The Chaotic Three: A Zany Story

by LunaJack

Dinner Party Chaos

It was 6:30. The guests were starting to arrive, but there was still a lot to do. Discord assisted Big Mac in hanging the lanterns in the gazebo while Zany helped Applespike lay the tablecloths. Fluttershy assisted Applejack in the kitchen while Spike counted the dishes and silverware.

“Let's see. There's us, Big Mac and Cherilee, Twilight, Flash, and Twinkle. Rarity, Fancy Pants, Gemstone, Jewel. Pinkie, Red Shoes, and the Tri-Pies. Discord, Fluttershy, Zany..er...are Screwy and Mothball coming too?” he asked Fluttershy.

“Oh, yes! They said they wouldn't miss it for the world,” said Fluttershy.

“Okay, then,” Spike quickly crunched the numbers. “That's twenty-five place settings and we have,” He checked his lists. “One hundred twenty-five plates, forks, spoons, and knives.”

Applejack grinned at Fluttershy's surprised face. “We host a lot of family reunions, you know.”

“Yoohoo! Is anyone here?” Rarity and Jewel entered through the kitchen door followed by Gemstone who was levitating a large crystal bowl containing her salad. “We're here! Fancy Pants insisted on assisting Granny Smith with the cider.”

“Where would you like this, Aunt Applejack?” asked Gemstone.

“On the table, Sugarcube. Right next to the potato salad. Thank ya'll for bringing the food! At least there's something everyone will eat,” she added darkly.

“Oooh! May I help set the table, Aunt Applejack?” asked Jewel sweetly.

“Sure, Sweetpea.” Applejack motioned her towards the tower of plates and enormous box of silverware.

“I'll get the plates,” said Gemstone, levitating the dishes so they flew single-file out the door. Jewel followed behind with the silverware. The sun was just setting as they reached the gazebo. Discord stood, looking up at the many lanterns hanging from hooks high in the rafters.

“Now?” he asked Big Mac.

“Eyup.”

Discord waved his paw and all the lanterns lit up with a bright, happy glow.

“Nice,” said Big Mac, nodding his approval. Discord smirked. It took a lot to impress the laconic pony into saying something other than “Eyup” and “Nope”. Both of them turned as the unicorn sisters approached.

“Place settings! So we are one step closer to getting this over with, hmmm?” asked Discord, grinning.

“Yes, sir,” said Gemstone. She and Jewel were used to the draconequess's off-the-wall remarks. Carefully, she laid out the plates as Jewel counted out the forks and knives. No one noticed her slipping the spoons under the table. Applespike laid the spoons on a clean tea towel while Zany powered up his magic.

“This won't hurt the food, right?” asked Applespike nervously. “I really want to taste those dumplings.”

“No,” said Zany, his spiral eyes starting to glow with chaotic magic. “It's just the spoons.” There was a quick blue flash, like the flash from a camera. The spoons glowed for a second then returned to normal. “Don't worry.” the chaotic colt grinned evilly. “This will be a prank to remember.”

Pinkie Pie and her family arrived next bearing boxes of sweet buttered rolls.

“I wanted to bring cupcakes," the party pony tried to explain. "But you're having apple dumplings, so that would be too much dessert. Can't believe I said that! You can NEVER have too much dessert! But, I thought sweet buttered rolls would be okay. They're sweet, but not dessert! Unless you want them for dessert, then you can put jam or honey or syrup--”

“Yes, thank you, Pinkie,” said Applejack, emptying the still hot rolls into a covered basket. Spike placed them on a tea trolley along side the other foods and rolled them out to the gazebo. The apple dumplings were left in the oven to stay warm.

They were placing the food on the table, when Twilight, Twinkle and Flash suddenly appeared in a bright purple POOF!.

“Sorry, we're late,” said Twilight blushing. “I was trying to make a pineapple upside down cake, but it didn't work out so well.”

Discord leaned on his eagle claw and smirked. “You know, you aren't supposed to bake it upside down, right?” he asked.

"Of course I do!" Twilight snapped. "At least I do NOW!”

“Oh, don't worry. Dad made the same mistake once,” said Screwball, floating down in a giant pink soap bubble. Her husband, Mothball, fluttered down beside her and thoughtfully popped it for her. “Only he put a whole upside down pineapple in it. At least he ate it.”

Everyone chuckled at Screwy's remark except Discord, who gave his daughter a dirty look. “How many times do I have to tell you not to interrupt me when I am mocking?”

Applejack surveyed the table. Everything was set. The food was ready to be served. She looked at her brother and Granny who both nodded.

“All right, everyone! Have a seat and let's eat!”

There were no seating arrangements. Everyone sat where they felt most comfortable. Discord, Fluttershy, Screwy and Mothball sat together at one end of the table while Applejack, Big Mac, Cherliee, Granny Smith and Spike sat at the other. Fancy Pants, Rarity and Gemstone sat next to the Apple family so Fancy Pants could assist in pouring the cider. Pinkie Pie, Red Shoes, Twilight and Flash sat near Discord and Fluttershy. That left the youngsters sitting in a group near the center of the table. Twinkle sat with the Tri-Pies on one side while Zany, Applespike, and Jewel sat opposite. Cinnamon Roll happily served her new dish to the guests.

“I hope you like it!” she chirped. “It's a new recipe I've been working on. I call it Apples and Onions!”

“It sure smells good, Sugarcube,” said Applejack, looking at the stuff doubtfully. Her's wasn't the only unsure look.

“I'm sure it's delicious,” said Rarity weakly.

Only Discord didn't seem daunted. “Apples and Onions? Never thought I'd hear those two words that close in a sentence. Sounds perfectly chaotic!”

He scooped a huge forkful into his mouth and chewed thoughtfully. “I am very disappointed,” he said frowning. “This actually tastes good.”

Everyone breathed a sigh of relief and dug in with relish. Fancy Pants spoke for the crowd when he raised his glass of cider in salute.

"Excellent, my dear! My compliments to the chef!"

Cinnamon Roll glowed with pride. Spike squeezed Applejack's hoof under the table.

Meanwhile, the Tri-Pies were whispering to the Chaotic Three across the table.

“Oooh, I'm so excited!" squealed Raspberry. "Are you going to do a prank tonight?”

“What are you going to do?" asked Cherry. "Never mind! Let it be a surprise!”

“I'll bet it's good. Whatever it is!” grinned Blueberry.

Zany just smiled. “Wait, ladies. Just wait.”

Rarity watched in concern as Jewel loaded her plate with double helpings of potato salad and three sweet buttered rolls. The little filly dug in slowly, a look of bliss plastered across her face. That look was what kept Rarity from reminding her daughter of the supermodel diet Picture Perfect had her on. She looked so happy sitting there surrounded by her friends. A tear dripped down her face before she could catch it.

“Are you all right, Sugarcube?” asked Applejack quietly.

Rarity sniffed. “Yes, of course! I was just thinking how happy I am to have Jewel home. She's missed everyone so much.”

“Looks like she's missed the food too!" Spike chuckled. "Look out, Big Mac. You've got some stiff competition!”

“Eyup,” Big Mac smiled. He was glad to see the poor little filly enjoying her meal. She didn't look like she ate much.

“Well, it's all right for her to splurge this once,” said Fancy Pants sighing. “She'll be leaving us tomorrow. Dinner parties, photo shoots. At least we'll get to see her at the Gala.”

“Yes,” added Rarity. “And we finally get to meet her colt friend, Stud Muffin.”

Applejack looked up sharply. “You're...you're gonna meet him?” she asked.

Fancy Pants nodded. “I'm glad of the opportunity. It is most awkward watching your daughter being courted in the fashion magazines. At least he is being a gentlecolt and wishes to meet with us.”

Applejack's mouth went dry. She glanced at her son who was smiling fondly at Jewel. His father used to look like that long ago whenever he mooned over Rarity. The look made her sick.

“Excuse me, I'm going to check on the dumplings,” she said suddenly.

“I'll help you,” said Spike following her.

Cinnamon Roll looked questioningly at Jewel. The little unicorn had said nothing about Stud Muffin meeting her parents at the Gala. In fact, she hardly mentioned him at all. The only thing she had wanted to talk about was what Applespike and Zany had been up to. Then, she saw Jewel look at her brother. She saw the way her eyes softened and the happy little smile that played at her lips. Cinnamon Roll knew that look. It was the same look her parents shared sometimes when they watched the sunset over the trees. It the was same look Dinky gave her brother Cinnamon Stick when they got married.

“Dessert is here!” cried Spike hauling the apple dumplings on the tea trolley.

“Yea!” cried Pinkie and the Tri-Pies. An explosion of cupcake scented confetti snowed down.

The Chaotic Crusaders glanced at each other and grinned. Cinnamon Roll scooped the sweet golden-brown pastry into Granny's apple-shaped dessert bowls while Spike ensured everyone got served. Even Mothball, who only ate chocolate, got a little dab to try.

Rarity sniffed the sweet aroma and sighed. “Oh, it smells delectable, darling,” she said to Cinnamon Roll. “I can't wait to try it!”

“Me neither!” cried Pinkie Pie snatching up her spoon. Everyone else followed suit. For a moment, there was no noise but the sound of metal spoons hitting and scraping the dishes and the occasional “Mmmmm!” of a satisfied pony. Zany glanced slyly around the table.

“Any minute now,” he whispered.

Hiccup! Fluttershy placed a hoof over her mouth and blushed. “Excuse me—Hic!” She stared as a swarm of yellow and pink bubbles blew from her nose. “Discord!” she said, looking accusingly at her husband.

“I didn't—Hic!” Gray and green bubbles popped from Discord's ears.

Pinkie laughed. “That's funny—Hic!” Bubbles the color of bubblegum flew from her mouth.

“What in tarnation—Hic!” Granny Smith watched as bright green bubbles sailed past her eyes. Soon, everyone but the Chaotic Crusaders was hiccuping and blowing bubbles that matched their colors.

“ZANY DRACON (Hic) EQUESS!” Cinnamon Roll roared, brown and silver bubbles flying from her mouth. “I know you did this, you no good little stinker!” She snatched up a wooden spoon from the table and advanced on the colt.

“Take it easy, Cinnamon,” said Zany, looking unconcerned. “I didn't hurt the food. It's just the spoons.”

Cinnamon Roll was too angry to care. She raised the spoon to smack him. POOF! Zany turned it into a marshmallow mallet. She brought it down on him anyway. Just before impact there was another POOF! and the mallet turned into a large metal soup ladle.

“YEOW!” Zany yelled, covering his head with his hooves as Cinnamon Roll whaled away at him. He tried to cast a spell. “Teleport! OW! Freeze! OW! Marshmallow! OW! Help! OW!”

“That's enough, Sugarcube,” said Applejack, taking the ladle from Cinnamon Roll. “There's no harm done. I'll just get another set of spoons for everyone.”

“You okay, Zany?” Applespike asked, putting a hoof on his friend's back.

“Yeah,” said Zany rubbing his head where the ladle had first struck. “Wow! I didn't think your sister would get that mad!”

“All chefs are like that," said Jewel knowingly. "She is studying under that griffon Gustave Le Grande. And you know how bad tempered griffons are.”

Zany snorted. “What I'd like to know is who turned my marshmallow mallet into a metal ladle! Like I didn't know—Dad!”

Discord rolled his eyes. “What is it with all these accusations? You know I don't interfere with your chaos. Perhaps you should look to your sister. That sounds like a prank she'd play.”

“Not me,” said Screwy, grinning. “But I sure wish I had thought of it.”

Zany narrowed his eyes. He, his father, his sister, and Twilight Sparkle were the only ones present who could do transformations. It was not like Discord and Screwball to play a prank and not own up to it. And Twilight wasn't much of a prankster. Not like her daughter...

Twinkle! Zany stared suspiciously across the table where the purple alicorn was sitting, looking so innocent. She caught his glance and a huge wicked smile slowly scrawled across her face. Zany stared at her in surprise. Then a sinister grin mirroring hers spread across his face.

The rivalry was back on!

Author's Note:

I read part of this chapter to my husband (who is not a fan of MLP). He said it sounded like psychedelic acid trip.

Comments

[Sunny_and_Auri_23]

Why am I just reading this now!? This is adorable! Twinkle X Zany SHIP SHIP SHIP!!
Jewel and Applespike too!

[LunaJack]

10281389
Thank you! I'm glad you liked it!