The Chaotic Three: A Zany Story

by LunaJack

Can You Believe It?

“And then she says 'Thanks for the escort, Zany'. Can you believe it! I almost shot lightning out my nose! I was that surprised!”

“That's nice, dear,” said Fluttershy, smiling. She was busy putting together a potato salad for dinner at Sweet Apple Acres. “Twinkle was very pleased to see you, too. She had us laughing at the joke she played on you.”

“I just can't believe it,” said Zany, floating on his back over his mother's head. “She's changed so much. For one thing, she's taller. I guess that's an alicorn thing. And her mane is all silky and flowing. You think Luna will teach her how it make it flutter all the time?”

Discord, who was busy boiling, peeling, and dicing up eggs all at the same time, growled low. “If we say 'Yes. Probably. Most likely.' will you give it a REST?”

Fluttershy glanced questioningly at her husband. “Is something wrong, dear?”

“Oh, no,” said Discord sarcastically as he diced the eggs into teeny tiny cubes. “I've just had to listen to our fifteen year old son flip his lid over some filly he used to fight with when he was a foal. You two never got along!” he said, pointing up at his son who was now dancing across the ceiling. “Remember all the times I had to separate you two and lock you in magic proof bubbles just so I could get some peace?”

Zany grinned. “Yeah, then we started rolling the bubbles at each other. I bet it sounded like a bowling alley downstairs!”

Discord growled again, showing every sharp tooth he had in his head. “Zany, I am serious! You are NOT going to date Twinkle Sparkle! I forbid it! Absolutely, positively forbid it!”

“Discord!” Fluttershy cried, spinning around to face her husband. “What is wrong with you? All those things are in the past. Zany can date who he wishes!”

“Not her!” said the draconequess putting his hoof down. “Remember, this is Twilight's daughter we're talking about. TWILIGHT! Princess Prissy! The OCD Poster Pony of Equestria! THAT Twilight!” Fluttershy and Zany ducked as Discord tried to dice up a raw egg. The yoke exploded all over him. “I have managed to accept my daughter marrying the prince of Changelings, but my son married to the daughter of the most obsessively organized, most un-chaotic pony in Equestria?” He shivered. “It doesn't bear thinking!”

“Marriage?” Zany dropped from the ceiling, flipped over, and landed cat-like on his hooves. “I'm only 15, Dad, and Twinkle's only 13. I just want to ask her to dance at the Gala. That's all. No need to worry about marriage. It'll probably never happen.”

Discord cleaned the yoke from his fur. “That's what they all say,” he muttered.

---

“My studies are coming along really well, Mom. I can do long distance teleportation spells now. Though, Princess Luna said I should be careful about using them. If you do a transportation spell, you never know where you might end up...”

Princess Twilight Sparkle listened quietly as her daughter Twinkle chattered about her studies. Her little filly was so excited to be Princess Luna's prized pupil. Twilight was proud, but she couldn't help feeling a little disappointed. “It's all nice dear,” she said quietly.

Twinkle looked at her mother strangely. “What is it, Mom? I thought you'd be happy that I was being personally mentored by a Princess!”

“I am,” said Twilight, smiling but Twinkle noticed the smile did not reach her eyes. “I just thought that... well, since Princess Celestia had been my mentor, that...well, you know.”

Twinkle laid her hoof on her mother's shoulder. “I know, Mom. You really love Princess Celestia. I do, too. But I'm really happy to be Luna's student. I wish you could happy with me.”

Twilight sighed. “I love Princess Luna, Twinkle, and I trust her as your mentor. It's just that...I don't know her all that well. You and the others have grown up knowing who she is and what she's like. I didn't have that opportunity until later in my life. And then I first knew her as Nightmare Moon.”

“I understand,” said Twinkle softly, nuzzling her mother's warm neck. She knew the story: how her mother and other members of the Mane 6 had activated the Elements of Harmony and turned Nightmare Moon back into Luna. After having been banished for a 1000 years, it had taken the Princess a long time to develop any relationships. But, she had done it and now the ponies of Equestria loved their princess of the night.

Twinkle glanced at her mother's face. A tear had escaped one of Twilight's eyes and was slowly rolling down her cheek. She wished she could tell her mother the whole truth about why Luna had chosen her. It would make her feel better if she knew. But the Princess had asked her to keep it quiet...at least for now. Twinkle grinned to herself. If her mother only knew...

---

Applejack hovered over Cinnamon Roll, watching nervously as her daughter boldly mixed the ingredients for her new apple recipe. Apples, sweet onions, and spices she had never even heard of were all going into a enormous pan to bake until suppertime. The southern pony bit her lip and sat on her hooves to keep from interfering. Her husband Spike, who was busy preparing the filling for the dumplings, shook his head in amusement.

“Come on, Applejack. I need you to roll out the dough for me.”

“Okay,” she said, reluctantly walking over to assist him. She slapped the dough onto a floured mat and began to roll it out. Still, she kept looking over shoulder...shuddering at each new ingredient her daughter threw into the mix. Spike gave her a playful nudge.

“Don't worry, babe. Cinnamon Roll knows what she's doing.”

“Yeah, I know,” said Applejack quietly. “But this isn't Canterlot or Manehattan. This is Ponyville. Folks around here have a different idea of what tastes good.”

“Well, I can't wait to try it,” said Applespike, giving his sister an admiring look. He carried a bowl of peeled apple slices to her. “I don't mind if it's fancy or not. You are the best cooker in the family...uh...” he glanced guiltily at his mother and Granny Smith who had just wandered into the kitchen. “After Granny and Mom, I mean.” he finished lamely.

“Nice save, son,” said Spike, grinning.

The half pony blushed and decided it would be safer to change the subject. “I was really surprised to see Jewel today. She hasn't been to Ponyville since she became a model. I can't believe how beautiful she is!”

Applejack frowned and rolled the dough harder. “Yeah, neither can I,” she muttered through clenched teeth.

“I've seen her pictures on those fashion magazines at the store. But to see her again in person...” Applespike smiled dreamily. “It was wonderful. Maybe, I'll ask her to dance with me at the Gala!”

“Now, don't get your hopes up, Sugarcube,” said Applejack, quickly. “Jewel's a sweet filly, I'm sure, but she lives a life a lot different from us. She's out modeling, and jet-setting with all those Manehattan folks. She may not have time for...well...folks like us.”

Applespike thought for a moment then shrugged. “Can't hurt to ask.”

“I hope it don't,” his mother murmured.

Spike looked closely at his wife's face. She was frowning, her bottom lip was trembling slightly. “Son, could you go check on your uncle Big Mac and see if he needs any help setting up the tables in the gazebo?”

Applespike nodded and trotted out the back door. Spike laid his claw on Applejack's hoof. “What is it, A.J?” he asked tenderly. “You worried about Applespike and Jewel?”

Tears leaked from Applejack's eyes. “Yes! You think I've forgotten how her mother treated you all those years ago? Led you on, then broke your heart!” Applejack left the table to blow her nose into a napkin.

Spike shook his head. “That's all in the past, A.J. Rarity and I talked it out. She apologized and I forgave her. Besides...” He stood up and put a comforting arm around her shoulder. “Remember when the Changelings attacked and tried to convince you that you were sloppy seconds?”

Applejack was too choked up to speak. She could only nod her head. Spike placed a claw under her chin, raising her face to look at him.

“It was Rarity who defended you and told me what they had said.” He looked deeply into her eyes. “Do you remember what I told you?”

Applejack gulped. “Rarity is a jewel, but I am pure gold.”

“That's right.” Spike kissed her tenderly on the lips. “And don't you forget it.”

“I just don't want our son getting his heart broke,” Applejack whispered. “Especially since Jewel is seeing someone else.”

“Someone else?” said Spike frowning.

“Some high-falutin' colt model named Stud Muffin! It's been in all the gossip pages. They've been seen together at all kinds of events. They're supposed to be attending the Gala together.”

Cinnamon Roll snorted. “That's because that manager of Jewel's insists on it. He thinks they make the perfect couple. Honestly, if it were up to Jewel, she'd choose Applespike or Zany in a heartbeat.

Applejack sighed. “I hope you're right.”

---

“Darling, it is so GOOD to have you home again!” cried Rarity hugging her daughter to her as if she would never let go. It had been three years since Jewel had last set hoof in Ponyville. Rarity, Fancy Pants, and Gemstone had all traveled several times to Canterlot and Manehattan to visit, but their time together was always cut short by Picture Perfect and his staff. It seemed like a miracle that she was there now. No appointments. No hovering staff. No cameras flashing. Just her little filly and her loving family.

“Is there a hug for me?” asked Fancy Pants, walking into the room.

“Daddy!” Jewel squealed, throwing her hooves around her father's neck. Fancy Pants closed his eyes and tried to keep from crying as he hugged her to him. “Oh, Daddy! I'm so happy to see you!”

“Not as happy as we are to see you, I wager,” he managed to say as the tears escaped from his eyes. He magicked a hoofkerchief from his pocket and blew his nose. “If only you could stay longer.”

Some of the happiness drained from the filly's face. “I can't. I have a dinner party tomorrow night in Canterlot. Then there's a photo shoot in Fillydelphia. Then I have to go through a rehearsal for my entrance to the Grand Galloping Gala. No one knows what it is yet, but Picture Perfect has something big planned for that night.”

“I'm not surprised,” said Rarity airily. “He is one the biggest names in fashion. Of course, he would want to show off his prized star!”

“Yes,” said Jewel quietly. “Of course he would.”

The three ponies wandered into the kitchen where Gemstone was putting the finishing touches on a cucumber, carrot, and tomato salad for the dinner that night. She paused just long enough to give her little sister a nuzzle.

“Good to see you, baby sister,” she said. “Sorry, I can't give you a hug but I've been cutting onions. Whew!”

“Whew, indeed!” cried their mother, waving hoof in front of her face. “You need a bath before we attend the dinner tonight. Use the jasmine soap. It should cut out the smell of sulfur.”

“Yes, Mummy,” said Gemstone dutifully. She turned to her sister. “So, how is life as one of Equestria's premiere supermodels? You getting to see the world like you hoped?”

Jewel shrugged. “Yes and no. Mostly I just see it through the window of my train car as we pass by. I have been to several lovely landmarks, but I was working and not able to explore.” She sighed wistfully. “It makes me think of the fun I used to have with Applespike and Zany. Like the time Zany was trying out his teleportation spell and accidentally sent us to Saddle Arabia in the middle of a sandstorm! Oh, we had a time trying to get back before anyone noticed we were gone.” Jewel looked around at her family's stunned faces. “Uh, maybe I shouldn't have told you that.”

“Do you ever hear from them when you're on the road?” asked Gemstone. “I know Applespike sends you letters at least once a week. Do you get them?”

“Yes, thanks to that spell of Aunt Twilight's.” When she had first left Ponyville, her friends had begged the alicorn princess to put the same messaging spell on Applespike that Princess Celestia had put on his father Spike. Picture Perfect wasn't happy with it, but there wasn't anything he could do to stop it. “I just wish I had alicorn powers on my end so I could send letters back faster.” she said.

“Does it bother your colt friend that you're exchanging letters with an old flame back home?” asked Gemstone, teasingly.

“What?” said Jewel in confusion.

“It's in all the fashion magazines, darling,” said Rarity “You and Stud Muffin are all the talk of Manehattan. The gossip columns can't talk of anything else.”

“Really?” said Fancy Pants, raising an eyebrow. “And when are we going to meet this young colt friend of yours? I hope he is a gentlecolt and treats you well.”

Jewel smiled weakly. “Don't worry, Daddy. You will see him at the Gala.” She did not say anything about how he treated her. “Be prepared for lots of photographers. Picture Perfect wants the meeting to look perfect!”

If they only knew how imperfect it really was.

Author's Note:

I've only read one story where Spike actually kisses Applejack on the lips. So I made sure they smooched here.