The Chaotic Three: A Zany Story

by LunaJack

More Revelations

Jewel sat at a desk in the big private train car Picture Perfect used whenever he traveled. She was supposed to be autographing some glamour pictures, but her quill hung in midair. Her eyes were far-away and dreamy.

He was holding her to him. She was trembling in his strong arms.

“Jewel?” His lips were just brushing against hers, sending a tingle down her spine. “May I have…more?”

“Oh, yes!”

“I'LL SUE!”

Picture Perfect’s outraged shout startled her out of her daydream. He was standing nearby, conferring with a small elderly unicorn with mint green fur and a grizzled white mane. The poor fellow flinched at the sudden outburst.

“You may have a case, Mr. Perfect,” he said in a thin, shaky voice. “I've looked through all my medical journals and the only case of Blue Flu ever reported was for a draconequess named Discord. It's even suggested he created it himself.”

“Doesn't surprise me in the least,” said Goodnight, guarding the door. “When I informed Jewel's family about the disease, the draconequess spoke like he was familiar with it.”

“I'll sue!” Picture Perfect roared again, stomping his massive feet. The private train car rocked with the impact. “The pictures I planned to take at the Gala would have sold out magazines! It would have been the biggest news in fashion! I'll sue him! I'll sue that freak for everything he's got!”

Jewel quickly turned her head to keep them from seeing her grin. How she would love to see the hot-headed photographer just try and sue Discord! How could he possibly think he could deal with a creature who was capable of ripping the very fabric of reality and send him packing to another dimension? The draconequess, she was sure, would not take the lawsuit seriously. She could picture him showing up for court wearing a long blonde wig and a dress. “I'm being Sued?” he would say. “Sue is such a boring name. What's wrong with being Betty-ed? Or Veronica-ed?”

“Forget the lawsuit!” cried Stud Muffin, cutting in on her thoughts. Most of the blue was gone from his fur, but there were still splotches where it looked like he had been sprayed with grape juice. “That thing is a menace! I say we demand that those stupid mares turn him back to stone immediately! That would show him!”

The little unicorn filly bit her lip to keep from retorting that one of those “stupid mares” was her mother. Goodnight rolled his eyes at the colt model but managed to reply patiently.

“That would be a good idea, Stud, but you are forgetting that one of those mares is actually married to that thing. It's highly unlikely she would cooperate in turning him to stone.”

The mint green unicorn, who was looking more uncomfortable by the minute, cleared his throat. “Excuse me, but the train will be leaving in a few minutes. Is there anything else I can help you with today?”

Picture Perfect shook his head. Goodnight stepped forward, levitating two small bags of bits.

“Thank you for your time, doctor. Here is your fee for your services,” he hoofed over the bags. “And a little extra for your silence.” He leaned down so he could look the old pony in the eyes. “We would appreciate it if you did not discuss Stud's appearance with any reporters. Understood?”

The doctor gulped. “Yes, sir! My lips are sealed!”

“Good,” Goodnight smiled. He turned to a yellow unicorn bodyguard. “Escort him out, Fair Weather.”

“That blasted draconequess!” Picture Perfect swore as the door closed behind the doctor. He reared up and brought his huge hooves crashing down on a stool, smashing it to smithereens. Goodnight and the other bodyguard coolly shielded themselves with their magic as one of the stool's legs sailed across the room. Stud Muffin quickly hid behind them.

Coward! Thought Jewel.

She remained at the desk, busily signing the stack of photos. She could not shield herself and write at the same time, but she feared if she stopped, Picture Perfect would notice. She really did not want his attention on her right then.

Luckily, no shrapnel came her way. Goodnight calmly took out a notebook and added the stool to their list of expenses. Picture Perfect, having vented his anger, flopped down into an overstuffed chair with one arm laid dramatically over his eyes. It reminded Jewel of her mother whenever she had one of her “fainting spells”.

“Oh, my head!” he whined. “Tell Buff to come. I need a scalp massage.”

The buff colored hairdresser appeared a minute later and set to work gently massaging his temples. It wasn't long before his face relaxed and everyone breathed a sigh of relief.

“That draconequess has ruined everything,” Picture Perfect murmured. “The picture of them kissing on the balcony with the moon in the background would have been perfect. Utterly perfect.”

“Couldn't we go back there tonight?” asked Stud Muffin. “They'll let us in again, won't they?”

Goodnight shook his head. “It's too late. Every pony knows you were not in attendance at the Gala. Readers wouldn't buy into it.”

“I need another venue,” Picture Perfect said sighing. “Preferably one with a perfect view of the full moon.”

“Perhaps the top of the Manehattan Empire Building?” suggested Fair Weather, stepping through the door. “It's a popular place.”

“Precisely why it won't do!” said the photographer, slamming his hoof into the arm rest. “Every pony wants to meet their love there ever since that sappy show “Sleepless in Sea Bridle” came out! No, no, no! It has to be some place special.”

“I know a place...”

Jewel put a hoof to her lips. She did not mean to say that out loud! Picture Perfect cocked his eye brow quizzically.

“And what place would that be?” he asked. “Nothing involving a monument, I hope.”

“No,” Jewel replied quietly. “It's a place I've visited many times. It's a tall hill covered in soft green grass overlooking an apple orchard. A big apple tree grows on its summit. I used to climb up there with my family to sit in the shade and have a picnic.” A dreamy smile crept across her face as she spoke. “It was so lovely. We could watch the orange sun sink into the pink clouds on the horizon or watch the full moon rise all silvery over the trees.”

“Very poetic,” said Picture Perfect, dryly. “And just where is this place you are referring to?”

“Sweet Apple Acres Farm. Just outside Ponyville.”

“Of course, it is,” the photographer snorted derisively. He closed his eyes. “Thank you for the suggestion, but I believe I will pass.”

“But why?” asked Jewel, fighting to keep her voice calm. “What is wrong with Ponyville?”

“Like I told your mother, Ponyville is too--”

“Rustic. I know. But, that didn't stop you from taking me to Appleloosa and Dodge City. What is it about Ponyville you don't like?”

“Let's just say, I have a problem with some of the residents,” he answered, lazily waving a hoof.

“What?” Jewel narrowed her eyes. “What do you mean by that?”

“What he means,” said Goodnight, cutting in smoothly. “Is there are certain ponies there that it would be best you not be associated with.”

“Really?” Jewel gave the black unicorn a withering look. “And which ones might that be?”

Goodnight smirked. “Don't play dumb with me, Miss Jewel. You know which two I am talking about.”

Jewel glared at him, her chest heaving, tears pricking her eyes.

“My friends,” she managed to whisper. “Applespike and Zany.”

Goodnight nodded.

“They are the reason you have kept me away from my family? Away from Ponyville?”

“You are a high-society fashion model, my dear, not some little clothes horse for a two-bit boutique,” he explained condescendingly. “You are a paragon of mare-ish beauty! Fillies want to be like you. Colts want to date you. How long do you think that would last if any of them knew about your friendship with those freaks?”

“Well, if he wasn't related to Discord, the draconequess boy would have some potential,” Picture Perfect admitted lazily. “A little grooming, something to hide his eyes, and the fillies would flock to him. That other one, the dragon-pony, now that one is a lost cause.”

Jewel's temper was quickly reaching boiling point.

“How dare you say that about Applespike! He has the cutest, sweetest face I have ever seen!”

Stud Muffin snickered. “With a dragon tail draggin' behind him!”

The other unicorns chuckled at the joke. Jewel leaped from the desk in fury. She charged up her horn and pointed it at Stud Muffin who quickly darted behind Fair Weather.

“It is a lovely tail!” she cried. “And he is a lovely pony and a better gentle-colt than you could ever hope to be! He is sweet. He is kind. He is polite. And, despite what you think, he is beautiful!”

The unicorn bodyguards just smirked as Stud Muffin glared at her from behind the yellow unicorn. None of them considered her enough of a threat to warrant putting up a shield. Picture Perfect chuckled darkly.

“I figured you were sweet on one of them.” He turned to Goodnight. “Looks like I owe you five bits.”

Goodnight bowed to his boss. “I always suspected it was the dragon-pony. You should have heard the way she screamed when I burned that rope and she thought he was plummeting to his doom.”

“You pig!” Jewel cried, turning her horn on the black unicorn. Angry tears poured from her eyes. “You could have killed him, you horrible, disgusting brute! I'm glad they gave you that hot hoof at the Gala! You deserved it!”

The other two bodyguards gasped and backed away from Goodnight. The dark stallion was no longer smirking. His face was like a volcano ready to explode.

“They?”

Jewel choked. The power drained from her horn as her anger was replaced by fear. She had never seen Goodnight so furious before. The unicorn stallion towered over her then slowly lowered his head so his enraged eyes burned into hers. Now she knew how Spike must have felt when he confronted King Sombra.

“They?” he repeated, his voice quiet but menacing. “Do you mean that those two freaks of nature, those two abominations, are the ones responsible for my pain and utter humiliation at one of the most prestigious soirees in all of Equestria? They are the ones who made me a laughingstock before all those rich and important ponies? They are the reason my picture will soon be in every tabloid across the land under the heading: "Gala's Most Embarrassing Moments"? I have THEM to thank for this?”

Jewel stood still as stone, hardly daring to breathe as Goodnight bared his teeth in her face. She was terrified. She remembered her father standing up for her at the train station. Despite being smaller, he was ready to fight to defend his little girl. Oh, Daddy! I wish you were here now!

“I think she gets the picture, Goodnight,” said Picture Perfect soothingly. “You must forgive him,” he added to Jewel. “The poor fellow's been in a lather all night trying to find out who played that nasty trick on him. Now that he knows, he can get a good night's sleep and dream of restitution.”

“I want revenge!” Goodnight snarled.

“I know but 'restitution' sounds nicer. No need to frighten the filly any more than you already have.”

WHOOO! The train whistle blew long and loud, startling everyone. The ponies braced themselves as the train lurched from the station. Once it smoothed out, Picture Perfect relaxed back in his chair and motioned for Buff to continue the massage.

“You know, my dear,” he said, addressing Jewel. “It might be best if you went to your private car to finish signing those pictures. We all need a chance to...calm down.”

“Yes, sir,” Jewel answered meekly. She levitated the photos and quills and turned to leave.

POOF! A scroll appeared and landed on the floor at her feet. Goodnight glared at it. The other bodyguards braced themselves for another explosion. Picture Perfect huffed in exasperation.

“For crying out loud, girl! Get out of here! And take that blasted letter with you!”

“Oh, yes! By all means, get out!” Goodnight shouted after her as she hurried from the room. “Go write to your precious little freak! Let him know how I plan to burn his hooves off for what he did! That and feed that blasted draconequess boy to a Tatzlwurm!”

“Tatzlwurm?” she heard Picture Perfect murmur before the door closed behind her. “There's an idea...”

Jewel ran down the corridor, not caring if any pony could see her or what they might think about her rushing around. She almost crashed into the wardrobe pony who was stepping out of one of the berths. The cream-colored unicorn pressed herself against the wall as Jewel raced past.

“Goodness! Slow down, dear! You'll get someone hurt.”

“Sorry,” Jewel called over her shoulder, but did not slow down until she reached the last car on the train. It was her own private car; big, luxurious, and the envy of Stud Muffin, who had to share a car with the other stallions.

She quickly went in and locked the door behind her. Carelessly, she tossed the unsigned photos and quills onto a table then flopped down across her bed, buried her face in a pillow and sobbed. She had argued with Picture Perfect and his sycophantic ponies before, but never had she felt so frightened as she had looking into Goodnight's fiery eyes.

The brute! The horrible, cruel brute! She shuddered.

“I quit,” she whispered into the pillow. “I quit. And I mean it this time. I will not be a party to some pony who would willingly harm young colts! I will write Mummy and Daddy right away and tell them...tell them...”

Jewel curled up miserably on the mattress. Oh, who was she fooling? She wasn't going anywhere. Quitting the School for Gifted Unicorns to sign with Picture Perfect was her mistake. She had made her bed, and now she would have to lie in it. Who knew it would be so hard?

A gentle knock on the door roused her.

“Who is it?” she asked sharply.

“It's me, Buff! I brought you some chamomile tea.”

Jewel wiped her eyes with the back of her hoof and unlocked the door. The buff colored mare wheeled in a tea cart loaded with everything needed for an afternoon tea-- except for the food. Sighing, Jewel poured herself a cup then checked the sugar bowl. She was surprised to find it full of sugar cubes!

Buff smiled. “Just a little something to cheer you up.”

“Thank you.” Jewel stirred three lumps into her tea and put one in her mouth to crunch on.

“Are you all right, sweetheart?” Buff asked, pouring herself a cup. “They were mighty hard on you.”

“I'm fine,” said Jewel, without looking up. She took a sip from her cup then added another lump of sugar. “Thank you for asking.”

“I worry about you, honey,” the Earth pony said quietly. “You're too young to have to put up with this. Don't you think about quitting?”

Jewel shrugged. “All the time. But I keep going. I really can't afford to stop.”

Buff nodded and sipped her tea. She knew all about the unicorn filly's contract. Picture Perfect waved it over the child's head like a flag whenever he thought she was getting out of hoof.

“I understand, child,” she said after a moment. “But it weighs heavy on my mind. Especially with Goodnight making threats against your friends. When I left, it sounded like he and Picture Perfect were planning something nasty.”

Jewel shook her head. “I wouldn't worry too much about that. Picture Perfect refuses to travel to Ponyville and I doubt Goodnight would dare go there to get revenge. Not with Discord and the Mane Six there. Besides, my friends are pretty powerful. They can take care of themselves.”

Buff poured Jewel another cup then topped off her own. “If you don't mind me asking, how did you ever get mixed up with those two? I mean, I know your Mom is friends with their Moms and all that, but--”

“How could a sweet, pretty little unicorn like me be friends with a dragon-pony and a colt of chaos?” Jewel grinned. “We've known each other since we were infants. I always enjoyed playing with them. You never knew what might happen with Zany around!

I remember once when we were six, he turned us all into goldfish so we could swim in his mother's koi pond. It was fun until Applespike was carried off by a hawk. Zany had to turn him back into his real form to save him. You should have seen the look on that bird's face when it realized it had caught a pony!” Jewel giggled.

“Not your average play date,” Buff murmured.

“Nothing was ever average with them! Not even our practical jokes. Remember the joke I told you about; the one we pulled on my last visit to Ponyville? That was tame compared to some of the pranks we’ve played. I remember one time I swiped some pepper and some corn kernels so we could create a spell that made ponies sneeze popcorn! Then there was the time--”

THUMP! THUMP! THUMP!

Both mares jumped at the loud knock on the door.

“Miss Jewel, is Buff in there with you?” a male voice called through the door. “Picture Perfect needs her to file his hooves.”

Buff made a face. “Tell him I’ll be there in a minute!” she called back.

“Oh, he also told me to check that tea cart and make sure there was no cream or sugar on it!”

“Okay!” Buff snatched up the sugar bowl and looked around for a hiding place.

“Quick!” Jewel whispered, opening the window with her magic. The flustered mare dumped the sugar on the tracks, bowl and all. Jewel closed the window and unlocked the door.

“Come in!”

“Thank you.” Fair Weather bowed to Jewel as he stepped into the room. He closely inspected the tea cart for incriminating evidence, and seemed disappointed to find none. His eyes darted around the room, taking in every detail: from the unsigned stack of photos to the window Jewel had forgotten to lock back.

“Sorry for the intrusion,” he said, once he had finished his inspection. “Picture Perfect is worried about you gaining weight before the next photo shoot.”

Jewel sighed wearily. “And when will that be?” she asked.

“In two days. We’ll be stopping at the Crazy Pony Memorial. Better make sure your cowpony costume is ready.” He turned to Buff. “Come on, now. Some stallion is awaiting his hooficure.”

The hairdresser mare followed him out, taking the tea cart with her. Jewel locked the door after them then flopped down on the bed. She smiled sadly. Talking with Buff had brought back some pleasant memories: the night Applespike had tried to catch a falling star in a butterfly net, the time Zany made her birthday cake come to life and dance the Samba, or the day all three of them rode on the back of a giant bass that lived in the lake! She sighed. Those were such wonderful times!

Reluctantly, she turned her head to look at the unfinished pile of photographs. There weren’t very many left. She could finish signing those later. They wouldn’t be mailed out to the fan club until next week, anyway, and…

Jewel gasped. Applespike’s letter! Good heavens, she had forgotten all about it! She sat up, frantically searching the table for it. Had Fair Weather taken it or, maybe, Buff? No! There it was, next to the photos!

Breathing a sigh of relief, she levitated it over to the bed and switched on the reading lamp. It was strange, she thought, for Applespike to send her a letter in the morning. Usually, he sent them in the evening, when he knew she might be alone. She wondered what was so important that it could not wait. Carefully, she broke the seal and began to read.

Dearest Jewel,

I hope you are able to read this. I wrote it on the train to Ponyville and the car rocks a bit. I just want to tell you that last night was one of the most…No! Correction! It was THE most wonderful night of my life!

Holding you in my arms, feeling your cheek against mine, smelling your sweet magnolia scent; it all felt so good and so right. When you kissed me-- how can I describe it—it was like the most marvelous thing in the world! I felt like one of Pinkie’s balloons floating away and you were the string, keeping me anchored. I didn’t want it to end. I still don’t. I’ve sat here for the past hour or so, staring out the window, remembering the feel and taste of your lips. And the memory just keeps getting sweeter.

You know, I’ve always had a crush on you. Ever since we were toddlers, and your Mom brought you to play with us. You were the prettiest little foal and you had the sweetest giggle. Sometimes, I encouraged Zany to do something crazy just so I could hear it. You were always a good and faithful friend. But, now, I feel more than a crush and I want more than a friend.

Jewel. I love you.

I truly, deeply love you. And I know I want to be with you…forever. You may not feel the same, but some part of me, deep down, says you do. We can’t be together now, but, believe me when I say, I will wait for you! As long as it takes. I love you.

Yours Forever,

Applespike

Jewel choked back a sob, her eyes filling with tears.

“Applespike,” she whispered.

Jewel. I love you.

“I love you, too.”

I truly, deeply love you.

“I truly, madly, deeply love you.”

I will wait for you. As long as it takes.

Jewel brushed her muzzle against the parchment. It smelled of hot apple pie. His scent. Softly, she kissed the paper, caressing the words as if they were his lips.

“You won’t have to wait long,” she whispered. "I promise."

t�[��

Comments

[Periwinkle fay 22]

I love this story. It's a great extention of this universe's characters and sense of family.

[LunaJack]

8394118
Thank you. I love the DoD universe and the characters are so much fun.

[TwibraFlattercordlover]

“I truly, madly, deeply love you.”

Ooooohhh! I love that song!

[LunaJack]

8712876
I didn't realize it was a song. I was quoting a movie with Alan Rickman: "Truly, Madly, Deeply". I never cried so hard at a movie in my life. I will need to listen to that song! Thank you.

[SoundWave3456]

Beautiful, simply beautiful.

[LunaJack]

10127359
Thank you