Discord, bored of the world after ruling it for centuries, senses his up coming demise and visits another world overflowing with chaos. After seemingly picking a random creature, he offers the biped a tempting choice to keep things chaotic.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Yes more please! And this is another great chapter by a great writer^_^
groove
"I smile as I stop a good ten feet away, time to make a better first impression."
Murphy's Law activated
9702152
I read that last bit as glados in my head, I could not stop laughing .
Shouldn't there be a SMITE fandom tag?
~Khepri Main
Good to see the story and by extension you aren't dead.
9702149
Fixed :)
9702201
Who said I was dead? Just busy with sprite work.
Love this story
Great to see the story moving forward, and there's a lot of things to look forward to!
Liking it so far. I do have a question: Does he have access to the costumes of the gods as well?
groove
(Insert That Time I was Reincarnated as a Slime joke here.)
(Insert Monster Hunter joke here.)
them
It's alive!
9702323
No that would be too much to describe and there's too many anyway.
9702343
Fixed :)
Thanks for making my day.
I so love this story.
I hope he won't make a mistake of giving them any technology for help, that's literally a basic knowledge to never give that for exchange for help if you don't have many reasons to work together,especially in the long run.
He will just need to use brute force in these negotiations like literally moving a mountain, start moving sun and all
Ah, one of my favorite fics.
Make me curious how minotaurs call it...
9702671
Same here.
9702466
true, it's like an unspoken rule that most writers follows.
I reached my limit today. I can no longer read this story without pausing every sentence and thinking about how stupid it is. There are so many problems with the story that reading it is now a chore. A little tip: get rid of filler, what I mean by that is to remove everything that is not essential to the plot... So, 80% of the story can be removed without losing anything at all. Question every sentence you write, for a quick example: Was that piss really necessary? Did it really need to take up 100-ish words? What purpose did it serve? If you were to remove that would anything be lost in the story? You know, two years ago I remember thinking that your work is great and I could read it without stopping, now--after reading a lot of professor approved books--I can't even last a paragraph before I have to start skimming. The last tip before I leave forever and forget about you is to read more books. Anything below a 5:1 like to dislikes ratio would be considered as poor story writing on this site so read everything that has a ratio like that. That should be a good starting point for you.
Take care, I'm out.
9703093
Wow... You're a right ass hole. You do realize if stories followed you're idea of 'no filler' they'd be as dry reading as a dictionary, right? True, that scene with him taking a piss probably wasn't needed but it made the character a bit more human and relatable since he can be seen having to deal with the same stuff everybody does on a daily basis.
And who are you to just waltz around and declare something shit just because you don't like it? Who died and crowned you the drama queen? While I can understand you not wanting to read a story anymore the way you went about telling the author that was extremely callous and unnecessary. Not to mention sounding like you had a stick shoved so far up your rear that the only way you could breath was having to stick your nose to the sky.
9702875
Especially if it is human in equestria.
There are some things human from our world should know ,especially if he played in any strategic games or read history or has done anything.
But they do these stupid mistakes anyways, some mistakes can be forgivable but there is a line.
If writers want their protagonists to make mistakes obvious to us humans ,then why make them human?
But then sometimes they try to explain that by writing their backstory that they were living under a rock or the never used internet.
Thankfuly Carl/Pantheon didn't do anything stupid ,............. or at least a big msitake.
The only stupid thing for now is him tring to get help from minotaurs.
We got a glimpse of how they behave from the village .
Is there a minotaur god in Smite? That would help
Also there is Celestia ........ I hope that after purging she will not be immediately free but will get a choice:
1 she goes to tartarus
2 she goes to anty racist rehabilitation something XD
3 or will get some collar that will track ,monitor her and other stuff.
Then again after pain and death she caused to her ponies ,innocent changelings and maybe to other species (I don't think that dragon in zebra land was't a contingency)
She caused these things before she was possessed by nightmare, does she deserves a second chance?
And being Luna sister does mean nothing ,why should they care about that ?
9703126
I though it was an arm so far up and somebody was using him as a muppet. It's like playing chicken and he never said chicken.
9703266
Amen to that. Celestia was also the problem or a problem, even before the nightmare came to her.
I am feeling like the first chapters are like seeing some Ben 10 BS but then you read a bit more and then you think "ok, it's not like that".
Has anybody seen a "World Of Warcraft" fic? by preference please tell me some of it that has HiE or a Fanfic.
9703266
There is no Minotaur god in smite, Minotaur's are a siege unit in the Arena game mode.
SPOILER: Celestia will get a punishment, how bad will have to be seen
And as to tech, he's keeping that for the changelings for now and nothing special like computers or guns. (he doesn't know how to program coding anyway)
9703126
I'm not a fan off filler myself, (Look at the current episodes of One-Piece, flash back episodes while the manga can advance) But I like adding bits and pieces to my stories so it's not all just action and silent travel scenes. If he doesn't like my story just for this, then whatever, just means I lose a reader out of the near 1000+ I still have.
keep writing I am rooting for pantheon and the changelings
9703126
I am nobody, I am just another robot that reads a bit too much. What I don't understand is why someone with your prestige (you're better than this author) failed to understand what I meant by filler. Look at the story, Diaries of a Madman, there is no filler there and every action that is taken has some kind of reason behind it. Would you label that story as dry?
Let's forget about that and move to the Mary Sue aspects of this story. Tell me, why is it that everyone is so shallow and stupid? Why does the protagonist have all the answers and when he doesn't it is usually for simple matters that can still be achieved but he is too two-dimensional to understand how? Why does he have to 'invent' everything, even simple things? ... Anyways, that is all not important, obviously, he will learn over time and slowly he will become better but due to his inactivity it will take him a long time to get anywhere.
I have started to read your biggest and most popular story and I understand why it is so highly rated. After all, you are marketing towards teens that have spent a lot of time playing games. So it is only natural that many would find the story interesting. A bit childish in places but it works on this site.
Edit: After the second chapter the story goes downhill. You need to work on your dialogue. And the leveling up system...
9703612
I thank you for the compliment but you seemed to have missed what I meant with my comment. I do agree with you, the author can improve, just as we all can improve, I'm not denying that. What I'm calling you out on is how rude you were when telling the author what you didn't like. I can be quite blunt myself but I know there is a line one can cross from bluntness to just being rude and insensitive.
You passed that line in your post, you also came across with an 'I'm superior to all you neophytes' attitude that doesn't help get your critiques to be listened to and acted upon. Quite the opposite actually. It makes people wall off and get defensive as it seems like you're attacking them rather than lending a helping hand. Again, thank you for the compliment but I do not care if I am a 'better' author, Please use tact the next time you comment on a person's story.
9703312
That's only if they are a puppet, to begin with.
9703519
I'm glad. I'm all on board for improving and showing where it can be done, but there's a line that one can cross from help into hinderance and if I see that I point it out. And personally, I enjoy that kind of additive to stories, helps me makes parallels to my own life, making the characters seems more relatable and fun to read about.
Don't let harsh words discourage you from writing if it's what you enjoy.
9703641
Yeah, you are correct. I keep forgetting who I am talking to and disregard their needs. I'll work on it.
9703703
Then that's a step in the correct direction. I also apologize, I was a bit crass in the first comment, more so than I should have been.
Edit: I wonder what the Down vote is for?
9703743
All is forgiven, I needed a harsher push than most can put out. On a completely unrelated note, are you planning to update Let the Game Begin? It is an interesting concept that falls in line with how I play games.
9703832
Thank you. And to answer your question, yes, I've been working on the next chapter recently. I'm glad you're enjoying it. A bit of writer's block and real-world happenings made it so I was unable to update it. I hope to have the next chapter up by the middle of next month, the end of next month at the latest.
9704310
There will be other Gods who show up later and Carl/Pantheon will have trouble.
9703612
I have readed every chapter of Diaries of a madman 2 times just so I can really compare and say this: "after he broke up with flo, the story started to became a bit hollow and even with the themes before, the author had abandoned most of the great creativity and thinking ahead, just for the sake of making one of the biggest story-arch's available in fimfiction. the best chapters are below the 87 and then they became a bit dull" and navarone/anonymous is a maniac depressive with low selfstem and so many fucking problems as a protagonist. He's BEYOND the concept of fucked up.
please, do not try to compare the authors because most of the biggest authors are old as hell and they have practice or write tons of words per chapter. "DoMM(diaries of a madman) has at least more than 15,000 minimum per chapter on words. Please note that a this point I am only ranting and I do not hated or dislike the story of DoMM.
People can always get better at something and the stories can always get better at any point of the story. It will always take time to try to be better and that is the point... "trying is the key",
AND you are right about the point of "diaries of a madman" having almost none fillers. It's always because of a reason and it use more and more of the logical part of the brain to making us think "heh, makes sense". One can rarely feel out of place unless somebody pick the wrong chapter. It's refreshing the feeling of something new, even if it's in the middle of the climax of the story. It's out of place?Yes, but it will feel refreshing the new things.
Also... what stories would you recommend me?
9704818
I did find that the depressed Nav is a bit much at times mainly earlier on, but you have to think of how hard it must have been to go through all the awful things. Remember that Flo did change Nav's mind, probably to ease some of his trauma as seen in chapter190 with the Egyptian desert having trees. So when she left, Nav started to crumble. Then Nav goes to a lot more places without someone to talk and help him through... Twilight, Taya, and others don't count due to the fact that they are trying to change him to better suit them. And then you have Aqua, I don't have the mental fortitude to live if something like that were to happen and Nav can't even die. It's one of the most horrifying thoughts a story has given me. So him being majorly depressed most of the time, makes sense.
I have read the story twice too, once when I first started to read--literally a month after I joined this website--and a year back I re-read it since back then, I thought that all the stories here are good... Young and dumb, you know...?
Recommendations? Go to my library and look through my divinity subsection, those are the best stories that I have read on this website. Be aware that the further back you go the stories that might be there are not that amazing as I have been putting stories into that list since two years ago. I wasn't as critically minded as I am now.
9705026
The thing with navarone is that it goes deeper and deeper and not without a meaning behind. Always with many reasons. It is something that has been constructed and not made-up.
Nav really can die... he's just to hard to kill and many things can go and mostly will go wrong if somebody tries.
He's no gary stue or mary sue. It feels by far alive, almost truly alive because of the complexity of the character. If you see that on somebody close to you, well... better get help as sooner as possible.
I think that I remember in the story something about Nav having chronic depression or him and his family besides her sister.
9705121
No, she literally can't die because discord will not allow it. She wants to die and everything is keeping her from doing so. Yes, there is also the abusive childhood that she wants to get rid of but can't because Discord. Really her whole life is torture beyond measure.
Of course, he is not a Mary Sue... What gave you the impression that I even said that? The story is about the characters themselves and not being overpowered and having answers to everything. The part of her being unkillable is just too add to her torture.
And yeah, the story is very complex with many twists and turns that make the characters who they are... All the characters feel alive in the world that whatmustido built... what's your point? I was just trying to justify that the story after chapter 80 is still great and makes perfect sense based on what is going on.
9705173
I tend to change my opinions rather quickly when I know i am wrong.
Why did he randomly start firing his bow?
9703093
Ok so, while you did bring up some good points - the fact that there’s a fair amount of filler in the story and that it drones on at times - you really didn’t need to phrase it in such an excessively rude way.
Criticism isn’t taken seriously if it’s phrased as an insult.
Glad to see this story back, I’m hoping for frequent updates! Anything new of this is a blessing.
Dang it.
Wow can't wait for the new chapter