that, you have some grammatical errors. I'm not German nor do I know German, but I'm willing to be your editor. Just PM me if you're interested.
I rubbed my cheek and pondered what the next move shall be. Are the allies breaking the truce and attacking? No, it couldn't be, there's no one here. But how has the weather dramatically changed so quick.
Really the allies are breaking the truce because of the change of weather? I don't think so.. but good story so far.
Without the harsh treaty Germany will prosper once again like it always has. In this scenario conflict will be inevitable but it wont be started by germany but another country afraid of the change in the balance of power. First off, Germany was not really the aggressor in the war, he had no choice because helping Austria-Hungary in her war with Serbia prompted them to war with Russia whom was allied with france. So, with war on multiple front they acted like napoleon would do and gone for the offensive.
Here, we might see a triving Germany like today, that heavily influences the countries near him, in this case more so because of their machinery and german engineering and science. They had plans for an early concept of a jet engine.
But as I said, a country suddenly appearing that is vastlly superior in technology and, soon, economy will be the cause of a fear fueled war to those who would like to hold onto power. In this case, the Griffins. I think.
For the story, I think it has an interesting premise. It's missing something but I still can't put my finger on it so I'll save that for later. For the introduction of Equestria and the Griffins things could have been better. I do like to see more of this, see where it would go.
8179072 damn, I've never met anyone that knew his history better than me. I know my history too, but you know exactly what kind of conflict would occur. I'm fucking impressed
8179245 I like European history. So many Ideals, myths, and wars one can only see through so much perspective from different sides with different stories.
I came across a huge building with a dome, must be the capital, I thought to myself as I examined it. It's very well built too.
If you are referring to the Reichstag, I must note that the Modern Reichstag, restored after its destruction in 1945 has a dome, the original had a 4 Sided Pyramid on the top.
Meanwhile... In The German Reichstag...
Okay, I know the Reichstag is the iconic German government building, but to have the likes of "The Silent Dictatorship" that was the Hindenburg and Luddendorf duo be there makes no sense, unless they are addressing the Reichstag parliament. It's like having the military meet at the Capitol instead of the Pentagon or the White House.
http://www.mappery.com/maps/Berlin-1910-Map.jpg This map centered around Unter Der Linden (the road that goes up to the Brandenburg Gate) shows all the major government, diplomatic, military, and scholastic centers of Berlin, Circa the 1910s
The places to know would be:
The Berlin City Palace (StadtSchloss) located on the island in the Spree River, and the residence of the Kaiser (It's the building that looks like a number eight)
The Kronprinz's residence, the city home of my avatar photo, Kronprinz Friedrich Wilhelm.
The catch all term for the non Royal government buildings is the Wilhelmstraße, (Think Pennsyvania Ave. Downing Street.) just about everything is on it, the Chancellory, the Foreign Office, all manner of smaller ministries. The War Ministry also sits on the corner of Leipzigerstraße and Wilhelmstraße.
Quite a bit to take in. . .
Tbh, I'm glad someone posted something with Imperial Germany, I've worked on and off on a similar series for years, (if you didn't figure) but was never willing to post it, probably should. Thanks for reminding me.
"Ans whike you're at it Captain, have Luna informed on the situation", he saluted and left.
Also, while
Slow down while typing. You could simply fix the spelling, but I personally think the word change smooths out the additional statement. Works either way. Since the fic involves multiple languages, be a sliver-bit more careful with spelling, for a second I thought it was going back to German. Imagine that, German ponies.
8571189 “Ans whike” is German for “And while”. And before you whine that we should only be seeing English, look at any Harry Turtledove books that have more that English speakers, such as Worldwar: In the Balance, Worldwar: Tilting the Balance, Worldwar: Upsetting the Balance, and Worldwar: Striking the Balance and you will see Ja and Da littered throughout the German and Soviet sections constantly. You will also see Nichivo or something very close to that (I don’t actually have Worldwar: In the Balance on hand) in a German section when he is talking to a Soviet Pilot.
I think you need to improve your...everything, to be honest.
8175902 can you be a bit more specific?
8175903 Grammar, the way characters speak, sometimes you don't capitalize speech, quite a few spelling errors etc.
8175912 Well, as minor as it is. I'll be sure to fix it. Thanks for the tip.
This story has potential, I'll put this in my To-Read-Later list.
8175914 I think you've also fallen into the trap of way too many tags. Maybe limit the tags to what the story you have in mind is mainly about, instead of that mess
8175926 well, the tags are for future chapters, just need to be patient mate
War? Will there be war? ;-;
8175929 Yes, but not now, I'm going to build it up
8175957 no, why? 'Cause I'm very alive!
Dude, such a great idea, please, keep working on this.
8176100 I will, and on the way, if I happen to make any mistakes, comment down what it is and I'll be happy to fix it.
Good story. Also nice to see a story relating to WW1 and The German Empire.
8176140 yeah, there's little to no stories about WWI, so I thought to myself, 'why not?'.
Oh this is gonna be good
Now this is going to be good. So...Very...GOOD...
ok, Was?
My problem here is that they recognize the word "English" when they shouldn't have.
My problem here is they carelessly told potential enemies the name of their own ruler.
Other than that, you have some grammatical errors. I'm not German nor do I know German, but I'm willing to be your editor. Just PM me if you're interested.
please learn some german parts of it in this chapter are really bad
8176854 they're going to get knocked down by the guns dude.
8176865 I'll be sure to fix that, give me a sec... and there.. all good.
8176870 sorry, I'm still learning, but I'll be sure to fix it. There, let me know if it's any better.
8176881 if you ever need help just message me or something
8176905 I'll be sure to do that
8176871
i know, but as a german, what you wrote simply didn't make sense
Really the allies are breaking the truce because of the change of weather? I don't think so.. but good story so far.
8177155 do you think he used google translate?
8177211
quite possibly, that explains why it sounds like they shouldn't change their clothes
now it sounds even sillier
better would be
AT least now it makes sense
8177226 man if there are three languages i just would love to learn, it would be Japanese, German, and English.
8177054 yes, he is
Without the harsh treaty Germany will prosper once again like it always has. In this scenario conflict will be inevitable but it wont be started by germany but another country afraid of the change in the balance of power. First off, Germany was not really the aggressor in the war, he had no choice because helping Austria-Hungary in her war with Serbia prompted them to war with Russia whom was allied with france. So, with war on multiple front they acted like napoleon would do and gone for the offensive.
Here, we might see a triving Germany like today, that heavily influences the countries near him, in this case more so because of their machinery and german engineering and science. They had plans for an early concept of a jet engine.
But as I said, a country suddenly appearing that is vastlly superior in technology and, soon, economy will be the cause of a fear fueled war to those who would like to hold onto power. In this case, the Griffins. I think.
For the story, I think it has an interesting premise. It's missing something but I still can't put my finger on it so I'll save that for later. For the introduction of Equestria and the Griffins things could have been better. I do like to see more of this, see where it would go.
8179072 damn, I've never met anyone that knew his history better than me. I know my history too, but you know exactly what kind of conflict would occur. I'm fucking impressed
8179245 I like European history. So many Ideals, myths, and wars one can only see through so much perspective from different sides with different stories.
8179894 I do too. I like to study the world wars during my free time
8179899 there are a lot of interesting ones from the days of the roman empire too. History is like a big book, really.
8179913 it really is
If you are referring to the Reichstag, I must note that the Modern Reichstag, restored after its destruction in 1945 has a dome, the original had a 4 Sided Pyramid on the top.
Okay, I know the Reichstag is the iconic German government building, but to have the likes of "The Silent Dictatorship" that was the Hindenburg and Luddendorf duo be there makes no sense, unless they are addressing the Reichstag parliament. It's like having the military meet at the Capitol instead of the Pentagon or the White House.
http://www.mappery.com/maps/Berlin-1910-Map.jpg
This map centered around Unter Der Linden (the road that goes up to the Brandenburg Gate) shows all the major government, diplomatic, military, and scholastic centers of Berlin, Circa the 1910s
The places to know would be:
The Berlin City Palace (StadtSchloss) located on the island in the Spree River, and the residence of the Kaiser (It's the building that looks like a number eight)
The Kronprinz's residence, the city home of my avatar photo, Kronprinz Friedrich Wilhelm.
The catch all term for the non Royal government buildings is the Wilhelmstraße, (Think Pennsyvania Ave. Downing Street.) just about everything is on it, the Chancellory, the Foreign Office, all manner of smaller ministries. The War Ministry also sits on the corner of Leipzigerstraße and Wilhelmstraße.
Quite a bit to take in. . .
Tbh, I'm glad someone posted something with Imperial Germany, I've worked on and off on a similar series for years, (if you didn't figure) but was never willing to post it, probably should. Thanks for reminding me.
This needs a little editing. I mean I've spotted a lot of sentences within the quotes that didn't have any capitalizations.
Other than being slightly fast-paced, I'll start my journey here.
Slow down while typing. You could simply fix the spelling, but I personally think the word change smooths out the additional statement. Works either way. Since the fic involves multiple languages, be a sliver-bit more careful with spelling, for a second I thought it was going back to German. Imagine that, German ponies.
8571189
“Ans whike” is German for “And while”. And before you whine that we should only be seeing English, look at any Harry Turtledove books that have more that English speakers, such as Worldwar: In the Balance, Worldwar: Tilting the Balance, Worldwar: Upsetting the Balance, and Worldwar: Striking the Balance and you will see Ja and Da littered throughout the German and Soviet sections constantly. You will also see Nichivo or something very close to that (I don’t actually have Worldwar: In the Balance on hand) in a German section when he is talking to a Soviet Pilot.